ive been on a roll all night

things my cousin (who used to go to catholic boarding school) said while watching bare: a pop opera

*obviously there’s gonna be spoilers you’ve been warned*
Epiphany- “Ew flashbacks- wait so his favorite flavor of popsicle is d-d-d-d-dick”
You and I- “Stranger danger and odd euphemisms”
Role of a Lifetime- “Protect my child”
Auditions- “and they all think he’s heterosexual?”
Plain Jane Fat Ass- “ME BITCH”
Wonderland- “ayy kids wanna buy some drugs”
A Quiet Night At Home- “Protect my other child”
Rolling- “A FUCKING BOP IF IVE EVER HEARD ONE”
Best Kept Secret- “*just crying*”
Confession- “if this bitch spills the tea”
Portrait of a Girl- “see don’t slut shame”
Birthday, Bitch!- “I’m just gonna sing this to you on your birthday while everyone else is singing happy birthday”
One Kiss- “SNAKE BITCH ASS LIAR”
Are You There- “he already fuckin knew”
911! Emergency!- “come out come out wherever you are”
Reputation Stain’d- “….daaaaamn”
Ever After- “We gotta write a fairytale with gay heroes. That’s it. It’s our life goal.”
Spring- “IF THAT AINT ME”
One- “can you believe? i cannot- just- the audacity…”
Act Two
Wedding Bells- “Let’s stop it here look they got married there’s that ever after.”
In The Hallway- “woah lotta things”
Touch My Soul- “is this another weird euphemism”
See Me- “him gay”
Warning- “‘am i supposed to feel sorry for her…cause i don’t’”
Pilgrim’s Hands- “YEE MA BOIS”
God Don’t Make No Trash- “it’s me when you came out to me”
All Grown Up- “use protection, kids”
Promise- “shit. is. going. DOWN.”
Once Upon A Time- “BITCH MY FEELINGS”
Cross- “man fuck off he can be gay”
Two Households- “this is fucking me up”
Bare- “wait this is too cute to end well”
Queen Mab- “is he good”
A Glooming Peace- “NO HE’S NOT”
Absolution- “he’s fine. he’s fine. he’s fine. no he’s not damn it.”
No Voice- “i’m a broken woman”

the group chat fic

wow what a creative title alex

I’ve been working on this for a few days so I decided it’s time to share it with the world!! It’s going to be a series bc writing it in one part was becoming too much and there’s a lot I want to do with it but

Summary: poly sanders; Roman Morality and Logan are already together, and keep inviting Anxiety on dates, even if he doesn’t quite realise it. Everything is told through their group chat. Enjoy!

_____________

Morality created the group.
Morality added Logan, Roman, and Anxiety.
Anxiety changed the group name to Why?.
Anxiety changed Roman’s nickname to Prince Charming.
Anxiety changed Logan’s nickname to Logic (the rapper).
Anxiety changed Morality’s nickname to Dad.
Prince Charming: how did you do all that one minute after the chat had been created!?
Anxiety: i wrk fast
Logic (the rapper): work*
Anxiety: i know what i said
Prince Charming changed Anxiety’s nickname to Hot Topic.
Hot Topic: as ive said: aw u think im hot
Dad: come on now kiddos, it’s all in good fun! I thought it’d be good to have a chat so we can keep in touch even when we’re apart!
Logic (the rapper): That seems logical, although I must agree with Anxiety’s sentiment: why? We are rarely apart, and when we are it’s at night or when we are working on our own projects.
Dad: I just thought it would be fun! Thomas is in lots of group chats and he always seems excited to message in them!
Prince Charming: I agree!!! After all we can share our adventures and troubles in one convenient place!!!
Hot Topic: *eye roll emoji*
Prince Charming: did you just type *eye roll emoji* you have an iphone
Hot Topic: ive been putting off updating for years
Hot Topic: i dont have emojis
Logic (the rapper): That hardly seems logical. It would take less than an hour to update your phone and would drastically improve your cellphone experience.
Hot Topic: ignoring that
Hot Topic: why am i even here im not dating any of you
Dad: you’re still important to us buddy!
Hot Topic: o.k.
Logic (the rapper): Morality’s statement is true. We value you’re company.
Hot Topic: o.k.
Prince Charming: why don’t you come join us for a movie?? ur choice!!!
Hot Topic: …the black cauldron?
Dad: sounds great buddy, we’ll start it up! come whenever youre ready!

