At panel, Tyra has some important advice for Courtney to become more model-esque: start doing everything “fiercely.” That includes eating cereal, brushing her teeth (which is obviously a not-so-subtle reminder to fucking brush her teeth in general after her confession the week before about going long periods of time without brushing), and - who knows where Tyra thinks up these things - going “number one.”
The highlight of the whole damn episode is Miss J acting out fierce bathroom poses. I like the elegance of Miss J’s urination stance, followed by the effort of his crapping crouch. So toilet couture!
Beyond having to watch Miss J pantomime pooping, this week’s been hard on Courtney, beginning with her trying to sleep outside in the cold to avoid her roommates. Mikey says:
Yeah, don’t feel that unwanted, Courtney! Feel the exact amount of unwanted that Mikey is comfortable inflicting on you!
In all honesty, though, I’m starting to understand what Mikey meant when he called Courtney “weak.” That’s not to say he’s any less of an asshole for treating her that way, but I can see myself getting sick of Courtney’s theatrics pretty fast, too.
She pities herself. She doesn’t follow instructions on set. She’s constantly sick from not eating. She moans about how Mikey led her on before dropping her for Ashley when, if you’ll recall, she’s the one who has a boyfriend back home. It’s probably these unrequited feelings that provoke Courtney to try to throw Mikey under the bus.
One night, Courtney sits next to Mikey and Devin as they discuss how they can’t wait for a new “Best Photo” to replace Ava’s current one on the wall. It’s obnoxious, competitive shit talking, but there’s nothing personal about their comments. Courtney, however, decides to take it personal on Ava’s behalf and runs up to our Bible study friend to misconstrue the situation.
This sets Ava off and, for the record, she’s never been funnier. She cries. She demands apologies from people, then refuses to let them speak to her. She tells Mikey if he’s going to say mean things about her, to save them for the confessional because… that makes them less mean? I dunno, some Christians have a weird relationship with confessionals I guess. On a rational level, Ava seems to understand the situation is one big misunderstanding, but she’s still pissed that this incident has compromised her time in the Tyra Suite.
Shame on the rest of the models for trying to ruin Ava’s hard-earned stay in a room of life-size Tyra portraits. Girl, you deserve it!
Meanwhile, Courtney knows she’s been caught as an instigator, so she pulls a Marvin by sobbing in the shower. Nyle, unable to hear how the drama unfolded and realize that she pretty much did this to herself, goes to comfort her. He asks if there’s anywhere else she’d rather be.
Nope, like most thirsty Top Model fans, she can think of no place better than resting her head against Nyle’s hairy chest. Elsewhere, the other contestants decide they’re pretty much done with Courtney.
The next day at the photoshoot, Courtney approaches Ava and says that it looks like they’re both the “outcasts” now. Courtney might be a quick study - she seems to be replicating Mikey’s strategy of emotionally manipulating one of the weaker people to make her dependent on her. Unfortunately for Courtney, Ava calmed down after getting a good night’s sleep next to, like, twelve Tyras, and she isn’t about to ostracize herself.
“Everybody’s been nice to me.” Haha, that’s shady, but as good a way as any to let Courtney know she’s not going to be flushing all her relationships in the house down the toilet. But if she were to choose to flush that toilet, best believe she’d do it FIERCELY.
“This Venatori leader, Calpernia, is paying a fortune for our best and brightest stock, delivered to her personally. Don’t ask me why. One thing: don’t send any with brands or whip marks. We had a couple branded slaves in the last shipment; her people sent the couriers back with burns on their faces.Strange tick for a Magister, but her gold’s good enough.”
Jin: Hello, what’s your name? How old are you? Where did you come from? Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you food? Are you tired? Would you like to take a nap with appa? Do you wanna go play somewhere? Omgomgomgomgomg it’s so cute!!!!!!!!11111
Suga: listen here, I’m gonna make you the most swagged out baby anybody has ever seen okay? Just repeat after me *ahem* YEAH. UH. YO. CHECK IT. SWEG. YEEEEEE. YOLO. WASSUP.
J-Hope: omfg it pooped it’s pants ahahahaAHAHAHAHAHA wait am I supposed to do something about it?
Rap Mon: *shuffles awkwardly toward a corner*
Jimin: aww it’s so cute~ (not as cute as jungkook tho) do you wanna look at muscles? Too bad you can’t touch cause they belong to jungkook
V: *has a staring contest with the baby* hello friend.
Jungkook: omg we’re like the same age lol hahaha what’s up, wanna go cause some mischief?