j cole fans

anonymous asked:

Please, we want the memey s/o, we're begging you, this is what we really want


  • It’s honestly a mystery how the two of you met in the first place. 2D doesn’t get your humor at all, and wonders why the fuck you always send him strange pictures and videos instead of actual words.
  • Most of your conversations look something like this:
  • SOME pictures and videos he finds funny, but it’s very rare that he actually laughs at the weird shit you send him.
  • He tries to make you laugh too, but the memes that he sends are so fucking crusty, you have a stroke every time he sends them.
  • The only person that gets your humor is Noodle and the two of you bond together whenever she tags along to some of your outings with 2D. 
  • Sometimes you scare him with some of the bass boosted videos you send him, especially if you’re texting him at night and he opens one. It takes like 10 years off his life and he usually flings his phone onto the floor, cracking the screen.
  • He catches you bopping to some songs on your headphones and he’s curious as to what you’re listening to. When you place the headphones on his ears, he stares at you in amazement and confusion as he asks you how you could listen to something like this:
  • He doesn’t question it. 
  • He doesn’t question anything.
  • You scare the shit out of Murdoc especially, waking him up in the morning with the entire discography of J Cole, which sends him into a coma because it’s that bad. sorry j cole fans if you exist
  • 2D eventually gets tired of your bullshit one day and just dumps you straight up, except he sends this meme:
  • You thought he finally was understanding your humor at first but he never responds after sending that. 
  • You go to visit him, but you’re detained by the police upon arriving to his house.
  • You never meme again.


Fifty eight


Things with Cayden were better but not 100 percent back to normal. We were talking and all that, but I got the vibe it was a fragile peace agreement. I brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth then went into the bedroom. Cay was stripping off his shirt. I went to take off the extra pillows ready to sleep. It was safe to say nothing else would be happening in this bed for the night, nothing had for several days. At least we talked now, and we t about our lives somewhat normally. But we were both still hurting deep down.

“So,” I started. He looked at me. “I think we better have that conversation soon.”

“Yeah,” he said simply. I paused. I hated when he one word answered me, especially when his face and voice were so emotionless. I think because him ignoring me had led to my mental break he felt guilty to be outwardly mad but he was still upset with me.

“There something you wanna ask me Cay?” I said finally. I was sick of whatever was in the air and feeling resented.

“Yeah,” he repeated, “there is.”

“Ok…” I said, sitting on the bed. I mentally prepared for whatever he was gonna say to me. That I was horrible, cold, selfish, whatever choice words. But that didn’t come.

“Why would you go to Cole not me if you thought you was pregnant?” He asked. I went totally red, completely caught off guard. I fumbled for something to say to defend myself. “I’m not mad, just curious,” he said. I licked my lips. I’d have to kill Cole later.

“I was scared,” I said.

“You couldn’t come to me?” He asked. I felt debilitated by guilt.

“I knew you wouldn’t get it… you’d be excited, and i…wasn’t there, I was terrified,” I explained. I was confused because he didn’t seem mad but I thought he would be.

“Aight,” he said. He climbed into the bed. I paused, not sure whether to get in or not. “We can talk tomorrow with Cole there. Maybe that’ll help us not blow up like we usually do.”

“Okay,” I agreed. He pulled the blankets up and closed his eyes so I proceeded to get in my own side. I grabbed my phone off the dresser first to text Cole.

To Colebear: fuck you

I locked my phone but it lit up with a message right away.

From Colebear: I didn’t tell him to hurt you, I thought it would help. He needed to know.

I kissed my teeth and put my phone down angrily. I glanced over at Cayden and glared. Then I turned the light off and slid into the blankets.

I had to go to work in the morning to oversee a shipment that we had been expecting for weeks. Cayden had his own business to attend to as well so we agreed to go to discuss our issues over dinner. Cole had really invited himself against my will but I couldn’t really say anything about it to Cayden or I would look like I’m not trying to solve our problems.

“I’ll see you tonight then?” I said, sitting in my car. Cayden was slowly going to his own car.

“Aight, I’ll let you know when I’m back” he said. I nodded and he strolled off. I turned my ignition on and pulled out the drive way.


Randi came in to work around lunch while I was working on some ladies weave. I was feeling salty because I was pretty sure Cayden had intervened in my relationship with Jermaine because he had suddenly ghosted me after telling me some dudes mugged him a couple weeks back. I wanted to ask Randi if her nigga was involved because that was his style and he had made it obvious he didn’t like him, but I didn’t wanna start a scene at work.

“Hey China,” she said, coming to kiss my cheek. I gave a small smile. Then I saw her face which was looking down, and I felt bad. I knew she had a lot going on.

“Hey girl. How you doing?” I asked, looking her over. She looked put together but I knew her, something was up.

“I’m alright,” she said, going to the reception desk. I left the lady’s hair to go to the desk and she gave me a dirty look but I gave one back.

“I just need 5 minutes girl,” I said. Randi gave me a ‘really’ look.  "So what’s up?“

"Same shit,” she said, sitting in the chair. I knew her and Cayden had been in some disagreement but I thought it was over and they’d made up a few days ago.

“Still? I thought yall talking now,” I said.

“We are, but we both still feeling some type of way. We supposed to talk tonight, about everything. We’ll see how that goes,” she gave a slight laugh.

“Yall gon be alright. You have to be, if you guys can’t make it work there’s no hope for the rest of us,” I said. She rolled her eyes. “Yall relationship goals and what not.”

“Girl I wish. It’s not everyday lovey dovey,” she shook her head. I nodded understanding. I paused, seeing the opportunity to bring up my original issue.

“Talking about relationships,” I started. She nodded, resting her elbows on the desk. “You know me and Jermaine are….complicated.”
She made a face. I knew she didn’t like him, just because we had gotten into it a few times…

“That’s one word for it,” she mumbled. “But that’s your business,” she said.

