Imagine Ryan and Jack waking up at almost two am to the sounds of half-stifled laughter and the microwave beep echoing through the penthouse. They’re used to hearing the lads fucking around so they just roll their eyes and go about their morning.
Of course, an hour later Jeremy comes running in with his hands full of some gooey liquid, giggling like a madman. But, to their surprise, Geoff comes in right after him, arms full of the same liquid and laughing just as hard.
Ryan and Jack are torn between laughing at the pair, and being vaguely concerned about what exactly the liquid is.
Anyway, Geoff is a cool gang dad and is an actual fifteen year old occasionally and I love him.
How come nobody, nobody, has talked about AWHU in the Fake Achievement Hunter Crew universe???
Every Monday they meet up in the penthouse (or the headquarters, wherever you please) to discuss this week’s shenanigans.
The who can range anywhere from Geoff, Jack, and Steffie to all of the main crew, all of b-team, Haus, Cow Chop, Sugar Pine, AttackAttack, Officer Luna and Detective Demarias, journalist Ashley Jenkins, reporters Meg Turney and Jessica Nigri, Adam Ellis from the FIB, e v e r y b o d y.
From roughly six am to about midnight, the penthouse is filled to the brim with criminals.
All the odds and ends are discussed throughout the day: everyone’s briefed on upcoming heists and jobs, they spitball new ideas, Cow Chop brings up explosive intakes, Haus talks about which rich fucks are getting a little too chatty. Luna and Demarias comes in every other week with who’s coming in and out of the cells, which officers are getting ancy, where patrols are gonna be positioned. Mica brings word of which departments are under tax cuts, whos filed for bankruptcy, and the mayors upcoming agenda. Meg and Jess make room for headlines and garaunteed helicopter coverage, Ellis comes in for hitlists, who causes the most issues and raises the most heat.
Little odds and ends are planned out, events to keep the city on it’s toes (ie Battle Buddies heading up to Sandy Shores with Cow Chop for target practice, Team Nice Dynamite having their way with a few buildings that are marked for demolition, Jack nabbing a new type of chopper from the airport, etc)
Steffie always comes in around lunch with pizza and expense reports.
Every second Monday, awhu is scheduled at the main warehouse, and they all spend the day unloading supplies and new ammunitions and vehicles. That evening, before drinks, they test out all the new toys.
The best part?
Without a doubt, every Monday, Geoff grumbles about how many people they have working for them; Lindsay, why do we have so many fucking people? How are we paying them?
i like to think that with all the change in command with ah (geoff to lindsay to trevor etc etc), whenever anybody in the fake ah crew wants to do something, they get stuck in a forever loop of “go ask your mother”
like the lads ambush geoff with “can we use this grenade launcher to blow up an abandoned strip mall” and geoff’s like “that’s not my problem anymore, go ask trevor”
and trevor is in the middle of scheduling four million meetings and jobs and deliveries and he looks at the lads with the wide-eyed, manic expression of someone who’s been subsisting on coffee for the past two days and he says “do i look like i have time for this, jfc, go ask lindsay”
and lindsay’s like “i mean, i gotta be honest, that sounds like a fucking awesome idea, but you should probably ask jack, jack knows how to be reasonable”
(jack, deadpan, before the lads can even finish asking: “no.”)