ive been writing a lot lately

I’ve been toying with the idea for a long time that some of the things Yuuri says, especially in the first couple episodes, are not exactly the truth and should be looked into farther. Honestly, we knew Yuuri was unreliable the moment the show opened–he referred to himself as “dime-a-dozen,” when he is literally the only male skater certified by the JSF within canonverse. 

And he made it to the GPF, you know? He’s one of the top 6 skaters in the world, right off the bat! It took us a few episodes to understand Yuuri’s character to realize the context of these statements, but we figured out pretty early on that Yuuri is the embodiment of Unreliable Narrator™. Especially after ep10, jfc. 

Anyway, why I’m bringing this up is because Kubo seemed to confirm a little theory of mine I’ve had stewing for a while and I wanted to share it with you.

So. Episode 1. The commemorative photo scene. 

I wanna first establish that this scene took place before the banquet. During the series run, sometime just afterwards, and occasionally even now there’s debate over when that scene took place. It wouldn’t make sense to happen after the banquet because they’re not only still wearing the team jackets, but they’re also wearing passes

The outside sign has information about the competition 

and Victor is talking to Yuri about his routines

which he probably wouldn’t do if it was up to a day later. 

We know how the rest of the scene goes. Victor seems to not recognize Yuuri at all, mistakes him for a fan, asks if he wants a photo, and then Yuuri leaves, thoroughly humiliated. Or, at least, that’s Yuuri’s version of what happened. I think generally everything that was said got said, all the movements and series of events were the same, but the implications of the offer were different. 

I have multiple anxiety disorders. When I remember something that I felt was a misstep or caused embarrassment, I always remember it slightly off. A person’s tone is more mocking or condescending, my reaction is worse than it was. There’s a lot of shame when it comes to anxiety and your mind immediately assumes you’re viewed to be–and are–on a lower pedestal than everyone else. Yuuri, clearly, has severe anxiety, so I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to think that, since this is from his perspective, maybe reality is a bit different than what he is able to give us. 

Anyway, my thoughts had no basis, so I’ve kept them to myself, but then Kubo came out and said this:

and then the fanbase lit up in flames because Victor know Yuuri was a fan before the banquet. But this also implies one thing I got super excited about: Victor has seen him skate, before the commemorative photo scene. 

meaning that everyone’s preconception that Victor mistook Yuuri for a fan has been completely blown out of the water. 

So, why would Victor ask him about a photo then? 

I think it’s important to keep in mind that Victor likes to make people feel good about their abilities. He likes teaching others, and he likes motivating them too. He gets pleasure out of seeing people rise to their potential. 

Although he’s flighty and kind of an airhead, and tends to ignore what he doesn’t find interesting, I don’t think Victor would ignore the scorings or the competitors landing below 3rd place. Victor clearly knew that Yuuri fell to last place, hard. This is just speculation, but maybe Yuri mentioned to Victor the incident with Yuuri crying in the bathroom. Or, perhaps Victor had already seen the press about Yuuri: he’s notorious for losing his nerve during competitions and failing to meet his potential. When Yuuri goes down, he tends to crash and burn. 

(also honda’s words imply yuuri usually performs very well)

Victor likes making people happy and better versions of themselves. Now he’s faced with the competitor who fell to last place, staring at him a few feet away. A competitor who is known for his anxiety and tendency to shy away from others. A competitor who just so happens to be a fan. So, what is Victor to do to help Yuuri feel better, or even open up a bit?

Initiate conversation. Try to reel him in to interacting with an open, non-threatening question and a tried-and-true welcoming smile. 

“Commemorative Photo?”

Victor didn’t mistake Yuuri for a non-competing fan, he knew who Yuuri was and was just trying his best to make Yuuri feel better. Victor, as we’ve seen throughout the series, resorts to giving comfort through action rather than words first and foremost. Unfortunately for him, this is not what Yuuri needs. 

It backfired. But I think Victor had good intentions. They were strangers so it’s not like Victor could just walk up and start a motivating speech. He tried to invite Yuuri to talk to him, someone Yuuri looked up to, and maybe they could talk and Victor could brighten his day? 

Victor wasn’t very tactile, and Yuuri didn’t stand his ground and identify himself, so they got nowhere with that. 