“Well, he not talking to me anymore,” I said. She paused.

“Oh. That’s weird,” she said, looking down.

“Yeah. He said he got jumped a few weeks back, then he just started acting funny,” I explained, watching her face. She looked back at me, straight face.

“Am I supposed to feel bad that someone beat him?” She asked. I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes.

“I wanna know if Cayden did it,” I said straight up.

“Cayden didn’t touch him,” she said, unblinking. I bit my lip. Could she be telling the truth? Was it just random? Was I paranoid? She kept a straight face so she must have been telling the truth because she was a bad liar. But I’d really thought it was him.

“Oh,” I said simply, shifting uncomfortably.

“But maybe this isn’t a bad thing. You’re young, hot, you shouldn’t be stressing over one nigga. You can get another in 5 minutes,” she gave me a smile. I nodded. She did have a point. “If he doesn’t wanna be with you don’t waste your time. You know who been asking about you? Cayden’s friend Rambo.”

My head snapped up.

“The fine one? From his birthday party?” I said in disbelief. She nodded. I bit my lip and smirked. Id been lowkey thirsting over him since i met him and we followed each other on instagram.“Really?”

“Really. I could totally set yall up if you want,” she shrugged. I paused, thinking. I debated if it was too early to give up on jermaine. “Think about it.”

“Ok,” I said, playing with my hair. I felt bad now for accusing Cayden of being involved. It was just weird that jermaine got so scared off. Maybe it was a sign. The doorbell went off then and we looked up. A man in overalls had entered.

“Delivery?” He said.

“Yes. I’ll be right there,” Randi shot up.

“Let me go back to work,” I mumbled, turning to go back into the salon area.

“Finally,” the lady in the chair mumbled. I ignored her.


I was sitting in my office looking over some finances and other details from the original warehouse that Pat was now at. I still had to give the final go on big deals and how the money would be split, all that. Being honest with myself, I wasn’t sure if I liked being I’m charge or not. It was nice to have free reign and not have to answer to anyone, but it was also stressful because people looked to me for direction. One thing I learned from Red’s mistakes is that you need your people to fear you but also respect you. I was chill with everything as long as it didn’t disrupt my business and money.

That’s why I was livid when Ty came in to tell me about how some niggas had managed to get arrested.

“What happened?” I asked.

“We got a mole, that’s the only thing it could be. Nobody knew about that deal outside out here. It was done straight, how we always do, they shouldn’t have gotten caught up. But soon as we traded the product for the cash, we heard sirens. I was keeping watch far from the deal so i got my ass out,” he shrugged.

“It was feds?” I asked. He nodded. “That shit don’t add up. They knew the details of the drop. That means they been watching,” I slammed my fist on the desk.

“Someone here undercover, and we better figure out who quick,” he said. I nodded.

“But for now we gotta deal with the niggas caught up. We still set up with that mafia lawyer?”

“Word on the street is he went legit, he don’t do that no more. New life and all that,” he said, lighting a blunt and slouching in the chair in front of my desk.

“Imma send somebody with a suitcase of money, I grantee he’ll change his mind, I know his type. We gotta wire these niggas some mad cash too, take care of their families, give them incentive to keep they mouths shut and do their time without cutting a deal.” I unlocked my cell phone to start making phone calls and shit. The last thing I needed was for the dudes to start naming names, mine would be top priority for the feds, and I wasn’t gonna go down like that..

“Aight. You think they’ll talk?” He asked. I paused, thinking.

“Not if they wanna live, we just gotta remind them we got people inside too, it’s easy to arrange something,” I licked my lips, thinking.

“Damn, you got this shit down nigga. Aight I’ll work on tracking down the mafia lawyer and getting him his cash. I’ll keep you posted,” he got up. I nodded. He left and I got on the computer. I really needed to get another assistant to replace Kassie, but it was easy to find somebody down enough to be a cartel assistant and secretary. Kass was the homie since time so I trusted her. For now I’d have to keep doing everything by myself.

Pat caught wind of what was happening and he came down to get updated.

“You think the rat here or at the first warehouse?” He asked.

“It could be either, or both. But I think it’s here. We gotta sit down and trim our roster. It’s too many people we don’t really know,” I took a sip of the drink I had poured. I had that and a joint going because this was some serious shit.
The worst part was then I had to go and talk more serious shit with Randi when I went back home.

“I agree. I been saying there’s too many dudes.”

“What you gonna do if shit blows up?” He said.

“Cover my ass, I ain’t going away because some fed got past us. But imma make sure it don’t come to that,” I promised. He nodded.

“I know you got it,” he stood up. “I gotta bounce. Keep me posted.”


After several meetings about the matter at hand I finally got out of the warehouse and in to my car. I was supposed to meet Randi in an hour at a restaurant. I was a little but weary about he conversation and I was already feeling high strung.
Cole called me just as I pulled out of the parking spot.

“Yo,” he said.

“What’s good my nigga?” I said, driving down the bumpy road leading off the warehouse property.

“Just making sure you still think it’s a good idea for me to be there for….your talk. Considering Randi still salty with me and all,” he said.

“Dont worry bout that she’ll get over it soon. Just come through,” I said.

“Aight,” he said, then I hung up.

I went home and changed first then drove to the restaurant. Randi pulled up just as I did and I got out my car. She waved slightly and I went to get her door for her.

“Thanks,” she said. I nodded, closing the door once she was out.

“How was your day?” I asked as we walked from the parking lot.

“Pretty good. Yours?” She asked, looking over at me. I paused.

“Kinda crazy,” i said. She frowned. 

“Everything ok?” 

“I’ll tell you bout it later,” i assured her. She nodded. I opened the door for her and we walked into the restaurant. We spotted Cole pretty quickly because he waved us down. Randi gave a side eye because she was still mad but we went and sat down.

