So, been busy with work and such lately and haven’t really had any time for much right now. But as I’m currently downloading Elder Scrolls Online to give it a go I figured I’d kill time by doing something I’ve been meaning to do for a while…
A good hero can make a great game, the best are remade again and again and their different incarnations color and shape them overall in our collective mind, and sometimes they don’t even need characterization. I’ve got a friend who says that he wants to play up the image of being Gordon Freeman despite him basically being a non-entity with a goatee who never speaks to anyone.
In my mind, the real mark of a good game is it’s villains. The antagonists who can be sympathetic, sadistic, and sometimes downright psychotic who the hero has to defeat to save the day.
Below is my top ten list of digital baddies who have haunted the various worlds of video gaming throughout my life as a gamer.
“It’s me, Ryan,” Gavin cries, and his voice is breaking a little, but his eyes are furious, “How could you think I’d ever hurt you? Could ever betray you like… like that-”
“Because I never thought you’d do this,”
I FINALLY DID IT *dies on floor* major thanks to angel for helping me with this <3
But yes Trust is an amazing story you should all read! ive been a huge fan of Whalehuntingboyfreinds work and looking forward to every new update that i had to make fanart since ive been meaning too for a while >w<
Now to cry over feels and wait for the next chapter
hi! Any other jihan blog recommendations?? Thanks!!
Anon do you mean jihan based blogs or jihan stans? i haven’t been active on tumblr in quite a while so im not sure about any new blogs but heres a few suggestions?
@fyjihan is always a go to (bless laura) @jihanlife posts regularly and updates with translations from twitter and such even though @jihanetwork is no longer as active as it once was you can check out the members page for people to follow or even check the network tag and see who posts in it or even go through my jihan tag and all the people i’ve reblogged from over the past two years. theres really so many and its been so long i dont even know if all the usernames are the same :/
so ive been wanting to write a book or a play or something for a while now and after watching the baftas ive been inspired to write something which not only means something to me, but would mean a lot to a whole other load of people too.
what i am aiming to do is write about the lives of a group of lgbt friends. teenagers struggling to find their way in life based on experiences of real lgbt people. its not going to focus on them being lgbt but them as people and how being lgbt is incorporated into that.
ive had enough sad, depressing lgbt films where the focus is the struggle of being lgbt. i want one which is about realistic accurate representation about teenagers who are trying to find out if they got to uni, or are unsure of whether to go to that party on frida or not.
the plot is yet to be considered but i rly want to tell this story. i rly do.
it means so much to me growing up having to see these cutting edge films abt lgbt people being at conflict with who they are. why can’t there be a film where lgbt kids have found that and know but just want to get on with life and show that the struggle is with The Man not with themselves.
i'd also like to see more youtube videos from you!! you could do more t updates, or a makeup tutorial, or an ootd video, or show off all yr tats?? :o
o yea ive been meaning to do a tattoo video i remember i said i would do one a while ago lol!! i should also do another t update bc i like, have facial hair n shit now.. i feel like there r other people more qualified to do makeup/outfit videos than me because it would just be “hey i smeared this dollar store eyeliner around and i wore the same jeans ive been wearing all week but today i wore a slightly different black tshirt” which would get old fairly fast but im glad thats like, a thing anyone would wanna see me do ? anyways ty for sending me this ill try and do more soon !
okay i started reading a book today and its like i was MEANT TO FIND IT…
cos heres how it broke down, after reading that holly black book, i went to rate it on good reads, and this book was suggested to me. i only saw the cover, but the cover alone is the reason i was like ‘ill read that’ and added it to my list:
those of you that have been around for a minute will know that whitewashing is my petpeeve, and that whitewashing book covers is an important subset of this. if theres a poc in the book, and they SHOW HER ON THE COVER, that book automatically gets my full focus (this is how i read another book ive been meaning to rec to yall), because while the trend in YA novels right now is to have white girls posing vaguely on the covers, youll know a book has a poc protag because they conveniently do not show a person on the cover
but this shit right here???? unambiguously a black girl with beautiful natural hair and a GORGEOUS cover and i fell in love right away
so, i saw this on good reads right before heading to work. and when i get there? this book has been put on display and i almost lose it lmao, im like YES. i literally dont know what this book is about, so i grab a copy from the display and sneak some peeks at it during slow times on the selling floor
turns out this book is literally about an afro-latina girl, a MIXED GIRL!! who is a painter turned street artist. this book is based in carribean folklore (yall know i love faerie shit but im always thirsty for non-european folklore in modern fantasy novels) and whats more??
