week leading up to your surgery you felt mostly numb. You weren’t scared or
anxious. Just numb. Your parents had come to Texas and were staying in your
house while you still stayed with Jensen. Jensen had noticed your change in
demeanor and while he was trying to change it by staying upbeat, he wasn’t
pushing the issue. He didn’t want to come on too strong.
that the IV was out of your arm you could go in the pool and that was where you
could be found most of the time, floating on a raft or just on your back in the
water, eyes closed, lost in thought. “Hey.” Jensen approached, sitting on the
side of the pool and dangling his legs into the water. “Everyone’s gonna be
here soon for dinner. Unless you wanna cancel.”
can’t cancel now.” You sighed and dragged yourself out of the pool. “Besides,
your parents are coming and I’ve never met them. I don’t want them to hate me
wouldn’t hate you.” Jensen grabbed your towel and wrapped it around your body.
“You’ve talked to ‘em on the phone. They love you just as much as I do. We’ll
make dinner quick and kick everyone out and then it’ll just be me and you.”
you were my anchor but now I need to learn how to stay steady without you. when night hits i hit back harder. when morning gets here I’m bruised and aching but I’m still here so it counts it counts it counts.
every time I have a dream about you, I wake up crying. last night you loved me and the night before you didn’t. once you told me you had a dream we were together and I still think about that, but only when I’m trying to convince myself you were good, too.
i’ve never known how to say goodbye so I keep saying hello but you don’t want to hear it anymore so I’ve stopped calling. the cards are in your hands and if I were you I’d throw the deck but this was never my decision it was always yours and you made that pretty clear when you chose her.
i’m not petty I’m just tired. its okay and it’s not. every song hurts but so does silence. i keep trying to wake up but the punches aren’t landing. nothing is impacting.
Description: After an accident you wake up with temporary memory loss and can’t remember being in love with your boyfriend.
Warnings: mentions of a crash, basically the whole thing is based on someone losing their memory temporarily.
Word Count: 2026
A/N: first of all i am v v v sorry if this isn’t 100% accurate but it was an idea playing around in my head so i just took things from what i know and shows ive watched. i also wrote half of this while i was in a crap mood and the other half when i was v sick so it might not be the greatest but it’s something. also forgot my tags list on this one i’m the worst. and i almost didn’t wannt post this bc i’m a lil iffy on it and don’t want to trigger anyone or upset folk but yolo i guess. it’s not too bad ???
Forgetting thing is always annoying. Whether it’s where you put your keys, plans with friends, if you’d taken your dog out - simple things like that. Trying to search your brain to see if you can figure out if you can remember is never anyone’s favourite thing to do but imagine if you couldn’t remember anything at all.
Never mind where the keys were. Imagine what it must be like to not remember anybody, memories and everything you used to know. Imagine having everything you ever knew ripped away from you.
So I love a good zimbits sexytime as much as the next person but you know what I would like to propose??
Like smol itty Bitty realizing he’s attracted to men (definitely aesthetically + romantically!) and never looking beyond that, because that was such a huge thing to admit to himself on its own, especially considering how little representation there was out there for people like him. And then he comes to Samwell and learns what the A in LGBTQA+ stands for but it still doesn’t really click with him, you know? He just never considers it. Like he just…never really feels sexual attraction, but he sees guys that look nice and guys he’d like to date so he just assumes maybe he’s a late bloomer, or it just has to do with lack of experience, and that when he finds the right guy that will come after.
And then he starts to date Jack!!! And he’s so happy and they kiss and cuddle and have so many skype dates and things are just honestly amazing. He’s never been happier about anything. But then he starts to realize that..he still, doesn’t really have any interest in sex? Which is weird because he loves Jack and wants to be with him and legitimately thinks Jack is beautiful but…the sexual desire just isn’t there.
So Bitty freaks out a little bit, and then Jack comes to visit him in Madison. And things are amazing, they love dating and being grossly in love, but Jack can tell something is up, so it’s late at night in Bitty’s room and Bitty just…spills. That he doesn’t have any interest in sex, and that scares him, because what if that means he doesn’t have an interest in Jack?? But he doesn’t think that’s true, he loves Jack, but he’s scared. And he’s scared Jack will want to take it further but not be able to, and then they won’t be able to date anymore, and Bitty doesn’t want that but he doesn’t think he can have sex with Jack just to keep him around and what if this ruins everything and-
But Jack doesn’t leave, or freak out, or think he’s broken. And since Jack is somewhere on the ace spectrum, (probably demi or gray-ace) he gets it!! and he just spends the night calming Bitty’s fears and explaining what asexuality is and what it means and feels like, and that Jack is here for Bitty, not for sex, and really, they’re okay. And if Bitty ever did want to go further, Jack would definitely be up for it, but really, he’s happy just the way things are. And that doesn’t make their relationship any less loving or valid or amazing.
And maybe someday Bitty does want to try having sex, but also he might never want to try it. But whichever it is, it doesn’t matter, because they love each other, and Jack will always be there no matter what and things are good. In fact, things have never been better.
Long story short I see nsfw stuff everyday and Ive wanted to try it out…like officially. its always piqued my interest but i feel i never tackled it because of a fear of getting caught and more or less feeling embarrassed.
Also i dont just mean doodle a titty here and there. i mean showing intimate moments between characters whether on the vanilla or kinkier side.
ive got a new found motivation for art now that ive recently picked up drawing and id like to keep this ball rolling. Plus i wanna see some waifus getting it on.