I’m so glad Kubo said this. This face looks like a combination of surprise and disappointment, perhaps not only in Yuuri rejecting him but also in himself for not being able to help.

and this face 

looks more concerned and surprised that Yuuri showed rather than like “oh shit, he’s a competitor.”

Poor Yuuri. Poor Victor. They really need to communicate better. 

OTP Idea #881

Imagine Person A constantly finding excuses to sleep in Person B’s bed, from “storms scare me,” to “it’s too cold to sleep alone tonight.”

Theory:

Anathema was written by Josh.

I know it sounds like some random theory, but keep reading.

A while back, I read a story that someone who met Josh posted. She wrote a detailed account of seeing him in a diner, giving him a letter, and having him write out some words from Anathema. the end of the story, she mentioned that Josh told her he had come up with the title for the song. Obviously this doesn’t mean he had written it, but several times Josh and Tyler have said that they write the poetry that contributed to the songs together, so there is a high chance.

Secondly, examine the lyrics. The whole song is about an affliction of the mind, and how the songwriter wishes it would go away. How it tortures them and takes something away. The lyrics in these songs are something that I, and anyone with anxiety, can strongly relate to. We know that Josh struggles with anxiety. While I don’t know exactly what he has been through, or is going through, I know that the lyrics are something that those who worry can relate to.

Josh also used to sing backup for this song. He doesn’t do this for every song, and obviously he had such a connection with it that he took the time to learn the lyrics. We know Josh struggles with being the center of the attention and is insecure about his voice. My guess is that this song meant a lot to him - enough for him to use his voice in it.

Finally, the last piece of evidence I’ve come up with:

We all know that in the live version of Anathema, the stage goes dark and Tyler gets on the drums and raps. Josh disappears. Like always, the attention is gravitated towards Tyler. But why? Isn’t Josh capable of drumming by himself and carrying the song? My theory is that in this moment, Tyler is standing in place of, or representing, Josh. Josh struggles with anxiety and insecurity, so Tyler takes his place to show a moment of transparency to the crowd. Through Tyler, Josh expresses what he’s going through and what the song means to him. Why else would Tyler be on the drums while rapping?

This theory could very well be incorrect, and have nothing to do with Josh, but you can’t deny there is some valid points.

(every time a song is played live by twenty one pilots, there is someone in the audience that the very song means the world to them)

Reminder. If you’re rping a canon character and feeling insecure about your writing, or fearing replacement, simply remember that your muse is not just a duplicate. No one else will be able to breathe life into that character the way you do. No one else will feel the exact way you feel about your muse. There will be people who value your muse and never stop writing with you no matter what. There will be people who appreciate your portrayal, no matter how many other versions are out there. Always remember why you made your blog. Never let anyone or anything cast your passion out of your heart !!

HC where Quill asked Mantis to never ever touch Tony unless Tony specifically asked her to and if he did to never let Quill and the other knows what Tony feels unless Tony said so. Quill said it’s for Tony’s privacy and well-being. Drax knows Quill’s just afraid to learn how Tony strongly feels about the Captain even if Quill and Tony had been dancing around.

There’s this beautiful thing about writing: whatever you’re writing can only be written now.

You could take the same premise, the same plot, the same characters, and if you’re writing it weeks, months or years from now it will still be different because you are different and the world around you is constantly changing.

Writing reflects what’s going on in your mind, in your life. What you’re dealing with now - whether it’s a struggle or a dream - will be different in each new moment. Your influences will change. The person you saw at the bus stop today who made you think about loneliness in a different way won’t be there tomorrow, and that thought will never make it into your book if you’re not there in that second to see it.

Writing is an ordered reflection of your messy - often indefinable - thoughts frozen in time. Others may not recognize the pieces of you in there at all, but you can look back on your words and remember what you were feeling, even if you didn’t know what it was until it was over.

Neil Gaiman said that fiction is the lie that tells the truth. He meant it for the ways that writers use fiction to explore who we are, but I think one of the most powerful ways it does this is when it takes the writer by surprise and they remember being in a moment they didn’t notice until it passed by.

My whole world could come crashing down tomorrow
And I’m really not prepared to handle that


If that’s the news I get
I don’t  know how I’ll be able to move forward


Currently, I’m moving at a never-ending crawl
But I could end up frozen in time with no sense of direction


What am I going to do if my world becomes unimaginably small and definite?