“Glad both of yall showed up,” he said. There was an awkward silence. “Okay then. So lets jump right into it.

“I didn’t come here to beat around the bush,” Randi mumbled.

“Great. So you go first then miss salty. Cayden, what you wanna ask her?” he said. Randi rolled her eyes at being called salty, but then she turned to me, waiting. I didn’t know where to start. I was trying real hard to avoid arguing today so that we could actually get somewhere on the topic. I didnt want her to feel like i was attacking her because at the end of the day she was still my wife…and i still loved her. Even if i hadn’t shown it the last week. She looked very unhappy and uncomfortable sitting here in the restaurant with Cole. I started thinking about how we had talked through most of our issues. It was usually in our bedroom i realized, just us without all the distractions. This was so…impersonal.

“Cayden?” She said after some time.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” I blurted.

“Yes,” she said desperately. I got up and grabbed her hand. She looked surprised but she got up. Cole was lost. 

“We gon catch you later Cole,” i said, already leaving the table.

“okay?” he said. I pulled Randi all the way outside. When we got to our cars i looked over at her confused face from my sudden change in attitude. Her hand was still in mine.

“Cay, this was your idea” she reminded me. “Do you not wanna do this anymore?”

“Not here, not like this. Meet me at home, okay?” i said simply. She nodded and i let go of her hand. I leaned in and kissed her forehead before turning to go to my car. She stood there, dumbfounded. 


Autumn Dupont 

A hint of the hushed hallway’s lighting filtered into the darkness of the master bedroom as soon as I opened the door to peak inside. As I expected, his lanky frame was still peacefully tangled in the midnight black cotton sateen sheeting. Once I closed the door behind myself, I quietly sauntered over to the California king bed and slithered under the sheets as carefully as I could. Once my head hit the pillow, a hint of chills slowly trickled down my spine as Dante stirred and eventually flipped over to reveal his striking face as a faint glimmer from the full and luminous moon cascaded over it. His bushy brows just about formed into one as his expression contorted into a frown and those very chills conquered my entire frame as I watched him instinctively reach over to return his arm to it’s usual position around my waist. Though I know he does it for affectionate purposes, I also know that he does it to keep me from rolling towards the edge of the bed and curling up there as I’d gotten used to doing since my time in Miami.

“Hey.” His large palm brushed against my abdomen and the warmth from his deep exhale tickled the side of my face as he leaned in for a kiss on my cheek.

“You can’t sleep?” The gruff and grogginess within his already raspy tone ignited an intensity within my core and it trickled down until a flush of moisture seeped into the lace on my lower half and left a dewiness in it’s lining. A faint whimper spilled from my lips and though he’d most likely sum that up to possible frustration about my restlessness, I quietly knew better.

Keep reading

Sixty One


Cayden and I were in a really good place since my last therapy session and we had been talking about a lot of things over the last 2 weeks. I guess my opening up and emotional display when I came home had really made him feel some way because he had been telling me a lot about his childhood and things that made him the way he was.

We sat in the car driving to the mall because I wanted a dress to wear to the club for some event Cole and Ty were having. I sat in the passenger seat with my hand on the console and his over mine.

“So tell me about you and Ty stealing cars as kids,” I said, looking over and smiling at him. He laughed.

“God, we were idiots. We made hella money doing that though. Most of my elementary and high school I was doing that. This random OG worked in a car shop I used to walk past on my way to school. Well pretending to walk to school. He’d see me ditch my bag once I made it past the block and go off to do whatever reckless shit for the day,” he said.

“You didn’t go to school?” I asked.

“Nah, I hated it. Never understood what was happening in class,” he shrugged.

“But you’re smart Cay,” I was confused.

“It wasn’t that, I just ain’t pay attention. All I wanted was to either play ball or kick it with my homies. Ty didn’t go to my school and he was my best friend, so I think that made it worse.”

“Awe you missed him,” I giggled. He kissed his teeth. “Ok so the guy at the car shop.”

“Yeah, so he seen me, then one day he stopped me and asked where I was going everyday. I said no where, then he asked if I wanted to put my time into something profitable. Being the young pimpin I was, I was like aight. Told Ty, and that’s how we ended up brining in cars for him,” he finished the story. I raised my brows.

“So your mom didn’t know what you was doing?”

“No. Trey didn’t even know for a while,” he laughed after that.

“What?” I grinned looking up at his amused face.

“I just remembered how he beat my ass when he found out. He said he didn’t want me doing all that, even though the nigga was balls deep in the drug game,” he explained.

“He wanted to protect you.” I understood that. Cay nodded. “Trey sounds like he was a really good brother.”

“He was,” he looked away and out the windshield to the long line of backed up cars in front of us. We had been stuck in traffic for over an hour but I didn’t mind.

“Does it still make you sad to talk about him?” I asked, squeezing his hand. He shook his head.

“Not so much now. 2,3, years ago, ya. But it’s ok now. ‘Course I wish he was here. But he’s gone and he ain’t coming back, nothing I can do,” his face didn’t reveal much.

“I wish that for you too,” I said. I lifted our hands and kissed the back of his. He glanced over at me and smirked.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more,” I said, digging through my bag with my free hand.

“What are you looking for?” He asked, glancing at the rear view mirror.

“Food,” I said.

“We should be there soon now. We’re the next exit,” he said. My stomach growled in response.

“Hopefully I make it,” I said, opening a candy I’d found.

“We stopped at McDonald’s on our way here mama,” he said.

“So what are you trying to say,” I said, closing my bag and folding my hands.

“Nothing. Hey look at that dog in the car next to us,” he changed the subject.

“Don’t get any idea’s,” I said.

“Come on, we should get one. They’re so cute,” he said.

“They are cute, but I know you’d get one and I’d end up doing everything,” I narrowed my eyes. He chuckled.

“All you gotta do is walk it,” he said.

