this week’s outfit of the day post : River Island sleeveless white bodycon dress with front zipper (uk 16), metal cuff (from India), Asos clutch, white faux leather heels


weekend looks :
1) River Island crop top, Cotton On black leggings, H&M boots
2) F21 Striped peplum top, Cotton On baroque leggings, Rubi loafers, Lovisa earrings

The first look was to take up Skorch magazine’s crop top challenge. It felt good baring to bare, like a new milestone! The second look is my spin off for the previous ootd post. You’ll notice that I do that a lot - one statement piece, 2 looks.

WELL #traffic was a bitch ( #learntodrive) but luckily my @mielleehair extensions and new #tiara (a gift from @usurper_photography) helped make me feel like a pretty #princess all the way home! #JNT #JinNTonic #carselfie #iwearwhatiwant #mermaid #tealhair #extensions #blondebabe #selfie #misstoxicstyles

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Self-employed: Harder than you think

Being self-employed is fucking hard. Even though I grew to eventually despise the hospitality/restaurant/retail world that previously gave me employment, sometimes I think being self-employed is harder. It’s like being the super of an apartment building: you have to communicate with a lot of people and try to make them happy without being an asshole (like when I want to tell people who want a “certain kind” of print fabric with which I’ll make their shirt that I really should charge them $17/hr for looking online for their perfect print, and if they want a fabric that specific, they should just find and order it themselves and have it delivered to my door). You have to fix mechanical/electrical problems or hire someone to fix it for you, because that’s the only way it’ll get fixed. You have to come up with capital up front for improvements and new fixtures.  You have to take care of a million different tiny things that all add up to being a whole lot. As a self-employed seamstress/clothing designer, it’s my duty to:

Design the clothes

Make the pattern and test for fit (takes a few tries)

Grade the patterns (make into bigger and smaller sizes)

Find/choose/buy fabric

Find/choose/buy upcyclable pieces and bike inner tubes

Scrub, cut, and sew together inner tubes

Find/choose/buy supplies

Organize patterns/fabric/supplies

Cut fabric

Sew pieces together

Design/order business cards, hang tags, clothing labels, banners, flyers, etc.

Find/buy necessary items for live vending: tent, racks, table(s), hangers, folding chair, mannequins, display signs, containers for wares, etc.

Create website

Create and maintain social networking accounts through which I can promote myself

Take/model pictures

Edit pictures

Upload pictures and create listings

Communicate with potential clients

Wait in post office line for shipping

Go networking

Be my own accountant

Deal with logistics like renting cars for vending gigs, finding and applying for appropriate vending gigs

Communicate with vending coordinators

Promote vending events

Pay the vending fee upfront–live vending is always risky because we never know if we’ll make our up-front costs back

Learn to take apart my sewing machines and troubleshoot

Research more industrial machines

Get machines serviced when all else fails

Be my own damn cheerleader on those days when everything seems way too hard

Be my own boss, which entails both telling myself to get to work AND telling myself to take a break (the latter is actually way harder).

That’s all I can think of right now. That’s all without guaranteed pay, benefits, 401K, retirement fund..and of course, there’s the fact that beyond all that, there is still everything else in life that requires your attention. however, there are also some major upsides to being self-employed:

Wearing pajamas ALL DAY and still getting work done

Drinking wine at lunch

Having time to work in the vegetable garden

Getting lovin’ in the afternoon

Finally having the time and opportunity to experiment with your food intake and seeing what it is that makes you feel so gross all the time (in my case, gluten)

Being able to use the bathroom WHENEVER I NEED TO

Being able to eat WHENEVER I WANT TO

Jumping up from a project and dancing because the song on Pandora is freaking awesome and makes you want to shake what yer mamma gave ya

Not having to plaster a fake smile on your face all the time (as if you really gave a shit what kind of wine someone wanted to drink with lunch)

Never getting a lecture from a manager

Never being called names by your manager

Never having to ask for time off

Never having to explain sick days

Not having to worry about getting up “on time” if I can’t fall asleep till 4 in the morning

Not having to wear makeup to look “work-ready”

Not having to wear a uniform

I started my business when I was still employed by a restaurant, but really kicked it into high gear when they let me go. At that time I was 2 grand in debt with a borrowed serger and had never done a live vending gig in my life. I’m still not self sufficient, but I’m out of debt and doing what I love versus doing what society tells me I can do.

I think the pros outweigh the cons, though it’s still a hard and scary thing to take on. Infinitely more satisfying, though. (-: