j & c

My Sassenach - Chapter 10

Hello my lovelies! While scrolling through my dash the other day, i came across a gif-set of this interview and it got me thinking. It’s been an age since I posted any fic, so I decided it was just about time.

As always all my other J/C and S/C fics can be found here.

Love at First Sight Isn’t Real

Did she believe in love at first sight? No, of course not. How could she? Such a ridiculous notion. How could one meet a perfect stranger and just instantly love them. Love. Real love? Lust, yes. That answer felt comfortable to her. Safe. True. Obtainable. She had felt instant lust for several people in her life. Sometimes she had acted on it. Other times not. But Love? No, love at first sight didn’t exist.

Except it did.

And now she knew it. Love at first sight snuck up on you. It crept on silent feet, sidelong, so as to prevent you from seeing it coming. It didn’t tap you on the shoulder or whisper in your ear. It didn’t ease you into the idea, giving you time to let it settle and find it’s home. It overtook you in an instant. A literal instant. It consumed you, besieged you until you were inundated with emotions so powerful, so real that you couldn’t even take air into your lungs. The ability to breathe, to think, to respond simply stopped. You were left with only love. Overwhelming, uncontrollable, insistent love. It could be denied. It could. But not for long. She had denied it, when it swept into her life like a tsunami, washing away all the order and organization and control she had spent more than a decade perfecting.

Her life was just how she had meant it to be. The early days were terrifying, stepping off an abyss into a career she hadn’t anticipated, traveling the world in a way she had always wanted but never expected. It wasn’t always an easy life, or a calm one and true, she had experienced setbacks. Money that should have come but didn’t, causing legal pursuits that went nowhere. Relationships that should have progressed but ended instead. She’d had the overall instability of a nomadic existence and it had suited her. She’d had ups and downs, imperfections and messiness, but it all fit within the confines of her expectations. She had found success, had developed a life and a circle of friends so tight that she would never be alone, never without support. Truly, life was good. Even the terrifying and risky change of careers at an age that any expert would tell you was not ideal seemed to fit. It worked. It may have caused temporary unsettled feelings, but it all meshed within the scheme of her controlled and ordered, beautiful and rather exotic existence.

So when she was asked, during a silly game, for another round of promotion whether or not she believed in love at first sight, she panicked. She was well practiced at covering panic, or any other emotion for that matter. As a model there was no room for ‘Caitriona’ on the runway, only sass and sex and skin. That’s what she was paid for and that’s what she had learned to provide. Mastered, really. It was serving her well in this newfound form of fame. She was adept at being ‘Cait’. Just as she had learned what she needed to project on the runway, so she was learning what she had to give as an actress, always laughing, joking, answering endless inane questions on repeat and deflecting those that veered too close, with a grace and charm that she was finally old enough to admit came naturally to her. She was made for this. So why did she panic?

The question had caught her off guard, is all. She didn’t want to think about it. It wasn’t panic. It was the fact that true love was a romantic fairy tale that didn’t exist.

Except it did.

And Sam was sitting right next to her, warm and real, smelling like love and sex and contentment. She’d read all the descriptions on-line about what Sam smelled like. Woods, musk, sweat, spice, pine, man. Women went on at length about his smell and what cologne he wore and fantasized about what they would do if they ever got the chance to smell him. She would love to be incensed by that, offended by a sense of female propriety that disdained throwing herself at a man, or objectifying him in that way, except that she had smelled him for the first time, too. She remembered that smell. Creeping through the air, ghosting through her nostrils, into her lungs, dispersing through her respiratory system, traveling through her blood into every cell in her body, changing her DNA, modifying her code, and reprogramming her brain. His scent was insistent. It demanded acknowledgement. Caitriona was unable to describe it in terms of individual smells, though. It wasn’t ‘woodsy’ or ‘spicy’ or ‘athletic’. He smelled like security, comfort, companionship, strength.  To her, Sam smelled like forever. Maybe it was that early infatuation with how good he smelled that confused her and made her think love at first sight existed. Maybe that’s why she panicked. She was asked, and he was there, insistent, demanding acknowledgement. But he’d been joking, right? Playing along for the cameras. How silly. Love at first sight wasn’t real.

