jack is going to hate me

idk why but it seems all the opposition to nazis from white goyim seems so…….performative.

like y’all will go on and on about punching nazis, but you won’t even mention how jcc’s are getting bomb threats, or critically examine the rise of antisemitism on the left. hell, most of the gentile blogs that i follow that talk about “i hate nazis i wanna punch them” say almost jack shit about actual antisemitism…..

it just gives me a really bad feeling overall. kinda seems like you care about seeming progressive, but don’t actually care about our lives.

(I really want gentiles to reblog this btw)

Sappy Valentine’s Day.

Stupid Blizzard and their stupid Valentines Day cards giving Soldier and Reaper the only roses out of the bunch like seriously who do they think they are I hate everything.

in which jack and shitty accidentally date

based on a dream I had, I present: a short semi-fic about Jack and Shitty and their day-long, beautiful relationship.

Basically, this is what happens:

At a kegster during their freshmen year, in which Shitty is running around being the life of the party even though he’s a freshman, Jack is also in attendance– talking to Berger and Marsh in the kitchen. Jack is there, partly to keep an eye on Shitty, partly because he is surprised by how much he does like some of the guys on his team, mostly because they had won today and Jack is in quite a good mood. Not a good enough mood that he is going to risk going into the living room where music is blasting, but in a good enough mood that he is holding a solo cup of beer and chilling in the kitchen, chatting with Berger and Marsh. He is at ease as Jack ever is– laughing good naturedly as they tease both him and each other and of course, this is when the trouble starts.

The trouble is this: Marsh is drunk and excited that Jack has actually shown up to a Haus kegster and since Jack seems to be in a good mood, Marsh decides to take a risk and ask Jack a Question. More specifically, Marsh rams an friendly elbow into Jack’s ribs and goes:

“Yo, Zimmermann, you like anyone on campus yet?”

A few months prior, that question would have made Jack freeze up. But now, Jack smiles easily (because honestly, it is a rather respectful question– “like” instead of “fuck”; “anyone” instead of assuming “girl”) and he certainly doesn’t want to get into his romantic history or lack of crushes so he smiles, shrugs, and says

“Nah, love’s shitty,” It’s still friendly and he smiles and asks Berg about his crush that the whole team knows about and that should be that.

The problem, however, is that what Alex Berger and Carter Marsh heard was not “Nah, love’s shitty,” but “I’m in love with Shitty.”

Which, of course, is a much bigger deal. 

Keep reading

NHL Bitty, Part II - Bitty v. Jack: Chirping

They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.

___________

Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”

Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.

“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”

Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband. 

Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”

“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”

“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”

“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”

From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly. 

“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”

Something Worth While

The Samwell legacy is continued when Jack and Bitty’s son attends Samwell University after a horrible accident, in hopes their son will find something worth while like Jack did all those years ago. A tale of stolen recipes, fire extinguishers, and of course- the SMH feud with the lacrosse team

(Angsty and containing a character with bipolar disorder.)

*******************************

It was a frat house, and not even a good one. It looked about one hundred years old, the steps creaked with the horrifying idea of collapsing under each step, and the yard contained rusty old lawn chairs. Even if Jeremy Zimmermann did go to college, he would definitely not live in a frat house that looks like this.

“You cannot be serious.” Jeremy hisses, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder, but not turning around to face his parents.

“One-hundred percent serious, honey.” His Dad says, and the passive-aggressive southern hitch to his voice makes Jeremy to shut up about his current position.

“Why can’t I just live in a dorm or something?” Jeremy tries a different approach, finally turning around and looking at his Papa, specifically not his other dad. You would think Jack Zimmermann, NHL superstar, would be the hard ass. 

“Because this is better.” His Papa shifts his feet from side to side, looking extremely nervous. Either because his son was about to live in a death trap, or because he would be forced to go to Samwell, Jeremy didn’t know.

“We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think it was best.” His Papa adds, and his hopeful and still worried eyes broke Jeremy’s heart a little than it already has, because he always hated disappointing his parents and goddamn did he screw up this time.

“I’m an adult. You can’t force me to stay here.” Jeremy argues, and he sees his older sister bristle a little from behind their dad.

“You sure ain’t actin’ like an adult, Jeremy.” His Dad pipes in, his voice more firm. “And you’re right, we can’t keep you here. But you told us in the hospital you wanted our help and that you were trying to get better, but you felt alone. And honey, we never wanted you to feel like that. Ever” His Dad takes a deep breath, and his tone holds no malice. Just a tremor of fear for what their son was going through. This was Jack’s idea after all.

Keep reading

Masterlist.

MY MASTERLIST!
I Hate you || Jack Maynard
Steal my girl || Joe Sugg 
Player || Jack Maynard 
Welcome || Jack Maynard
Why’d You Leave? || Jack Maynard
Loving Eyes || Jack Maynard 
Cuddles now? || Jack Maynard 
Loving Eyes || Jack Maynard
Can’t Hurt You anymore || Jack Maynard 
Announced || Jack Maynard
You Don’t Love Me || Joe Sugg 
You’re single || Jack Maynard
Kisses and Roses || Jack Maynard 
Concert || Conor Maynard 
Hate || Conor Maynard 
Meeting Zalfie || Joe Sugg
Come to Bed || Joe Sugg 
Pregnant || Jack Maynard 
You Are My Entire Life || Joe Sugg
I Need to Tell You Something || Jack Maynard
Always and Forever || Jack Maynard
Wow || Jack Maynard
Who are you, part one || Joe Sugg
Who are you, Part two || Joe Sugg 
Normal Relationship || Jack Maynard
Hitchhiker part 1 || Joe Sugg 
Hitchhiker part 2 || Joe Sugg
Naked And Afraid || Josh Pieters 
Just a Label || Conor Maynard 
I Promise || Conor Maynard Imagine
Boyfriend Tag || Joe Sugg 
Bad Dreams || Jack Maynard 
Deeper in love || Jack Maynard
Interviews || Joe Sugg 
Sleepy Suprise || Jack Maynard
Deuteranopia || Joe Sugg
Stars || Conor Maynard
Whipped || Conor Maynard 
Chapstick Challenge || Conor Maynard
Concussion || Joe Sugg 
Touchy Feely || Joe Sugg
Pranks || Joe Sugg 
Going Home, Part 1 || Jack Maynard 
Going Home Part 2 || Jack Maynard 
Inadequate || Conor Maynard 
Libary || Caspar Lee 
Aggressive || Joe Sugg 
We’re a Family || Caspar Lee 
Embrace || Conor Maynard 
Risk It All || Jack Maynard 
interrupted || Jack Maynard 
I Hate Me Too || Conor Maynard
Family || Joe Sugg 
You’re Different || Buttercream Squad 
You Need Help || Joe Sugg
Little Bird || Jack Maynard
Jealous || Joe Sugg
Good Job Anna || Jack Maynard 
Panic Attacks || Caspar Lee 

