ive been crying over this all day : (

i cant explain my love for nu’est

02 불타오르네

member: suga

word count 1.5k


“What’s you relationship with another?”

Suga rolled around on top of you as you kissed things were burning up after the long wait of today.Being on tour with Bangtan wasn’t easy. being a young manager for Bangtan was even harder, staying away from Min Yoongi during day time hours was the hardest. Because things kept heating up matter of fact. it would be nice if you started taking cloths off now.

He bit your lip and smiled.

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I Need You

i wanted to be the one that was there for you forever. i wanted to be yours until the day i died. i wanted to have you for the rest of my life. i would still do anything for you, through all of the pain and all of the bullshit, i would still go to the ends of the earth for you, and thats so fucking scary to me. even after youve hurt me, ripped out my heart, stomped on it, and told everybody i was the worst person youve ever met, i would still go out of my way just to see you smile at me. just to look down at those beautiful brown eyes and see your smile. see my world. i had plans for you, i had plans for us. i knew what i wanted to do with my life. i knew what i wanted to do after high school, where i wanted to go to college, who i wanted to do it all with, and where i wanted to move and who i wanted to do it all with. i wanted to move on that fucking island with you. jesus i was so fucking in love with you that i have no motivation to even wake up and go to school because i know ill see your face and ill feel my stomach drop and have the need to just fall to my knees and weep. id still do anything for you. im sitting in my house, in my room, doing nothing all fucking day. i dont even want to move, i dont want to get out. i just want to die. i feel like without you, i no longer have any purpose in this world. and that hurts so fucking bad. id do anything for you baby..id do anything. id take my own life just to see you smile one last time, and thats the scariest thing to me. im so in love with you, even after you hate me, that i would do anything, and jesus i mean anything just to make you happy. i cant stop crying. i cant even get out of my fucking bed. i feel dead. i feel so fucking lost without you. ive never been so sad in my entire life. its as if my will to do anything left when you did, and with that, goes my universe. im crushed, im so fucking crushed. its as if ive hit an all time low, rock bottom, and ill always carry these weights with me my entire life. these chains that im tied to you. and as i sit at home, in my room sobbing over you, i know youre out there happy. youre getting out, youre talking to other people, you actually have the will, have hope to do anything. ive lost all fucking energy to do anything. i just sit in my room sobbing over you. ive been crying day in and day out for three weeks. sitting in my bed sobbing. its gotten so bad that  my fathers even come back into my life because hes worried. and when a man who hasnt been in your life for 17 years comes into your life because hes worried about you, you know youre fucked. im fucked. im so in love with you that without you i have no more faith. in myself, or in anybody. ill never get over you. and tomorrow night, ill be laying in my bed sobbing even more, because ill know youre out at prom, having fun, while all i can do is cry over you. i have no more hope. ive lost everything. ive lost everything.. ive put everything into you, and now that youre gone, im gone. i cant do this anymore. its too much to see you everyday and want to just sob over you. i hate myself for this. all i need is to talk to you. jesus i feel so dead without you. id do anything for you, and that has me scared shitless that im so in love that id do anything even after all thats happened between us. ill love you forever, and the worst part about it, is ill be telling my kids about you. ill tell my kids that i had this girlfriend in high school, and that i still love her more than i love their own mother. i know for a fact ill never love again, itll all just be lust. my heart belongs to you, and youll have it forever. nobody else will ever have it. nobody else.. ill never stop loving you. jesus i want to drop out of high school entirely because the thought of it makes me think of you. im willing to ruin my entire life over you, and maybe thats what i need to do. ill spend an eternity in hell for what ive done to you, and that eternity will be my soul and heart being torn as i watch the one thing ive ever cared about be happy without me. i feel so gone. so dead.. so useless. my parents were right. im just useless. im a piece of shit. im an asshole. but she is..she is still everything i wrote a year ago. but what i am, i am a man, im not a man. i am a boy who is dead inside, and will always love you. id die for you..id do anything for you. say the words and i would do it. anything baby..id do anything for you. and i hate myself for that. i hate myself for loving you. i hate myself for losing you. i fucking hate myself. i want you, and i would do anything. i cant express that enough..anything.. ill never forget you, and i know that because this pain in my heart will never leave. my soul has been crushed. my world has been crushed. im so fucked..i have so much hate for myself that the love i had for you equaled it out. but now that i cant love you, the only thing in my heart is hatred for myself, and the memory of the love i used to be able to express for you. i miss you.. i fucking miss you and the only thing in this world that could make me feel whole again would be to see your smile..your lips on mine..the sound of your voice..god i hate myself for letting you go. you left. call it what you want, bottom line youre gone and i have no will to do anything anymore because of it. i cant remember the last time i laughed, the last time i smiled. but i can remember the sound of your voice, those eyes, your hand in mind. i remember. and ill never forget. i never want to forget, because the love i have for you is the only thing that makes me feel like a human being and not a fucking monster. i love you. i love you so much. i love you. baby.. goodbye my love. its been so long, but for you, it was time. ill never find a time to get over you. ill never do anything without remembering you. im so sorry..and im so in love with you. i love you so much. all of the things ive been doing lately dont feel the same. even crying without you doesnt feel the same. i hate it..but i love you. even my writing feels worst. this letter or, whatever this shit is, it doesnt feel good. its a mess, but its my genuine thoughts. i need you right now.. nobody will ever compare to you, and i never want anybody else. ill never forget. fuck.. im sorry. i love you baby.. i love you. goodbye.. you are the love of my life, and you always will be. she will be loved, and loved i made sure to do. ill never stop loving her, even when shes with another, ill still love her. all my friends are worried about me. my family. jesus even random people at school are asking me. i guess ive started to look how i feel. im scared that ill never stop loving you, but the truth, i never want to stop loving you. because something as beautiful as the love i have for you, is something special. almost as special as you.. i dont know how to end this. i dont know where to end this. theres so much on my mind. i didnt know one person could have so much impact on me. i didnt know the topic of one person could make me write non stop over her. you were the love of my life. and now i understand the meaning of it. ill love you for the rest of my life, even when i never see you again, ill always think of you. ill always dream of you. ill always love you. ill always fucking love you. i get the meaning of love, and to me, the meaning of love was you and i together. ill never get to experience that again. ill never forget you. and ill never be the same without you. i love you so fucking much. i am in love with you.