anika noni rose (who, if you dont know, is the va for PRINCESS TIANA my hero ) literally is the first quote on the back of the book, with this raving review:
“I love this book for the richness of its culture, the strength of the characters, the humor and the truth of its language. Sierra is the heroine we’ve been waiting for – a pretty, brown-skinned Latina artist who is smart, strong, inventive, and unsure, all the while being heroic. Daniel José Older is one of my favorite new voices, and I can’t wait to see what he (and Sierra) come up with next.”
so im like, beside myself. i brought it home today and im already liking it a lot. im only 20 pages in and heres some facts:
introduced to several named characters, all of which are unambiguously poc with diverse presentation
the protagonist is a mixed black/latin@ girl, who wears her hair naturally in an afro and has a strong sense of community
her crew is all girls at this point
two of which are a poc lesbian couple!!!!!!!!!! (one half of which is a talented freestyle rapper)
the male lead is an artsy boy from haiti who seems sweet (and not creepy and forceful like ya male leads tend to be)
they talk to each other in casual aave that doesnt seem awkward and forced
painting and street art are an integral part of this story, as well as a sense of community (no convenient parental neglect so these teen protags can run around and do whatever while being strangely isolated)
im pretty sure the antagonist is gonna be a white guy that is a professor on their culture trying to claim their ancestor-art-magic and appropriate it for his own gain
im literally beside myself, i cant believe this book is a front of the line, mainstream novel. its (somewhat unfortunately) touted as cassandra clare meets carribean culture, but im hoping that this author takes off and claims a corner all his own without having to be defined by a mainstream white authors style
my hopes are so high i literally dont think theres a way for this book to disappoint me.
Ive been better for a while now but I still think about dying sometimes. Better means you swallow three meals a day and keep them in without listening to the screaming in your head. Better means you let people touch your arms instead of slicing them open in private. Better means, unfortunately, that you still want to do the things that hurt you but you decide not to instead. Better is a battle I fight every day and it can get hard sometimes. Tonight I will fall asleep alone wrapped in blankets, covering bare skin I still don’t love all the way yet. I will think of all the same things I used to, for a while, but it is ultimately up to me to fall asleep and start the battle again tomorrow.
ahhh my good old childhood love… i got rly nostalgic while working on this remembering stuff from the books; ive been meaning to do a homage to harry potter now that i’m Old™ but i didnt get around to it until yesterday. you can get this print at tracon X in september!
ok ive been meaning to do something like this for a while omg first one is a bodytype change comparison AND ALSO JASON’S FIRST NEKKID REF pre-vampirism is a regular red gelert and post-vampirism is a darigan gelert.
the second one is pretty plot-relevant, Rogue being his first ever vigilante identity when he was getting started and it was definitely more heroic than Vanmori, his current vigilante identity. angst driven dog kinda became an antihero by now.
It was a little ridiculous to put so much effort, time and money into a birthday celebration while they were at war. But Xaver couldn’t make himself feel bad for it, even though he knew he should. He loved birthdays too much. Birthdays meant family and friends (though this year it was mostly family, considering most of his friends were currently fighting in said war, which he did not want to think about too deeply), dancing, handsome nobility (who were much better company than his husband), and most importantly: presents. Xaver loved presents. He couldn’t help that part of him either, though, again, maybe he should have. Sadly, the days surrounding his birthday never began with presents. They began with the most dreadful part: the welcoming of the guests, who all wanted three hour long conversations with him about topics he did not even remotely care about. It was worse, now that Aradir was constantly around. Xaver could feel the hateful (and frightened) stares people gave his husband, just as well as the pitying and sometimes gloating glances they gave him. He didn’t want their pity. It would get him nowhere. Especially not out of this marriage. Nevertheless he smiled at all of them, enduring the conversation that (almost) made him wish his birthday was over already. Yes, he was absolutely delighted they could make it. No, he was still the same height as he had been last year. Yes, his dearly beloved husband was going to attend the festivities. Of course, why not? Well if they did not want to see him they would have to look away. A trick he had learned in marriage?Yes it proved so helpful. A laugh here, a laugh there. It was tiring.
