ive been meaning to do this

the roundabout way | 27k | venom/eddie, anne/dan | complete

In which Venom and Eddie navigate their new living situation and both attempt to court the other, with varying degrees of success.

(You are trying to impress us, or entertain us. You want to surprise us. The symbiote gave a happy, flattered noise and nuzzled up beneath his heart. But we do not know why you think something that doesn’t mean anything to you would mean something to us.
“Oh,” Eddie said, feeling very stupid. “Oh.”)

anonymous asked:

hello! i have a question about “self-defilement” aka u know masturbation lol. i’m a practicing mormon, but i also masturbate because it makes me feel good and gives me the boost of dopamine/serotonin that i sometimes need. is it breaking the law of chastity and if so do i need to confess it to my bishop? i have never had sex with anyone in any fashion and personally i reaaaally don’t want to tell my bishop (an older obviously white male) that ive been wanking it (as i’m a younger woman)

Is masturbation breaking the law of chastity?

There is a section of gospel topics on lds.org where you can get a brief overview of our church’s beliefs. 

Chastity is one of the topics. “Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage.” This is a good definition and is pretty much how it’s explained in the temple. This page also says homosexuality is a sin (the implication is this is true regardless of whether married to the other person). 

The page goes on to say that to help us abstain from sex before marriage, we should avoid things things that awaken our sexual feelings. These things are not called out as sins, but as things to avoid, such as controlling our thoughts, staying away from porn, and not doing the following with a person we aren’t married to: “passionate kissing, lying with or on top of another person, or touching the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing.” 

This page on chastity doesn’t even mention masturbation. 


Brief history of church’s teachings about masturbation

Jesus and the ancient prophets and apostles never once mention masturbation in The Bible, Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price or D&C.  

This wikipedia page is a good source for the history of the LDS Church’s views and statements on masturbation. Here’s a few highlights:

Joseph Smith and Brigham Young never broached the topic. Ever. So, for a very long time the church was not anti-masturbation in any detectable way.

Church leaders only began talking about it in the very late 1800’s when they told youth the same false medical information that was popular at the time - that it caused insanity. These leaders also worried masturbation was why so many young men weren’t married. 

In the 1920′s & 1930′s, it was widely understood that people did not go insane from masturbation and church manuals did not forbid it. 

The Kinsey reports of 1948 & 1953 showed masturbation was extremely common. In response, church leaders in the 1950′s began speaking out more forcefully against masturbation. It also started being mentioned in General Conference talks.

In the 1960′s research showed masturbation is common and normal and rarely has negative consequences, it’s an important part of sexual development. In 1972 the American Medical Association declared masturbation to be a normal behavior. This resulted in many more addresses by church apostles against the behavior, including speaking against the medical profession’s acceptance of it. 

In 1980 Spencer W. Kimball, president of the church, says masturbation can lead to homosexuality.

In the 1990 For the Strength of Youth states the “Lord specifically forbids … masturbation”

In the 2000′s the rhetoric starts to soften. For the Strength of Youth is changed to remove “masturbation,” but says not to arouse sexual feelings in one’s own body. 

In 2017, Sam Young learned his daughter had been regularly subjected to sexually explicit questions from age 12 to 17. He began a campaign to safeguard children and curtail the asking of questions of a sexual nature by bishops. In response, the church instructs bishops “to not be unnecessarily probing or invasive in their questions.“


If it is against the law of chastity, is it something I must confess to a bishop? 

As I indicated above, masturbation is absent from the scriptures or on important church sites about chastity. However, it’s clear the church has long taught masturbation is a sin and a violation of the Law of Chastity. 

If you feel “guilty, unsettled, unhappy, or even miserable” then speak with your bishop. Your own conscience is your guide. One benefit of speaking to a bishop about any sin or possible wrongdoing is sometimes it’s difficult to forgive ourselves, so having someone in a position of authority say you’ve done enough and you’re forgiven can be helpful. 

My current calling gives me access to the church’s Handbook 1 which specifically states that a disciplinary council should not be called for pornography use or masturbation. In other words, they are not major sins. It is possible that a Bishop could enact some sort of informal probation.

When you feel the Spirit, then you’ve been forgiven or are being made clean, or don’t have a major sin you need to repent of “for the Spirit cannot dwell in an unholy tabernacle


What is my opinion about it?

The temple defines the Law of Chastity as “no sexual relations except with their husbands or wives to whom they are legally and lawfully wedded.” 

“Relations” takes more than one person, therefore, in my mind, masturbation is not banned. Btw, I also think the temple definition includes sex for a gay couple who is married. 

It’s difficult for our church to change positions because it means saying past prophets and apostles were wrong. I believe this is why it took until 1978 for the church to remove the priesthood ban from people of African descent. I think this also explains why it holds so stubbornly to its prohibition on masturbation and against accepting homosexuality or recognizing transgender individuals. 

Christ taught “by their fruits ye shall know them”.The church’s campaign against a normal and healthy practice yields primarily negative “fruit.” Masturbation, on the other hand, yields an immense amount of positive results within marriage and especially for those like you and me who are not in a relationship. 

Orgasm has been shown to help with relieving stress, aiding with pain (especially helpful for menstrual cramping), regulation of hormones and prevention of certain cancers.”   

