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Practical Shakespeare Quotes

Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

can we talk about the boys first time? philip making sure lukas was okay with doing it, asking for consent twice. lukas smiling after philip kisses him. the two of them threading their fingers together. being cautious and gentle.

Yoko Ono’s “Cleaning Pieces”

CLEANING PIECE I 

Write down a sad memory. 

Put it in a box. 

Burn the box and sprinkle the ashes in the field. 

You may give some ashes to a friend who shared the sadness. 


CLEANING PIECE II 

Make a numbered list of sadness in your life. 

Pile up stones corresponding to those numbers. 

Add a stone, each time there is sadness. 

Burn the list, and appreciate the mount of stones for its beauty. 

Make a numbered list of happiness in your life. 

Pile up stones corresponding to those numbers. 

Add a stone, each time there is happiness. 

Compare the mount of stones to the one of sadness. 


CLEANING PIECE III 

Try to say nothing negative about anybody. 

a) For three days 

b) For forty-five days 

c) For three months 

See what happens to your life. 


CLEANING PIECE IV 

Write down everything you fear in life. 

Burn it. 

Pour herbal oil with a sweet scent on the ashes. 


CLEANING PIECE V 

Let a list of arbitrary names come into your mind as you go to sleep. 

Say “bless you” after each name. 

Do this with speed, by keeping a constant rhythm, so, in no way, you would hesitate to bless them.

i.
big fact- your heart never broke. you never cried over me, you never woke up at night feeling like I was missing from you, you never felt that feeling deep in your chest saying “this is wrong this is wrong she should BE here.”

ii.
another big fact- mine did. my heart did break over you, every message that wouldn’t send was like a punch to the stomach, every morning you decided I wasn’t worth it was like relearning that I meant nothing.

iii.
meaningless fact- i had a dream about you last night.

iv.
small fact- i’m never going to call you again.

v.
big fact- you don’t care anyway.

—  knowing the truth doesn’t make it any easier– lily rain
1. You look at a map of a city you’ve never been to.
You see patterns and street names and they tell you nothing. The map remains dead, the city unknown.
2. You go to the city you’ve never been to.
It becomes a city you know.
3. You look at a map of a city you’ve been to, but have left behind. As you look at the map, you remember.
You are looking at nostalgia. You walk through street names and remember the taste of cake in the café whose name you forgot, but you remember its yellow walls and comfy chairs. A square is no longer four lines on a map, but an open space with people and statues and laughter and a fountain in the center. The monotonous, two-dimensional blue that indicates an ocean turns into postcard memories, so many shades of blue and green and the smell of salt and fish. The famous building with the famous name that everyone knows is now a personal experience, it is yours and yours alone in a way that will never make it anyone else’s. A billion feet have walked these (now familiar) paths and two of them were yours. You can trace the steps you have taken and you remember feelings and colours and strangers who offered you a smile. There is the hostel you slept in, there is the river you crossed so many times, there is the corner where you listened to the most amazing street musician. You fondly whisper street names that you had trouble pronouncing when you first spoke them, clumsily. You connect dots, and they turn to images in your head.
The map is alive, the city an old friend.
4. The map you look at is always the same; the perception is different. It is you who has changed.
—  p.s. // every time i look at a map I have a feeling that is hard to put into words

Someone: hussie said all ships are canon that means i can draw porn of kanaya with guys ( :

Kanaya: What The Fuck Did You Just Fucking Say About Me You Little Bitch? Ill Have You Know I Graduated Top Of My Class In The Navy Seals And Ive Been Involved In Numerous Secret Raids On Al Quaeda And I Have Over Three Hundred Confirmed Kills I Am Trained In Gorilla Warfare And Im The Top Sniper In The Entire Us Armed Forces You Are Nothing To Me But Just Another Target I Will Wipe You The Fuck Out With Precision The Likes Of Which Has Never Been Seen Before On This Earth Mark My Fucking Words You Think You Can Get Away With Saying That Shit To Me Over The Internet Think Again Fucker As We Speak I Am Contacting My Secret Network Of Spies Across The Usa And Your Ip Is Being Traced Right Now So You Better Prepare For The Storm Maggot The Storm That Wipes Out The Pathetic Little Thing You Call Your Life Youre Fucking Dead Kid I Can Be Anywhere Anytime And I Can Kill You In Over Seven Hundred Ways And Thats Just With My Bare Hands Not Only Am I Extensively Trained In Unarmed Combat But I Have Access To The Entire Arsenal Of The United States Marine Corps And I Will Use It To Its Full Extent To Wipe Your Miserable Ass Off The Face Of The Continent You Little Shit If Only You Could Have Known What Unholy Retribution Your Little “Clever” Comment Was About To Bring Down Upon You Maybe You Would Have Held Your Fucking Tongue But You Couldnt You Didnt And Now Youre Paying The Price You Goddamn Idiot I Will Shit Fury All Over You And You Will Drown In It Youre Fucking Dead Kiddo