Except it was.

Sam had leaned in to her, playfully gazing at her like a puppy in love. Only she could see right into he eyes, those endless pools of blue, deep and fathomless, full of mystery and energy. So much energy. She’d never met anyone with such an endless supply of enthusiastic energy. He was like a bloody Energizer Bunny. He kept going and going and going. Sometimes it annoyed her, like at 5am when he was up for the blasted gym and all she wanted to do was curl into him and sink deeper into the quilts. Most of the time, it amazed her. It inspired her. She was motivated and hardworking, but she was nothing compared to the human tornado that was Sam. He ripped through life, absorbing it’s essence, taking in every experience, always learning from them and then finding a reason to give, everywhere, to everyone. It’s like he had so much inside of him that he had to keep giving things away so he didn’t explode or combust. He gave everything, except that part of him that was secret, guarded, hidden away from everyone, even his closest friends.

How had she come to know about that part of him? She told herself that she saw it in those eyes, that she’d read it when he looked deep into her own endless blue pools, but that wasn’t quite right. True, he had the ability to look deeply into everyone he met, not that he always chose to do so, but she was pretty sure that not everyone who got seared by his gaze saw what she saw. Anyway, it was more like she absorbed it, rather than saw it. She didn’t see his soul, she simply knew it. She couldn’t explain it, but it was a part of her, as soon as she became aware of its existence. Like there was a void in her that she’d never even paid attention to. It didn’t hurt; she wasn’t searching for a way to fill it. In fact, she’d never even noticed it until one day, one instant it was filled and she had a sure knowledge that she had always been waiting for it to be filled – that with this completion deep within herself, she would never be the same, and it could never be undone. If she ever tried to explain this, even to her dearest friends, they would laugh and pretend to gag at the sappiness of the description, just as she would if one of them tried to tell her the same. She was far too sophisticated to believe that souls, if they even existed, could connect like that, in some crazy, instantaneous love bond. That wasn’t possible.

Except it was.

She’d kissed him, already knowing. She’d actually had her eyes open. She watched his lips, full and soft, parted ever so slightly, pause just a breath away from her own, his fugitive tongue flicking out ever so briefly over his bottom lip. Was it a nervous response? No matter, she found it endearing and erotic and she wanted more than just a flicker of that tongue. As heat started to spark and shimmer inside her, he touched her and his lips were as delicious as they looked. She’d been mad to find out how he tasted. Oh, how he tasted. Sweet and rich, warm sunshine and the sharp tang of, what? Vinegar, citrus? He was mellow and spicy with just enough salt to bloom the flavors. He tasted like nothing on earth she had ever experienced, and she could kiss him, taste him, his lips, his skin, is essence every day and never tire of it. To her, Sam tasted like forever.  The kiss was slow and so sweet. Not tentative, but methodical, searching, seeking, learning. The heat that flashed and sizzled followed the new pathways in her body, the ones that had been forged when she had first smelled him and been forever altered.

She was hot and dizzy, her brain a jumble of muzzy half thoughts when Sam had stopped kissing her, moving to nuzzle her neck, just beyond her jawbone, and whispered her name, 'Caitriona’, with such raw sexual urgency that every nerve in her body exploded and she felt her legs literally go weak. But that was just lust, right? The fact that his scent and taste and touch seared her and erased the memory of any other person from her life just meant lust – didn’t it?

It was a stupid question. It was a stupid game. Sam loved those stupid games. He loved to smirk and flirt and be naughty, knowing that it would get everyone and their Aunt Fanny riled up, which did nothing but benefit the show. He loved acting just a little bit too familiar with her, knowing that it’s what everyone would be talking about as soon as the interview aired. But acting – that was the key word, wasn’t it? Sam was just acting. She was just acting.

Except they weren’t.

Caitriona had learned on that day when Sam blew into her life with destructive, bruising, tempestuous force that everything was changed. That the moment she saw him, smelled him, tasted him, felt him, she was uncontrollably and irreversibly in love. Just like that. Almost like love at first sight.