MUSE IS COMING TO AUSTRALIA I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD ACTUALLY COME TO AUSTRALIA! I CANNOT FATHOM THAT I WILL ACTUALLY SEE THEIR REAL FACES AND BODYS AND HEAR THEIR REAL VOICES AND IT WONT JUST BE THROUGH A COMPUTER SCREEN LIKE ALL THESE YEARS! When I woke up to twitter this morning and saw their tweet I just started crying and I was crying telling my mum that they are actually coming over here and I’ve been crying a lil bit throughout my school day and I cried to my friends and my boyfriend when I told them muse is coming to Australia and I’m crying right now typing this post IVE JUST BEEN SO SAD ALL THESE YEARS THAT THEY HAVE NEVER BOTHERED TO COME TO AUSTRALIA AND I WILL ACTUALLY FINALLY SEE THEM AT LEAST ONCE IN MY LIFETIME AND I CAN DIE A HAPPY DEATH NOW BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN MUSE LIVE

midterm stress

A/N: this is short and sweet, thanks anon for the request i loved writing this because it gave me such brad feels, so here ya go. also I’m catching up on requests so bare with me, ill try to get some done since todays a snow day for me (:

it was the last day of midterms and you needed to make sure you passed this test so that you could get by in this class. you had been studying all day ever since you’ve gotten home and you had all of your papers laid out on the bed spread out trying to organize everything. you heard the door creak open when you saw brad standing there with a cheeky smile on his face while holding a taco bell bag. “what are you doing brad” you laughed. “i thought my smart girlfriend would want some taco bell to eat for your study sesh” he giggled dropping off. “your the best” you said grabbing a taco from the bag and taking a bite. you continued going over your notes as brad went to walk out. “brad, babe you can sit in here if youd like im not kicking you out. itll only be another half hour tops i promise”  he then headed over to the couch to open up his laptop for a bit. you were going through vocab for biology and you kept getting the same thing wrong every time  you tried maybe five times through with your flash cards until you tossed them in frustration. “well i guess im gonna fail, because i cant do anything right” you said with your hands over your face. brad rushed directly over to you “baby, dont say that. youll get it. you’re the smartest girl i know” he said holding to the side of your face. “but i cant brad, ive been doing this all day and i know im gonna fail this” you said almost crying. “shhh baby girl no tears, why dont you take a break i miss my baby’s cuddles” he said hugging you with his breath hitting the side of your neck. “oh alright, only because youre the cutest boyfriend like ever” you said kissing him swiftly. “thats my girl, now move these papers so i can actually cuddle with you and watch some tv” he said giggling piling the papers together and put them on the couch.