Hot Topic: thanks for tonight
Hot Topic: it meant a lot
Hot Topic changed the group name to Sanders Sides.

____________

@obviouslyelementary @asexual-trashbag @d-strider @evelynbamfoconnall I just tagged people from the ace group chat but I prob missed some???

Today has hands down been one of the hardest days of my life. I feel like I am saying that a lot lately. Friday Finn started puking. He puked every where. We finally got him to keep down pedialyte at about 2 AM friday night (Saturday morning). As Saturday wore on he became more and more lethargic and sick and just not himself. All night saturday he was moaning in his sleep, but he had enough energy to look at me and see me and drink his bottles and he was keeping it down. Sunday he just kept getting worse, I was convinced it was the flu. Jeff came home and Finn was bad. Like I was sure that the hospital was going to tell us he had pneumonia. So Jeff brought him in to the hospital, because today was supposed to be my first day back at work. Within 5 minutes of being there my son had an IV and oxygen. He had labs drawn immediately. His blood sugar was in the high 600s. No one was saying anything to Jeff about what was wrong. They were talking in hushed whispers in the corner. I didn’t sleep last night, at all. At 4 AM I got up and got Mac dressed and made arrangements for the others and took Mac to the hospital. I walked into the PICU and my husband greeted me with tears rolling down his face. “He’s diabetic” I feel like my world stopped. The rest of the day has been a daze. I left. And went to work. I burst into tears in front of the first person to ask me how I was. I wasn’t going to cry. I was going to work. My boss, her boss, and her bosses boss decided collectively that I needed the week off. I got back in the car and went back to my son. They kept telling us he wasn’t breathing, that they were going to intubate him. Finally his doctor sat me down and told me everything. Finn has type 1 diabetes. He is suffering from Diabetic Ketoacidosis and is currently in a diabetic coma. He has brain swelling but we won’t know if there is damage for months, until he falls behind on milestones. My son, my sweet son, he opens his eyes, but his eyes are dead. He doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t respond to me calling his name or rubbing his cheek. Just for a moment imagine your child laying there oblivious to you, the doctor telling you that s/he isn’t out of the woods yet and “I am glad you are here incase things go south”. Imagine wondering if the last time you will touch your baby is while he’s on a bed where you can’t hold him, you can’t comfort him. I don’t know how to be a mom to a sick child. i don’t know how to do hospitals and specialists and doctors. I don’t know how to do any of this. I don’t know how to live my life with a child who could go into a coma at any moment because he ate the wrong thing or I fucked up insulin. And insulin. i don’t know how to poke my child every day. I don’t know how to do any of this. Im overwhelmed by the amount of support from all of you. Thank you. I promise I will reach out to you all. Right now, I dont know how to function. I dont know what to do, and im sorry if you are offended by my inability to cope.

Hurricane Harvey

So i live in Houston and am currently on a cot in the George R Brown convention center with my partner and friends

Last i saw the house around 3pm on sunday the water was nearly waist high and full of chemicals from under the sink, reaching past the very low windows so im assuming it will be worse when we see it again

road a military truck around my neighborhood for four hours picking up other people. The water was covering cars in some spots and barely licking the doors in others, but the road was ALWAYS worse,and the first two places they tried to leave us turned us away (fire department and a church beginning to flood)

dropped at a different church on slightly higher ground, stayed for 8 hours while we waited for transport to the convention center. initially they wouldnt let us on because one cat was not caged, but we found a box and cut some holes in the lid and stuck the smallest cat inside which was enoughto catch us a ride.  a lot of families and single people with uncaged pets stayed behind.

Around 2am we were piled, 17 people, 4 animals and 2 national guardsmen i the back of a tall military vehicle that sloshed through the high water until it hit the raised highway, then only 15-20 minutes until we got here. it was much emptier sunday night, and ive been here long enough to have slowly gotten ahold of soft blankets and things as donations roll in. all people with animals are o one side of the building, the lights are always on, the barking neer stops and im incredibly happy to be here rather than back at the church where i hope people still arent trapped, since i believe they changed their caged animal rules since then, considering how many cages they are giving out.

