okay so my sexuality's a complicated deal so let's just call me queer as hell
nono I wanna know can't you explain it
well ok mainly I am asexual which means I don't want to do the do nor do I long for it, so it has nothing to do with lack of confidence or anything like that, I simply don't find anyone sexually attractive
but I'm also bi romantic. The sexual and romantic attraction are different, and I still fall in love and want to have physical contact with my partner, I just don't need the hanky panky
right cause you have a girlfriend that's pansexual right
exactly and as long as we're both happy with not doing the rumba naked, that's a valid relationship
I get it, I get it... I didn't know the entire sexual and romantic orientations were different
yeah I know it was an eyeopener for me when I found ou-
Lady behind us in line:
excuse me so sorry but I couldn't help but overhear but I didn't know half of what you just said and I was just wondering what that thing your girlfriend was is, pansexual?
*awkward glance at friend* oh uh I'm not an expert or anything and uh ok so basically it's similar to being bisexual, but there's less value in what gender the one you're attracted to is, at least as I understood it. So a bisexual would be attracted to a person despite their gender, a pansexual wouldn't really care at all in a way uh I'm sorry I'm bad at explaining
Lady behind us in line:
that's alright I can look it up myself later you gave me a general idea! So where did you find out these things, you're pretty young?
well, Internet. Once you're a bit confused about what you might be you usually go looking for explanations...
Lady behind us in line:
so uh in theory... It's fine if you don't know, I just want to check with you... Is there a thing called aROMANTIC? like you're asexual, is there a equivalent to the romantic orientation you mentioned?
oh yeah, absolutely! You can be both asexual and aromantic, or aromantic and heterosexual, literally all combinations are possible!
Lady behind us in line:
*smiles LIKE REALLY GODDAMNED GENUINELY* thank you so much, I did not know that. *fishes up phone from pocket* now if you excuse me, I'm going to call my mother and tell her I'm not crazy for never having been married or stayed with one guy for long despite being 50+ but still has three children! *steps out of line and walks off while dialing*
wow that was... Amazing
see how happy she got? That's the power of right information.
And that's why I've been smiling since this happened.
Could you do a got7 reaction like the BTS reaction of you refusing sex?
Of course, Lets start with a little back story.
There was something comforting about going rehearsals with him, a sense of comfort in knowing that those he works with know you exist and that you belong to him, just like he belongs to you. But this was the first time he had asked you to go with him to a live show to watch. Usually, he liked to keep his business life and personal life as far away from one another as possible, not because he was ashamed, but just because he wanted to save you from all the pressure media put on idols who are dating.
You were so excited to go with him, and he was so excited to have you there, to show you exactly what its like for him. You spent all morning stuck to one another, his hand never leaving its secure place on your hip. Even when the other members excitedly bounced over to say hello and give you a sweet hug he was still there, making sure to pull you back. The two of you would laugh as he was put into wardrobe for the show, nd he would blush when you told him how good he looked. There was even a moment where he when he walked over to you, half way through going over what would be done and talked about during the show, just to plant a deep kiss on your lips because ‘you just look so cute.’
You sat by him during hair and make up, you knew these girls didnt like you. You were honestly expecting them not to. The thought of them with their hands all over the hair your tug at when hes pleasuring you and the lips you kiss when your feeling down sent a wave of jealousy through your stomach. It didnt matter though, you knew that, for the entire time he sat there his hand was on your knee, and his eye kept opening so he could look at you.
It was when he was getting the final touches on his make up done that your silly jealousy took a pang. The make up girl told him to look at her, which fine, she needs to make sure everything is even. But when she tilted his chin up with the tip of her pinky and blushed you wouldn’t help the feeling in your stomach.
‘Ive always thought you have the prettiest smile.’ She said stroking a brush along his bottom lip gently, making him smile.
‘Good, I always thought I was the best looking one out of this group.’ He joked. You would have laughed, but his hand left your knee and folded with his own in his lap. The artist looked at you, a smug look in her eyes that made the back of your neck tingle.
‘That feels really good.’ His voice brought you back to look at him. His comment was far from appropriate so why he decided to say it floored you.
‘Of course it does! I know how much you like this part.’ She said making him smile again.
You watched as she continued to apply the numeral pink to his lips. She could have stopped four seconds ago and it would have been perfect, but she had to keep going until their was a light shine on his bottom lip.
‘Whoops, too shiny let me fix that.’ She said bending closer to his mouth. She puckered her lips and blew gently, as if that was going to solve the problem.
You looked forward as she smiled triumphantly, the noise he had made making the smug look in her eyes grow darker. Crossing your arms you turned to face the mirror in front of you and you couldn’t help but catch the eye of another member who had witnessed the whole thing. Seeing that you stood and left the dressing room, not caring that your boyfriend was calling after you.
Not having any way to get home you just took your seat and waited. You tried to smile and laugh when they finally made their way onto the stage but there was no hiding the fact that you were hurt. If he was doing that around you what was he doing when you weren’t? Thinking only made you madder and seeing him staring at you with worried eyes only made you fuming.
In the car afterwards you tried not to sit next to him but he made people shift so he could. He tried to place his hand on you knee but you moved away. He tried to kiss you cheek but you pushed his chest. All you wanted to do was cry.