he wrapped his hands around you and peppered kisses all over your neck. “i love you so much baby i hate seeing you cry” he whispered lovingly in your ear. “im sorry im just extreamly stressed and i need this class to graduate” you said turning to face him. “dont apologize, i just want you to relax. and i think i have a few ideas” he said bringing his face closer to yours. you smiled at your boyfriend in content “yeah? whatd you have in mind then?” leaning even closer. he chuckled starting to kiss you holding your waist  leaning on top of you starting to lick the bottom of your lip, you opening your mouth allowng his tongue to trace the inside of your mouth. “well, a little bit of that, and hm of this” he said before grabbing your butt causing you to squeal. “and maybe a little bit of this” he chuckled before tracing his lips down to your chest. you were a mess under his touch and he knew it. “i love how i could make you get all flustered” he chuckled. you then took the chance to flip him over and straddle his waist whilst he had a shocked expression on his face. “now whos all flustered?” you asked sarcastically. “kiss me” he mumbled bringing his face close to yours. you decided to tease him a little bit so you started of kissing him very slowly biting his bottom lip, causing him to groan. you began rocking your hips a little bit before kissing him. “babe if you dont cut that out im gonna cum in my pants” he said with a laugh. “stop what?” you asked sucking on his neck. “oh fuck babe, you’re killing me” he said with a groan. you pulled away finally and sat down give him one more peck on the cheek. “how was that for a break babe?” he smirked. “i think i need to have those type of breaks every day of the week” you laughed. “im down for it anytime, any day of the week babygirl” he said sweetly. “brad, i love you so much. thanks for calming me down” you said cuddling into him. “i love you too, so much. i dont think youll ever fully understand how much i care for you baby” he said kissing you on your forehead cutely.

anonymous asked:

um hi hello so ever since touken's wedding was released i was so in love with the panels and designs and i literally think about it all day but then you posted the colored panels and i think i just ???? im crying its so beautiful and ive been looking through it over and over again for like 15 min. is it possible for you to have that wedding panel edited as a lockscreen? its so so pretty thank you!!

thanks! idk what your phone dimensions are and i’ve never done a phone wallpaper edit before so i just did it 16:9 here

anonymous asked:

Ur young im sure that once u manage to compile the energy youll find ways to model! I too think ud make a good model, bc u have a very charismatic and distinctive look/aura. Anyway have a good day!!

this actually makes me want 2 cry thank you so much for having so much faith in me like i would love love love to do it but its more of a money issue + like exposure issue than anything and im so grateful for everybody tht has stuck by me the past few years bc i know ive been all over the place i just hope i can do u guys proud each step of the way like holy shit but thank you so much bubba <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

anonymous asked:

ive been internally crying over the bts b-side pics all day and i need to get this out so im gonna direct it here, to you, right now, sorry! but JINS LEGS. IN THE WHITE SHORTS. HIS THIGHS. OMG. im ded. im so ded i cant even breathe. its so amazing. they're so... theyre too much. its all too much for me. thank you and goodNIGHT im going to go take a cold shower.... the legz.... so juicy...

Anon, NEVER be sorry for coming into my inbox raving about what amazing legs Jin has because I’m always and forever gonna hold this as one of my favorite subjects in the whole world because - hhhhh Jin’s legs hhhhhhh.  

From his hips:

Down to his thighs

Through his perfect lovely pink Knees

His lovely strong calves:

All the way down to his cute feet:

Truly anon, I can never get tired of taking this amazing trip NEVER.  Thank you for brightening my day with this ask.  

ifdragonscouldtalk hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet “ifdragonscouldtalk hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet “In one world,…”

Im crying sorry i didnt actually message u dont worry ive been vaguing u all day. Netflix is chill. But nO i dont really im gOOD

Oh okay. In that case you should probably know that most of anything vague goes straight over my head so I’m just gonna head over to your blog in a moment and start butting in wherever :) 

That…sounds like I should bury you under a wave of How ReRe Took The Catastrophe That Is Civil War And Made It All Worse am I right? :)))) 

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Lara Croft has been a huge video game character for almost 20 years and she's always been portrayed as sexy and scandalous to sell the games. In old ads she was nothing but overly sexy but in the games she uses her sexuality to be smart. It's another weapon in her arsenal, she uses it to outsmart those in her way, along with her actual weapons and her brains. She's really brilliant, despite having huge boobs and a tiny waist, something people see and focus on over everything else about her. She's also the most badass, ice-cold bitches in gaming, but everyone focuses on her body. They even got that in the 2013 reboot, everyone complained about her being a cry baby, but by the end she was throwing herself into the action whenever she got the chance. Lara Croft is smart, sexy, empowering, strong, and probably one of the most important female characters in gaming.

sadmachiines  asked:

good evening! are requests open? if they are, can you write something about 16 year old MC (all their relationships w the rfa are platonic) being an American student at a boarding school? like how do the RFA help her get used to being in Korea away from their family and home? sry this is so weirdly specific but if u can do this then thank you <3 i love you!