My partner volunteered day 1 since they are familiar with the engineering specs on this particular buikding, and after the GRB employees left on day 1 he was the only one around that knew how to hook up electricity here (its weirdly coplicated). partner set up a bunch of charging stations for people and its packed shoulder to shoulder most of the time. when they coe back for naps i get bits of stories about babies needing to be hooked up to respirators for half the day and things f that nature.

this is all very stressful and i just needed to get tht all out.

if anyone is interested in donating small amounts to my paypal ( charliefosterofdenson@gmail.com ) i would be really thankful, because i know that most of what i have is going to be ruined, and my funds were pretty dang tight in the first place after the mess that happened 3 weeks ago, and my cats very dramatic expensive death 6 weeks before that.

5

MIX COLLECTION: RARE WORDS

five playlists inspired by rare words and the art of helenedelmaire

I. ÉMEUTE

émeute: a popular rising; uproar
for mouths spitting out blood in foreign tongues 
dance punk, post-punk, apocalyptic [listen]

II. ABOULOMANIA

aboulomania: pathological indecisiveness
for starry nights and toes squeezed inwards 
electronica, alternative, space hymns [listen]

III. SCELESTIC

scelestic: wicked; villainous
for whipping hair and snaking hips
electronic, female vocals, sex [listen]

IV. DEICIDE

deicide: the destruction or killing of a god
for forked tongues and empty eyes 
lo-fi, dark, electronic [listen]

V. DINOMANIA

dinomania: mania for dancing
for twisting bodies and rolling shoulders 
synthpop, electronic, dance punk [listen]

anonymous asked:

When i went to my first college party a girl asked if i was gay and i said i was pan (@ the time i was trying to reason myself into dudes when i couldnt even listen to a dude talk without falling asleep) and like the moment she rolled her eyes i felt the lie like hit me straight in the chest and i wanted to correct myself so bad but so many other people were like high fiving me about that (pt1)

(Pt2) i ended up doing the 2 jello shots in the fridge and spilling beer on myself behind the house the rest of the night by myself until my friends decided to leave. But like in all my interactions with people in my life that one still comes back to me like in that moment i shut a door that ive been trying to open back up since, idk its hard to find other lesbians where i live just a bunch of straight and bi girls who only ever talk about dick

You aren’t the first lesbian who’s tried calling herself bi or pan first. When you think of how much pressure girls have on them to be attracted to guys, it makes sense that a lot of lesbians have difficulty coming to terms with their attraction to women being exclusive.

Here’s the good news: you can start calling yourself a lesbian now and living authentically. It doesn’t matter if you came out as something different in the past. If anyone questions it, just tell them you realized you’re actually a lesbian. And take pride in that!

Also, and this is advice I’d like anyone who’s struggling with lesbian loneliness to listen to, if it’s safe for you to be out as a lesbian, it becomes so much easier to meet other lesbians. If you make your sexuality known, others who share it will be more comfortable letting you know they’re the same. When I came out as a lesbian in college, some of my classmates told me they were bi or gay, and another lesbian went out of her way to befriend me. I found out one of my coworkers is a lesbian in a similar way. There might be quite a few hidden lesbians around you, so if you can let them know they’re not alone, you won’t have to be alone either.

-Mod Noel

Im Sorry - Part Three

A/N: So i wrote this while watching Grey’s Anatomy so i apologize if it sucks, anyway, Also i haven’t edited it so if theres any mistakes please let me know, send any requests if you have any, Enjoy! x

Warnings: Nothing.

Pairing: Dean x Lisa

Word Count: 1112




Your heart was speeding up seeing all these nice ‘apple pie life’ styled houses knowing you were going to be at Lisa’s at any moment.

 “What’s the address again Sam?” Dean asked driving, slowing down as he ducked down a little to see the numbers on the house.

 Grabbing the sheet of paper on the dash Sam read out “12223”

 “12220, 12221, 12222” Dean mumbled “12223” Dean happily stated pulling into the parking space in front of the garage. Dean shut off the car “You guys rea-” Cutting Dean off by jumping out of the Impala, slamming the door shut, walking up the house, waiting for the boys on the step.

 “What’s her problem?” Dean asked Sam, still seated in the impala.

Sam responded by just shrugging his shoulders “time of the month?”

Dean shook is head “No, that was last week” 

Sam’s eyes widened “I don’t even wanna know how you know that”

“No you don't” Dean chuckled, stepping out of the Impala, straighten his clothes, wiping his hands on his jeans. You gave him a weird look, he through his hands up “What? Im nervous okay”

Both boys meeting you up at the front door, all three of you just stood there, no one making a move or a noise, gesturing for Dean to knock, but when he didn’t you rolled your eyes banging on the door, sighing, stepping away so you were the farthest from the door.