Dear Lover,

1. You need to know that I will love you through literally everything.
You did something wrong? It’s okay, people make mistakes, it’s what makes us human and I want to help you grow from it. No matter what you did, you will learn from it and I will forgive you but more importantly, I will help you forgive yourself.
You reached success with something? I’m so proud of you. I will help you feel proud of yourself, pride in yourself is important. No matter how small your success you deserve praise.

2. Please please please talk to me. I know this is very vague but that’s really all there is. If something excites you and you think of telling me about it, do it. Your happiness makes me happy and the smallest details in your life, joyous or sorrowful, are important to me. I will always care about what you have to say.

3. Never ever ever feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to around me. If you are ever uncomfortable in any situation I will help you become comfortable. Your needs are important, even if that need is for me to go away. My only request is that you let me know what’s going on so I understand.

4. All I could really ask of you is your honesty. Anything you tell me will be appreciated if it’s said honestly. Even if it’s negative. Yes, the truth can hurt sometimes but at the end of the day the fact that you chose to be honest with me will help me to forgive, love, and trust you more.

5. All of these things I will do for you as well. With two people there are two parts and to expect you to hold up your end of the deal without doing the same has never seemed right to me. There is work involved. Please hold up your end so I can hold up mine.

6. I am still learning a lot of this. We can learn together. No matter how long or short our time in life together, we can learn from each other.

—  Letters to My Lover, 6 Things I Need You to Know. By d-earvincent.

11.18.17 // mm im not sure why im posting a ¾ finished spread but?? i need to print out more pics for my journal but i have  n o  t i m e  /crying/ ive been so unfocused bc of personal issues lately and i just,,, wish trivial things didn’t affect me so much?? like i tend to give off disinterested & cold vibes when really i actually care a lot and im cold bc i don’t know how to deal with warmth. anyways, this week’s spread features one of my fave colors & lots of iwaoi (+ me being too lazy to write out ‘november’)!!

ig: bionctes

Destined Encounter

And a HAAAAAAAAAPPY belated BIRTHDAY TO MY HOMEGURL @silverbuttercups NYAHAHAHAHA IM MANY DAYS LATE BUT DOES THT EVER STOP ME????? NO.

 The first time I met you, I hated your guts.

 “Good job, sweetie!” Her praises felt like acid dripping into his ears.

 “I can’t believe we’ve won our first battle!” Her statement felt like fire scorching in his heart.

 He only stood there a few steps away, hands roughly clenched into fists and toes curled inside his shoes. The crimson bangs of his hair shielded the pure fury that had long seared in a pair of silver irises. In and out he tried to breathe properly. In and out each attempt ended in seething, uneven failure.

 “Hey, you!”

 White teeth gritted madly once her voice rang at him.

Dull nails dug deep into the skin of his palms, he finally shot his head up and glared at the disgusting excuse of a trainer.

 …Or was about to, until shock widened his eyes at the sight of an outstretched hand and a sweet smile.

 “That was a great battle!”

 It was sickening. Her enthusiasm was utterly, completely sickening.

Keep reading

Nohrian Sibling Headcanons (+ Corrin)
  • Growing up, Corrin (and the Northern Fortress where they lived) was sort of a safe haven for all of them.
    • The Nohrian Court in Windmire was a cutthroat place and because of their status as princes and princesses, the Nohrian siblings were all expected to play the court’s political games from a pretty young age. That, on top of Garon’s expectations for them, made Castle Krakenberg a very high-stress place to be. 
    • So, all four of them used visiting/training with Corrin as an excuse to get away from the capital for a while. Visiting their other sibling was one of the few escapes from the capital that Garon would almost always agree to, and on top of that, it never made any of them seem weaker politically. 
  • Corrin was aware their siblings sometimes came to them as an escape, and did their best to foster a peaceful, stress-free environment whenever they were around, even though most of their siblings would never admit to needing the rest.
  • Corrin was a habitual letter writer and even though they understood that their siblings (especially Xander) did not always have the time to write them back, they sent at least one letter a week to everyone, without fail. 
    • The letters often contained poems and bits of prose that Corrin was working on.
    • Camilla saved every letter that Corrin ever sent her. She keeps the letters with poems in a special chest in her room, as those ones are her favorite.
    • It was a secret between Leo and Corrin, but sometimes when Leo would write back, he would include some of his own poems for Corrin to enjoy. Leo was much too embarrassed about them to ever discuss them in person, however, and if someone brought them up, he would always deny that they existed at all.
    • Elise actually learned to read using some of Corrin’s letters. Long before she was old enough to make the journey to the Northern Fortress herself, Corrin wrote her letters that Camilla would read to her. Eventually, Elise was so determined to read the letters herself that she taught herself how to read at a fairly young age.
  • Corrin taught themselves how to play the piano by ear, after listening to Gunther play on a few occasions.
    • Once she was old enough to visit Corrin, Elise would bring her violin with her and the two of them would play duets together and sometimes hold little concerts for their other siblings and Felicia, Jakob, and Gunter.
  • On holidays, at least one of the siblings would always come visit Corrin. It was rare that all four of them could get away, but someone would always make sure that Corrin had family around for every occasion.

