jack nicholson eyebrows

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Actors’ Astrology Meme: Taurus (April 20th - May 20th)

Strength: Dependable, Persistent, Loyal, Patient, Generous

Weakness: Self-Indulging, Possessive, Materialistic

Other actors born under this sign: Audrey Hepburn, Henry Cavill, Diana Agron, Channing Tatum, Amber Heard, Rami Malek, Megan Fox, Emilio Estevez, Renée Zellweger, Al Pacino, Jessica Alba, George Clooney, Kirsten Dunst, Robert Pattinson, Stana Katic, Daniel Day-Lewis, Kate Mulgrew, Jack Gleeson

Things people have actually said to me with their face holes that should not be said to a pregnant woman:

“Twins or triplets? Hehehe” -creepy old dude at the store with Jack Nicholson eyebrows. Fuck off. I will punch you in your dumb, smug, ugly face.

“Do you really think you’re going to make it another month?” -coworker. Well, that is when I’m due and I’m on track as far as growth but thanks for saying I look huge.

“Do you want that frapuccino without the coffee?” -sweet, young barista at Starbucks. Friend, I have a 3 year old, a 4 year old, a full time job, and I’m growing a whole new human. Give me the goddamn caffeine.

“Are you getting your son circumcised?” -honestly I forget who asked me this but I know for sure the condition of my son’s penis is none of their business.

“How much bigger can you get?!?!” -my mother in law. She said this when I still had 8+ weeks to go. Well, I can get about 2 months bigger, probably.