danisnotonfire’s Diss Track
A month without uploading, he comes back with a tag,
That no-one even tagged him in, he’s not a challenge to drag,
So prepare for an attack, and by that I mean cringe,
‘Cause this motherfucker’s about to get dragged by his fringe.
First things first you’re freakishly tall, it’s weird you look like a noodle,
You’ve got hair that was cool in 2007, and wet you just look like a poodle, (Hobbit!)
Throw in a really annoying posh voice and, yup that’s Dan,
You’re what would happen if Winnie the Pooh fucked Slenderman.
You procrastinate making videos, ‘cause being judged is scary,
You’re so close to being forgotten, the hate’s imaginary!
The only reason you get views, is you’re another white guy,
That people ship with his friend, ‘cause they think it’s kawaii! (Oh?)
Reasons Why Dan’s A Fail (Yay)
Ill give you some.
You never tweet, you overeat, all you do is cry and sleep,
Your jokes are shitposts and memes with no originality,
Your family’s sad you flopped your law degree at University,
And anything embarrassing from you past you just delete.
You were Vegan for like three weeks, then what? You missed the meat?
Wow I’m so impressed by your clear moral integrity,
You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic,
But you cant make toast without tumblr saying your problematic.
I could go on, there’s more if i check,
There’s more things on this list, than chins on your neck!
On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death,
A hundred? Yeah, when getting out of bed makes you out of breath?
So your celebrity crush was J-Law, but now its Evan P?
What the fuck even is your sexuality?
It’s hard to put you in a box, when you keep it so blurry,
I think its just to hide that you’re secretly a furry.
I’m joking. Obviously.
Okay that went deep.
Repress it? Yup!
Before I start crying, let’s wrap this shit up.
I’m gonna go and masturbate, then cry into a slice of pizza (Feelings)
Shout out to the other YouTubers, especially Ryan Higa,
A cringe compilation mixed with cultural appropriation,
Met with no depreciation, it’s the YouTube nation.