“And pick up it’s poo. Nah I can’t do dog shit. I can change diapers, wipe a bum or 2” I said without thinking and there was a brief silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence. The tension between us was hard to explain. The way he looked at me made my knees weak and I couldn’t look away so that didn’t help.

“You can put diapers on the dog,” he said.

“You know how expensive diapers are?” I laughed “ if I’m buying them there better be a human baby involved.”

“Good point,” he said, changing lanes to exit. I looked out the window. I could see the mall from where we were.

In the mall we went into several stores looking for a white dress since the theme was all white.

“This feels like shopping for my wedding dress all over again,” I said as Cayden zipped me into a dress. I turned around to face him and he was cheesing.

“You looked sexy as hell in that dress,” he said.

“I liked seeing you in a suit,” i said, placing my hands on his chest.

“Maybe we should get married again,” he suggested. I laughed.

“I barely survived the first wedding, I was so nervous. Can’t do that again,” I said, playing with the hair at the back of his neck.

“You got over it though,” he said.

“Yeah, when I saw your face it went away,” i recalled the exact moment.

“Aweee,” he said, imitating a female voice. I rolled my eyes.

“Lucky I like you,” I mumbled.

“I like you too I guess,” he shrugged. I pulled away to look in the mirror. “And I like this one,” he said.

“It makes me look wide,” I frowned at the mirror. He shook his head.

“Nah it’s good,” he assured me. “Your boobs look big, you always like that,” he shrugged.

“They do don’t they,” I turned to the side peeping the cleavage. “Ok I’ll get it.”

I went back into the change room and closed the door to get back in to my own clothes.


Ty drove up to Dallas to pick me up Saturday morning after my first week at training camp. I low key missed everybody but particularly him. He insisted on me coming back for the weekend since I had no training and he wanted to throw some kind of party or whatever which was dope. We were on some couple shit for real this time so i guess he wasn’t worried about going out together and everyone knowing what was really going down. Now that he was out of the closet as gay…or bi…or whatever he classified himself as.

We were packing up the car with my few things and were about to hit the road.

“You say bye to your little friends?” He asked. I scoffed.

“You’re jealous aren’t you?” I guessed. “All these buff football niggas.”

“Only if you give me a reason to be,” he shrugged.

“That’s not my type anyway,” I said, locking the door to my apartment. We went down the stairs to the car.

“What is your type?” He asked several minutes later. I shrugged.

“Lanky niggas like you,” I said with a smirk. He didn’t think it was funny, but what was new.

We stopped for food at Buffalo Wild Wings before going to Ty’s place because we were both starving. Our wings came and we ate them while watching the golden state game that was on the TV.

“So i been wondering,” i said, starting on something that had been on my mind for a while.

“Yeah,” he said, eyes on the Tv above.

“How was it being with girls before?” I made my tone casual. He shrugged.

“Good,” he said, “it was never nothing serious, just fucked with some chicks.”

“Whats better? Being with a dude or a chick?” i chuckled but it was a bit nervous honestly. I thought about the fact that, for most of his life, Ty had been interested in girls quite a lot. Not gonna lie, it made me insecure because unlike me, he was actually attracted to women as well, and i wasn’t sure where that left me. I had to worry about him looking both ways. All this shit was why in the past i didnt take things past hookups. He looked from the TV to me and looked unusually serious.

“It aint even about that,” he said. “Being with you is better, and not because you a dude. Because you’re you,” he said. That was just about the most, lovey dovey, romantic or whatever you wanna call it, thing anyone had ever said to me. I didnt have anything to say back, i was just surprised. “Better not tell anyone i said that soft ass shit.”
I grinned.

“Bet,” i said. He nodded and turned back to the TV.

When we got to Ty’s place we somehow ended up making out as soon as we stepped through the doors. We stumbled down the hallway and to his bedroom, knocking things down the whole way there. I pulled away to grab his shirt and pulled it up over his arms. I liked his tattoos a lot. I had a few but the full chest and arms looked good on him. He gripped my neck and pulled me back in to put his lips on mine. We were at the foot of the bed so i pushed him back and he fell on to the bed. I leaned over him and put my mouth to his chest. I trailed down his stomach slowly. His phone started ringing then. He didnt make a move to get it so i went on to unbutton his jeans. I got them down to his knees and then the phone went off again.

“You gon get that?” i said, looking up at him. He was biting his lip which was adorable but id never tell him that.

“Fuck that,” he said, voice hoarse. I chuckled and continued the trail of kisses until i reached my final destination and Ty’s teeth quickly sank back into his lip. I wanted to show him how i felt about him after what he said at the restaurant and i wasn’t the best with words. From the look on his face i was pretty sure this would do.

We were laying in the bed chilling for a while after, catching our breath and everything. Ty’s phone was ringing again so i told him to just get it. I got up and put my boxers on, making my way to the kitchen to get bottles of water. When i came back he was talking to someone.

“They came to yo crib?” He sounded pretty heated. There wa silence for a bit. “You think they actually got anything?”

I handed him the bottle and he took it. I sat down beside him.

“Aight well keep me posted. We’ll discuss it tonight at the club. Aight,” he said, then hung up.

“Cayden?” i guessed. He nodded. “Everything okay?”

“Some shit may be going down. But we handling it,” he said. I nodded understanding. I had been around the game enough to understand and not bother asking too many questions.

“Im sure yall gon handle it,” i said simply.


After taking Randi to get all her stuff at the mall we drove back home to just chill because we were tired of going around. She went to the closet to go and try all her stuff on all over again and do whatever other shit. I changed into some shorts and grabbed my headphones.

“Im gonna go workout in the basement,” i said.

“Ok,” she said. “I might be gone when you done. Gotta stop by the shop for a quick minute and sign some stuff for Jada and China.”

“Aight. Let me know if you want me to take you,” grabbed a towel from the hamper.

“K, thanks,”

I turned and left the bedroom. When i got downstairs i did a bit of cardio on the treadmill to get a good sweat going before i did any lifting. My weights were all out of order because Randi ass be using my shit and got no respect to put things back the way she found them.

About 30 minutes into my workout i heard the doorbell going off upstairs.

“I got it!” Randi yelled. I hadnt been sure she was still home. I assumed she’d called somebody over. I continued lifting my weights.

A few minutes later heavy footsteps came down the stairs and Randi was walking, no storming, towards me. Her face wasn’t a happy one. I raised a brow. She pointed at my headphones so took them off. She handed me a piece of paper. ‘Detective James Smith, FBI’. My body stiffened and my face went blank. The feds had showed up at my door and talked to Randi. I was livid. I tore the card and gave it back to her.

“Should i be worried?” she asked. I shook my head.

“No,” i said. She glared at me until i got up from the bench. “Im handling it,” i said. She gave me some side eye but i guess she believed me because she didnt blow up.

“Better be,” she said.

“What they want?” 

“They just asked questions. Some bullshit about suspicious cars in the neighbourhood. They wanted to come inside.”

“What you say to them?” i asked.

“That i had no idea what they were talking about and you weren’t home,” she said in a 'duh’ tone.

“You lied?” I said, surprised, “to the feds?”

“Yeah,” she said in the same tone.

“You didnt have to lie for me,” i said simply, “i dont want you involved in this.”

“Thats the stupidest thing you’ve ever said,” her voice was full with rage. My brows came together in confusion. I expected she’d swoon over the fact that i was doing everything to protect her. “Of course im gonna lie for your ass,” she threw the pieces of paper in my face. “I love you, you idiot. Don’t you get it?”

I did get it, and i should have known she would do everything to stick by my side and ride for me. I was willing to go down for her and she was ready to do the same. But i couldn’t have that.

“I know,” i said, understanding. “Its all gonna be over in a few days. I just gotta deal with someone and its all not gonna matter anymore.”

“Okay,” she said, mouth in a deep set frown. I grabbed her waist with one hand.

“I love you lil mama,” i said, “thats my focus, it always is,” i assured her. I used my other hand to grip her chin and pull her into a deep kiss. The kind that made her close her eyes and forget where she was. She put her hands on my arms to support herself.

“I love you too,” she said breathlessly. Seems i had avoided this argument.

“You still wanna go out tonight?” i asked. She sighed.

“Yeah, lets go. I wanna be there for Cole, we just fixed things,” she said. I nodded understanding.

Later into the night we were in the car headed to the club for Ty and Cole’s event. I had on some while jeans and a white t shirt with my chain. Randi had on the dress that we had bought earlier that day, and i swear i didnt remember it being that short but maybe it just felt that way now that i could see niggas standing outside the club waiting to get in. I pulled into a parking spot and parked the car. She pulled the mirror down to fix her lip gloss. I watched her put it on.

“I cant see, how is it?” she said, turning to me. I took my thumb and wiped the little bit that was on the side of her lips.

“Good,” i said. She smiled. I opened my door and got out to go around to her side. I opened the door for her and she grabbed my hand to get out. We walked towards the entrance and i looked around. Ty was supposed to pull up any minute and we were gonna talk about what had happened. I saw him talking to the bouncers at the front of the line. He saw us and nodded. The bouncer opened up the rope so we could skip the line.

“Go inside, ill be there in a minute,” i said to Randi.

“Ok,” she said, letting go of my arm. The bouncer opened the door and i watched her go inside. Ty dapped me up and we stepped off to the side.

“So whats the deal. I thought we paid everyone off. Who talked?” He said. I shook my head.

“We did. Its not one of our guys. Apparently they got a witness who saw the deal going down. Thats all they got on the case. We deal with them, they got nothing to go on,” I said, pulling a blunt out from my pocket.  I lit it and put it between my lips.

“So you wanna kill them?” He asked. I shook my head no.

“Nah, thats messy. They’d be on us quick, and people would look for that person. They just trying to make a buck, theres a cash reward. We just gotta give them i better deal and i guarantee they gon suddenly forget what they saw,” i said, taking a long drag from the blunt. Ty took it and took a hit.

“If you think thats best,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind offing them.”

“Neither would i, but we gotta be smart about it. Can’t get trigger happy.”

“And thats why you in charge not me,” he chuckled. “You be thinking about shit.”
i shrugged.

“Red taught me a thing or 2, before he lost his mind,” i mumbled. He nodded.

“Aight,” he handed me the blunt. “Im going in,” he said.

“Imma finish this, be there in a minute,” i said. He went back to the bouncer who let him in.

I was smoking my blunt for a few minutes just thinking when Ty came back out, jogging towards me.

“Yo,” he said. “Better come get yo girl,” he said. My brows came together. What kind of trouble could Randi of all people have gotten into at a club. I put out my blunt. We opened the doors and went inside the club. It was packed. Ty led the way towards the back and i followed. We made it to the bar where i saw Randi, China and Jada standing close together. They were definitely ready to pop off. They were facing another group of a few girls in what could only be a stare down. The other girl was in some skimpy bra and shorts outfit with curly black hair. She had tattoos all over and stood a good bit over Randi. Honestly looking her over i didn’t like Randi’s odds of winning whatever this was. I wasn’t sure what had happened. On the outskirts of the little brawl i saw Cole. I nodded at him.

“Whats going on?” i asked.

“Some chick came sideways at Randi, threw her drink her at her,” he said. I saw the stain on Randi’s white dress. I wasn’t sure what she was gonna do, she was saying something to the girl. I pushed through the few people around them to get behind the wall her and the girls had formed.

“What’s good Randi?” i said. She looked back at me and i saw rage in her eyes.