Because They Can (Holy trinity x FemReader) fluffy drabble

Originally posted by pewdieberg

(( gif not mine - cutes ))

(A/n): ahhhh kill me

Request:  Request! Fem!Reader is a popular gamer who collabs a lot. After several hate comments about how “a girl can’t play videogames,” her friends Mark, Felix and Jack cheer her up through a Skype call. If you do this request, I would really love it if you’d tag me though I understand if you would prefer not to :D

Warnings: lmao swearing

_____

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND.”

“JUST GO AROUND THE BEND.”

“THAT’S LIKE THE SKETCHIEST THING I COULD DO.”

Not being able to coordinate yourself, your character ended up going backward by your control. You did not, in anyway, trust the front bend. Regardless of what Felix was trying to tell you.

You ended up dying.

“Oh, for fuck sake.” you grumbled, allowing yourself leeway to fall back in your chair.

“What,” breathed Felix “did I tell you.”

Together, Mark and the Irishman laughed heartily and looked into their set up cameras. You couldn’t help up pout at their joyous outbursts, hearing Felix tune in as well.

“I don’t know!” you began to defend, sitting up right again to reload the game.

“If I were to go down the front bend, I would’ve gotten jumped by 1A. I mean, they have lighter weaponry, but they had more soldiers.”

Beginning to mutter, you finished with “2B had less people so I thought I could just… slip by.”

Mark spit a bit before he laughed again, and said:

“I don’t think that’s how that works, hon.”

You only scoffed and challenged him with a “We’ll see.” before starting up a new map and inducing them to join.

Though the game had already started, and Jack and Felix were continuing commentary; you were slightly distracted by the comments of your stream.

Something’s about girls and games.

“Jack, if you round the corner onnnn…” you drawled for a moment before making up your mind “your second left, there is spare ammo in that wedge.”

“For sure?” confirmed Jack, clicking away at his mouse.

“Yeah, I remember. But, don’t pick up all of it, you won’t have room in your pack left.” you explained further “Utilize the space as much as you can so that you can pick up things like torch batteries. Yes, you will need them in the third map; second half.”

Mark seemed to be confused for a second, peering into his camera lens “Have you played through this before?” he asked.

“No.” you answered “You can just assume, because in that map, the only places to ‘hide’ in are the forest caves. Which are dark.”

Mark and Jack pushed out a chorus of ‘oh’s and thanked you heartily. Felix and yourself laughed, and you allowed yourself to glance at the chat once again.

“Should we take maybe five minutes to read over some things in the chat?” you suggested. The three boys agreed.

“Suuure thing.” sang Sean. Quickly, he leaned back in his chair and stretched himself fully; making inhuman groans with his mouth. You winced quaintly and chuckled.

“Uhhhmmm..” Mark sounded uncomfortable “these aren’t very appropriate.”

You were struck by confusion at first, offering your lens a childish look. You then checked, and read several comments in the below chat.

‘she’s pretty dumb for getting killed so easily lmao’

‘idiot move (Y/n)’

‘why girl’s shouldn’t play video games ^^^ they will get you killed smh’’

‘airheaded bitch wtf’

Well, shit. You wouldn’t have guessed people were still this immature. Have to admit though, you were a little peeved they totally bypassed everything you had just said.

“They mean me…” you mumbled half hearted.

“Yeah,” Felix said, sounding detached “they do.”

The four of you kind of sat in an uneasy silence. The chat slowed, some viewers even slightly apologizing.

Until one:

‘yea and? now get her off the stream ffs’

Ouch.

Mark was the first to admit how rude that was, giving his camera lens an uneasy stare. Jack followed suit with a disapproving look- the kind that tore out the hearts of his viewers.

Felix- well Felix killed it. He went on a lengthy rant about how sexist the comment was and how much of a douche that made them for saying it.

He went full rage.

“Do you want to… continue the stream?” you mumbled, silently hoping they would say no. You were alright, just feeling a little defeated at the moment. You felt as though you couldn’t hold yourself in front of any audience any longer.

“Not really.” said Mark, still glaring at his camera “Not at all…”

“Not anymore, I don’t.” agreed Jack.

The atmosphere hung thickly around the situation. Countless times, viewers that were actually trying to enjoy the stream apologized for the words of the ignorant. You almost felt bad.

But not too bad when you reached up and shut down your stream recording camera.

Felix, Sean and Mark did the same.

Silence. The skype call and webcams remained.

“(Y/n) don’t be sad.” said Felix. He smiled at you.

You managed your own grin and told him you weren’t sad. Afterwards, you thanked him for standing up for you.

“Don’t be a sad pupper.” giggled Mark effortlessly. He was really, heavily worried. Though, the male wasn’t sure it came across in his voice.