Getting back to your shared apartment you ignored him, even though he was talking like nothing was wrong. He wold have finally stopped when you walked into the bathroom and slammed the door, taking your clothes of angrily before stepping into the hot shower you had started for yourself…
You slamming the door would make his mind race. What had happened that you were now slamming doors? When you got out of the shower he watched you B-line it into your shared room. The sight of your bare back with pearls of water still holding to your skin made him smile, he loved your back. He’d stand and make his way over to you, licking his lips in the process before he was right behind you. You knew he was there but you had nothing to say to him, so ignoring him was your best option. That was until you felt his lips start on your shoulder and move up your neck. You stepped forward, continuing to ignore him as you reached for a set of comfy clothes. ‘Baby.’ he’d say wrapping his arms around your shoulders to try again. The thought of his lips made you sick, so you pushed him off of you. ‘Leave me alone.’ you said taking the clothes and heading back towards the bathroom. ‘Jagi, whats wrong?’ He’d say, his voice giving away the concern that erupted though his stomach. ‘I said leave me alone.’ You spat. You were just about to slam the door again when he caught it and followed you into the bathroom. ‘Tell me what is wrong.’ He said with stern eyes as you angrily pulled the shirt you grabbed over your head, scoffing when you realized it was his. ‘That shit that you pulled? That was embarrassing. How dare you let shit like that happen especially when I’m sitting right there next to you.’ You said, tears welling in your eyes.
‘Y/n, what are you talking about!’ He said trying to reach out for you again only to have you pull away. ‘Really? Are you that stupid that you didnt even realize that whats her face was all over you! Blowing on your fucking mouth, are you kidding me!’ You said, your loud voice now echoing off of the walls. ‘She was practically rubbing it in my face.’ You added, this time a bit quieter. He rubbed the back of his neck before rubbing his face and trying to pull you in one more time. This time you let him, you hated it when he looked upset. ‘Im so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.’ He said wrapping his arms around you tightly. ‘I can’t handle that kind of things. And if thats happening when I’m sitting right next to you? What happening when I’m not.’ You said, tears now falling.
‘Im so sorry. Nothing. Nothing is happening. Please, Jagi.’
He was your sense of comfort so as you cried you couldn’t help your hands that had wondered up to hold on to his back. Seeing how upset this had made you ruined him, he never wanted to see you cry and the fact that he was the one who made you broke his heart. He’d hold onto you as long as he needed too and although he knew you handnt fully forgave him, it wouldn’t stop him from making it very known that the behavior that had happened was uncalled for and would never happen again.
Mark would never do anything he thought would hurt you in any way. All he wanted was to be the best version of himself just for you. So when you started acting cold towards him his mind would race. He wouldn’t be able to focus during the show, talking less then he already did and when questions were sent his way he was having trouble answering them. When you stormed into the bathroom he figured maybe you just forgot to but deodorant on? He knew how weird you got when you thought you smelt so He’d leave you be, settling himself on the couch and turning the tv on. When you walked out with wet messy hair and in your pajamas he figured you were just tired, but he knew you were never to tired for him. He’d try anything to make you feel good. He stood, corning you in the kitchen before dipping his head down in attempt to kiss you. When you turned your head so he caught cheek his eyebrows would push together, you never turned down a kiss from him. He’d catch your chin and make you look at him, trying to bring his lips to yours again only to have you push his chest hard do he stumbled back away from you. ‘Don’t touch me.’ You said shooting daggers at him before picking up the drink you had poured and walking past him. You only made it half way to your bedroom before his hand caught your elbow. He spun you causing the drink to spill slightly and you to cuss. ‘What part of don’t touch me did you not understand!’ You yelled, trying to fight the lurch you heart gave when his eyes turned from confused to hurt.
‘What wrong?’ He’d ask in a small voice.
‘Whats wrong? Whats wrong is that my boyfriend Someone who is supposed to love me drops me in the blink of an eye when someone else is flirting with them. And the best part? He doesn’t even try to stop it.’ You yelled, pointing a finger at him so he knew exactly who you were talking about. His shoulders would slump and he’d take his bottom lip between his lips. ‘Jagi I-’
‘Dont Jagi I me. I saw what happened. I was there.’ You said turning to leave again. His hand reached for yours again and pulled you back around but this time when he turned you he saw just how hurt you were. ‘Please, I didnt mean it. I didnt think.’ He said trying to pull you into a hug. ‘Mark, stop.’ You said taking in a shaky breath. The hurt in his eyes made your heart turn over and you knew he meant it, you just weren’t ready to forgive him. ‘Im so sorry.’ was all he could whisper as he let you walk away again.
He knew you too well. The moment you were wrapped up in your blankets, tears slowing down and the need for him to hold you over powering you he was already in the room. He’d muster out a small ‘Jagi?’ Seeing if you were willing to talk to him and when you let your head poke up from the covers he’d rush over to you, making you scoot onto his side of the bed so he could slip under the covers in front of you and pull you into his chest. This brought a new wave of tears as you fisted the fabric of his shirt and cried. ‘I love you so much, I’m so sorry.’ you cried. He stroked your hair and made soft shushing noises to break up the sad ‘I love you’s’ he was whispering back to you.