So I work at a bank as a teller and there are so many annoying things clients do but one thing always makes me want to stab them in the face with a pen, and that’s when someone comes up with a check and an ID, says NOTHING, and Im like “what can I do for you?” and they say “Cash.” like obviously cash why else would someone willingly show their ID to me. So then I have to ask “Do you have an account with us?” and it can go one of two ways, both of which are SO AGGRAVATING. (just thinking about it makes me grind my teeth) One, they’ll say “Ive been banking here For xx years” like I know everyone on earth by name and face or Two, “No, but they do.” EVERY TIME! I know the check is drawn from this bank, I WORK HERE! I need to know what information I need to take from you to cash this freaking check! NO, we dont charge. Theyre always so smug about it too, like they’re thinking “Ugh, this girl is so stupid, she thinks she can somehow prevent me from cashing my paycheck!”

anonymous asked:

So this popular user I follow just now made me quite sad.. As jin is hardly in the mv she was complaining of course, but then went on a rant about how maknae line esp really disrespect and hate jin and how all of the members treat him like he's nothing and just throw insincere compliments at him to not look too suspicious and it's made me so upset.. I haven't been into bts for very long, only a few months.. What do you think of this? Sorry I'm asking but I guess I just want another opinion

thats a really ridiculous thing to say about the members, they definitely don’t “treat him like he’s nothing”… bts is probably the most supportive group ive seen in my 5 years of being in kpop fandoms, so take what she says with a grain of salt

I woke up this morning and for the briefest of moments I forgot.
I forgot how afraid i was for myself and many of my loved ones
I forgot how ashamed i was at my country
I forgot how much pain I felt
And then it all came back
But here i go to school like nothing happened
Like im not about to cry
Like im not terrified for all of our tomorrows

Ive seen people say it wont be bad get over it.
But you dont understand. If you voted for him I won’t ridicule you, its your right. But here i, and many many people, have been reduced to fears for our safety and prosperity over the results of who is now going to rule us for 4 years. Fears not only that I have to live with that disgusting man in one of the highest offices of the free world, but that im surrounded by the people who put him there. And that is not okay.

What The Fuck Did You Just Fucking Say About Me You Little Bitch Ill Have You Know I Graduated Top Of My Class In The Royal Prospit Gaurd And Ive Been Involved In Numerous Secret Raids On The Kingdom Of Darkness And I Have Over 300 Confirmed Kills I Am Trained In Cavern Warfare And Im The Top Lumberjack In The Entire Alternian Armed Forces You Are Nothing To Me But Just Another Target I Will Wipe You The Fuck Out With Precision The Likes Of Which Has Never Been Seen Before On This Planet Mark My Fucking Words You Think You Can Get Away With Saying That Shit To Me Over The Internet Think Again Fucker As We Speak I Am Contacting My Secret Network Of Spies Across The Incipisphere And Your Ip Is Being Traced Right Now So You Better Prepare For The Storm Grub The Storm That Wipes Out The Pathetic Little Thing You Call Your Life Youre Fucking Dead Grub I Can Be Anywhere Anytime And I Can Kill You In Over Seven Hundred Ways And Thats Just With My Lipstick Not Only Am I Extensively Trained In Unarmed Combat But I Have Access To The Entire Arsenal Of The Alternian Armed Forces And I Will Use It To Its Full Extent To Wipe Your Miserable Ass Off The Face Of The Planet You Little Shit If Only You Could Have Known What Unholy Retribution Your Little Clever Comment Was About To Bring Down Upon You Maybe You Would Have Held Your Fucking Tongue But You Couldnt You Didnt And Now You’re Paying The Price You Goddamn Idiot I Will Shit Fury All Over You And You Will Drown In It Youre Fucking Dead Fuckass

It’s probably time I actually say something about this. I will be posting occasional political posts because this is where my biggest audience is. Shouting into the void does nothing when the future of an entire nation is at stake and those I care for are being hurt.