“No, no I’m not sad… defeated maybe.” you clarified.

Felix was a little heart broken. You were one of his closest friends, he didn’t need to see- or hear you sound so… deflated.

“Well they are just fucking… fucking dickholes.” he demanded stiffly.

“I swear to god, if any other small brained, chapstick looking mother dickbag says one more thing, I’m moving to America and starting a rally.”

You laughed quietly at the Swede’s declaration “Mother dic-”

“Mother dickbag.”

That made you at least chuckle a little, along side Jack and Mark. You were glad to be charmed by Mark’s deep falsetto of a laugh and Sean’s warm welcoming giggle.

“Hey hey don’t worry, she already lives by me. I’ll punch everyone in the face and then give her a hug.” stated Mark.

“I’ll regulate who can and cannot comment of her videos- only the very best may speak to her.” offered Jack, sounding proud.

You giggled some more, joined by the entire group.

“You guys are like my protection squad…” you uttered, filling with joy at an alarming rate.

“Well I mean,” said Jack.

“If we aren’t-” continued Felix, as he laughed.

“Who will be?” Mark finished, winking into his webcam.

“Only my three knights.”

_____

(A/n): beauty

I have given up on doing them in order. As long as I get them done so I can allow requests again, I’m fine

Model Behavior

Summary: Jack is getting ready to do a photo shoot for Alicia’s friend.  Bitty comes along to keep him company, when Bitty suddenly becomes the model. Jack’s reaction to the photo is… interesting.  A quick little ficlet which takes place during Jack’s senior year.  Also on AO3


Jack hated photo shoots. Absolutely hated them, but Alicia had a favor called in and he found himself in a position of not being able to say no. And so, begrudgingly, Jack Zimmermann was on his way to Boston for a one-day shoot.

“Like an actual shoot shoot?” Bitty asked wide-eyed as he told him about it over some ginger peach pie the evening before.

“Yeah. It’s for some clothing line. They’re going to dress me up like a puppet and then I have to stand there, and smile like an idiot.”

“I dunno, it sounds so fun to me. I’d love to model!” Bitty said then sighed, “Alas, I am vertically challenged.”

“Euh… do you want to come with me?” Jack asked pushing his pie around the plate with his fork.

“Really? And like watch?!” Bitty practically bounced off his seat.

“I guess so, Bittle. Don’t make me take it back.”

“No! I’ll behave. I promise! It’s going to be so much fun.”

+++

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i still have doubts about whether will is actually in love with hannibal ;(

Well nonny you have come to the right place. Because I have no such doubts. I am overwhelmed on a daily basis by just how much Will Graham loves Hannibal Lecter. It’s late and I’m exhausted and I really should be doing this during daylight hours, so please excuse the rambling and caps lock and incoherence. Also, I’m putting most of this below a cut because I have no chill and it’s way too long and gif-heavy for me to inflict upon unsuspecting dashes.

Anyway, come with me nonny on a magical journey back to mid-season 2. Will is all fresh outta prison with his sassy brows and slick new haircut and he is just dead set on Reckoning. He is going to catch that mother fucker and it is going to be GLORIOUS.

There’s only one problem

Will can’t actually bring himself to hate Hannibal. 

Keep reading

youtube

consider this prob one of my only contributions to the ship train i guess, lol (guess it kind of looks that way after going through the video…). its more of me spewing out all my feelings over the last episode and show as a whole lol. i just want them to happy and safe, i don’t care what happens unless they’re safe.

take this amv i whipped up from stressing over working my new job tomorrow asdfeqrfre

My Response to Jashi (Jack and Ashi) being canon.

 Hey guys, it’s yours truly, WILL HERE!!!!!!!!

So today is definitely going to be a controversial post.

I am going to cover the controversial topic of Samurai Jack.

More specifically, Jack and Ashi becoming a canon couple.

So this comes from Samurai Jack, season 5 episode 8 entitled, “XCVI”.

So… I gotta say this first. This reminds me of the whole controversy with Steven Universe’s storyboard artist, Lauren Zuke, getting harassed online for shipping a couple.

So the same comes to here. 

People just outright hate this show all of the sudden because Jack and Ashi becoming an official couple. 

So what are my thoughts on it? I support this ship!!!!!! 

I legitimately do not understand why all of you guys are bashing this show? Seriously?

I know that many people don’t like them being a couple because they wanted a more father-daughter relationship. That is fine!!! 

But if you guys don’t like the ship and you all of the sudden hate the show now, after watching it for many years… then you are not a true fan of the show.

A true fan of the show has likes and dislikes of the show they are watching, but will stand by the creators, cast, etc. no matter what! 


Like for example, I did not like Regular Show’s eighth season, I thought it was stupid. But I am not going to just dislike the whole show just because of one season, I love the earlier seasons and I love the characters.

And all of you “fans” have the balls to say you do not like the ENTIRE SHOW … just because of one episode?! Come one! 

https://twitter.com/robo_friend/status/861222025301557250

I have done some research and I am going to tell you guys some of the notable complaints.

“Samurai Jack is a pedophile!!!”

Okay, here is my response you illiterate haters! Pedophile is defined as “an adult male who is sexually attracted to children.”

So yes, Jack is older than Ashi. But … we have no idea how old Ashi is, maybe mid 20s to early 30s.

Second, Jack is immortal. 

But Ashi is not a child. She is an adult woman who knows a lot of fighting skills, an assassin basically and has been raised by Aku for many years! 

Jack is a samurai who has been immortal for over 100 years, has faced Aku, and many other enemies … alone!!! 

They have been fighting for decades and THEY BOTH love each other! Jack is not a pedophile if Ashi loves him back! 

There are more complaints, but there are many posts regarding this issue! 

Yes, the development of their romance should have been longer, but at least there was development.