 A moment later you could hear footsteps, the door unlocking before opening revealing, Lisa, looking beautiful, as always. Rolling your eyes again at the sight of her, but more towards Dean gawking at the only girl he ever loved.

 “Dean” She mumbled out breathlessly

 “Hey, Lisa” Dean said scratching the back of his head, while she moved forward giving the man hug, to what he obviously returned, not to mention lasted a little too long for your taste.

 She moved over slightly, facing Sam, smiling, “Hello Sam, good to see you again” moving in, hugging him as well, “You to Lisa” Sam said smiling back, before both boys slightly parted revealing you.

 “Lisa you remember y/n” Dean spoke, reintroducing you.

 “Of course I do, how could I forget” She said smiling, walking towards you giving you a hug, you awkwardly returned, trying to place nice.

 An awkward silence fell over all of you before Lisa spoke up inviting you all inside. You all followed Lisa inside, taking a seat beside Sam and Dean on the couch.

“So can i get you three anything? It must of been a long drive, I can make sandwiches? I have beer!” Lisa perked up

“That sounds goo..”

 “So when did this all start happening” You questioned cutting Dean off, wanting to get this done and over with as quickly as possible.

Sam gave you a confused look, followed by Dean allowing you light enough that Lisa wouldn’t notice but hard enough to get his point across.

“Almost a month ago, I really didn’t think it was anything, lights flicker, things break” Pausing before continuing “Then Ben said he seen a man standing at the edge of his bed, and I knew it wasn’t just anything, and then well, I called you” She finished clapping her hands together setting them neatly on her lap.

 “Where is Ben?” Sam asked finally speaking up

 “He’s staying at a friends till this is all over, I didn’t want him to be exposed to this, this kinda of stuff” She paused “No offence!”

 Sam chuckled “None taken”

 Glancing over towards Dean you could see the hurt in his eyes knowing Ben wasn’t here, you knew how much Dean wanted to see him, even if he didn’t mention it.

“So when do you guys want to start, know ‘ghost busting’” Lisa laughed at her lame ass attempt for a joke, you rolled your eyes, as Dean forced the fakes laugh you’ve ever heard.

Sam cleared his throat “Um, tomorrow. We need to look more into it, and we haven’t slept in over 24 hours, well some of us. You gonna be okay for a few hours?”

“Yeah, no thats completely okay, Ill be fine! Ive actually been staying at Lena’s, she’s me neighbour” Lisa smiled

“Perfect” You smiled out sarcastically, but she didn’t quite catch on to your sarcasm.

 


The three of you checked into the nearest motel to spend the night, Lisa offered you all to stay but before either of the boys could even answer you declined, you could feel Dean’s eyes burning into the side of your face as you responded.

 You plopped down onto the nearest bed sighing before Dean yelled at you “What the hell was that y/n”

 “What?” you questioned, you knew he wanted to stay but you sure the hell didn’t.

 “You know what I’m talking about” He spoke sternly pacing back and forth.

 Sam taking a seat on the chair by the window waiting to jump in if a fight broke out like it has many time before, Dean and you always butted heads.

 “No Dean, I don’t think I do” You played innocent cocking your head.

 Running his right hand down his face “Never mind” Dean gave up, lying down on the couch “I’m going to sleep.”

“I think we could all use some sleep” Sam spoke up, moving over to the other bed, beside yours. Sighing again before rolling over, drifting into unconsciousness.


 

You woke up a few hours later to the sun shining through the curtains, rubbing your eyes before letting out a yawn, sitting up and seeing Sam at the table, doing which you assumed was research.  

 “What time is it?” You mumbled

“6:38AM”

 Looking around you didn’t see Dean, anywhere “Where’s Dean?”

 “He left last night” Sam peeked up at you over his laptop

 You stood up stretching your arms, grabbing a cup of the crappy coffee “To go where” 

 “To Lisa’s”


A couple hours later Dean returned with three coffees, too chipper for 8 in the morning.

 “Sammy! y/n!” He cheered out, handing you guys each a coffee.

“Why are you so happy?” You mumbled

“Isn’t it obvious y/n? He was at Lisa’s put two and two together,” Sam laughed out taking a sip of his coffee.

“So Sammy did you find anything out” Dean asked hovering over Sam, both their backs turned to you.

 You felt your stomach drop realizing what he was getting at, you stopped pacing back and forth, feeling a wave of nausea rush over you, your vision slowly going black around the edges before you could feel yourself starting to fall before feeling a huge pain rush through your head before blacking out.

