j. moriarty

PERFECT COMEBACKS(INSULTS TO SAY TO YOUR ENEMIES) FOR SHERLOCK FANDOM
  1. “I’m just looking in my mind palace for a fuck to give.”
  2. “Do you need a shock blanket?”
  3. “I’m not a psychopath. I’m a high-functioning sociopath, do your research.”
  4. “Dear god, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.”
  5. “Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the entire street.”
  6. *Sighs* “You ordinary people fill your heads with all kinds of rubbish.”
  7. “You’re ordinary…”
  8. “I know I should respect you but I find it difficult because you’re an idiot.”
  9. “Problem?”
  10. “Shut up.” “I wasn’t saying anyth-” “You were thinking. It’s annoying.”
  11. “No disrespect but clearly you were born in the 80’s.”
  12. “Get out. I need to go to my mind palace.”
  13. “I dislike being outnumbered it makes for too much stupid in the room.”
  14. “You just don’t observe.”
  15. “Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.”
  16. (When someone tells you you have no heart) “Yes. I have been reliably informed that I don’t have a heart. Thank you.”
  17. “DOOFUS!”
  18. “Now we both know that’s not quite true.”
  19. “You can’t be allowed to continue. You just can’t.”
  20. “You’re spectacularly ignorant.”
  21. “I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.”
  22. “Alright. Spock. Just take it easy.”
  23. “Have you been reliably informed that  you don’t have a heart?”
  24. “No one could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.”
  25. “You don’t understand do you?”……“You still don’t understand do you?”
  26. “I can’t even bother to answer.”
  27. “Why can’t people just think? Why can't you just think?”
  28. (When someone tells you 'that’s against the rules’)“WELL THEN THE RULES ARE WRONG!”
  29. “You ordinary people are adorable.”
  30. “Wrong.”

anonymous asked:

something like you meet Jim without know who is he and he is super egocentric but cute at the same time ? 😂 Love your account ❤

Originally posted by sebhanx99

Reader x Jim Moriarty

“Hello, love.”

You looked up from your laptop to find a man pulling out the chair opposite of yours and sitting down at your table.

“Can I help you?” You asked, ever so slightly lowering your laptop screen.

The man unbuttoned his suit jacket and ran his fingers through his light brown hair, laughing ever so slightly. “Adorable.”

You stared at the stranger warily. “Who are you?”

The stranger’s smile fell, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You mean you really don’t know?”

“Know what?” You asked.

“Who I am.” He stared at you in amazement.

“No,” You muttered sarcastically. “No, I don’t usually know the names of strangers that sit down at my table unannounced.”

“But everyone knows who I am.” The man muttered in disbelief and a hint of disappointment.

You rolled your eyes and lifted the screen of your laptop back up. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“J,M.” He told you.

“N, O, P?” You finished his sentenced.

“They’re my initials.” He groaned, placing his head on the table. “J, M. Jim Moriarty.”

“That’s an odd name.” You shrugged.

Jim lifted his head off of the table. “Ohhh, I see. You want to play a game with me.”

“No,” You told him shaking your head. “No, I want to drink my coffee.” You held your mug up and shot him a sarcastic smile.

“Coffee’s boring.” He drawled on, resting his head in his hand. “What do you say we do something else? Hmm. How about dinner tonight at seven.”

“I can’t.” You told him, half-happy you had an excuse and half-disappointed. “I have to finish my research paper.

“On what?” He asked.

“The Crown Jewels.” You sighed.

A mischievous grin replaced his tired smile. “You know I can help with that.”

“You can?” You raised an eyebrow, taking your eyes off of your screen.

“Absolutely.” He grabbed your napkin. “I’d be more than happy to help you, if you come to dinner with me that is.”

Jim stood up and handed you back your napkin with his number neatly printed on it. “You know where to find me, love. That is, you know where to find the one and only Jim Moriarty.”

With that, he walked away, leaving you with a tough decision to make.

~

Tagged as requested: @marvel-is-my-life2099, @allheart36

The Mambo No. 5

A little bit of Kai in my life

A little bit of Moriarty by my side

A little bit of Hannibal’s what I need

A little bit of Voldemort’s what I see

A little bit of Mr. J in the sun

A little bit of Klaus all night long

A little bit of Loki here I am

A little bit of a psychopathic side makes me your fan.

Originally posted by batwarriordiet

@prunif m’a tagué et j’ai sauté sur l’occasion pour abandonner mes révisions de mathématiques. Voilà donc !
J’ai énormément de personnages favoris et je vais surement regretter d’en avoir oublié plein après avoir fini ce tag mais tant pis. J’ai pas respecté d’odre particulier.

Rules: List ten of your favorite characters from ten different fandoms and tag ten others.

  • Mettaton - Undertale
    Et oui, je fais partie de cet insupportable fandom, terrible vérité.

Originally posted by yibbly

  • Dick Grayson - DC Comics
    Ou l’homme de ma vie depuis que j’ai 12 ans.

Originally posted by midnight-cobra-blog

  • Mycroft Holmes - Sherlock BBC
    Tellement de swag en cet homme, un film avec juste lui et Moriarty et j’suis au paradis.

Originally posted by letsdiscussaboutsherlock

  • Norvège - Axis Power Hetalia
    Ou le fandom qui a eu un impact tellement énorme sur ma vie parfois j’ai honte.

Originally posted by burrito-chan

  • Nico Di Angelo - Percy Jackson Serie
    PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL WE MUST PROTECT AT ALL COST

Originally posted by brunegonda

  • Ja’far - Magi! The labyrinth of Magic
    Il est si chou et si badass en même temps je l’aime d’amour.

Originally posted by zlor123

  • Henry - Fire Emblem
    Tout le monde devrait jouer à ce jeu rien que pour lui.
  • Lust - Full Metal Alchemist ( 2003 )
    Je suis fan des deux séries mais ayant regardé celle de 2003 en premier, elle reste ma préférée. Dedans Lust a un character development de fou.

Originally posted by 0ci0

  • Xerxès Break - Pandora Hearts
    Never forget que j’ai tous les mangas chez moi et que même s’il est devenu chiant sur la fin il est quand même grave cool.

Originally posted by yakumocchi

  • Loki Laufeyson - MCU
    Plein de raisons qui font que j’suis in love de tous les Lokis qu’on me présente.

Originally posted by lulurandomness

j-moriarty:

joeshmo:

shavingryansprivates:

romeo romeo

where the f*** is you, romeo

F*** you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is “Wherefore art thou”. And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of f***ing a**hole, you’d know that wherefore does NOT F***ING MEAN “WHERE”, WHEREFORE MEANS “WHY”.

SHE’S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. F*** ALL OF YOU. F*** ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS F***.

romeo romeo

why the f*** is you romeo