I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was really in love with my ex-boyfriend. I loved him so much that it hurt to be away from him. Deep within my chest. And it hurt even worse when he decided that I wasn’t worth the trouble.
I think he was really in love with me for a little while too, but it just wore off. He didn’t fight for me. He stopped loving me. He stopped trying to make any of it work. And then he left. I don’t think I’ll ever truly recover from that. Even almost a year later.
And I’m not sure I can ever let someone into my heart in the same way again. It still hurts.
The fact that love can fade terrifies me to no end. I don’t want to be the one who loves more. Who feels more. That’s such a terrible way to be. The powerless one.
I want to be madly in love with someone who is madly in love with me. And we remain as such, for the rest of our lives.