“Stay out of this Cayden, i got it” she said, walking forward. I looked around for a minute. The guys looked to me to see if they should intervene. Most of my niggas were here and could easily start something. They all would for Randi too since she was my wife. We couldn’t really post up on a chick though so I just shook my head telling them to leave it.

“So what you gonna do?” I asked, standing close behind her.

“Imma just tell her she got me fucked up,” she said. I nodded hesitantly. I got the idea that there was no convincing her to back down now.

Randi walked up to the girl and she crossed her arms. The music was so loud i couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other but it was pretty obvious they were cursing and all that. The girl stepped up to Randi but she didn’t even flinch despite the fact that the other girl was taller. Something was said and Randi snatched the girl’s hair. That’s when things went downhill. I was too stunned by this side of Randi to even do anything. They fell to the ground and I couldn’t see much other than them rolling all over the place. Randi got on top, sitting on the girl’s chest and the girl swiped at Randi. People had gathered now to watch the scene.

“Fuck!” She screamed, and that’s when we moved foward. I had to push past the little crowd that had formed so it took me a while to get to her. By the time I got there, Randi had a knife in her hand and positioned at the girl’s neck.

“Randi!” I shouted, getting her attention. “Give it to me.”

“The bitch cut me,” she yelled, still holding the knife.

“You got her too,” I said pointing at the slash on her collar, “she got the message, right?” I asked the girl who nodded quickly. Randi paused then handed me the knife. She got up off the girl who scrambled up off the floor and quickly ran away with her friends close behind her. Randi fixed her dress and turned to face me.

“Cayden, we gotta bounce,” Pat said, “before the popo pull up.” I nodded and grabbed Randi’s arm as well as collected her friends, then headed for the exit.

“Yall go home, I’ll take the girls back,” Pat offered outside the club. I nodded and told him thanks then pulled a still angry Randi to the car. I opened the door and pushed her inside.

We were dead silent the whole ride home. I didn’t really know what to say, and she was mad, i guess at me, so she was giving silent treatment. When i pulled up to the driveway and parked the car i turned to look at her. I was pretty livid that she had acted like that honestly. She opened her door and got out so i did the same. We got in the house and upstairs to the room. She sat on the bed, touching her arm that had gotten cut. I felt a little bit of guilt then.

“I shouldn’t have let you fight that chick,” I said, looking at her arm. “Since when do you get into fights anyway?” I asked, my voice raised.

“That dumb bitch started it,” she mumbled, dabbing her shoulder. I went to the bathroom and grabbed some stuff to clean it. I handed her some cotton balls.

“So you really had to jump her?” I asked, still in shock. Really Randi had started the physical part of the fight. Though the girl escalated it with the knife.

“Yeah. Then she shanked me, so i had to finish it. You always getting into fights with people, why can’t i?”

“So you was really gon kill her?” I asked, talking about before I called her off. She shrugged. I sighed, and wrapped her arm with a bandage. I thought about her sitting on that girl and ready to cut her like she was in a movie. I was angry but also kind of amused. I felt my face relaxing a little bit into a smirk. That was some shit i would do.  "So you think you a gangster now or what?“

“I been a gangster,” she said, side eyeing me. I chuckled.

“Nah it don’t count until you catch a body, or at least some battle wounds,” I said. She pointed to the arm that I had just bandaged. I laughed.

“That small thing,” I scoffed.

“I would have caught a body if you hadnt interrupted.” She rolled her eyes. I grabbed her chin and looked at her.

“On a serious note. You can’t go around fighting people Randi. You gonna get hurt, she could have had a gun. And you wont be catching any bodies, ever. Thats not the type of shit i need my wife doing. Don’t do dumb shit just because I do it,” I said, looking her in the eyes to show I was dead ass.

“That wasn’t why Cayden. I would have fought her either way. I don’t regret it,” she said. I nodded.

“Well, you handled yourself well. I can’t lie, I’m a little proud of you. Maybe there’s a little street in you after all.” I smiled. She grinned and kissed me.

“How am I gonna explain this to my parents?” She asked suddenly. I grabbed all the stuff we had used.

“That’s your business. That’s what happens when you jump people,” I teased, going to put everything away in the bathroom and clean my hands.

“You’re exaggerating i did not jump her,” she said. When i was back in the room i gave her doubtful eyes.

“Aight miss world star.”

“Whatever. Come help me take my shoes off,” she said, laying back on the bed. I went and grabbed her legs, taking her heels off.

“You want some advil?” i asked. She shook her head.

“Just come lay with me,” she said. I got on the bed and spooned her from behind. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my hands on her stomach.

“Better?” i asked. She nodded. I kissed her head. I loved my crazy ass wife.

Fifty seven


Today was the day of some house warming party Randi had planned 2 weeks ago, before our disagreement. But people were already invited so there was no cancelling. She had done a lot to the house and it actually looked good, I had to admit. We had new furniture and appliances, she even changed the colour of the kitchen cabinets from brown to white which I liked much better. When she started all the decorating she had scheduled this day so now I had to have people up in my house. The crew would be there, contractors she had used here and at the salon, a bunch of people.

I went to play some ball with Cole first before I had to go back home.

“So what’s the deal?” Cole asked.

“About what?” I grunted, jumping up and releasing the ball. It circled the rim before going inside the net. I made a mean mug.

“You and Randi. She won’t tell me,” he said.

“Really?” I was genuinely shocked. But then again I hadn’t told Ty or anyone. This shit felt oddly personal.

“Yeah. It must be pretty deep then,” he said. I nodded. He stole the ball from me and dribbled between his legs. “You know, if you told me maybe I could help. I hate seeing Yall like this. We all do.”

“All?” I asked.

“It was pretty obvious since my party, everyone caught on,” he said. I blew out a breath. We weren’t slick then.


“So lemme help,” he said. I chuckled.

“So how that gonna work if you and Randi best friends? You’re biased. That’s like me getting Ty,” I scoffed. He chuckled.

