Started reading Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles again. And I’ve picked up my yoga magazines again.
And it got me to thinking.
What is the difference between me when I had lost all my weight in 2014 and now when I’m back at where I started?
* Weight/size of clothes
* Level of fitness (endurance & flexibility)
* how I feel about myself.
Then I started to ask myself - what change affects my general life more?
Weight/size? Aside from not being comfortable in some clothes… no not really.
Level of fitness? A little. I can’t easily do some things (like keep up to my husband while he’s in a hurray) but I can still do all my farm, house and family things easy enough.
How I feel about myself? Back then, I was so proud of myself. I was positive and just happy. Now? I’m back to being anxiety ridden and everything feels like it’s a shot at me right in the gut. (Attention attention- nobody is out to get you and nobody hates you). I don’t feel the same way about myself as I did. And it makes me very self conscious and it affects everyone around me.
So what’s more important to focus on? Losing weight? Getting physically stronger? Or learning to be that person mentally - full of self love and confidence in every aspect of life?
Was kind of an aha moment today.
No more stressing about clothes or what I will wear on our beach vacation this winter or feeling guilty or shameful because I can’t run a 5k in 35 minutes NY more or that a 30 minute yoga session now leaves me sweaty and out of breath.