Ashi never wanted to date Jack at first, she was told, along with her sisters, to murder him!!! 


(Credit goes to AnimeFan4Ever on Youtube).

So then a few episodes later, “XCV”, Ashi attempted to kill Jack! 

There were also many hints! Like this one from the same episode!


(Credit to Mister Gum on Youtube).

I think from the same episode they saw the two deer kissing, resembling Jack and Ashi kissing.

And Ashi said at one of the episodes, “Are you expecting a kiss?!” 

So this here proves my point that there were hints scattered throughout season 5 and there was development.

This development started because in “XCV” when Ashi was telling Jack that he would die, Jack was confused as to why she would even think that! So he was helping her realize that Aku is not good. So Ashi is a developed character, with interesting and heartbreaking backstory, and can kick anyone’s ass! 

These two have been alone for so long that they grew an attachment to one another and they develop feelings for each other romantically! 

It is called an ARC!!!! 

So yeah! Love has no boundaries! LOVE IS LOVE!!!!

Me and other people support this ship! 

Also! 

There are other examples that show old male characters either dating young female characters or a old male character is shipped with a young female character because of their chemistry together!

Observe! 

That is my take.

*drops mic and leaves*

Quickly : Jack Maynard Smut

(y/n is really close with conor but one night when he’s asleep she goes into the bathroom to find his horny brother)


You and Conor first met on a tinder date. At first you really fancied him, and over the last few months you have both taken it slow but have gotten really close. You have both discussed your commitment issues and Conor totally agrees. You would love to be a in a relationship with Conor, you really would, but you love the freedom of being single. You were a very sexual person and so you have many one night stands. The first time you and Conor had sex was after a night out together – it was such an amazing feeling to finally relieve all of the sexual tension that had been building up between the two of you. Lets just say you honestly struggled to walk the next day.

To be honest, yours and Conor’s relationship was a bit complicated. You were basically together, but sometimes you did get with other people. It did annoy you when Conor had sex with other girls because you did really like him – the jealousy would always bubble through your body yet you couldn’t do anything about it as you also slept with other people.

You both agreed not to kiss anyone in front of each other to rub it in your/his face. Conor always got jealous, too. One time when he caught you kissing a guy at Joe’s party it totally went off – the guy left with a nose bleed.

However, one thing that you really struggled with was Jack fucking Maynard. Conor’s little brother was the most irritating shit you had ever met. He always knew how to get under your skin and how to piss you off. You have no idea why he decided to be a dick to you the moment he met you, but he always has and you’re sure he always will.

It started off with little digs and rude comments that did actually offend you, but as you spent more time with Conor you realised what his brother was actually like. His comments did not offend you nowadays and you would normally tend to say something back – leading to an argument.

Conor normally laughed at your little arguments with Jack, but sometimes when they got too personal he’d have to stop them. Jack knew exactly how to wind you up and you hated it.

You were sat in your London apartment watching some TV when your phone buzzed. It was Conor.

‘What you doing tonight? Xx’

‘I have nothing planned, why? Xx’

‘Wanna come out? Me and the boys xx’

‘Sure xx’

‘Good, get ready and meet us at ours in an hour? Xx’

‘An hour? I cant get ready in an hour!! X’

‘Well hurry then babe ;) xx’

You sighed and put your phone on the side. Walking to your wardrobe, you thought about what you were going to wear tonight. You didn’t even know where you were going – most probably a club.

1 hour and 23 minutes later, you were in an uber on the way to Conor’s. You had chosen to wear a simple black dress. But you were starting to doubt it as it was really tight and showed your chest off a lot. You had to keep pulling it up at the top.

You thanked your driver and stepped out of the car, buzzing the apartment you needed and making your way up. It was quite hard to walk in the shoes you were wearing as they were so high. When you walked in, all the boys were there.

“Hey Y/N!” Joe greeted you as he was the first one to see you.

“Hi!” You replied just as Conor spotted you. The music was up quite loud so it was no surprise that the others didn’t hear you come in.

“About time.” Conor laughed when he reached you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips and wrapping his arms around your waist. His hair was in it’s usual style and Conor was wearing a white t shirt under a black leather jacket along with some black ripped skinny jeans.

“I’m only like 20 minutes too late!” You defended yourself, snaking your arms up around Conor’s neck.

“Mmh whatever.” He hummed and kissed you again. He lightly pushed you up against the front door as the kiss got more intense and that’s when you had to pull away, shooting him a warning look to say not in front of his friends.

“Can we go now? Oh hi Y/N!” Caspar said, sending a small wave to you.

“Hi Casp.” You smiled.

“Right, lets go then.” Conor said quickly before grabbing your hand and opening the door.

“What is up with you?” You asked Conor as you were walking back down the steps of his apartment block.

“Nothing. You just look really good tonight.” He grinned, tightening his grip on your hand.

-

When you all finally got to the club, Jack insisted that everyone does shots. You all sat in the corner around a large table, of course you were next to Conor. Jack arrived to the table with a tray full of shots as everyone cheered and took one.

Throwing your head back, you downed the shot quickly. The alcohol burned your throat and you pulled a disgusted face. Everyone sat at the table for a while, enjoying their drinks.

“I wanna look for some girls.” Jack told everyone as he slammed his empty cup down on the table.

“Of course you do.” You snorted, not thinking he would hear. But when you saw his eyes connect with yours as he pulled an evil look, you knew he had heard you.

“Excuse me?” Jack asked.

“Nothing.” You smiled sarcastically at him. You felt Conor’s hand go to your thigh.

“Didn’t think so, slag.” Jack replied.

“What the fuck did you call me?” You felt yourself getting more and more angry at him as he sat there with a smug look plastered across his face.

“Oh, you didn’t hear me? I called you a slag.”

“Says you?! Jack you have slept with way more people than I have so I don’t really think you’re in a position to call me a slag.” You argued back, taking a sip of your wine.