“That ain’t true. Unlike Ty I spend a lotta time with both of you. We playing ball now, just us. Ty and Randi don’t chill like that,” he pointed out. I paused for a moment. He made a good point. But I didn’t know if it was right to spill our business. But Randi trusted Cole like no one, except maybe me. I decided there was no harm in telling him. I stole the ball from him.

“We fighting about kids. Randi don’t want none,” I said simply. He paused, looking down for a second.

“I kinda thought that this was coming,” he said. I stopped dribbling.

“How?” I asked, confused. He paused again.

“Aight imma tell you even though she told me not to tell you but this gotta stay between us. I don’t wanna go behind her back but this fight needs to end,” he said. I nodded, jaw locked.  "She took a test at my house once, and she seemed Hella relieved when it was negative so I knew she wasn’t down. Then when we played ball  you was taking about getting a lil you soon and I knew mess was gonna follow.“

I didn’t know what to say. This was the first I was hearing she even thought she was pregnant.

“When she take the test?” I growled.

“Before Yall got married, a bit ago. Don’t be mad or saying anything bout it to her. She was pretty scared, and she’d kill me,” he came closer to me. “Ain’t no point in being mad, it’s already passed.”

“So the fuck you think I should do?”

“Yall need to sit and talk. I don’t mind being in the middle to keep it civil, help Yall communicate,” he shrugged.

“How we gonna do that when we not talking,” I mumbled.

“One of Yall gonna have to give in,” he said.

“Not me.”

“You and I both know Randi. It’s not gonna be her,” he chuckled. “When Yall stop being petty let me know and we can have that talk.” He grabbed the ball, ran up to the net and dunked.

I thought about something Randi’s dad had said to me a while back. That when things went too far it was my job to bring things back together since I’m the man and she’s my woman otherwise we would end up separating. But that time I had been in the wrong, I didn’t see why I had to surrender in this situation.

When I got home I hopped in the shower quick then changed into pants and a dress shirt. Randi came out of the closet wearing a dress that must have been new because I certainly hadn’t seen it before. I stared openly. The dress was tight, plunging neck, with a slit coming up all the way to her hip.  I wasn’t a fan.

Once the party started I immediately got a drink and chilled by the living area. Me and Ty plus some other guys were checking the game score on the TV occasionally.

“So Pat told me you wanna start dealing with new people,” he said, I could tell he wasn’t happy. I shrugged.

“It’s not set,” I said simply.

“Still, I gotta find out through Pat?” He chuckled.

“If you wanna be first to know shit you should have taken the position when I offered it to you,” I said, looking from the TV to him. He ground his teeth.

“Yeah, I guess you right,” he said, leaving his spot against the wall and walking into the kitchen. I kissed my teeth.

I looked around the room then and landed on Randi talking to a guy in paint splattered jeans and a plaid shirt. He had a beard and low cut hair on the sides with one of those stupid man buns. I assumed he was a contractor. Randi was focused on some picture she was discussing with him but the nigga’s eyes were else where. He eyed her exposed chest and traveled down to that fucking slit. I balled my hand into a fist and my face went hot.

I was conflicted because I didn’t wanna pay her any attention but this dude was eyeing my wife in my own house. My jealousy won out over my stubbornness.

“Randi,” i said, gritting my teeth. She looked up at me in shock, i gusss that i was saying something to her. “Come here.” She put her drink down and came to see what was up. She looked at me unsure as I grabbed her hip firmly.

“What…?” She asked.

“Go change,” i said. She scoffed and stepped back.

“The fuck you mean go change,” she  said, irritated.

“I ain’t okay with that dress. Got slits and cleavage and shit. Niggas staring,” i locked my jaw looking at the contractor guy she had been talking to.

“Why is that your business? This the first word you said to me in days.”
I was shaking at this point.

“Still. As your husband some things are for me and not for everyone else,” i said through gritted teeth.

“If that’s all you have to say to me Cay, I’m leaving,” she said, turning to walk away. I grabbed her arm.

“Imma give you 10 minutes to change. Dead ass Randi, I’ll kick all these people out” i said tightening my grip on her arm. She left my grip and stormed upstairs.

When she returned a few minutes later she had changed to a new black dress. She cut me a side eye and I mean mugged her. I knew we were going right back to not talking.

**two days later**

Cayden and i had gone several days with this cold interaction and it was starting to get to me, affecting my confidence. Was Cayden really gonna stop loving me over a child? Was I horrible person for the way I felt about the topic. I just had to get out of there.

I knew it was hypocritical to leave when I has cussed him out over sleeping in a spare room but i couldn’t go on with him treating me like this. I wasn’t just mad, I was loosing my mind and if I felt this way for much longer I’d do something stupid. I was also generally on edge from days of nightmares and I was mad because Cayden was probably sleeping like a baby. I went to the closet, still in my skirt and heels from work and started hastily making a bag.

“I just need a couple of days,” I said to myself, throwing more clothes into the bag. “Things will tide over by then…they have to.”

I threw a couple more things in, then the bag was done. I didn’t move though. I just stood there in a frenzy clutching the bag. If I left this could be the end of everything. Cayden had made me promise to stop running when we got married and so far I had kept it. I didn’t wanna go against that but I also couldn’t ignore the screaming in my head. ‘Run, run and don’t come back’. I shook my head willing the voice to stop. When it wouldn’t I dropped the bag and grabbed my head with both my hands.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I yelled. I closed my eyes tight and went somewhere else.

“Randi!” Cayden yelled, grabbing a hold of my arms. I must have been hitting my head because now it hurt. I struggled in his arms trying to get free flailing about. “It’s me, it’s Cay,” he said not letting go. I tried to kick him and he spun me around so that my back was against his chest. He pinned my arns to my own chest. “Breathe,” he said, “breathe Ran.”
I panted for several minutes, gasping for air. After a while my breathing was close to normal. He loosened his grip a little bit.