Caitriona sighed and dried her hands before leaving the ladies room. She was flustered and prickly. She was in danger of picking a fight with Sam, over nothing, simply to justify her irritable feelings. Things like this never flustered him. It was so annoying! She walked passed him towards the exit without looking at him and he jogged to catch up. He stopped her with a hand at the small of her back. She turned, brows furrowed, ready to bite, but the look on his face stopped her from lashing out. He didn’t say anything, merely opened his arms and enveloped her. His hands, his beautiful, graceful hands smoothed her hair, caressed her back, and she sighed, allowing herself to sink into the comfortable security of his embrace.

He didn’t ask. He already knew. He simply held her, and whispered into her ear, “Caitriona, don’t worry. It’s not theirs. It never will be. Even if they know, even if a hundred articles are written and the paps follow us for pictures, it will never be theirs. They can never really know. Call it love, call it lust, don’t call it anything, it’s doesn’t matter. Whether you believe in it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not, it’s real. One day, your heart will drown out your brain, and you’ll stop torturing yourself. This is love at first sight. This is forever.  In the meantime, I’m here and I love you. What you said back there is right; love does take time to grow and develop. But it doesn’t take time to exist. It existed the second I met you. Neither of us could have stopped it. Now we grow it. We nurture it. We spend the rest of our lives feeding it and then reaping the harvest.”

Caitriona hugged him closer, burying her face in the forever of his scent and his taste and his feel. Love at first sight did exist. It was real. She could never answer the whys. Why it happened to her. Why she got to have this man, in this life. Why she got to know him so completely and be known by him in the same way. Maybe one day she could be as carefree and unquestioning as Sam, but for now she would give him all her worries and he would carry them – for as long as she needed. And when she finally got to that place where forever didn’t terrify her, and love at first sight could exist without justification, he would be there, and he would still love her. And that, she knew, was what love at first sight really was. It was love forever.

things i love(d) about you;

i. the creases around your eyes - they’d deepen every time i made you smile. it served as the perfect frame around your lively eyes. and like a painting, i felt you staring even when i looked away.

ii. every time you laughed - melodic music to my ears whenever i told a stupid joke. your laugh sounds like hope, the promise that tomorrow will come with the chance to try again. i never felt like i deserved to hear it.

iii. your gaze, when our eyes met - i don’t know how you did it, but with one look, you held the key to me. to lift me up or make my knees weak was a choice only you could make. i craved your spontaneity.

—  c.j.n.

To the three men who I had a wonderful conversation with tonight,
I’ll admit, I was a bit intimidated by the seating arrangment tonight, even though I was sitting with my family I was placed closer to you. Even though the boat got canceled due to lightening, I will never forget out conversation. I heard about your travels and your experience teaching. I heard about adventures and problems within your lives and I just took it all in. It fascinated me. Thank you for opening my mind and giving me more knowledge, even if to you it was just talking about your lives, it widened my knowledge and inspired me. I have made it my mission as a teenage girl to continue to learn and be inspired by older people that I meet along the way. So far I have heard stories from the elderly group of volunteers at the food bank I volunteer at, the older woman at the dog park, and now you, two retired teachers and one practicing. Thank you for your knowledge, and advice on a little aspect of life.

All the best,


MARVEL AU PART 3/? : I decided that it seemed appropriate that Jack would be Bruce/The Hulk not just because of the green hair but because of how on camera, people see him as the loud yelling green dude, whereas off camera and in person they see the quieter, caring and thoughtful side to him. <3 @wiishugifs

Book Recommendations

Note: these books do not compare to the Throne of Glass series or A Court of Mist and Fury, they are just the next best thing.

- The Falconer by Elizabeth May
- The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout
- Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton
- Under the Never Sky by Veronica Rossi
- Defiance by C.J. Redwine
- Stolen Songbird by Danielle L. Jensen
- Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

Je vous ai dit que j’avais fini ? Non ? Bah j’ai fini. C’est parti chez l’imprimeur, on attend les épreuves pour rajouter deux-trois petits détails et après hop, c’est parti, pour de bon. J’ai une séance photo prévue dans deux semaines pour la quatrième de couv’, comme les grands, et je me pisse dessus de trouille et d’excitation et de hâte et d’appréhension. 