Being completely oblivious of what had happened he’d be all over you the moment you stepped out of the shower. His hand would reach out for your towel and tug at it, laughing playfully as you tugged away from him and continued your way towards the bedroom. He’d then wrap his arms around you and continue to walk you forward, kissing your bare shoulder as the two of you went.
‘I swear to God, Jackson. Get off of me.’ You said shaking your shoulder hard, not caring as it ran gently into his chin.
‘y/n?’ He said, he would have thought you were just kidding and would have jumped right back into playing around, but the fact the you didnt apologize for hitting him in the face set his alarms off. You ignored him, and not caring if he was still standing there watching you, you stripped. Replacing the towel with your pajamas you climbed into bed and pulled the covers up, biting your lip as your eyes began to water. Jackson would call your name again and soon the feeling of the bed dipping down around you told you that he was sitting next to you. ‘I said leave me alone, Jackson.’ Your voice failed, giving off the fact that you were now crying.
‘Jagi, whats wrong? Hey, hey!’ He’d say softly, pulling at your arms till you were sitting up with your face in his chest.
‘Don’t touch me!’ You yelled hitting his chest, but as you tried to pull your arms out of his grip he just held on tighter, not letting you go.
‘Talk to me, why are you mad!’
‘You!” You screamed, finally getting him to let you go. ‘You sit there and humiliate me letting that… that bimbo actively flirt with you! She knew exactly what she was doing and stared at me while she did it! Obviously knowing that you weren’t going to do shit! You-’ He cut you off by pulling you into his chest, tears stinging his eyes as he realized what he had done and how much he had actually hurt you.
All he could do was say he was sorry as he buried his face into your neck, holding onto you tightly. His sorries would be staggered with a string of ‘please don’t leave me, please ill change.’ It would shock him how much this actually bothered him. You half expected him to laugh at your tears and tell you you were dumb, but how upset he had gotten only told you how much he loved you. You’d surprise him when you wrapped your arms around his head, your fingers gently playing with his hair as you silently cried realizing how rude you were being.
‘please don’t give me a reason to think you don’t love me.’ would be all you said before letting him kiss you sweetly.
Conversations from earlier in the day would sent him in a certain mood and while you showered it’d be all he could think about. He’d have trouble containing himself as he waited for the water to turn off and as soon as it did he was outside the bathroom door to wait for you. He’d smirk as you opened the door and looked up to him before walking right past to the bedroom. He followed you, watching the way your hips swayed under the towel and how your wet hair left streams of water down your bare back. You’d have walked up to the bed where your usual sleeping shirt was laying, not even realizing Jinyoung was standing behind you until his hands were running up your bare arms. You ignored him while reaching forward to slip the shirt over your body before stepping just out of his reach to slip on a pair of shorts. He’d step to you and take your cheeks between his hands before trying to lean down to kiss you. When you pulled your face from his hands he’d look at you with upset and confused eyes, confused as to why you were acting like this when not even three hours ago you were whispering things to one another. ‘Are we not going to do this?’ He’d ask, the throbbing in his pants subsiding as he thought about your buzz kill mood.
‘No, Jinyoung. Were not ‘doing this’.’ You said scoffing at him before walking back into the bathroom. He’d roll his eyes and turned around, readying himself for bed. Lights out and laying as far from him as possible you started to cry. He didnt care, if he did he would have figured out that you were mad at him by then. You’d sniffle once as his arm lazily found its way around your neck like it did every night, but still nothing. You’d take his arm off of you, removing yourself from the comfort of your blanket. He’d watch you stand up and make your way to the kitchen, eyebrows pressing together when you refused to return. He never was able to sleep well without you.
‘Jagi? Are you okay?” He’d finally say, bringing him from the bed and making his way over to you.
‘Go back to bed Jinyoung.’ You’d say. He’d realized that it wasn’t the kitchen that you had gone to, but the couch in the living room.
‘What are you doing in here?’ He said, eyebrows still pressed together.
‘Sleeping. Go away.’ You said rolling over so your back was not to him.
‘I dont understand why you would sleep out here when-’
‘Of course you don’t understand, Jinyoung! You never understand. You never open your eyes and realize how big of an idiot you are!’ You said, sitting fully up. You couldn’t help but cringe slightly at your choice of words.
‘Why are you acting like this?’ He’d say crossing his arms over his chest.
‘Why are you putting me second place to other girls? If i knew all it took was a few bats of the eyelash I wouldn’t have waisted any of my time!’ You said standing up so you were now practically nose to nose.
‘When did i put you second-’
‘The fact that you even have to ask that question is the reason why. I get it, girls flirt with you all day long, its apart of the job. But when Im- me the girl you live with and say ‘I love you’ too every night, when Im sitting there and its very obvious you’re into the attention the cute make up artist is giving you its very obvious I’m second.
‘Thats not true, y/n.’ He’d say making you scoff.
‘Then how about this,’ You started standing up, now more angry than ever. ‘You get to sleep on the couch tonight. See for yourself how it feels to be second.’ You said throwing the couch pillow at him and storming off into the bedroom. He wouldn’t let it drop that easy and would come bursting into the bed room, grabbing your hand and pulling you to look at him before you could get into bed.
‘Nothing. No one comes before you. Let that be clear. And now being aware of it I will make sure to put you where you deserve to be.’ He’d pause, hastily reaching for your cheek to stoke it, smiling slightly to himself when you let him. ‘I love you so much. Im so sorry you have to put up with my shit.’