Kink

I hope this is okay! Sorry for the inactivity, ive been trying to get suff wirtten to post while im away im so behind in preparing ugh

Originally posted by huang-zitao

Hoseok had a lot of turn-ons; thigh highs, fooling around in public places, strange positions, he’d suggested all of them at some point and your best sex always involved something kinky. But you’d found Hoseok’s biggest kink accidentally. You were rolling around on the floor, wrestling for control of the TV remote like you always did on your scheduled movie nights, and you’d somehow managed to pin him beneath you. His eyes grew dark with lust as he started up at you as you straddled his hips, but that was normal, your discovery came later.

Your wrestling for the remote inevitably turned into making out on the floor and you began to tease him, pulling back as he leaned up in an attempt to kiss crash his lips to yours. usually he’d overpower you easily, growing bored with the teasing but he remained beneath you, his arms pinned above his head. You smirked down at him, enjoying your rare chance at power as you ghosted your lips over his jugular, reveling in the breathy, needy moans that escaped his throat.

You pulled back, your eyes widening as he moaned your name and Hoseok’s cheeks flushed pink. He rolled you off him, scrambling to his feet and snatching the remote with a high pitched screech to let you know he’d won. You didn’t care about the remote at this point, you wanted to explore this new side to Hoseok you’d found, so you’d spent the length of the stupid movie he’d chosen coming up with a plan.

Hoseok slept in weird positions and you used that to your advantage. He laid on your bed, already asleep when you emerged from your shower and you grinned as you noticed one arm draped across his face, blocking out the light with the other resting just above his head on the pillow. You grabbed one of his ties from your dresser, padding over to stand beside him. You felt a little weird watching him sleep but you shook the thought from your head, tying the tie around his wrists without moving him too much. Thank god he was a heavy sleeper. You fastened the tie into a tight knot and moved to sit beside him on your bed, waiting patiently for him to wake up.

//

Hoseok sighed heavily beside you, rubbing his face on the arm draped across his face. You smiled as he tried to lift his arm, slowly realising that his wrists were bound together. He turned to look at you, eyes wide with shock as you tilted your head to the side, smiling as sweetly as you could manage.

“Y/N what-” he started, holding his bound wrists above his head, twisting them around like an idiot, tightening the knot further.

“We’re trying out a new kink,” you grinned, enjoying the way Hoseok’s cheeks flushed pink, “Ready to get started?”

Hoseok groaned your name as you pecked his lips, moving down his bare chest and taking one of his nipples into your mouth and Hoseok arched his back into you. You made sure to draw everything out, kissing, sucking and nibbling every inch of your boyfriend’s tanned skin. Hoseok squirmed underneath you and you relished in the breathy moans that escaped his lips, but you wouldn’t stop until you made him beg for it. you were careful to avoid the rather large bulge in his boxers, hooking your fingers in the hem of the fabric and swiftly pulling them off, Hoseok’s already half hard cock springing free. You stood, quickly stripping yourself of your pyjamas as he eyes followed you, licking his lips.

“Jagi,” Hoseok whined, straining to look at you as you ran your tongue along the inside of this thigh.

“Yes?” you responded as huskily as you could, causing Hoseok to bit his lip and good god did he look so hot. You smiled at him, lightly dragging your nails over the tops of his thighs, drawing goose bumps in their wake before you grasped his cock and stroked it languidly. Hoseok moaned, pushing his hips up, straining against his bonds.

“Do you like this?” you asked and Hoseok threw his head back against the pillows, groaning loudly as you lazily pumped his length. You released Hoseok’s shaft, crawling up his body and crashing your lips to his. You kissed him softly, ghosting your lips over his as he leaned up in a desperate attempt for contact. You pulled back completely and Hoseok pouted, staring up at you with lust filled eyes.

“What do you want?” you whispered, throwing your leg over his hips to straddle his waist .

“You,” Hoseok whined, arching his back as he lifted his hips to grind against you, “I want you,”

Your eyes widened at the erotic display, his movement shooting shocks of pleasure through your core and you could feel how wet you were just from his needy moans. You had no idea having Hoseok writhing in a needy mess beneath you would be this hot.

