jack is judging you

So

If someone ships Jashi they do not support pedophilia
If someone ships Jashi they do not support incest
If Jashi is canon, that does not make Samurai Jack a trash show
If Jashi is not canon, that does not make Samurai Jack a trash show
At THIS MOMENT (1:58 am on April 27) none of us know anything for sure. Whether she’s actually Jack’s daughter, whether she’s much younger than him or not really because he didn’t age, etc.
Damn people.

You Can’t Wear That, Jack Maynard Imagine

Highly requested for story #1 to be with Jack Maynard, so here it is! Hope you enjoy:)

-Cute Pic-

-Jack has a crush on Y/N-

———

You walk out into the living room where you find Conor, Josh and Jack all sitting together.

“Guys? Does this look ok?” you had plans with a guy that night and didn’t want to make a bad impression. You were wearing shorts and a plain shirt and even you thought that it was kind of boring. The three of them look at you, Josh rolling his eyes, Conor actually judging the outfit, and Jack just checking you out.

“Is this for that guy?” Conor asks, Jack’s eyes widen a little at Conor’s words but they quickly return to normal when he calms down.You know Jack has always had a crush on you but he’s never made any moves so you just don’t bother trying to take it anywhere.

You nod your head yes at Conor and he instantly laughs. “Are you trying to bore him before you even speak?” he says still laughing, you not finding it as humorous.

“I’m not boring” you defend yourself.

“Y/N please” Josh joins in, “you literally spent all of last night reading instead of coming out with all of us”

Conor laughs and you look to Jack to see if he was going to join in.

“I think her outfit looks fine” Jack smiles at you sweetly before he looks down to his hands.

“That’s just because you don’t want another guy to look at her like you do” Josh rolls his eyes at Jack and Jack’s face instantly went red.

“Seriously though, maybe wear like a dress or something” Conor gives your current outfit a disgusted look and then he looks away.

You sigh as you walk away to find another outfit. After frantically pulling clothes out of your wardrobe, you find a short black dress that showed off some cleavage.

‘This’ll get me some attention’ you think to yourself as you throw it on.

The dress sat perfectly on you and hugged your curves tightly, this guy was in for a real treat. You walk out of your room to go model the dress for the guys and are startled when you bump into Jack. He looks at your dress and his tongue swipes his upper lip, his eyes staring at you intensely.

“Is it bad?” you ask unsure about your choice now.

Jack looks up to your eyes and you could feel his stare in your stomach.

“You can’t wear that” Jack says bringing himself closer to you.

Was Jack Maynard about to make a move on you? Your heart raced as he got closer and closer,  you didn’t know if what was happening was true.

“Is something wrong with it?” you ask gulping as he nears your body. His chest was inches from your face and you could feel the warmth from his body.

Jack brings his head down to whisper, and what he says causes your heart to melt on spot, “If you wear that out, I wont be the guy who takes it off”.

He places his hand on your hip and brings his face down so his nose was centimetres away from yours. You wrap your arms around his neck and he lifts you up to wrap your legs around his body. He pushes you up against the wall and continues to kiss you sloppily.

His kiss was warm and wet, it was very sexual and it turned you on. His hands went around your waist as he rubbed up on you, creating friction. One of your straps fell from your shoulder and when Jack realizes, he takes his chance and begins to sloppily kiss your neck, leaving hickeys behind.

“AAAHHHH” Conor yells as he falls to the ground pretending to cry. He covered his eyes as you jump down from Jacks body. Both yours and Jacks faces were bright red.

“Don’t be so dramatic” Jack rolls his eyes trying to play it off cool.

“Yeah, at least i know i chose the right outfit” you laugh instantly getting a glare from Conor.

“This is disgusting” Conor whines as he stands back up shaking his head. He storms away angrily and you give Jack a cheeky grin.

Injustice 2 Guest Character: Samurai Jack

Vs Batman

Jack: You use the shadows to fight for the light?”

Batman: It’s worked so far.

Jack: Indeed but can that tactic defeat me?

Jack: The line you walk is a perilous one. 

Batman: I’m afraid I might cross It every day.

Jack: Let us see if your conviction is steadfast. 

Batman: You don’t belong in this time.

Jack: I’m aware, that’s why I must have your aid.

Batman: Only if you deserve it.

Batman: That sword makes me uneasy.

Jack: It cannot harm the innocent.

Batman: If your lying you’ll regret it.

Vs Superman

Jack: Your pain does not excuse your actions.

Superman: How could you know?

Jack: More then you can imagine.