The moment you had started to act distant towards him he’d know something was wrong. Usually when you got upset with him he’d wait it out, apologizing for what ever he did and you would turn around, tell him it was okay and the two of you would cuddle it out. This time was different. He had tried to hold your hand on the car ride home only to have you turn your attention to Jackson and start talking about how he thought the day went. He’d try again a little later, this time apologizing, but when you rolled your eyes knowing perfectly that he had no idea what he was apologizing for you’d just give him a stern look before folding your arms across your chest. Once home, he followed you like a puppy just trying to get you to talk to him but when you slammed the bathroom door in his face and turned on the water to drown out his calls he finally stopped. He’d go to your bedroom and sit on the bed with his head in his hands trying to figure out away to get you to tell him what was wrong. He ended on trying something new. No more pleading, just your favorite acts of love.
He’d watch you walk into your bedroom with just a towel wrapped around you. The daggers you sent him before turning back to your closet made him nervous. With a mental Fuck it He’d stand and close the space between the two of you. Just like he hoped you melted under his touch, letting him kiss up your neck till his lips landed on your cheek. You turned, ready to finally say anything and he’d press his lips to you, giving you the rough passionate kiss that always took you by surprise.
‘Im so sorry, I love you so much.’ He’d say between kisses. This brought reality back into your mind and instantly you pushed him off of you.
‘You don’t even know what your sorry about.’ you said softly, no matter how mad you were you couldn’t get yourself to yell at him.
‘Jae, you… That girl was all over you and you did nothing.’ You said biting your lip. The hurt in his eyes making you feel small and want nothing more than to wrap your arms around him. He hurt you though.
‘I didnt even realize it.’ He said, now knowing exactly what you were talking about. You gave a sarcastic laugh and shook you head, turning away from him once more.
‘You could have anyone and the fact that she felt like she could do that right infant of me just proves that you aren’t as serious about this as I am. I love you with all of my heart and you give girls the vibe that they can take you from me when ever they want. If that happened while I was sitting right next to you what happens when I’m not?’ You said, his eyes began to glisten at what you were suggesting.
‘I would never let anyone come between us, y/n. You know that.’
‘Do I? Because the one time you had a chance to actually prove that you did nothing.’
Thats what would wreck him. The fact that you were right, a girl was actively flirting with him and instead of stopping it he let it happen and he let you see it. He wouldn’t say anything other than a small ‘you’re right.’ to which you’d nod and let him pull you into another hug, this time accepting his promises to always be more attentive to what was happening around him, wether you were there or not.
You could hardly walk out of the bathroom you had been silently tearing in for the past hour without BamBam coming up behind you and slipping his hands under the towel that you clung to your body. ‘God, I want you so bad right now.’ He’d say, his lips grazing your ear before he nipped gently and started to kiss on your sweet spot. Normally you would be a giggling mess right now, already pooling in your panties just with the sole fact of getting him naked. He didnt seem to notice your lack of excitement through the feeling of your next to naked body was pressed against his already growing member. ‘You horny cause that bitch turned you on?’ You said finally getting enough courage to pull out of his grip. Not waiting for a response you walked into the bedroom and slammed the door, and quickly changing before he could walk into the room.
‘What do you mean?’ He’d say with a light bite to his voice.
‘Do you feel obligated to come back to me every night? Is that why we literally have sex all the time? Because girls at work are basically dry humping your dick and you feel like you can’t act on it? Do you picture them when you flip me over?’ You said throwing your towel at him. He caught it, his expression going from 100 to 0 real quick.
‘How could you say that?’ He said, his voice now small.
‘How could I say that?’ You started crossing your arms over your chest. ‘How could you basically let every girl in that room earlier know that Im just a show? That anyone could have you if they just tried hard enough!’ You said throwing the towel that was on your head at him now.
‘Does she fulfill your needs when I can’t? Will she let you do things that I’m uncomfortable with? Was that her marking her territory? Letting me know that you really don’t work late hours, that you spend more time with her?’ You yelled, frustration making your face read and your eyes tear up again.
‘Are you really- do you really think I would cheat on you?’ He said trying to take a step forward, but the look on your face told him he’d be better staying where he was.
‘I didnt think you would actually engage in a flirty conversation in front of me, but here we are.’
He was speechless. He knew there was nothing he could say to make you feel better and it was overwhelming. He’d move to sit on the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands, wracking his brain on something to say that would make you feel better. Your heart lurched for him and for a second you wanted him to hold you, but you were to proud. It didnt help that he thought of him knocking boots with the make up artist in a closet kept running through your mind. With a single tear running down your cheek you started to walk out of the room, the sight of him making your feel sick. You had been so convinced up until now that he was the love of your life. That nothing could touch the two of you.
You weren’t even able to make it to the door when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you hard. You didnt even have a chance to stumble before he was hugging you tightly, his arms wrapping themselves around your neck and shoulders.
‘Please, please don’t. I would never… I love you so much, please don’t walk away.’
‘Then give me a reason to stay.’ you said, both of you crying silent tears. He’d sniffle and lean back just enough to take your cheeks between his hands. He looked at you longingly, thumbs softly stroking the backs of your cheeks. There was a slight hiccup in his chest before he kissed you softly. Despite how angry you were the same feeling of excitement and passion erupted through your entire body. It was so loud in your ear that you didnt even realize your arms had reached up to hold him to you.