“Me?” you whispered and he nodded frantically, rolling his hips up against yours. You had to bite your lip to keep from moaning as his cock slipped between your folds, prodding at your entrance. You swiftly got off his lap before you gave up and sank down on his cock, ending the game right there, but you had another thought in mind. You felt nerves flutter in your stomach, you’d never done this before and you’d hope Hoseok wouldn’t object. You turned yourself around, throwing a leg over his chest so you were straddling him once again, but your back was to his face.

“Sit on my face,” Hoseok breathed and you felt your face flood with heat and you were thankful he couldn’t see you right now, “please… oh my god, Y/N,”

You leant forward, presenting your dripping core to him, moaning Hoseok’s name loudly as he traced his tongue along your slit. You were shaky and insanely turned on as he flattened his tongue against your pussy, but you were determined to have him moaning and begging for you to suck him. You grasped the base of his cock, blowing warm air over the head and smirking as he whined gruffly. In return, he delivered a long, slow lick to the length of your slit and you let more of your weight down on his face as his tongue flicked at your clit.

Hoseok bucked his hips and you let the head of his cock slip into your mouth. You began to bob your head up and down, only allowing the tip to slip into your mouth before you pulled back, causing Hoseok to whine rather loudly. You repeated until he was panting underneath you, his tongue slipping in and out of your entrance in a desperate attempt to please you. You grew bored quickly, swiftly deep throating his length and hollowing your cheeks, causing him to yelp in surprise and sink his teeth into your ass cheek.

“O-oh yes, Jagi!” he screamed, “Make me cum!”

Hoseok shoved his tongue as far into your entrance as he could and you could feel your orgasm approaching as the wet muscle moved inside of you. You bobbed your head shallowly, allowing him to thrust into your mouth as you rubbed a hand over the top of his thigh, the other moving underneath him to fondle his balls. With one last, gurgled moan of your name, Hoseok yelled as he came into your mouth. His tongue quickly withdrew from you, moving rapidly over your clit as you rolled your hips down onto his face.

“Fuck,” you breathed, your orgasm hitting your hard and you dug your nails into his thigh as he sucked you through your high. You lifted yourself off him, wiping some of his cum off your chin as you moved you untie his hands.

“Wow,” Hoseok panted, trying to catch his breath. He rubbed at his wrists as he stared at the ceiling, and you rolled your bottom lip between your teeth as you noticed your juices glistening on his lips. You leaned forward, catching his gaze as you ran your tongue over his lips, tasting yourself.

“That was unexpected,” Hoseok whispered in surprise as you pulled back.

“But good?” you asked, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart race.

“It was okay,” he lied and you rolled your eyes.

“I think you liked it more than you want to admit,” You laughed, “O-Oh yes Jagi! Make me cum!” you mocked and his chest rumbled as he laughed with you.

Everything Was

Pairing:  Steve x Reader

Warnings:  Swearing, Looong, and Sad.  Very sad.  I’m not saying anymore so I don’t spoil it.

Key:  (B/N) is a boy’s name, and as always, (Y/N) is your name.

(One-Shot: Steve, #24 Requested by:  Anon)

Author’s note:  I just watched a play through of the game ‘That Dragon, Cancer’ and got inspired. 

Originally posted by fourteenyearswithpain

Originally posted by unrealisticstory

Originally posted by winterscap

Everything Was


You sat on the couch, spinning your wedding ring around your finger and Steve sat across from you.

“Steve..”  You paused, resting your hand on your stomach.  You hadn’t needed to finish for tears to well into his eyes.  He knew, wordlessly, he knew.  You finished your sentence anyway,  looking down at your abdomen.  “I’m pregnant.”  

Immediately, he ran over and enveloped you in his arms, lips stretched far across either side of your faces and tears rolling down your puffed cheeks.  You were going to be parents.  Everything was perfect.  

Keep reading

ive been home alone all night and i just went to the bathroom a few hours ago and there was no toilet paper and i just now went back to shower and there is new roll of toilet paper on the rack im gonna shit my pants

anonymous asked:

"Clean? You call this clean?"

Maid AU

Rapunzel hummed softly to herself, her pink ear buds in her ears as she dusted off the shelving of the Frost estate library. Her hair was up in a messy blonde bun wearing a pair of skinny jeans and form fitting light purple t-shirt that showed a bit of her flat stomach. She moved her hips to the beat of her music, standing on the latter to reach the spot shelf. She didnt mind cleaning for Frost on days like this. Days where he had to leave early for a meeting, stay late for another. These days were the only ones she had to herself and didn’t have to worry about him distracting her or annoying her.