Jack: I’ve got to get back, back to the past.

Superman: I can’t help you there.

Jack: You must!

Superman: This isn’t your world.

Jack: Neither is it yours.

Superman: Touche.

Superman: You still haven’t defeated Aku.

Jack: I will in Time.

Superman: Time isn’t on your side right now.

Vs Aquaman

Jack: I am no enemy of yours your highness. 

Aquaman: I do not forgive so easily.

Jack: Very well.

Jack: You almost led your people to ruin.

Aquaman: Who are you to judge?!

Jack: One who would see them protected.

Aquaman: Samurai. What do you seek?

Jack: A means to return to my world.

Aquaman: Our relics belong only to Atlantis.

Aquaman: I would see if it is true.

Jack: What would you see.

Aquaman: If that sword harms only the guilty.

Vs Harley

Jack: You, are deeply troubled.

Harley: Says who?

Jack: Anyone with eyes.

Jack: Darkness hangs to you.

Harley: Must be my new shampoo.

Jack: Yes clearly.

Harley: What is this a pyjama party?

Jack: What on Earth gave you that idea?

Harley: Your Dressing gown duh!


Harley: Got any tips for looking after Haynes.

Jack: Yes. Refine from dyeing their hair.

Harley: Bah! Everyone’s a Critic. 

Vs Deadshot

Jack: Can I help you Marksmen?

Deadshot: Yeah. Please die quickly.

Jack: At very least you are polite.

Jack: Is your aim true Villain?

Deadshot: My reputation say otherwise?

Jack: Your reputation is what concerns me.

Deadshot: Poor little Samurai lost in time.

Jack: Your mockery will not affect me Marksmen.

Deadshot: You really sure about that?

Deadshot: Heard there bounty on you.

Jack: Greater then you have failed to claim it.

Deadshot: Then they weren’t greater then me.


Vs Bane

Jack: I would test your strength warrior.

Bane: I accept your challenge.

Jack: Not your body’s your souls. 

Jack: What could create such a man?

Bane: Penta Dura is what made me. 

Jack: Then it is a place of evil. 

Bane: Konichiwa.

Jack: You speak my home tongue.

Bane: Allow me to show you what else I know.

Bane: Have you ever killed? 

Jack: No. I will never allow it.

Bane: I once said that too.

Vs Doctor Fate

Jack: Please tell me? Do I succeed? 

Dr Fate: Your destiny is for you to learn. Only your choices can reveal it

Jack: Then I choose to learn it now!

Jack: You are familiar to me. 

Dr Fate: We have watched over you since you arrived.

Jack: Would you kindly stop!


Dr Fate: Aku’s shadow will take you to the brink.

Jack: I am ready for anything.

Dr Fate: We shall see.


Dr Fate: You could not defeat the Guardian what makes you think you can defeat me?

Jack: Only a fool gives up without trying.

Dr Fate: And you are no fool.

Vs Supergirl

Jack: Do you have to strength to take up your cousins mantel? 

Supergirl: Think I’m not up to it?

Jack: This battle will decide.

Jack: I have seen many strange things.

Supergirl: Like what, talking dogs?

Jack: That was the least strange of all.

Supergirl: You can fly?

Jack: No jump good.

Supergirl: Right…

Supergirl: Think that sword can harm me.

Jack: It’s magic.

Supergirl: Oh! Well… Crap.

Vs Brainiac

Jack: You claim to be a collector.

Brainiac: I archive worlds and discard the rest. 

Jack: Then you are a true fiend.

Jack: Just nuts and bolts.

Brainiac: My flesh is artificial yes. 

Jack: Then it will cut all the same.

Brainiac: I detect a temporal abnormality from you.

Jack: Aku’s time portal no doubt!

Brainiac: Then you are worthy of my Collection.

Brainiac: Why do you impede me?

Jack: All life is worth protecting devil.

Braniac: Another who falls to Human Error. 

Vs Joker

Jack: I will defeat you.

Joker: Oh how do you figure that?

Jack: Because I am very smart and you are pure evil. 

Jack: Your Jokes… Are not funny.

Joker: -Gasp- Philistine! 

Jack: Narcissist.

Joker: Let’s put a smile on that face.

Jack: You have no such a ability.

Joker: No but I do have a knife.

Joker: A samurai walks into a bar and says…?

Jack: Let me guess; Ouch!

Joker: Well yes, but you forgot the shrikes for mercy.

Vs Black Adam

Jack: A ruler must stand with their people not above them.

Black Adam: Then how can they see the path ahead?