‘Please believe me when I say Id never do anything like that.’
Walking out of the shower you’d walk right into his arms. You had looked so amazing that day and he could hardly wait to get you home and express just how beautiful you were to him. His lips would be on yours in an instant as he softly held your head to his. He’d tried to deepen the kiss but you weren’t budging. You couldn’t ever get yourself to hurt Yugyeom, no matter how stupid he could be at times. Even now as you were held tightly to his chest, the sight of the make up artist blowing on his lips and the noise he had made kept running through your mind. You finally pushed him off of you, feeling like you could taste her breath. ‘No. Not happening.’ You said walking away from him.
You’ve played this game before, let him kiss you a bit and then moving away. He knew you loved to be chased so with a goofy grin he’d walk quickly after you, bending so he could get a good grip of your waist before picking you up off the ground.
‘Yugyeom I said no!.’ You yelled prying his hands off of you before turning around and pushing his chest. His face would fall in confusion, now not quite sure how serious you were being. You’ve never pushed him away that hard before. He decided to try again thinking maybe third times a charm.
‘Get off of me!’ You screamed raising your elbow from his grip. ‘Do not touch me. Do not touch me, do not touch me! Damn get it through your thick skull!’ You yelled as you turned to face him.
‘Why are you being like this?’ He’d say, it now fully registering that you were pissed.
‘Oh I don’t know, maybe its the weather, maybe I’m on my period. Or maybe, and you’ll laugh at this one, maybe my boyfriend was sitting there letting some girl mock me while she basically pissed all over you!’ You yelled, not caring how loud your voice had gotten. You watched as his eyes closed and he sat on the bed.
‘What, you’re mad she proved to me how easy it is to get to you? How easy it would be for her to take you from me?’ You bit.
‘I would never leave you for her.’ he said, but it seemed to just make things worse.
‘Fine, maybe not her. But if she could get that close to get under my skin I can only imagine what someone else could do. You’re gone a lot and I thought you understood how i felt about you and how I feel about not being able to be with you all the time. Why shouldn’t I get mad when a girl who sees you more then I do starts blowing all over you. Actions speak louder than words and you the letting go of me the moment she batter her eyes at you was a message I received loud and clear.’
‘Y/n,’ He said looking back to you. You waited for him to say something but ended up scoffing as he took to long to find his words.
‘Y/n please, I didnt even realize-’
‘Of course you didnt, why would you.’
‘Don’t be like this.’ He’d say standing up and making his way over to you.
‘Like what? Worried that the one person I love more than anything else is allowing girls to throw themselves all over him? And then does it when I’m sitting right there? Do you know how much that hurts?’ You said, clearing your throat to try and hide the way it had faulted.
‘I messed up. I wasn’t even paying attention to her, I… Its sounds cliché…’ He started, but bit his lip and looked at the floor when you had risen an eyebrow at him. ‘Its just you looked so pretty today and I was embarrassed cause, well you do things to me…’
In that instant your hard face fell and your eyes widened.
‘Wait.’ You said, covering your mouth. ‘You were sitting there letting me scream at you because you were horny and trying to hide it?’ You said trying to hide your laugh.
‘Dont laugh at me, you always do that to me.’ He said giving you a small worried smile.
His body would relax when you reached out for him and hugged his was it tightly. ‘Im sorry I assumed the worse.’ You said into his shirt.
‘I didnt realize how bad it looked. Im sorry.’ He said hugging you back.
I just want to say four things to you: sorry, thank you, I miss you so much and i love you.
First, i want you to know that i’m not mad, and i will never be. And you don’t have to apologize if you hurt me. im sorry if sometimes i make you feel that i’m hurt, but it’s just my defense mechanism to get rid of pain. im sorry if i keep on insisting myself to you and my
love for you, i’m sorry for ruining everything, i’m sorry if i made things like this, i’m sorry if i disappointed you, i’m sorry for the troubles i’ve put you through, i’m sorry for making you feel bad, i’m sorry for being so stubborn. I still remember how we’ve met and that was one of the best things that happened in my life. And i can still remember the time when i told you that i like you, It’s really my first time that I ever told someone how I really feel. I don’t know how i did it but i never regretted my confession because that’s how we became close and glad that you didn’t ignore me.
It’s a crazy kind of friendship, the one I had with you. You made me so happy even with just a simple message from you, it makes my day. You just don’t know how I see you as a person, you just don’t know how you made me feel, you just don’t know how much you’re making me feel better with your presence. I want you to know that everything that I showed you was real, everything that I did for you came from the heart. You don’t know how much it made me happy to those late night convos, just talking about senseless things and giving me advice about my life, it was and is still one of my favorite things in this world. You will always be my favorite person.
Thank you for being patient with me during those times. We really have a different personality but thank you for sticking to me and for putting up with my mood swings and tantrums most of the time. Thank you for being there for me when everyone else ran away. Thank you for believing in me even if I sometimes doubt my own self. Thank you for making me feel things. Thank you for being patient enough to hear all my rants and dramas. Thank you for asking me about my day when I thought no one cared. Thank you for spending your time talking to me even if sometimes I’m so talkative. Thank you for the concern and for making me feel that i am important. Thank you for not giving up on me that time. Thank you for trusting me and for telling me little things about yourself and to your past, I was so happy when you opened up to me because I kinda felt like I was trusted for you to tell me such little things. Thank you for everything that you ever did for me. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for giving me beautiful memories.