I’m doing my part and everything I can. I’m actively making choices offline, I’m calling officials, I’m supporting those speaking out, I’m very actively standing with my friends and family who are in danger.

This is still a witchcraft blog, I still own a successful witchcentric business, but, I will always stick to my roots and my roots are ready to fight.

You do not have to continue following me, you do not have to continue being my friend if this is an issue.

note: nothing in this is about anyone specifically, i genuinely had no one in mind regarding any parts of any of this as things in this intentionally apply to several people, i also want to say that nothing prompted me to post this, its just something ive been thinking about for a long while now

outside of derailing a practically canon gay relationship (i do consider it canon due to a combination of whats been shown in canon and how justin and griffin treat it on social media along with things the both of them have said that wasnt about taakitz specifically), crackships with taako are just.. unnecessary, i say crackship despite some of these characters saying maybe one line that implied a one-sided crush on taako, i get why taako is a fan-favourite, and obviously this means he would get more content…

but m/m fetishization and oversaturation does more harm than good to both gay boys and lesbians (bi people included, obviously), like i was in the fandom when hurley/sloane was the most popular pairing on ao3 and seeing how quickly taakitz overtook it is.. really heartbreaking, like dont get me wrong ive said numerous times that i love taakitz, its a comfort for me, as a gay boy, but a lot of fic content for it is subpar and rehashed a million times, while f/f couples are pushed to the side, even those with more fleshed out relationships LIKE hurley/sloane, its hard to even find f/f crackships, ren/antonia is the only one i can think of off the top of my head, but m/m ones have loads more content (though this specific example isnt too good considering that antonia is a faaaiiirly new character, but you see what i mean)

like, im not gonna say that people need to stop making taakitz content or anything because theres nothing inherently wrong with that, this is just a really common problem with fandom as a whole and i wanted to say something about it

You Make Me More Than I Ever Was II Jaspar fanfiction

- Masterlist of all my stories -

Summary: Sometimes Caspar tells Joe that he is beautiful; and he tells him that he loves him and sometimes, they kiss, but Joe knows that there is nothing weird about it because they are best friends and best friends can do that, but the day must come when they cross the line.

Part I: You Needn’t Say Anything

Part II: And The Thought Of Spending All My Life With You Does Not Scare Me At All

Part III: The Only Thing That I Know Will Last Forever

Part IV: This Is Not Us, This Is Not What We Are

Part V: You Are Everything To Me

Part VI: My Fault As Much As Yours

Part VII: You Are Not Friends, Nor Have You Ever Been

Part VIII: I Would Do Anything You Asked Of Me

Part IX: You Make Me Lose All Of My Sanity

Part X: You Lied To Me More Often Than I Can Count

Part XI: Like We Are Breaking Apart

Part XII: For You, Nothing Could Be Too Much

Part XIII: I Want You To Never Forget

Part XIV: You Are Worth Everything

Part XV: Promise Me You Won’t Kiss Me Anymore

Part XVI: I’m Losing Track Of Everything

Part XVII: You Will Always Be First

Part XVIII: You Know That He Still Loves You

Part XIX: You Know What I Wish For

Part XX: All The Things I Love About You

Part XXI: All I Ever Wanted

Part XXII: And Now We Woke

Keep reading

Ive been hearing about EMA and especially Eren getting hate and people (some Erwin/Eruri fans) celebrating and Im just like lmao

I dont give a shit if you people hate EMA and especially Eren, You can dislike a character all you want but you know when Erwin died, you people were all up in arms yelling about RESPECT!!  FOR THE GREAT COMMANDER!!!! WHO HATH DONE NOTHING WRONG!! BUT WAS ONLY WRONGED BY THE TEENAGE SAVAGES!! WHO DID NOT APPRECIATE HIM!!