Jack: By leading from the front.

Jack: I have stood before Ra himself.

Black Adam: What did he say to you?

Jack: Nothing. It was very disappointing 

Black Adam: Who dares walk in my path?

Jack: I meant no offence.

Black Adam: Ignorance will not save you. 

Black Adam: I desire that Blade.

Jack: I cannot allow that.

Black Adam: I was not asking. 

Impressions

“What was that for?” Joe asks, blinking over at Jack as the younger man pulls back, a smile on his lips.

“You’re cute.”

“I was doing a weird impression.

“I stand by what I said.”

“You’re such a dork,” Joe laughs, “Are you going to kiss me every time I do an impression?”

“Probably.”

“Guess I need to make sure you aren’t around when I film an impressions video then,” Joe hums as he tugs Jack closer, “Or else you’ll out us to everyone.”

“Not my fault if my boyfriend is so adorable when he does impressions.”

“You have an odd fetish, Jack Maynard.”

“It’s not a fetish!”

“Sure it’s not,” Joe grins, leaning in to kiss Jack again, “But that’s alright, because I have lots of impressions I can do for you.”

“Now who’s the dork?” Jack smiles, his hand slipping under Joe’s shirt.

“If it means getting kisses from my boyfriend? Gladly.”


For the next week or so, whenever they were alone, Joe would do a different impression, laughing until Jack tugged him close enough to kiss him, because he meant it. Joe looked cute doing his impressions, and there was nothing wrong with him kissing his adorable boyfriend. Especially since he couldn’t do it anywhere where there was people, since they weren’t out yet.

The impressions seemed to just naturally become their thing, where neither even really thought about it, and Joe would find himself randomly doing an impression of a character, only breaking from it as Jack leaned in to kiss him.

Not that either complained.

But it became so normal, that they forgot about it, until it was what outed them to their mates.


The boys were over at Joe’s, all hanging around, even though they were meant to be planning a video to do together.

Except it was them and they all got easily distracted.

Somehow they all got onto the topic of Joe’s impressions, and that sparked a conversation between Conor and Joe about how they should do another singing impressions video, since the last two had done so well, and they were fun to film.

Without really thinking about it, Joe started to do some impressions, wanting to show the new ones he had been working on.

And Jack couldn’t help but find the man sat next to him adorable, because he really did love it when Joe did his impressions, he always seemed like he was having fun doing so.

Once Joe had finished his latest impression, Jack just followed the natural instinct that had formed, and leaned over and kissed Joe quickly on the lips. The older man thought nothing of it, just smiled back at Jack, before turning his attention to Conor to continue their conversation.

Which is when he saw the shocked expressions of all of their mates staring at the two.


“Uhm,” Joe glances quickly over at Jack, who’s cheeks had tinged red, the realization of what had just happened catching up to him.

“Something you need to tell us?” Oli asks, “Or is that just another new impression?”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.” Jack mumbles.

“Us finding out? Or you two kissing?” Josh smirks, “Although judging by how normal that looked, I’m going with us finding out.”

“Surprise?” Joe tries, offering a sheepish smile to the group.

“No shit, surprise,” Conor rolls his eyes, “Why didn’t you two just tell us?”

“Because it’s still fairly new,” Jack explains, “And we were trying to enjoy it without you lot knowing.”

“Why didn’t you want us to know?!” Caspar gapes at the two, “We don’t think any differently of you two!”

“That’s not what we were worried about,” Joe shakes his head, “More about how much you guys will tease us.”

“Now why would you possibly think we’re going to tease you?” Josh drawls, “Perhaps because Jack looked at you like a lovesick fool while you made the impression?”

“Or because he just had to kiss you after?” Oli continues, laughing lightly as the couple cheeks turn red.

“Or maybe,” Mikey speaks up, “Because this opens a whole new world of teasing.”

“Mikey finally spoke some wise words!” Conor laughs, “Ooh, this is going to be fun.”

Turning his head to look at Jack, Joe sighs, “I’m never doing an impression around you again.”

“But they know now! That isn’t fair!”