I can’t even explain how I fell for you up to now, but I know that it’s gotta be something about you being just you, i fell for you just to you. It was beautiful, falling in love with you, until my emotions got too strong and started to feel different things. I started to feel jealous to the point that I’ll just shut my door and be cold to you and that I started to feel fear about our friendship and about my disposition in your life. I tried to control my feelings for you, but I never succeeded. I’m sorry for that but I never regret loving you. I tried so hard to bury everything, but I always find myself thinking if you had a good day or if you had a good sleep. I’m really sorry for giving you mix emotions.
I miss you so much. I miss being so crazy with you and telling you random stuff. You’re one of the best person that I have met in my life. I’m so lucky and blessed to have you. You are my favorite person and always be. I want you to know that I love you. I love you and I love you. Please come back as soon as you can. I will always welcome you with open arms. As ive said before, I won’t leave, I will stay till you found your way to me. Maybe you were right when you told me, we needed time. Clear your mind and your heart and I will do the same then come back to me if you think I’m still worthy in your life. I will wait for you. And if you didn’t find your way back to me then i’ll accept it, just be happy and i wish you well. Good luck on your journey.
full offense but a white girl crowdsurfing a sea of brown and black people and in season 6 incinerates all opposition to become leader of the Dothrakis and burning their holy site are among the grossest things I’ve ever seen. I know no one cares about PoC who just exist to bowing down to a white woman who wants to “unify” them and save them from their own "savagery" but it's racist and disgusting as fuck. fuck white feminism.
honestly…like ive always said dany has no regards for anyone’s culture. you literally burned down the dothraki holy site and their people bowed down to you? what kind white shit is that? but her fans love to call her a feminist. it’s disgusting. historically, white people has always barged into poc cultures and tried to spread their ideology because they feel the opposing culture traditions are wrong…and that’s literally what daenerys does. her fans makes no sense
Ever since you started dating Jay everything seemed to be going perfectly for you guys. You’re both super busy with work but you both found a way around it to make it work, you had a date every now and then, and always tried to make time for each other.
But little did you know his crew has been bugging him and being on top on his head about the whole relationship. They’ve seen him get really hurt in the past from relationships and most of them were girls using him for his money or to get the fame and it always crushed him down. So the guys always tried to keep an eye and make sure he’s found someone good and someone who isn’t using him. So when they knew you weren’t super wealthy and up there, they assumed you were using Jay even though you never did anything to prove them right.
Jay told them multiple times how you were different then any girl he was with in the past, but they still judged you without really getting to know you. There were times when they really got to Jay’s head and also misjudged you.
Jay had invited you to go with him to a party that one of his friends with throwing and you were thrilled, you got to see a different part of his life and his friends. You were always super hard so you never really got to experience anything like that because you were always paying for your sisters university.
You had went shopping a week before the party and you were very happy with what you came out with. After you got ready yo took a look at yourself and you were satisfied with what you’ve done to your makeup and hair.
Jay had texted you that he was down waiting for you so you texted him back telling his you will be down.
When you went down Jay was leaning against his car and he didn’t know you were there yet.
“Hey handsome” you said chuckling, and he raised his head when he heard your voice smiling at you. But then he realized what you were wearing and he thought you were stunning.
You were wearing a fitted jump suit that showed off your curves. You were happy that after all those workouts it was paying off.
“Hey beautiful” Jay said smiling at you, he got closer to you and kissed you.
“Ready to go” he asked and you nodded.
When you guys got to the party, Jay seemed to be a little distant but you didn’t want to overthink it, so you went to get something to drink and maybe talk with the people there and get to know them.
Jay kept his distant from you and just ignored you the whole party which kind of hurt since you guys together you didn’t think he would just ignore you to talk to his friends the whole party, and you had a feeling that he didn’t want you to come to the party.
When you guys left the party, the drive was super quiet but you really wanted to ask Jay if something was wrong.
“Jay is something wrong?” you asked him
“No” he said
“Really Jay, whats wrong” you asked again.
“Nothing is really wrong” he said and tried smiling at you but you could see through his smile.
“Jay you legit ignored me the whole party, did you not want me to go with you to the party, because if so you really didn’t have to invite me, its not like I would have been mad” you told him but he started shaking his head and telling you that it wasn’t anything like that.
“Is it because I was talking to your friends” you asked him, when he stayed quiet you knew it was about that.
Truth was Jay’s crew had told him how you were just playing him and how you will use this party to get closer to his friends, so when he seen you interacting with them, he started thinking about what his crew said and it got him thinking.
“Jay if you didn’t want me talking to any of your friends you should have told me, I mean their your friends thats a part of your life that you don’t have to share with me if you don’t want to. I was just talking to them because you were ignoring me and I didn’t know who to talk to other than them, but if that is what really made you upset than you don’t have to worry because I won’t talk to them again” you told him, Jay felt shitty for the way he acted and treated you when you didn’t mean any harm in anything you did.