ihateblocks  asked:

Aja, Krel, and Steve's reactions to Eli being trans(because I'm a hoe for trans!Eli).

listen trans Eli is absolutely amazing, 10/10, perfection, also this kinda turned into ideas for how he comes out as well oops 

  • Steve finds out about it first on accident
    • Eli’s relatives are visiting town and when Steve comes over to Eli’s house, he hears someone calling Eli “Leslie” 
    • he waits for like a minute outside the door before knocking because when he peeks through the window Eli looks upset
    • long story short he kinda rescues Eli from having to deal with his relatives 
    • when he asks what that was all about Eli pauses before mumbling about “not being out to my cousins yet” 
    • it takes Steve a minute to get it but when he finally does he just hugs Eli and says that he’s here for him
    • later he apologizes specifically for having called Eli “Leslie” when he was bullying him (alongside the other apologies for pretty much everything)
  • Aja and Krel find out about it when they’re all on a mission doing something and Eli gets hurt
    • nothing serious, he like falls down a hill or something and gets cut up by pebbles or something 
    • but there’s a gash on his side that they insist on checking out because “what if it gets infected, we just have to make sure it’ll be alright”
    • he’s hesitant about it because he wants to just get on with what they were doing but he lets them patch it up
    • once they’re done Aja asks why he was wearing that undershirt, isn’t it too hot outside? 
    • Steve’s about to jump in and say it’s none of their business but Eli stops him and explains that it’s a binder
    • they’re both super supportive of course
    • Krel asks him if Eli would be okay with him designing a better binder for him that would be safer to wear for longer
    • Aja decides to learn more about issues Eli might face so she can help defend him when the time comes
    • they’re both always willing to learn more to help their friend
  • all of them are super helpful and supportive and stand up for him and even though Eli has to deal with a lot of stuff they’re always there for him

She smothers my face in kisses, her lipstick leaving prints of her soft lips on my skin. I try to hold back my giggles, fearing her parents might hear. She doesn’t seem to care, her only goal to rid my soul of the sadness that consumes it wholly.

  My heart threatens to burst. I will time to stop. I want to fall asleep here tonight, wrapped in each other’s arms, never letting go.


Is this what love feels like?

—  Yasmin Ali

so, like:

mccree finds out that hanzo actually loves halloween, its something that hanzo discovered after leaving the clan and being on the run, its a time of year where he can be anyone & satisfy his huge sweet tooth, so mccree devises a plan to seduce hanzo with halloween things. 

the major one being his rendition of “casper the friendly ghost” by replacing the lyrics with stuff about hanzo, and he calls it “hanzo the unfriendly ghost” because he’s not gonna beat around the bush about that - hanzo isn’t mean per se, but he isn’t friendly. other lines in the song include: “the most beautiful ghost around” “likes to fright adults and children alike” “cowboys he has a heart of gold” and everyone is just like omg this is never gonna work. they especially believe this because mccree is t e r r i b l e at singing - it does not stop him.

so it works. and hanzo’s all heart eyes over this buffoon who keeps singing this stupid song, but its the sweetest and most wholesome gesture hanzo has ever received while being courted/wooed. and he insists that mccree continue to sing the song to him whenever he wants even after they get together. mccree takes time to make up or improvise other songs so hanzo can have a whole playlist.