Vivement le 17 mai.

anonymous asked:

Knowing that Frisk is part penguin, it is highly likely that they were the ones who tripped over the curb with a l l t h a t a p p l e j u i c e

why do I get the feeling that Frisk has been banned from most convenience stores by the time they’re an adult anyway

they strike me as the type who maybe wouldn’t start a shopping cart race but who would certainly end one, many times, in every nearby store, until Toriel can no longer bring 1/3 of her children grocery shopping, ever

it would primarily be Sans and Undyne’s faults, of course, but unfortunately Frisk is not exempt from blame, maybe because they are usually the one who demands things go from a mere race to a battle

battle with shopping carts, is not allowed

anonymous asked:

No one lies like Cersei, manipulates like Cersei. No one ruins her twin brother's life like Cersei. Because if Jaime and Brienne are beauty and the beast then Cersei is Gaston. And also yes j/c is complrtely unhealthy.

ANON THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING QUESTION I EVER RECEIVED I AM SCREENCAPPING IT AND PUTTING IT ON MY BIO ILU AND I 100% AGREE XDDDD OH MY GOD I AM DYING tho now it opens interesting openings bc if jaime is belle it works out but if BRIENNE is belle it’s a whole new level of interesting xDDDDD anyway ilu bless this ask forever in the centuries

anonymous asked:

Coïncidence troublante, j'ai également été le témoin de mon premier rêve politique: je lisais dans le journal que Macron et Fillon étaient les deux candidats finaux et Fillon s'était fait exécuté (dans le sens guillotiné oui oui). Et comme il était mort Macron était élu par défaut. En me réveillant j'ai cru que c'était vrai imagine

Pinaise, c’est hardcore. 

I chose to be silent about the way I feel about you. It’s not because I don’t have courage to tell you so but because of the circumstances. You are definitely happy with the company of someone else. You two don’t have a label yet but you are already happy with each other. It seems that both of you are meant for each other. My energy is being drained every time you are with someone else. I stayed back, believing in a chance that will never come. But I am contented. I am happy for you. Your happiness is my happiness. Hiding your feelings isn’t the way out, but sometimes, it’s the only thing you can do.
—  c.i.j.

J'ai cru que j'allais vomir sur ma prof. Par chance mon petit déjeuné à attendu que je sois aux toilettes pour ressortir par là où il était entré. De toute façon je n'avais pas prévu de passer la journée au lycée, j'étais juste venu pour le contrôle de techno (que j'ai foiré)… Dès que deux élèves de ma casse sont arrivé ce matin, je me suis sentie mal. Oppressée​, j'avais la cage thoracique écrasé, je ne sais pas pourquoi… J'étais très irritable aussi, j'ai dû prendre sur moi pour pas répondre de manière insolente à ma prof de techno quand elle a fait une remarque sur le vide sur ma copie.
Du coup je me suis cassée à 10h20, je suis rentrée​ chez moi. Puis j'ai reçu ça… C'est de J, la déléguée. Sur le coup j'ai eux les larmes aux yeux, je ne sais pas pourquoi, pourtant j'aime pas qu'elle m'appelle mon chou louloute ou autre, elle à juste 10 mois de plus que moi, pas 4 ans de plus…
Mais du coup je sais même pas quoi lui répondre. Je lui dis que je suis malade? Que je me sens pas bien dans la classe? Je ferme ma gueule à nouveau? Je sais pas. Je crois que ma gastro est aussi psychosomatique, virale, mais psychosomatique aussi…

“Si les preguntaras ahora a los creyentes, creo que todos te dirán lo mismo. “¡Ojalá pudiera vivir mi juventud de nuevo!” “¡Ojalá hubiera vivido el principio de mi vida en una manera mejor! ¡Ojalá no hubiera formado malos hábitos en la primavera de mis años!” Joven, si puedo, quiero ahorrarte este pesar. El infierno mismo es una verdad que muchos conocen cuando ya es demasiado tarde. Sé sabio a tiempo. Lo que en la juventud siembras, en la vejez cegarás. No le des la época más preciosa de tu vida a lo que no te confortará en tu final.”

- J. C. Ryle [Pensamiento para jóvenes: Una exhortación. Capítulo 1, página 11].