“I’m sorry I acted that way” he said.
“It’s fine, just please talk to me next time okay” you told him smiling at him
“Okay” he said and returned your smile
“Thank you for tonight it was nice doing something different than my usual days and routine, good night babe” you told him and gave him a kiss when you guys got to your apartment.
“Good night” he said and retuned your kiss.
You had went to the AOMG office because you wanted to go and see Jay for a while since you were in the area. Jay had told you his day was going slow so you thought why not go and see him for a while.
When you got there, everyone was chilling in lounge area laughing and smiles all on their faces but when they noticed you there all the the laugher died down, and their smiles were quickly replaced with cold looks from Gray and Simon. Every time you hung around them they were like that towards you, you never knew why they didn’t like you but you also never asked Jay not wanting to make it awkward for him.
“Hi guys” you said nicely even though you could feel how awkward they were acting around you.
“Hi” they said even though you knew it was a cold dry one but you took it anyways.
“Is Jay around here” You asked them
“He’s in his office on a business call” Simon said.
“Oh okay, i’ll just wait for him here” you said and sat far from them since you felt like you might be a bother if you sat next to them. They went back to talking totally dismissing you and that you were there. You just sent Jay a text telling him your outside his office waiting for him but not to rush himself. You tried to talk to them about anything but you would get the shortest answers of Yes or No, so you thought to yourself that you should just shut up and just wait for Jay because they definitely don’t like you and don’t want you there sitting with them.
After a while Jay had come out and you guys ended up going to a close cafe and hung out there for a while and talked about your days, but then you had to leave after a while. When Jay had gotten back to the office Gray and Simon went to him saying they needed to talk to him about something very important.
They had told Jay that Gray had lost his diamond bracelet after you guys left, so Jay asked if they had tried looking for it but to no vail they couldn’t find it. Gray was going crazy because of how expensive it was. However they told Jay that they think you took it.
“Why would you guys think it was her” Jay said confused and shocked that they are accusing you.
“Because she was the only one who noticed it and she even complimented it” He said
“But that is not a reason to accuse her you guys”
“Jay I promise you it was her, she was even acting really strange when she was wanting for you and when you guys left” he said, but Jay didn’t know what to think. He didn’t believe it was true but he also believed his crew that he knew for years over you that you have been dating for months.
You were disappointed when Jay had canceled your guy’s date because you were really looking forward to seeing him and relaxing after a long week of work. You also noticed how Jay started texting you less and calling you less, he would only text you if you texted him first, he didn’t want to FaceTime. He also kept saying that he was too busy with work to meet up with you. At first you didn’t really think of it but then you noticed he was avoiding you so much. So you took it upon yourself to go to his studio and see why he was acting that way.
When you got there you were told Jay is in his office so you headed there, knocked on the door and waited for him to call you in.
When you stepped inside Jay was so surprised to see you there.
“Heyy” he said so awkwardly.
“Hi” you said back.
“What are you doing here” he asked you.
“I’m here because I feel like you have been so distant with me and also avoiding me” you said straight up not beating around the bush.
“Ive been busy” he said coldly.
“Jay you’ve always been busy, but you always found time to text and call me, and even meet up with me. Is there a reason why you’ve been ignoring me, did I do anything to get you mad” you asked.
“Since were being honest here, you did do something that pissed me off and got me mad, so why are you acting like you don’t know” he said and now you were really confused.
“What, Jay if I knew what I did wrong I wouldn’t be here asking you”
“Don’t act like that, don’t act all innocent, I thought you were different than that” he said raising his voice at you, and now you were really really confused.
“Jay I honestly don’t know what your talking about, just tell me” you said
“I know you stole Gray’s bracelet” he said
“Wait, WHAT” you said raising your voice.
“You heard me” Jay said
“Are you serious Jay” you said not believing what you were hearing. Then you heard a knock on the door and it was Gray, you didn’t look back because you didn’t want to look at them.
Gray had a very guilty and apologetic face on, and he pointed to his wrist, and there sat his bracelet that they thought you stole, turned out it fell between the couch and they didn’t think to look there, Jay was shocked and regretting everything now.
“Jay do you think that low of me” you said in a really hurt tone and Jay felt really guilty for everything, but Jay didn’t know what to say now.
You ended up leaving the building, you were angry, sad, and disappointed. Jay tried to contact you so many times but you ignored every phone call or text that he sent you. You just wanted to be alone so you decided you drown yourself in work.
You were coming out of work when you saw a too familiar car parked just outside of the building but you thought you were just overthinking it, but when Jay come out of it your thoughts were confirmed.
“Hi” Jay said not knowing what else to say.
“Hey” you said, you weren’t someone that shouts, screams or is rude even when your hurt.
“Umm,” Jay said not knowing what to say after he saw you, he had a whole think planned but forgot everything.
“What are you doing here Jay” You asked
“I came because I wanted to say how sorry I am, what ever I did and how I treated you was not right in any way, I am sorry for thinking like that of you when you did nothing but prove you really liked me for me. But I was stupid for believing something like that.” He said
“Jay you really hurt me, when you thought that low of me it really hurt me, I thought we were past that stage and you truly knew how I felt about you and that I am not with you for your money or fame, I like you because of your personality and how humble you are.” You said
“I do, I really do, and I really don’t know what gotten into me to believe what I was told, I should have just talked it out with you instead of doubting you and shutting you out. I just really want to say I am truly sorry, and I really want to make it up to you” he said
“I don’t know Jay” You said.