“All I’m saying is I know a slag when I see one.” He put his hands up, trying to look innocent.

“And all I’m saying is you’re a dick head. Go find a girl then, like you wanted.” You said to him, wanting nothing more than for him to go away.

“I’d rather stay here and piss you off.” He grinned. For a second, you almost smiled back. You hated yourself for it – but you secretly found Jack very attractive, and when he grins at you like this it makes your heart melt a little.

“Right, well you two can stay here and argue but I’m going to have a good time.” Conor announced as he finished his drink.

You hadn’t even noticed, but everyone else had gone to dance. Conor got up, pressed a kiss to your cheek and went to join the others on the dance floor. For some reason, Jack scooted closer to you on the seat.

“Notice how he didn’t even defend you? Because he knows you’re a slag.” Ouch. Jack’s words hurt you a lot, but you wouldn’t let him know that.

“Shut up.” You mumbled, feeling yourself becoming weaker in this argument.

“You know I’m right. It’s why he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend,” Jack came even closer. “He just wants you to stick around so he can have sex on tap.”

“Fuck off, Jack, seriously.” You sighed.

“I’m his brother, so I would know.” He added, placing a hand on your thigh which suddenly made your breathing increase.

“You’re just trying to wind me up. Stop.” You replied, pushing his hand off and turning to try and locate Conor. Your heart dropped when you spotted him, dancing very intimately with a brunette. You quickly looked away, knowing that they’ll be kissing any time soon and you didn’t want to put yourself through that.

“See? He doesn’t fucking want you.” Jack growled, his lips so close to your ear. You felt so fucking hurt, the alcohol and Jack’s words were really getting to you and you hated it.

Suddenly, you felt Jack’s lips against your neck. This is the last thing that you had expected to happen. As he kissed and nipped at your skin with his soft lips, your eyes fluttered closed and you felt yourself biting down onto your bottom lip. This was Conor’s younger brother doing this – and you suddenly felt super guilty when you felt your underwear getting damp.

“Jack,” You breathed. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Jack pulled away from you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. He stared at you for a few seconds with no expression, just blinking. You didn’t know what the hell he was thinking but you weren’t sure if you wanted to know.

“I just came over to say that if I were you two, I wouldn’t be doing that. Conor is just over there.” You looked up to see Joe, drink in his hand and a concerned look on his face.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.” Jack replied as he stood to his feet.

“Just saying.” Joe replied, holding his hands up as though he was defending himself.

-

The night was coming to an end and you all made your way out the uber. After your little incident with Jack, you decided to spend the night with Josh and Joe, downing lots more shots and dancing like idiots. They both made you laugh a lot, helping the fact that Conor was in the corner busy with another girl. Thankfully, Conor climbed into the uber by himself.

“Hey babe.” He slurred, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

You almost wanted to push him away. But you remembered the rules, Conor wasn’t doing anything wrong and you weren’t in a relationship. Jack’s words came back to you, stinging a little. As the uber had to fit all of you in, it was kind of like a mini bus and so you had to sit opposite someone. Unlucky for you, you were sat opposite Jack.

“Had a good night?” Conor asked you, rubbing your thigh.

“Yeah it was alright. You?” You replied, sending him a small smile.

“Really?” Jack snorted, interrupting your conversation with Conor. “Of course he did, did you see him with that girl? Mate, she was a solid nine out of ten!”

As Conor laughed at his brothers words, you felt yourself doubting your relationship with Conor more and more – but that was the thing, you Conor weren’t in a relationship. Maybe it was just Jack messing with you tonight or it was your true feelings coming out because you were drunk. You’ll just have to see how you feel about the situation in the morning.

“Stay over?” Conor asked you as the uber was nearing his, Jack and Josh’s apartment block. “Please?”

“OK.” You agreed.

Even though your head was a mess right now, the chance to have sex with Conor was something you’d never turn down. That boy was amazing in bed, you could not get enough. He laced your fingers together and smiled at you when you agreed.

It was a nice feeling to finally get home (to Conor’s) after the club. You had no idea what the time was and you were still feeling a bit drunk. When you all got inside, you immediately went to Conor’s room and got out of your clothes, throwing on a t shirt of his and leaving your legs bare – his t shirt came down to your mid thighs anyway.

You went and joined the three boys in the living room where they were eating a cold pizza from dinner. Josh and Jack were sat on the sofa and Conor was laying down on the rug, next to the coffee table as he was munching on a slice of pizza.

“Is Conor alright?” You laughed, noticing how drunk he actually was.

“Think he’s had a few too many shots tonight.” Josh replied as you took a slice of pizza.

You looked over at Jack – instantly regretting it. Even though he had his phone up in front of him, as though he was on it, his eyes were on you. He looked up and down your body before his tongue poked out, swiping across his bottom lip.

Not only did this make your cheeks go bright red, but it also sent wondrous feelings straight to your core. You tried to ignore Jack as you all finished up the pizza, just scrolling through your phone and watching the TV.

The time was 2:34 when Conor picked himself up off the floor and announced he was going to bed. You almost sighed at the fact that Conor was clearly too drunk to have sex tonight. You probably should have just gone home instead of agreeing to stay round.

“I’m also going to head. Night you guys.” Josh spoke up and you Jack both replied saying good night to him.

About ten minutes had passed and you had had enough of the tension within the room. You wanted to ask Jack why he kissed your neck earlier, but you had a strong feeling he was just trying to mess with you. With a sigh, you got up and headed off to the bathroom to brush your teeth, leaving Jack alone.

You shut the door of the bathroom, not bothering to lock it as you never did. You decided to quickly style your hair into a single French plait before bed, helping yourself for tomorrow. You wiped all your make up off of your face and quickly cleansed it, using a face scrub that was there.