Well, if she was honest with herself, she kinda liked him around. For the last five months she had gotten used to his presence and sometimes she found herself thinking of something funny and turning to tell him, only to remember that he was at work. She frowned to herself. She needed to get her head straight. She was not supposed to miss him or want him around. He was her boss and she was only here until her career got off the ground.

“I dont need him around.” she mumbled to herself, reaching up on her tip toes to slide the fluffy end of the swiffer over the very top of the bookcases.

“RAPUNZEL!”

The blonde let out an ‘eep’ as she jumped, her losing her footing enough to wobble a bit on the latter before grabbing the newly dusted shelves to steady herself. She took a couple deep breaths as her hear raced in her chest. Oh god.

“RAPUNZEL!”

“What?!” she yelled back, her hand on her chest as she still tried to cope with her near death experience. A couple foot stomps before the double doors of the library opened wide.

She looked over her shoulder and down at the man who though the ran the world. He looked a bit worse for wear. His hair was a mess, his shirt was already a bit unbuttoned and his tie was gone. But what she noticed the most was the obvious purple bags under his eyes that showed up on his pale skin. That and the permanent scowl on his face.

“Where’s my Colombian coffee? I tried to find it this morning and it wasn’t where it was supposed to be.” he crossed his arms, blue tired eyes glared up at her irritably. She blinked in confusion before she pursed her lips in annoyance. 

“I dont know where it is. I clean the kitchen but its Kristoff job to order your coffee imports, not mine.” she huffed, turning back to her dusting.

“I wasnt out two days ago.” he countered. She rolled her eyes moving the duster over the bindings of the books.

“Maybe you drank the rest of it yesterday.”

“Whatever, just make sure you put everything where its supposed to be okay?” he said before turning a heel and stomping out of the library, leaving a very insulted maid behind. 

The worst part was that it didnt stop there. It was one of those days but ten times worse. Every once in awhile Jack would come home from a long day at work and be irritating to everyone he came across. usually he grabbed a beer, played a video game with Hiccup over Xbox live before turning in early. But today was not that simple.

Today he had locked himself in his office, only coming out to complain to her about missing papers, needing this or needing that. She was already working well into six o clock, Kristoff was starting dinner and she was gathering the last of the laundry to wash before she headed home. The blonde still hand her headphones in, trying to drown out her own irritation as she gathered the socks, underwear and towels from the rooms and hampers. 

She hesitated in front of Jack’s office door before she took a deep breath, put on a smile and knocked lightly.

“What?” came back an annoyed demand. She opened the door, a smile still on her face with the sounds of The Civil Wars playing in her ears,

“Here for your socks.” she said lightly, trying to at least be pleasant.

He leaned back in his chair, dropping his pen and runnign his hands over his face. His shirt sleeves were folded up to his elbows and he looked exhausted, but that was no excuse for his attitude. 

“Do you have to do this now?” he whined.

She sighed, “I always do your laundry before I leave on Mondays. You know that.”

“And some how i still never have clean clothes by Wednesday.” he mumbled angrily as he bent to take off his socks. 

Rapunzel glared at him, her patience was now gone. She placed the basket of dirty clothes on the hard wood floor of the office with a loud smack of the plastic falling into the wood.

“Then do it yourself.” she said, turning a heel and walking out of the office. She ignored the sound of his wheeled chair moving back and his now bare feet slapping on the floors behind her.

“Hey! You cant just do that!” he called behind her.

“I can when you’re being mean.” she countered, reaching up and pulling the pin from her bun and letting her long blonde hair fall down her back. It swished back and forth with the fierce movement of her hips as she stomped toward the kitchen to grab her purse off the counter. She was going home. He could wash his own socks.

“I’m not being mean, you’re being sensitive.” he said moving faster to walk beside her. She gasped, her cheeks heated with a mix of embarrassment and anger.

“Sensitive? I clean this whole house today and all I get is nagging because nothing I do is good enough for you and I’m sensitive?” she growled then huffed as she walked through the french doors into the kitchen. 

Kristoff looked up from the pot he was stirring, watching the commotion as she worked. Jack was in a bad mood but he had been warned by the guard at the gate entrance when the heir drove in. Obviously something happened and everyone knew to stay clear of him. Except for the new maid. The cook was always shocked that she hadn’t quit yet like the others.