Our marital status does not change the fact we are people with sexual needs and drives – which are God given. Be willing to trust yourself. 


What if a bishop asks about masturbation? 

I’m in my forties, so I grew up at a time when anti-masturbation rhetoric in church was at its peak. I’m certain most men who are bishops grew up with this being drilled into them. 

I recently attended a bishops council on the topic, my stake president counseled the bishops to read with the interviewee the chastity section in For the Strength of Youth before asking if the individual obeyed the law of chastity. If the interviewee answers that live the law of chastity, there shouldn’t be additional, probing questions. To my stake president’s credit, he also said the bishops should never make any blanket statement against a female touching or exploring herself, that it’s necessary and important, particularly because of menstruation, that they be familiar with their body. 

Unfortunately the bishops’ responses showed they were very keen to want to be able to ask teenagers about masturbation, including frequency and in what circumstances. 

If you find yourself being asked such questions and you do not want to answer, try saying “I’m not sure you should ask that.” If the bishop says he must ask, let him know you feel uncomfortable and would like another adult to join you in the room. He may feel entitled to ask, and you also are free to say you answered the question about the Law of Chastity and that should be sufficient. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think confession and repentance can be extremely healing. However, confession of a sin should be voluntary, but my experience of youth interviews is they sometimes felt like an inquisition. 

thenightsmellsofjasmine  asked:

Hi! We know Aegon IV started the rumors about Daeron's legitilimacy circa 174, when they argued about Dorne. We also know that Brynden was born in 175, and he was the third child, meaning his sister was born in 173. That means Melissa Blackwood was mistress in 174. Do you think Aegon wanted to set Naerys aside and marry her (she was his most beloved mistress after all), and this was partially (other than Dorne) the reason why he started the rumors about Daeron?

No, I would not. I don’t believe Aegon IV really wanted to be married to anyone. I tend to think that, having been just old enough to remember his mother leaving him for Lys and never seeing her again, Aegon came to believe from an early age that all women were inherently faithless and should always be abandoned before they abandoned him. His firsthand experiences of marriage I think only underlined for Aegon that marriage was a bad bargain, not a state he wished for himself: not only had his own parents’ marriage foundered badly, but he himself had been forced to marry a woman who both was his opposite in virtually every respect and demonstrated by her deep piety that she was committed to be faithful even to as horrible a husband as Aegon. A play marriage might suffice, as he had with Megette the blacksmith’s wife, but this attachment went only so far; Aegon had all the power to leave Megette as he pleased (and, given that she seems to have been almost constantly pregnant for the duration of their affair, I would fully expect he was sleeping with other women during their “marriage”), returning when he liked to enjoy the fantasy of domesticity she offered. The idea of being bound to only one woman was, I think, totally anathema to Aegon.

These feelings I think were heightened after the dismissal of Barba Bracken. Barba had been ambitious in a way none of his previous mistresses (with the possible exception of Falena Stokeworth) seems to have been; her eyes were firmly on the throne, her desire no less than to become a queen and mother to a future king. Even if Aegon had never seriously intended on marrying his teenage mistress, he could have appreciated how much Barba and the Bracken faction had wanted to gain power through him. They had forced him (in Aegon’s mind) into a difficult, uncomfortable position - having to bend to the voices of his much-hated brother and son - and all because they had wanted to use him for their own ends. Following that situation, Aegon might have decided that he never wanted a woman to even come close to having that sort of power over him again; he had to be the master of his relationships, and he would keep his mistresses firmly in the position he wanted.

Melissa was the best-loved of Aegon’s mistresses, but I think she became so because she tried very hard, and understood the limits of her position. She had to be everything Barba Bracken was not - and that included not trying to gain more for herself in power and prestige, and allying herself with the queen and heir whom Barba and the Brackens had been so eager to displace. She, I believe, kept herself in Aegon’s good graces by being outwardly loyal and submissive to him, and the king in turn I think was happy with this state of affairs - a woman who would (so he thought) submit herself to him completely, allowing him to enjoy her while not having to limit himself to her exclusively. Of course, I also think that in the end, Aegon allowed himself to be convinced that Melissa had been unfaithful to him, and that no matter what “love” he had for her, it was not enough to keep him from sending her away.

getting diagnosed with autism in your late teens or even adulthood as a girl is so angering. girls with autism get overlooked and it would be so important and good for me if i knew i have autism as a child, to know theres a reason i do everything i do, to not feel weird and alone.

i mean, yea, id still feel those things, but i would know it has a name, im not the only one who has these problems.

my psychiatrist, that ive had since i was 8, told me i showed very obvious signs of autism since i was a child, and that she didnt really think of it because “girls dont have autism that often,” and she just explained everything with other disorders.

ive always been diagnosed with adhd, and then i got gradually diagnosed with other shit, social phobia, depression, bpd, ocd, and then i got told “oh, you very obviously have autism and a lot of the things you went through were actually caused by that!” by the same doctor whos been treating me all my life.

i mean, getting diagnosed explained a lot of stuff that happened in my life, it explained the behaviour i shwoed all my life, but if i knew it when those things were going on, i would be able to get the specific help i needed instead of getting treated for all sorts of different disorders that were secondary to me


a fan: *calls jinyoung jr./junior*

Jinyoung: bitch, come again???

photo (cr.)

I’m in erasermic hell and I’m dragging y'all down with me