When you started to brush your teeth, the door flew open, revealing Jack in nothing but his boxers.

“What are you doing? I’m using the bathroom.” You told him, having to take the tooth brush out of your mouth.

“Well, you’re taking too long and I need to brush my teeth too.” He replied.

“You’re so annoying.” You rolled your eyes at him, carrying on brushing your teeth.

However, when Jack leaned over to grab his toothbrush, you felt something hard poke into your ass. Your eyes widened when you came to realisation that Jack had a hard on.

“Jack!” You squealed.

“What? It’s not my fault.” He shrugged.

“Well, it is your fault.” You replied.

“No it’s not.”

He leaned into your again, his hard member poking into your ass once again. It was kind of turning you on a little bit – OK, a lot.

“Stop pressing it into me, seriously.” You warned him.

“You’re the one taking up all the room, I can’t get to the sink.” He pointed out, gesturing to the fact that you were in front of him.

“I was here first!” You defended yourself.  You felt Jack’s hand go to the bottom of the shirt you were wearing, pulling it up a little so that your ass was now on show. “What the fuck?”

“I didn’t mean to do that.” He lied, grinning a little bit as he leaned into you more.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He was teasing you – and it was working.

“Jack, what are you doing?” You turned round so that you were fully facing him now, he looked good. His hair was now messy, his bare chest and stomach was exposed which was possibly the hottest thing you had ever seen and his length was so visible as it was straining against his boxers.

“Nothing, why?” He replied, ignoring the fact that his hard cock was against your ass.

“Can you please get rid of that, or do something!” You groaned.

“How am I supposed to get rid of it? It’s not like I can do anything with you in the room.” He defended.

“At least stop pressing it into me.”

When you turned around, trying to carry on with your teeth, you felt Jack’s hands on your hips.

“Unless you wanna help me out a bit.” He mumbled into your ear.

“Are you serious? You’re Conor’s little brother and he’s literally in the room over there. Don’t be ridiculous.” You replied quickly, even though a huge part of you wanted to say yes – you were aching for him at this point, literally soaked.

“Shame. Would have loved to take you right here against the kitchen sink. So fucking hard for you right now, Y/N…” Jack groaned out, pressing his hard on into you once again.

This was when you almost lost it. His words went straight to your core, and you pressed back into him, hoping to get some friction between your legs. Fucking the little brother of the guy you were seeing was such a hot concept to you, and you were so fucking horny right now.

“Fine!” You gave in, dropping your toothbrush in the sink.

“Fine?” Jack repeated, sending you a questioning look in the mirror.

“You can fuck me quickly.” You clarified, grabbing the sides of your underwear and pulling them down your legs before pulling your – Conor’s – t shirt up.

You put one leg up onto the counter, allowing Jack to have a better access to your soaked pussy. You felt his fingers go your exposed slit, collecting your wetness.

“Fucking hell, see how wet you are for me. You’ve always wanted me to fuck me, haven’t you? You’re so dirty.”

You ignored his words as he pulled his length out of his boxers, pumping himself a little before pushing himself into you. His actions made you hiss at the feeling, trying to get used to his size. Both of his hands went to your bare ass, one of them slapping down onto the exposed skin.

As Jack slammed in and out of you, you couldn’t help but watch the scene unfold in the mirror in front of you. Jack’s eyes were screwed shut and he was biting down onto his bottom lip. What a sight.

The fact that you were in the bathroom, being fucked by his little brother than actually laying in bed with Conor right now made you feel a bit guilty. But the pleasure was too good for you to care right now.

Going on birth control was one of the best things that you had decided to do as the feeling of Jack’s bare cock against your skin was amazing. He started to hit your g-spot with every thrust and you had to refrain from moaning out. His grip on your ass was getting tighter and tighter but it felt good.

You gripped onto the sides of the sink as Jack roughly thrusted in and out of your soaked pussy. You copied Jack, biting down onto your lip to try and stop yourself from moaning. When the pleasure got too intense, you felt yourself draw blood from your own lip.

“Y/N, babyyyyy…” Jack moaned, keeping a good rhythm with his hips as he fucked you from behind.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet.

You felt one of Jack’s hands creep up your t shirt and take one of your breasts in his hand, squeezing before roughly massaging. This only added to the pleasure and you loved the feeling of Jack touching your body. He knew exactly how to handle a woman and it only excited you more. For a second you found yourself wishing that it was Jack you went on that first tinder date with a not Conor.

You didn’t think the sex could feel any better until Jack’s hand left your chest and went to your clit, rubbing his fingers over the skin at an impressive pace. This was when you really struggled to stay quiet.

“Fuck, Jack, oh…” You moaned quietly, even though you really wanted to scream out his name so everyone could hear.

“Conor could never fuck you as good as this, could he?” Jack asked. When you didn’t reply, his hand slapped your ass again before repeating himself, “Could he?”

“N-no.” You stuttered out, your whole body moving with Jack’s as he picked up the pace.

“Baby I’m-.”

Jack calling you baby honestly made your heart melt. You knew exactly what he was going to say as you felt his thrusts getting sloppy before you felt a warm liquid running down the back of your leg. He continued to move in and out of you a few more times, patiently waiting for you to finish.

As Jack continued to work faster on your clit, you felt yourself high your high as your orgasm washed over you. Keeping your mouth shut, you let out a small cry as it was the most intense orgasm a man has ever given you.

“Oh my god, Jack.” You breathed out when he pulled out of you.

You turned around so you were now facing him again. His eyes looked tired and his cheeks were flushed red.

“Thank you.” He said to you as he tried to catch his breath.

You smiled before stepping towards him and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Jack’s eyes fluttered closed and savoured this moment with you. You felt your stomach do flips as Jack wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the kiss. And that’s when you knew which Maynard you really wanted to be with.