“I’m not insane,” I said, breathing hard.

“I know you’re not,” he said. So I let him hold me for a few more minutes. When he was convinced I was back on planet earth he said,

“Okay. I’m gonna let go now,” cautiously. I nodded. He let me loose and I immediately went red with embarrassment and shame.

“I have to go,” I said, turning for the closet door. My arm was quickly grabbed.

“I’m not letting you go anywhere,” he said, shaking his head.

“I need to be alone to think,” I said.

“You can think right here, with me,” he said sternly. He loomed over me watching my every move and I regretted my outburst. He was never gonna let me out of his sight. I stood in front of him stubbornly for a while before I got tired and gave in. I slumped into his chest and was quickly encircled by his strong arms.

“I’m insane,” I said, accepting my fate.

“No. You are not.”

“I don’t know why you want me to have your kids, I’ll screw them up,” I mumbled.

“This is all my fault. I pushed you to this,” he said. I sighed. “I won’t bring up the topic again. I didn’t know how deep it affects you.”

“It’s not so much that Cayden. You can want what you want and disagree  with me but I can’t handle you being angry with me. When you don’t talk to me…it literally drives me insane. ”

“I shouldn’t have gone about any of this the way I did. Its…not fair to be angry and guilt you because you don’t want kids,” he sighed. “If I’m being honest, I knew before we got married. I just thought you’d change your mind,” he said, giving me a small smile. Guilt started to build up in me.

“And someday I could,” I said. “I blew things up. I should have at least been open to a full on conversation. I shut you down pretty quickly,” I admitted, wrapping my arms tighter around his torso, remembering the plate he had thrown.

“Yeah you kinda did,” he chuckled. We hugged each other silently for a while. “We’ll talk about all that another time. For now, are you okay?”

He gripped both sides of my face.

“I think so,” I sighed. He led me to the bedroom and we sat on the bed.

“What’s going on with you baby?” He asked, tapping my forehead meaningfully.

“I was panicking,” I started, “the usual. But usually I can suppress the irking panicky thoughts, today I couldn’t.”

“That’s the voice?” He asked. I nodded. “Continue.”

“The panic voice was saying to pack up and leave to avoid facing the issue, but I remembered my promise to you,” I looked up at him through my lashes, “so I tried to make the voice stop.”

“You scared the shit out of me,” he admitted.

“Sorry I went asylum on you,” I smiled slightly. He took my hand.

“Tell you what. If you feel like you really need to get away and be alone…just go to the apartment and let me know so I don’t think you’re missing.”

“But Cay-” I started. He shook his head.

“I’d rather that than see you like that again,” he explained I nodded. I looked down at our intertwined hands for a while. I thought about how Cay had calmed me down like no one else could when I was the most vulnerable. He saw me for everything I was, dark corners and all, and it didn’t scare him away.

“I guess we need to have a real discussion,” I said finally, putting a hand to his perfect jaw. He simply nodded and turned to kiss my hand.

“Later, when we both in a better place.”

“We were stupid to get married without having these conversations weren’t we?” I murmured. He shook his head.

“Love makes us do stupid things. But I don’t regret it…do you?” He looked vulnerable. I shook my head.

“Of course not baby,” I assured him.


I stretched out of sleep, lifting my arms over my head and turning over on to my back. My arm brushed against warm skin and I looked over at the other side of the bed where Cole was still sleep. I slid out of the bed and went to get my clothes off the floor. I stepped into my jeans and put my shirt over my head.

I had come over late last night to chill and of course one thing led to another, and i eventually fell asleep after a lot of making out and stuff.

“You ain’t always gotta run out on niggas. You can stay if you want…eat, chill, whatever,” came a voice from behind me. I was caught. I turned around with a slight smirk.

“Ain’t nobody running out, I got shit to do,” I said.

“Right now? At 7am,” he asked, skeptical. I paused. He was right. I was just trying to get out before he was awake and we had to do the whole morning after thing. I had never done that with anyone, chick or dude. I never stayed the night and I for sure never stayed the morning after. That was a level of commitment i never had…until now. This was also weird because unlike girls who would ask me to stay, Cole acted like he was cool with whatever. I was never quite sure what he was thinking.

“I guess not right now,” I said. He looked over at me and we made eye contact. I glanced briefly at his bare chest which showed the hours of training he did.

“If you don’t want to that’s cool though,” he said, breaking eye contact. I realised then that he was….upset? I realised he didn’t want me to go.

“Nah I can chill for a bit,” I said, sitting on the bed.

“Imma take a shower, you tryna hop in?” He said, removing the blankets and standing up. Seeing him in absolutely nothing was distracting but I was pretty sure he knew that. He came over and gripped my shoulders. Then he moved his hands down to the hem of my shirt and lifted it up. I raised my arms to help. He went for my jeans next and then turned to go the bathroom. I followed.

“So what are you gonna do with this place when you go to Dallas?” I asked, pulling my shirt back on.

“Imma keep it. Imma be here weekends and stuff, days off,” he shrugged.

“You think you gon be back a lot?” I asked, indirectly asking what I actually wanted which was ‘will we still see each other’.

“I’ll be back quite a bit, it’s only a few hours away.”

“I’m sure you gon miss Randi a lot,” I chuckled. He smiled.

“I will,” he nodded. “And you too,” he added. I paused and I swear my heart stopped. I really was gonna miss him though, and things were just starting to work with us.

“I guess Imma miss our 2k games,” I said, meaning I’d miss him. He chuckled and now I smiled. I grabbed his chin and licked my lips. He gripped my sides and moved in to put his lips on mine.

Hours later after eating and watching some shows I finally put my shoes on by the door. I said bye to him and he watched me as i made my way down the stairs. I looked back and he grinned, i smirked back.