Jack is a fae prince struggling with a bad break up and anxiety, and the pressure to live up to his sidhe parents (who are less terrifying than most sidhe because bad bob and alicia…) and he slips into the human realm for a break.
He sees Bitty who is dealing with people being shite to him, and he is Confused by this small human? But attemps to comfort Bitty before he has to leave.
But oops Bitty follows him. And Jack is like what why no this is a Bad Idea™ and tries to shoo Bitty off. But Bitty’s all determined so Jack’s just like fine but Do Not Eat Anything.
Kent shows up and Jack feels extra awful after their confrontation, so Bitty starts to comfort him and one thing leads to another and they make out and Bitty ends up going down on him.
He spits out most of it but not all? And Jack thinks they’re fine, and he escorts Bitty home and Bitty knows he’ll never see Jack again which is sad, but he’s happy he could help cheer Jack up a little.
Unfortunately neither of them realise that it still counts, until his dad is like haha son got yourself a human pet, eh? So Bitty has to return and stay for like one month out of the year based on the amount he swallowed.
Jack freaks out and thinks Bitty’s going to resent him, but instead he just shows up for his month and bakes pies and charms the hell out of Bob and Alicia and literally the whole of the fae kingdom, and Jack slowly starts to fall In Love™
But he’s Jack so he’s so sure Bitty is just hiding his true feelings, and is upset because this is going to happen the rest of his life.
Only Bitty keeps coming back happily because the human world is garbage and everyone he tries to date is Awful and he is just so in love with Jack. But he doesn’t think Jack would ever want him because he’s human and Jack is destined to rule all the fae.
Because can these boys ever just properly communicate right away? No. They can’t.
Jack finally convinces his dad to reverse the magic because he doesn’t want Bitty to feel enslaved.
Bob is like, Jack…you’re obvious, Bitty’s obvious. His name is Bitty he’s practically Fae already just look at this boy. I can set him free, but I can also turn him fae, what do you want?
And Jack is like…set him free.
So Bob does. Jack catches up with Bitty as Bitty’s getting ready to leave and breaks the spell and tells Bitty he never has to come back. Bitty is hurt but understands and thanks him and is crying but he leaves.
And Bob is like…”unbelievable.” Then shows Jack an image of Bitty crying and singing Halo and Jack just…
And flies through the portal, and kisses Bitty, and tells Bitty he wants to be with him forever. Bitty can become Fae. Or Jack can become human, it doesn’t matter.
Bitty can’t decide, so Jack lives with him for a while on Earth, then when Bitty realises one human life is not enough, he chooses to be Fae and they go have a great big fae wedding and Bitty gives up his humanity and they’re happy forever.
(Oh and Kent probably meets Alexei at some point and gets over Jack and stops being a dick because my mission in life is to see Kent happy too).
So yeah this AU should probably happen at some point. IDK.