And now you go around posting hate on other characters? I get it, youre biased, you missed entirely what Isayama was saying when he wrote that chapter and instead you just read what you wanted to read where Erwin is a flawless angel and Eren all but wrestles the serum out of Levi’s hands, jams Armin with it and then takes a dump on Erwins corpse (going by what youve been writing, that seems to be exactly what you think actually happened, I swear).. Keep it out of general tags at least cause damn all of you are bitter as fuck and not all of fandom wants to see that. We had to put up with that for months before and then when Erwin died.

Ive been neutral on Erwin but by the God, you people made me happy he died, ding dong, the witch is dead, 8/13 years is better than none, we will be enjoying the rest of the manga with our characters alive and not rotting on some bed, abandoned to the maggots.

(yes Im petty)

This is a response to @metacooler‘s Top 10 Character Select Themes (2/2)

5. Art of Fighting 3:
AoF
 takes place during the 70′s, and nothing says “the 70′s” like Casio Keyboards, set to “church organ ”

4. Street Fighter Alpha 3: The grungy electronic tone makes this one of the few tracks in the franchise that actually sounds like it should be in a series called “Street Fighter” - it brings to mind dirty 80′s action movies, and the hard-hitting percussion gets the blood-flowing.

3. Street Fighter IV: Hey, look, more SF.  i’m only talking about Vanilla, btw, not Super/AE/ or Ultra’s themes- those suck, because they aren’t Cherry Pie by Warrant, like SFIV’s theme song clearly is:

2. Guilty Gear Isuka: Say what you will about Isuka’s It’s-like-Fatal-Fury-but-you-have-to-turn-around-manually gameplay, but the music is top-notch, and gave us some of the best tracks in the entire franchise, especially this:

1. 3rd Strike: 
Let’s get it on now, Select and make your first pick,
Let’s get in on now, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6
Let’s get it on now, Choose, and pick the best one,
Let’s get it on now, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Let’s get it on now, Select and make your first pick,
Let’s get in on now, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6
Let’s get it on now, Choose, and pick the best one,
Let’s get it on now, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Let’s get it on now, Select and make your first pick,
Let’s get in on now, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6
Let’s get it on now, Choose, and pick the best one,
Let’s get it on now, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Let’s get it on now, Select and make your first pick,
Let’s get in on now, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6
Let’s get it on now, Choose, and pick the best one,
Let’s get it on now, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

3

So, some stuff got talked about in the stream :3c

@kirbychan234 and @arthur-tristan-kingsmen hand a heavy hand in coming up with this (also thank you tristan, for the donation. I will see about doing the game stream tomorrow.)

So Ive heard ghost stories before about calls coming from abandoned buildings and discontented lines before. So ghosts can pull some weird stunts with phones.

So what if Tagalong!Lewis decides it would be a good idea to mess with Arthur and calls his phone. Arthurs call ID shows that its Lewis and he picks up and hears nothing for a while. Then maybe, because Lewis is a dramatic fuck, Lewis says something ominous/spooky to try and scare Arthur. Instead he gets Arthur trying to talk to him and begging him to tell him where he is, wanting to bring him home.
Lewis hangs up because he has no idea how to handle this. Arthur is devastated. He keeps trying to call him back, but the line says its disconnected. Arthur tries calling the phone company and they confirm that that line hasn’t been used for months.

Arthurs left upset and Lewis is just confused by how Arthur is acting.

hey
it’s not your fault
it’s okay
don’t apologize
don’t worry about it
take care of yourself
its alright
you don’t have to explain yourself
i don’t mind
its okay
please tell me what you need
i forgive you
its fine
really its fine
its okay
its alright
youre good
dont worry about it
dont apologize
dont apologize
dont apologize
its not okay
im so tired
i dont want to hear about your guilt
if you feel it, then good for you
dont tell me
dont apologize
i dont care
actions speak louder than words
show me, don’t tell me
words mean nothing
stop it
dont say anything
dont apologize
be quiet
shut up
i cant stand this
i cant stand you
your fault
your fault
your fault
i made my mistakes
ive long since paid for them
im not staying out of guilt anymore
i dont deserve this
i dont
dont say anything
dont talk to me
i dont want to talk to you
i cant do this
im sorry
im done
goodbye
—  i love you but i have to love me more {shira}