“Clean? You call this clean?” Jack said, his arms out to motion to his home. Rapunzel spun around her cheeks red and her nostrils flared. He was so infuriating. Inside she knew that he was taking out his day on her but she wasn’t one to just let herself be pushed around. She had enough of that as a kid and vowed to always fight back because she spent too many years hiding.

She smiled sweetly, almost too sweetly as she made her way to the cupboard. She grabbing a box of cereal off the first shelf. She turned to her spoiled boss and ripped open the box.

“You’re right. Here, let me help you get it back to the way it was.” with that same sweet smile she tipped the over the cereal in her hands so that it spilled onto the hard wood floors. Jack’s eye twitched. Rapunzel walked past him leaving a trail of cereal behind her as she purposely spread the sugary flakes all over the long hall way of the beautiful home.

“What the hell are you doing, Punz!?” Jack called behind her, trying to avoid stepping on the dry flakes and make more of a mess. Rapunzel just kept walking, dumping the contents of the box. 

“Can’t you tell? I’m cleaning.” she said over her shoulder, turning to face him as she turned the entirety of the box over onto the floor. His fists clenched at his sides.

“Why are you being like this?!” he demanded.

“Why have you been picking on me since you got home?!” she demanded right back.

“I haven’t been picking on you!” he ran a hand through his hair. She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips while letting the empty cardboard box fall onto the pile of dry cereal on the floor.

“Yes, you have! Youve been mean to me all night!”

“Why are you so frustrating!”

“Because you’re so-so-you!” she cried back.

He scoffed, “Oh so now its all my fault? Everything is fucking my fault?”

“Ugh, i just don’t understand why you’re acting like this when Ive finally started liking you!” she yelled at him, her green eye filling with a sheen of tears, “I actually missed you and you come home and yell at me!”

“I’m not yelling at you!”

“You’re yelling right now!”

“No I’m not!” He stomped up to her so that they were glaring directly at each other. She could see the fury in his eyes as well as see the way the bags under them were sunk in and his skin looked paler.

“Yes you are! If you just stopped yelling and actually tried using your—" 

His large hands moved quickly, too quickly for her to react as they slid into her hair and gripped the back of her head. Before she could even gasp his mouth crashed onto hers. He swallowed her sound of surprise, his lips demanding her compliance as much as they would had he been speaking. But it only took a moment for her to close her eyes and grip the front of his work shirt, letting his tongue invade her mouth, taste and explore in a way that he had never done before.

This was the first time he had made an actual move on her. Sure he flirted and was always joking but this was the first time he had ever kissed her. it was passionate and full of desperation and anger. She simply let him dominate her. her back hit the wall as he walked her backwards. The hard thumb sent an framed art piece to the ground with a crash. He didnt stop his assault on her mouth and she didn’t want him to.

Once their lungs begged for real breathing, he pulled away slowly as if not wanting to really do so. They looked at each other for a moment before her knees went out and she found herself sliding to the hard wood floor. Instead of catching her, the white haired heir followed her down until they both sat on the floor, cereal crunching under their heels and a broken frame and glass littering the ground to the right of them.

He kneeled between her bent knees, forehead resting against hers. She placed her hands on his wrists as he still had them trapped in her hair.

"Bad day?” she whispered to him softly. He quietly nodded, moving his forehead against hers, taking calming breaths.

“Want to talk about it?” She asked softly. He shook his head ‘no’ before slowly moving away from her only to move her knees so that her legs were folded to her left and he could lay down on his back, with his head pillowed by her lap.

She blushed at the contact, he was so comfortable and calm around her that it was almost more intimate than the kiss they just shared. he closed his eyes and placed his hands folded on his stomach, not caring that he laid on crushed cereal or that they were in the hallway.

“I’m sorry. Today was…hard..” he said softly, opening his eyes to look up at her for a moment before closing them again, “I missed you too.”

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered wildly and she smiled as she lifted a hand to run through his hair, softly raking her nails over his scalp. He took a deep calming breath leaning into her touch.

“Its okay, just tell me next time ‘kay?”

“Okay.”

She ran a hand through his hair a couple more times in comfortable silence.

“Hey punz?” he asked softly, eyes still closed.

“yes, Jack?”

“Will you sing to me?” he asked. She paused. She didnt really like singing in front of people. Her step mother always told her she was awful at it. Her friends later on told her that she was actually really good but self esteem issues never really go away.

“Only this once, ” She replied.

Jack smiled.

“Tale as old as time, true as it can be…barely even friends…then somebody bends..unexpectedly…”