I’m speechless after this video. I literally have nothing to say. Jack seemed to say all the words that were going through my head. I would just be quoting a lot of what he said in this video if I tried to share my own thoughts right now.

The one thing I will say is, this inspires me so much, to see Jack make a video, talking about some really serious stuff he normally would never talk about in videos, but this was a special cause, because it was someone who means a great deal to him. People can disagree with what Jack said in this video, or completely agree with it, or have no opinions on the matter, whatever.

Felix’s joke may have been bad, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. We all have accidentally said something that could be taken out of context, but in Felix’s case, this is a lot more serious, just because of how popular he is. But we all make some REALLY bad mistakes sometimes, no one can honestly say they never have, but please show respect towards him. Show some humanity. It really brings me down, seeing how people hear someone say something really bad as a joke, even if that person know they shouldn’t be doing that, but that doesn’t mean the other person has to pretend they don’t know it’s a joke, just because they wanna start some shit, and spread pointless negativity.

I believe Jack when he says Felix is a good person, he has a really good judge of character I think. And from what I’ve seen, I think he’s a great person as well, he has a good heart. He just made one really bad, stupid, mistake…as we all have. I just hope humanity has enough of a heart and soul left to forgive him for that mistake. Anyway, I don’t wanna go on forever, I haven’t been keeping up with what’s going on with the whole thing, but I am aware of the things Jack was talking about in this video, and that’s about it. So please, don’t hate on me too harshly, I was just sharing the thoughts Jack got stirring around in my head.

anonymous asked:

Ok so so ok. I Adore your nurseydex fics. Can i maybe possibly request a fic? Maaaaaybe one where they try to work out living together without the team finding out that they're dating maybe? Its chill sauce if you aren't taking prompts rn or anything don't stress it starshine

a/n: Sorry this took so long and that it’s less than amazing. 

With a sigh of relief that he was finally (FINALLY) back at the Haus after a long day of classes, Dex quickly made his way through the door, hoping to slip up the stairs unnoticed. He wasn’t in the sort of mood to run into anyone. He just wanted to get comfortable and maybe cuddle with his boyfriend.

Of course, that meant that he was stopped precisely four steps into the Haus by an aggressively cheerful Bitty, bearing a plate piled high with sandwiches. Dex wanted to hit himself for forgetting that he had texted Bitty earlier to complain that he had forgotten his bagged lunch on the kitchen counter (because yes, shut up, he took bagged lunches… his class schedule didn’t give him enough time to buy food on campus). And, because he was that sort of friend, Bitty promised to have lunch waiting for Dex when he got done for the day.

Dex didn’t want to have lunch with Bitty, even if he made the best sandwiches, bar none. He just wanted to lay with Nursey and get his hair played with and maybe get off. He couldn’t tell Bitty any of that, though, so Dex gave his captain a tight smile and followed him into the living room.

“Just a heads up, Dex, Nursey is already here. Gotta fuel up before whatever fight y'all are gonna have today.”

We’re not going to fight!, Dex wanted to yell. We’ve been going out for six months and none of you bothered to notice.

He didn’t though. Instead, he grabbed a sandwich of the top of the pile and shoved it in his mouth, then grimaced. Apparently that was Bitty’s stack, because it had more mustard than meat. Dex tried not to gag when he set it back down on the plate and grabbed a new one.

Bitty spent the next 20 minutes sending concerned looks his way that Dex pretended he didn’t see. That would mean having a conversation, which meant not getting to go upstairs, the exact opposite of what he wanted. So, he made sure to have food in his mouth at all times, and got up immediately when he was done eating.

He threw a casual “Thanks for lunch” over his shoulder as he bound up the stairs.

Nursey had their bedroom door propped open with the stupid unicorn like he usually did. They both hated the thing, but Nursey refused to admit it. Dex kicked it out of the way a little harder than necessary (he wanted it gone more than he wanted to win the standoff about it, and that was saying something).

Nursey was laying on the top bunk, something they started doing when they realized it was easier to hide that they were laying together if anyone barged in. Dex hated it. He hated that it was necessary. He threw his bag on the floor, not watching where it landed, and rolled onto the bottom bunk. He kicked he flimsy mattress above him a few times with his socked feet.

“come down here, asshole.”

Practically, there was no difference between laying together on the top bunk or the bottom bunk. They were both too small and too lumpy. They both knew there was no reason for Nursey to switch beds. Nursey didn’t point any of that out, though. Instead, he rolled off the top bunk and lumbered into the bottom to join Dex.

As soon as he seemed comfortable, Dex clung to him like a limpet. Nursey, the saint, didn’t say anything about that, either. He just let Dex wrap around him as he slipped a hand into curly red hair. The tension that had been building between Dex’s shoulders eased the tiniest bit.

They laid there for a while, Nursey’s hands running through Dex’s hair while Dex tried to put his feelings into words. It was something he was working on, processing his emotions instead of just reacting to them. Mostly he sucked at it, but he was trying. For Nursey (the woman at the counselling center said he should be trying for himself, but Dex was still having a hard time believing he was worth that effort… but he could do it for Nursey).

Once he felt like he had his thoughts somewhat gathered, he asked, “Why haven’t we told the team we’re dating?”

Nursey tried to pull back enough to see Dex’s face, but the bunk was too small. He settled for holding on to him tighter, instead.

“Well, Ransom and Holster said it would be easier this way, and you thought it would be a good idea, so we agreed.”

Which was true. Right before summer started, after Lardo had moved her things out and Dex and Nursey were moving their things in, Holster had walked in on them making out in the mostly empty bedroom. Dex expected him to go yelling it through the Haus, but instead, he sat them down and told them about him and Ransom. Except…

“Everyone knew they were together, though. They weren’t really hiding anything. And they thought that the team wouldn’t understand the whole them and March and April thing. I mean, look how happy Bitty is now that everyone knows about him and Jack.”