Im going to be studying 1930s ~ 90s cartoon and anime art styles.
Ive always loved the 1930s cartoon styles as well as Osamu Tezuka’s.
I also loved Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go, Teenage Robot, and Panty & Stocking’s art styles too! :D
Ive always wanted to draw in this style and Ive always been scared to try it until now :3
(well, actually its more I didnt know how to go about it until now)
So i know that talking about boundaries is really really important especially when youre ace but ive just recently started talking to this (older) guy and idk how to breach that subject without feeling really uncomfortable.. he knows im ace and that i like physical affection but the other day we started making out (which im ok with) Hard. And... i havent had that much experience with this kind of stuff but i know i dont want to have sex.. (1/)
i dont want anything to do with the “lower region” and whenever i try to explain this to ppl im not involved with they dont seem to understand. Ive already decided not to come out to my family bc of that (they think that all sexuality has to do with is sex) Ive always felt more comfortable talking about this with ppl ive known for a while and that experience makes me kinda not want to hang out again even tho i really liked him before…… help? (2/)
If your date isn’t getting it, then I don’t suggest pursing sex with them. It’d be too much of a risk to put yourself in an insecure situation.
You deserve someone who knows and understands your boundaries.
Jean was trying to set up Marco with this girl for a long time now. Marco, the angel he was, was too kind to say no to his friend….
There was this girl on the training corps that Jean found cute and thought she’d be nice with his friend Marco. Finally one day Jean encouraged Marco to go talk to her.
‘Hello (Name) how are you feeling today?’ Marco said to her. ‘Hi Marco i’m pretty good and you?’ the girl replied.
They talked for a while for lots of random things until it was time for Marco to ‘confess’ his feelings but it was too hard for him, he couldn’t do it since he clearly didn’t feel anything for her. He viewed her only as a good friend..
Then (name) told him. ‘It’s ok Marco i know that you don’t really like me that way, it’s pretty obvious that you like someone else you should let them know’ the girl said while smiling to the freckled boy and left…
Marco was trying to understand how that girl knew his feelings about Jean, was he that obvious? And if he was that obvious why didn’t Jean notice?
Marco finally found Jean and told him how it went with that girl. Marco thanked Jean for trying to set him up with a girl but he said he didn’t have to since he already likes someone else..
‘You like someone else? Oh man why didn’t you tell me, i put you through this mess for nothing.’ Jean said to him..
‘Well, i-its just that i don’t really like….girls in general Jean…my whole life i’ve never been attracted to girls. I’ve always been trying to like girls so i would feel normal but i just can’t. I always end up viewing them as good friends you see.. I like boys.’ the freckled boy said to his friend…
‘Woah what…you… never told me about this… ‘ Jean answered to his friend.
‘(Name) told me to confess my feelings to the person that i truly like so that’s what i’m doing Jean.. i like you..i’ve always had but i was too scared i’d ruin our friendship since you probably don’t feel the same way about me and i-’.. the freckled boy replied to his friend..
‘Y-you like me…..why.. i mean im a shitty person…if you like boys then find a good person, besides.. i like girls don’t you know how famous i am with girls i-’ Jean replied to his friend while being very flustered…..
‘No offence Jean but you are not really popular with girls haha…but that’s ok if you don’t like me i just wanted you to know and actually you are a very good person besides the things that people say about you i l-love you Jean’ Marco said to his friend while Jean interrupted him..
‘M-Marco..maybe there is a possibility that i like both girls and boys because you know…all this time ive actually liked you as well i was just trying to hide it by the fact that i ‘was popular with girls’ but it didn’t work out and i’- Jean replied to his friend but then got interrupted…..
Marco got the courage and kissed Jean. The thing he always wanted to do.
‘I love you too, Marco’ Jean said to his boyfriend, Marco.
is it hyperfixation that ive been listening to the same album none stop and even if i try to listen to a new song i always go back to the same album....i always miss out on new music cause of this lol
Yup, that sounds like hyperfixation to me. I do it too. Sometimes with one song *looks at the number of plays on the theme song for the anime series of Ghost in the Shell* and sometimes a whole album. Sometimes I’ll go on a kick where I just want to listen to one singer, regardless of which album, and so I’ll load all of their music and just listen to all of it.
Trying to get back into the habit of drawing more regularly
and I realized late last night that I really wanted to draw Tommy and Trish
again. So once again you get two pictures for the price of one! :3 I figure
these pictures are about a decade apart (give or take a year), but Trish still
loves her baby brother.
The first one is from probably just before part IV, so Tommy’s
around 11 (I think that’s the accepted canonical age for him in part IV, though
I might be wrong. I’ve seen both 11 and 12, so I’m not sure.) Trish is just
doing what big sisters do best, which is annoy the heck out of their younger
siblings, but I don’t think Tommy minds quite as much as he pretends to.
Although, to be fair, she is smudging his glasses and ruffling his hair. XD
The second picture is fairly shortly after Legacy, or
possibly right at the end (I haven’t decided.) In the joy of knowing Tommy
survived Jason again and he now has a
potential date lined up too, it’s easy to forget that said younger brother
might have some lingering injuries that are still sore. Namely some very tender
cracked ribs. Also it was a chance to draw Tommy in glasses again (and realize
that I need more practice with his face again, sigh.)
i finished my placements today and got 2466 SR, almost platinum. so my stupid ass was like “oh! i can reach platinum tonight i only need to win a few games!” only to go on a losing streak and lose 300 SR because i didn’t know when to stop. why do i do this to myself