writing this because i love platonic mc x rfa and i love you

~femC

Yoosung

  • american food!!!
  • he invited her over one day just to hang out with him!!
  • and when she walks in BLAM
  • she can smell hot dogs and burgers and FRENCH FRIES!!
  • Yoosung appears, waving around little american flags
  • “welcome to your very own american-style restaurant!!” 
  • MC lifts her hands to her mouth as she smiles
  • “Yoosung, you have no idea how good it smells in here”
  • Yoosung grabs MC’s hand and pulls her into the kitchen
  • he guides her through a spread of burgers, hot dogs, fries, and fresh fruit
  • he made way too much food but thats fine
  • “i wasnt sure if you were going to want to eat the meat so i have soy burgers and stuff too”
  • oh my god theres so much food
  • Yoosung and MC have their meal together and then have to spend quite a bit of time putting away the left overs
  • Yoosung’s surprise is the gift that keeps on giving because him and MC are eating american food together for the next week
  • and from that point on Yoosung and MC make french fries together all the time becasue Yoosung found that he actually LOVES THEM WAY MORE THAN HE THOUGHT

Zen

  • it started when Zen called her at 8 saturday morning
  • “hey MC, you dont have school today, right?”
  • “no, why?”
  • “i’m coming to pick you up. be there in 10”
  • “oh okay-!”
  • ten minutes later he was, in fact, there
  • “Zen, whats all this about?”
  • “its a surprise”
  • the surprise was a movie day with the whole RFA
  • MC and Zen got to his house, and everyone was there
  • the whole RFA was wearing pajamas and eating popcorn out of big bowls
  • “Zen..what-”
  • “its a movie day, MC! just for you!”
  • “what movies are we going to watch?”
  • “i rented all of your favorites”
  • Zen holds up some DVD’s and MC grabs them, smiling
  • “i used to watch these so much at home!!”
  • she tackles Zen in a big hug
  • “but, these are all in english! how are you guys going to watch?”
  • “dont worry, we have subtitles”
  • even though the RFA has to read subtitles, the whole day is so fun and it means so much to MC
  • it really feels like home!

Jaehee

  • she picks MC up from school one day as a surprise!!
  • she has a coffee ready for MC to drink
  • “do you mind hanging out at my place for a bit?”
  • “not at all! ive had long day”
  • when Jaehee and MC get to her place the first thing Jaehee says when they get inside is “we’re home!!”
  • who is she-
  • “Jaehee is that you? is our daughter with you?”
  • there were voices coming from Jaehee’s laptop on her coffee table
  • MC rushed over to the laptop to see that Jaehee had set up a skype call with her family
  • her parents were there and even her siblings
  • MC wants to cry this is so sweet
  • she’s been calling home but she doesnt have a laptop so she hasnt been able to see their faces
  • this meeting means so much to her
  • Jaehee just watches happily as MC waves to her family and her little siblings
  • and blushes when she hears MC telling her parents all about her new best friends, the RFA

Jumin

  • MC was doing homework in her room when she hears a knock on her door
  • she wants expecting anyone and the RFA usually tells her if they’re coming over so shes a little confused but answers the door
  • she opens the door and is greeted by both of her parents attacking her with a hug
  • instant TEARS
  • “what are you guys doing here? when did you get here? how did you-”
  • MC’s parents hand her a note
  • i know youve been missing them. here’s a gift from me to you, for showing me kindness where no one else would. -Jumin
  • MORE CRYING
  • she calls Jumin that day and thanks him a billion times
  • he’s even arranged a place for them to stay
  • and had jaehee plan out some sight-seeing things for them
  • MC missed her parents so much, this visit was exactly what she needed
  • screw anyone who says Jumin is heartless!!

707

  • MC was actually studying and fell asleep at her desk
  • when she was woken up by her ringtone
  • Seven was calling!
  • she answers and instantly hears his voice
  • “hello! this is seven zero seven!”
  • it was common for Seven to say something in english when she answered the phone
  • “hey Seven. whats up?”
  • “just calling to see how my favorite girl is feeling today”
  • he didnt switch back to korean
  • Seven kept talking to her in english
  • so she answers him in english
  • “where did you learn that? i didnt know you could speak english”
  • “i thought if we could speak english to each other if might feel more like home to you”
  • “really? you learned some english just for me?”
  • “yup! hey want to hang out later? we can go to a baseball game and eat hot dogs and apple pie and talk about how much we hate donald trump”
  • MC busts out laughing
  • Seven was sweet but his english was still a little awkward sounding
  • “only if you come pick me up in a big, muddy pick-up truck”
  • “deal!”
  • MC had no idea that something as simple as a conversation in english could help her feel more at home

thanks for reading!!! i super hope you liked it a bunch ^^