ive tried it

8

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

“She’s safe, just like I promised. She’s all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we’re all men of our word really… except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.”

1. You look at a map of a city you’ve never been to.
You see patterns and street names and they tell you nothing. The map remains dead, the city unknown.
2. You go to the city you’ve never been to.
It becomes a city you know.
3. You look at a map of a city you’ve been to, but have left behind. As you look at the map, you remember.
You are looking at nostalgia. You walk through street names and remember the taste of cake in the café whose name you forgot, but you remember its yellow walls and comfy chairs. A square is no longer four lines on a map, but an open space with people and statues and laughter and a fountain in the center. The monotonous, two-dimensional blue that indicates an ocean turns into postcard memories, so many shades of blue and green and the smell of salt and fish. The famous building with the famous name that everyone knows is now a personal experience, it is yours and yours alone in a way that will never make it anyone else’s. A billion feet have walked these (now familiar) paths and two of them were yours. You can trace the steps you have taken and you remember feelings and colours and strangers who offered you a smile. There is the hostel you slept in, there is the river you crossed so many times, there is the corner where you listened to the most amazing street musician. You fondly whisper street names that you had trouble pronouncing when you first spoke them, clumsily. You connect dots, and they turn to images in your head.
The map is alive, the city an old friend.
4. The map you look at is always the same; the perception is different. It is you who has changed.
—  p.s. // every time i look at a map I have a feeling that is hard to put into words

Okay consider this

Its McCrees birthday and everyone is at his house for a the party, They are having a good time then Gabriel pulls out a Ouija board from his bag and tells everyone to gather round to play it. McCree, being the biggest scaredy cat when it comes to paranormal things reluctantly sit down in the circle. He’s the birthday boy so he HAS to join in.

Everyone except for Lena, Gabriel, McCree, Hana and Jack sits out because everyone else mutually agree that they’re gonna die if they join in

Gabriel, knowing full well McCree is scared of paranormal things gets him to ask the spirits if they are here. He’s only doing it because McCree and Hana played a prank on him and Jack earlier in a week where they mixed hair dye into Jack’s shampoo. Granted he’s not complaining about his boyfriends sexy black hair now (He likes it because his boyfriend looks edgy and it’s all he’s ever wanted for him). He would NEVER use a Ouija Board in his home, fuck that, it’s only okay to do it in his adopted sons home because he’s a demon of a son so it makes sense

McCree sucks it up and they all put their hands on the planchette (The Pointer thingy) and McCree squeaks out a greeting and ask for the Spirits name, and suddenly the pointer starts to move, everyone gasps and watches with baited breathe as they watch it move  to the “H”. McCree holds his breath and tries not to laugh at his friends scaring him. Eventually it spells our “Hanzo” and McCree, albeit still spooked, but the idea of using a Ouija Board looks at Gabriel and says “Hanzo? Really, what a awfully stupid name, you could have atleast made up something better to scare me” and then Gabriel just looks at McCree his face literally just says “I’m not moving it” then suddenly the pointer jerks out of everyone’s fingers off the desk into the wall and everyone SCREAMS.

McCree lets out a loud “Oh fuck this no” and quickly puts away the Ouija board, covering it in hopes that it would make whatever spirit that they were talking to go away

After a few minutes of everyone just being shocked and spooked Gabriel squeaks out “We didn’t say goodbye to end the contract” McCree says “Well boo hoo it’s gone now, get that Ouija Board outside of my house right now, I’m NEVER letting any of you do anything like that again in my house”

———————————

Few Hours Later after everyone’s gotten drunk and forgot about the incident they leave and McCree goes and curls up in bed with a smile on his face because what a good birthday. His peaceful sleep is suddenly interrupted when he dreams of pale skin blue skin and a snarl which makes him wake up with a shout, Breathing heavily he looks up to see a figure standing in his doorway and he lets out the loudest, manliest scream he could muster as he trips and falls out of bed reaching for Peacekeeper on his bedside table.

Suddenly there’s a oddly warm hand over his mouth muffling his yelling and then he’s being pushed down onto his bed and he looks up and he’s greeted with the exact same blue skin he seen in his nightmare, swallowing while trying to gather himself he looks into his attacker’s eyes and for a second all time freezes as he looks into pale white eyes.

Coming back to his senses McCree closes his eyes and tense his body as he tries to brace himself for being ripped to shreds by a demon, because, there’s a demon holding im down staring right at him with a scowl.

Then a husky heavily accented reaches McCrees ears as said Demon says “Cease your screaming, i am here to make you end out contract so i can leave, you didnt say goodbye”

McCree nods as the hand frees his mouth and he all but squeaks “You’re not going to kill me? You’re the Hanzo? The….. demon from earlier?’ and Hanzo replied with a "Yes i am, Though i want nothing more than to punish you for insulting me earlier, i promise i will not hurt you”

Then McCree passes out

Blah blah blah he wakes up thinking it was a dream but it wasnt then he freaks out again and Hanzo promises not to hurt him again and that all he wants to do is to end their contract but informs McCree he needs the Ouija board they used because like ritual magic seal bindings voodoo voodo stuff so McCree calls up Gabriel and asks from him to bring it over without explaining it and Gabriel is like “Oh yah we kinda threw out into the river because Jack was to scared to bring it home he said he would hold of sex if i didnt get it as far away from him as possible”

Upon hearing this Hanzo gets mad and shifts into a full on terrifying demon form and McCree closes his eyes and literally almost starts crying from seeing this and Hanzo looks at the human and feels guilty. So shifts back into a less terrifying form. Hanzo says there’s no way to end the contract and that they’re stuck together unless McCree dies which McCree instantly freaks out over but Hanzo looks at him and says “Even though that’s the only way to end our contract, i cannot harm you in anyway since i promised you never bring any harm to you. Damn Hanzos pride, he’s gonna have to suck it up being attached to this his scruffy cowman until he dies, it’ll only be a few decades. He can easily deal with that. Since he’s like a thousand years old.

McCree slowly comes to terms with being actually Haunted. He buys Garlic because he things it will help protect him against Hanzo but Hanzo laughs at him then puts a entire garlic bulb in his mouth and eats it as McCree watches on in horror.

Time pases. Hanzos annoying because he’s literally always watching McCree going "Ooo What’s this” “Ahhh” “What peculiar technology” and idk McCree shows him his TV and he spends hours watching it and it’s the only time McCree has been able to get away from him. Which he defiantly doesn’t spend jerking off to a certain pale blue demon with gorgeous glowing white eyes and rippling muscles.

McCree  contacts Zenyatta whos like a exorcist or something? Idk? He can’t help though. Lame.

I ran out of ideas, You finish this AU. Bonus points if Hanzo is a succubus so he needs to have sex to feed or something and because he’s bound to McCree he’s the only person who he can be intimate with. Just as long as they “kiss kiss fall inlove”