“He’s so perfect! Just look at him, my precious little baby boy! So talented! I love him”

-me talking about a bunch of 30+ year old guys.

Me: *looks at favourite band member doing something stupid, with a huge grin on my face*
Me: *softly* look at this stupid idiot. I hate him. He’s so dumb. He’s a child in a man’s body. He’s five. He’s the worst.