Xaver was about to fall asleep (he did not care much for the economicalbenefits related to the trade of vegetables and why peasants just simply could not be trusted with anything regarding tomatoes these days), when the doors to the great hall opened once more and two small children sweeped in, followed by two (much larger) adults. “Xi!” One of the two smaller humans, a girl wih a high pitched voice suitable for her age,
called out and darted towards Xaver, her brother right behind her. Up close they looked even more alike than they did from afar. They were almost similar in height (though the boy was a little bit taller than the girl, which she tried to make up for by standing on her tiptoes at all times) and both had wavy black hair and dark eyes. They looked nothing like Xaver who gave them a bright smile, dismissing his previous conversation, and picked up the girl, while the boy clung to his sleeve. “Raj, Chaya, don’t run like that. You’ll run into someone.” Xaver reminded them, halfheartedly, but only because their mother and Xaver’s aunt was currently frowning at them. She probably wasn’t all too happy about her children being so close to Aradir. Raj however seemed fairly pleased about that. He was still holding on to Xaver’s sleeve, bouncing up an down, his eyes fixed on the Vierr. “You’re so huge! If you stand on tiptoes, can you reach the ceiling?”
ive been meaning to make this post for a while and i justt.
victoria truly does not care too much about kate. and before you start saying “thats not true!!” let me explain
at the beginning of the game, it is totally realistic that vic is doing it out of insecurity. it seems like it, it looks like it, and it feels pretty believable. but then it gets to episode 2, and kate is on the roof. now, if someone was truly acting out like this to someone to feel better about themselves, they’d realize there that they messed up.
but what does vic do?
she records it.
i want to know what was going through her mind when she saw the girl that she had harassed, bullied, and tormented up on a roof about to jump to her death.
i want to know what goes through her head, after already making a life destroying video about kate, to decide to pull out her phone to get her fall on camera.
later on in episode 4, if kate lives, you visit her in the hopital. now this is the scene where people think that vic regrets what she did, and understandably so. in kate’s hospital room, there’s a letter from victoria.
I know you hate me and you should but I only want to see your smile again.
Please let me know if you need anything.
first reaction: she regrets what she is done and sorry about it!
but if you take a second look at the letter, she never actually apologizes. she never says the words “I’m sorry”
or even actually references to the idea that she’s sorry about it at all.
personally, if i had ever played any part at all in a scenario like the one that drove kate to death, i would be writing “im sorry”’s every other line. id make sure that person knew how sorry i was. id make sure that person know how awful i felt.
vic, her main harasser, does none of this, and instead points out a short version of “yeah i suck”
later on in episode 4, you have to talk to vic again. this time in the conversation, its very clear that she does not feel like owning up to her obvious mistakes.
this was where it pieced together for me. anyone who genuinely cared about someone’s well being after such a horrible occurrence would own up to just a crucial mistake.
“but it is difficult to say sorry sometimes!”
in a situation like this, an apology is greatly needed. Absolutely needed. victoria knows this, everyone knows this. and not an apology phrased like this:
thats not how you apologize for inadvertently killing/almost killing someone. this whole section of their conversation was filled with dismissive tones, and a seemingly lack of caring about the topic in general on victoria’s part
in the next scene, she even uses kate’s position (that she created) to try and gain more popularity:
these last lines confirmed it for me.
after the all of this was over i had to think about what i had heard and saw. from these things, it pieced together that she had/has no major concern for kate, kate’s feelings, or kate’s safety in general.
and i know many of you are now probably thinking of the scene in episode 5, and i’ll talk about that now.
these girls are in a nightmare position. they’ve been drugged, kidnapped, photographs, and god knows what else.
victoria has every right in the world to cry and be upset and scared. she’s been through a hell that she probably doesnt even remember. she doesnt know if she’s even going to make it out alive.
to tie it in with kate: it took this long and this far for her to realize that she messed up. its when she has no idea if she’ll live or die that she realizes her mistakes with how she treated her, showing like before that this was not her main regret, concern, or worry after a suicide/attempted suicide that she caused.
reviewing all of this, these questions come to mind:
why did she videotape kate? what had she done to vic to make her choose her to lash out against? we know from what we’ve been told that kate has always been quiet, is all for abstinence, and hung out with two people no one else really spoke to (stella and alyssa). from these things you can infer that before the video she probably never even had a conversation with victoria, let alone a reason to be used as a target.
so why her?
in summary/tldr; kate meant nothing to victoria, and was used as a way to lash out her insecurities. she was, and is, nothing more and nothing less to her than that.