So I let my sister and her friends borrow my phone. A few weeks later, I went into notes and noticed there was a new one called “random story.” I had no idea what it was, so I opened it and:

One day, Jacksepticeye wanted cookies, so he went into the kitchen and suddenly there was Markiplier!
“Mark!” Jack yelled “what are you doing here?”
“Looking for your laptop…” Mark replied.
“But don’t you have your laptop?” Jack said, confused.
“Umm….. Mine broke.”
“Why do you have a camera then?” Jack asked somehow even more confused. “And why did you come all the way to Ireland?”
“I was visiting you!” Mark stammered.
“You know what, fine,” Jack said. “Um… Just don’t judge my home screen.” Jack strangely added.
“What do you mean?” Mark opened the laptop and… IT WAS A PICTURE OF MARK!!!
-written by (sisters name here) and (her friends)


MY TEN YEAR OLD SISTER IS STARTING TO WRITE SEPTIPLIER FANFICTION 

SHE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME SHE SHIPPED IT

HER FRIENDS DONT EVEN WATCH MARK AND JACK’S VIDEOS

IM DONE

10

“The other reason I took this job was so I could do really cool stuff like this. It is with great pride that my first order of business as a commander of this base is the announcement of the promotion of Major Samantha Carter to Lieutenant Colonel.”

Unpopular opinion and I mean zero offense by it, but I do not like default Scott Ryder’s face. I would reblog so much Reyder content if it wasn’t for his face. And a small part of it is the generic pretty white boy thing, sure, but mostly it’s his facial proportions. I look at him and I feel like the eyes should be a little smaller and the nose and mouth should be a little lower. As it is right now, his face falls directly into that uncanny valley for me, and so I have tried to look at his face in different gifs and there are rare moments when I’m like, “this is acceptable.” But then I tried to start a playthrough with the default face and I just cannot. NOpe nope nope I’m sorry but I cannot handle it

McCree;

The western male always knew that you and your family didn’t get along that well but he didn’t think it would be this bad. Your parents had invited you both to come over for dinner since they wanted to “meet the boy that stole their child’s heart”.

Keep reading

CHAOTIC CHRISTMAS

SHIP: Reader x Jacksepticeye

ABOUT: Jack has been dating (y/n) for four years and it’s their first Christmas where they are together. It’s chaotic and top it all off, MatPat ( (y/n)’s brother), Nate, and Mark are there!

Jack was extremely nervous.

He everything to be perfect for (y/n)’s and his first Christmas.

He planned on asking (y/n) to marry him but he felt the pressure on him. So he called up the three people who knew (y/n) best (other then him) and asked them to come over.

Soon three people showed up to the house and they all sat eating pizza with Jack.

“Well, Does anyone know how I should propose?” Jack said “ Matt! You know her the best!”

MatPat sat up and said, “(y/n) and me always talked about how she wanted to get married. Still do to this day. She said she wants to be pranked when she gets engaged.”

The room went silent for a moment until Nate scream loudly into everyone’s ears and causing Mark to almost drop his pizza:

“I KNOW HOW YOU CAN DO IT!”

“SHIT MAN CAN YOU NOT SCREAM?!” Mark yelled

It was now the night of Christmas, Jack and (y/n) invited Steph, Matt, Mark, and Nate.

They sat at the dinner table all eating Turkey. Steph was talking with (y/n) about the YouTube algorithm theory that Matt and her made.

“So, Jack. Do you see a future with (y/n)?” Matt said.

“Of course I do. (Y/n) is the one for me!” Jack said.

“Mhm. Well, Jack I do respect you as a YouTuber and a person but I don’t think you are right for my sibling” Matt said.

“Matthew” (y/n) replied with a ‘drop the subject’ tone of voice.

“Who are you to judge our relationship, Matt?” Jack said.

“Well I am (y/n)’s brother and I only want the best for them” Matt said.

Jack stood up very angered and looked at Matthew with anger spilling from his eyes.

“Shut up.” Jack said.

“Make me, Sean” Matt said.

Jack then grabbed Matt’s shirt.

“Get off me…” Matt said.

“No.” Jack said.

“Then be a real man” Matt said, “Do it”

At that moment Matt smirked and handed Jack the ring while (y/n) wasn’t looking.

Mark grabbed Jack and held him back, Steph grabbed Matt and Nate looked really confused.

“Jack… What’s this all about?! Why are the two of you gonna fight.” (Y/n) said.

“(Y/n)” Jack said while sliding Mark’s hand off his shoulder.

“What?”

“(Y/n) (y/m/n) Patrick. Four years ago, on date of October 29th, I met the most beautiful/handsome/perfect person I could see with my god damn eyes.” Jack said

“Jack?”

“Well. Matt told me that you wanted to be pranked when you someone asked you to marry them…”

“Oh my god” (y/n) said as Jack got down on one knee

“(Y/n) will you marry me?” Jack asked

“Yes!” (Y/n) said.

“That was one chaotic Christmas” Steph whispered to Matt.