This time, Nursey did pull away enough to look at Dex, and ended up half-off the bunk because of it. He had a little smirk and a glimmer in his eye. “You wanna tell everyone about us?”

“Well, maybe. Yeah. I do.”

Nursey’s smirk turned into a wide smile.”Awww, you like me.”

“Whatever, don’t go that far. You just don’t annoy me enough to pretend I hate you around everyone else.”

Nursey rolled his eyes, but pulled Dex in for a sloppy kiss anyway. For Dex, that was practically a love confession. But that could come later. So could telling everyone.

Dex tried to deepen the kiss, but they ended up rolling straight off the bed, instead. They landed with a thump. Seconds later, a shout came from downstairs. “If I have to separate you, it’s on y'all’s head, you hear?”

They both laughed until they couldn’t anymore, then kissed until it turned into something else entirely.

baker family hcs if eveline didnt take them over pt 1

because they are pure and i want them to be happy

Jack Baker
- he would probably be the guy who makes dad jokes
- “ya know why the sun doesn’t have to go to college??”
“dad no”
“cause it already has 28 million degrees!”
“dad oml”
- he scares Lucas’s friends a lot for shits in giggles
- probably gets his axe and say “here’s jacky!!”
- while his friends are screaming and Jack is laughing so fuckin hard and Lucas is just like “dad please only I’m allowed to do this stop”
- he loves marguriete’s cooking! he likes her pancakes
- honestly he loves his wife so much asdfghjkl
- he hates his house
- it’s so fucking big he just wants to go to the bathroom
- ??? y u hate mansion Jack?
- if he ever got a daughter he would spoil her so hardd
- “jack ur spoiling her too much”
“marguriete she is precious”
“oml Jack”
- probably picks up his wife a lot
- then picks up lucas
- and just marches around the kitchen
- Lucas being like “dad let me go!!” and marguriete “jack!!” while laughing
- TL;DR: he’s basically a fucking dad
- when he firsts meet Ethan and Mia, he’s like
- “oml Zoe has friends??” ( let’s pretend in this au, Zoe made friends with Ethan and Mia )
- he shows them his fake props to scare his son and his friends
- ( he would never scare marguriete too hard, hell just sneak up behind her )
- “y u torture ur son and his friends??” “it’s very funny to see them scared, it’ll never cease to please me”
- he lets Ethan and Mia join one of his scare pranks and once they’re done they’re just laughing while Lucas wants to d i e
- oml Jack likes cooking??
- yes he likes cooking and its fucking great
- it’s a lil burnt but that’s fine
- u can say anything to him but say anything about his family or Ethan and Mia and ull be seeing a lot of aggressive verbal yelling
- but in all seriousness Jack is a man who should never actually hurt anyone even if he was force to because he’s just a sweet old man he doesn’t want to hurt anyone violence gets u no where in life
- he forgets rooms exists sometimes
- “oh damn there’s a basement??? and a safe house?? marguriete did u know this??”
“yes dear, u just forgot about them.”
“ohhh….OMG THERES A CAVE MARGURIETE”
“it’s not a cave sweetheart it’s a runaway tunnel just in case
if dangerous people came”

oh man there’s so much more but tbh that’ll be too much so see ya!!

Next: Marguriete Baker!

anonymous asked:

idk borderlands 2 but your undying hate for this guy is simultaneously hilarious and incredible.

I actually love Handsome Jack, he’s a great and complex character and an excellent antagonist, but people just fucking stan him and go “he can do no wrong he’s the hero of the story let’s ship him with the protags uwu” and it drives me crazy. I can make a list of shitty things he’s done right off the top of my head.

  • enslaved his daughter and turned her into an instrument of destruction
  • guilt trips your ass about you being a “child killer” when you saved his daughter from him
    • yeah, you ended up killing Angel, but she said so herself that she died a long time ago because of him
  • tries to kill you in the fucking intro of borderlands 2
    • and will continue to do so until and even after he’s fucking dead
  • gives you a quest to jump off a cliff for money, says if you do it, you’ll forever be his bitch, no matter what happens
    • if you call the suicide hotline, he calls you a weak pussy or smthn i don’t remember
    • it’s one of his funnier moments but he literally pays you to off yourself
  • tries to “bring order” to pandora (the planet ur on) by killing all the bandits
    • which is the majority of the planet
    • he wants to mass genocide the planet
  • he kills innocent civilians all the fucking time, either by guns or by not giving them any fucking medicine
  • hates when people swears, but swears constantly
  • fucking kills roland, the badass black dude that was the leader of the resistance against handsome jack
    • it’s always the fuckign black dude that dies, isn’t it
  • kills bloodwing (mordecai’s [a cool dude] bird) after enslaving it, mutating it, and making it kill you. it dies from the bombs handsome jack put into it’s fucking neck
    • he does inhumane experiments on animals on a daily basis
  • has you kill the bandits he hired to kill his grandma so he doesn’t have to pay them
  • enslaves roland’s gf lilith after angel dies, right after he kills roland.
    • he then tries to make lilith fucking kill you
  • boasts about killing roland, the leader of the resistance that had so much experience in battle
    • handsome jack killed roland by shooting him in the back while roland was talking to you.
    • that was a bitch kill jack and u know it
  • literally the only reason why borderlands 2 exists is because handsome jack is a fucking fascist asshole

and that’s just the shit he’s done in borderlands 2, that’s not even talking about tales from the borderlands where he fucking abuses and tries to kill the person he’s most shipped with.

but yeah sure let’s ship rhack and put it in every tag relating to borderlands because yeah, let’s spread this abuse love story around.

so yeah i’m a little pissed off about handsome jack. which is a shame because he’s such a funny character.

and to anyone jack sympathizers that tell me to stop hating: some people??? hate on handsome jack??? to cope???