“Please give a second chance to make this up to, and I promise nothing like what will happen again” he said, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes and words.
“Okay, I will give you a second chance, but you better not hurt me like that again” you said trying to keep a straight face but broke in smiles when you saw how happy Jay was.
He got closer to you and held you in his embrace missing having you in his arms. He kissed the top of your head, you really missed him so much even when you were mad at him.
Jay took a look at you and saw how tired you looked and he wanted to do everything to help you relax and have a nice time.
“Did you eat anything” he asked and you shook your head, he tsk’ed shaking his head at you.
“Okay, well order some take out and have a movie night” he said which made you smile at the idea.
“I’ll choose the movie” you said quickly which made Jay chuckle at you.
Jay tried his best to do everything to make it up to you and how he hurt you.
I hope you guys enjoyed it, I know I have been gone for a while now, but I will really try and get my motivation back for you guys.
Ive said it before and I’ll say it again…I believe the REAL Liam Payne has a huge heart. He loves his fans and always wants to make them happy. He worries about those he never gets to meet. He puts a big smile on when he takes photos with them. Liam has always shown his true appreciation for us and I will NOT believe that suddenly all that has changed. I always see how we believe other certain members of the band don’t have full control of their social media so why can’t we apply the same to him? Why is his case DIFFERENT when it looks to be that hes about to go thru the SAME thing another member of the band is going thru?? Be fair even if hes not the one you stan. Liam always gets so underrated and easily judged. But Im going to be here for him until the day he is free from all this BS and the world can see him for the beautiful, talented loving human being he truly is.
possumpuppy said: to blondie’s fuck friend, what is a hairline?
donovan: your hairline is where the hair on your head meets your forehead and temples. your forehead is the part of your face above your eyebrows. hair, in this situation, means the fine threads made out of keratin growing from your scalp. let me know if ive lost you
soup-place said: I have questions for your characters are they good dudes or spicy ? Huh
ian: im – im a good dude
jules: i can do both
poptart42 said: What’s Ian’s favorite thing to do in the rare/nonexistent instances where he feels safe?
nerbull said: Hi, @ Donovan, what kind of weather do you like?
donovan: love those huge thunder storms where it feels like the world might be ending. but, more practically, 75 degrees and sunny
Anonymous said: Can we see ians peen again
ians peen is on vacation and is not taking work calls
Anonymous said: Ian, I have a question, do u like jolly ranchers?? If so what flavor?? I like red n blue
ian: im not a fan. they make my teeth feel like theyre going soft. i can say, though, that purple is the worst
fart-czar said: Hey Donovan, Do you have romantic feelings for Ian? Or do you just like him platonically, and occasionally bang for fun?
donovan: we fill each others needs pretty well. thats all i got
parq-stuff said: What are their favorite TV shows /cartoons?
ian watches bob ross & infomercials & cooking shows & like, boxing. or horse racing. mostly to just have some noise & something to watch without having to concentrate. donovan watches bob ross & cooking shows with ian & tries to get him to laugh. he also likes true crime shows. he starts series on netflix but never finishes them. jules watches all the good shit u kno it👍👍👌👌✌
strusork said: How many things has Ian eaten (or atrempted to eat) that he shouldn’t
hes eaten at least one dumpster hotdog. he ate a donut he found in the grass as a dare. once he was walking past an outdoor restaurant patio & there were two half-full glasses of riesling on a table & he drank them & nobody noticed. he ate some questionable carrots, also out of a dumpster, because he thought eating some vegetables would make him feel better, but they didnt
asdclaptrap said: yeah. what’s ian’s relationship with his parents? ive always been curious.
ian is not in communication with his parents and has not been for several years. this is by his design
Fandom: Teenage mutant ninja turtles Characters: Donnie, others mentioned Relationship: Donnie/reader Request: Hello! May I request a Tmnt fanfic with Donatello where the reader comes to the lair and finds the guys drunk, and when Donatello finds the reader, he’s very emotional and tells her that he loves her and gets super clingy. When he wakes up the next morning, maybe there’s some fluff between the reader and Donatello? Thanks! You could hear singing in the sewer as you walked to the lair. Frowning, you continued to walk but at a faster pace, quickly realising it was Mikeys voice. He seemed to be screeching unknown lyrics, his words slurred. This could only mean one thing. He had had alcohol. The thought of this sent you into a jog. The guys were hilarious when they were drunk. You had only seen it a few times before due to Splinter taking a lot of precautions. But the occasional bit of liquor slipped through, (sometimes because of you). Grinning you pushed the door to the lair open to reveal Mikey balancing on the back of a sofa with a half eaten baguette in his hand using it as a mic while screaming lyrics. You threw your head back with laughter as you saw Leo passed out in the corner with Raph getting dangerously close with a marker pen. You made a mental note to lock your door if you stayed tonight. But you noticed Donnie was missing, then you heard a loud clutter from the corridor where his lab was. Instantly, you darted to the lab and upon arriving, you found him on all fours, swaying slightly, as he looked under a table. “Whatcha looking for?” You asked, holding your hands behind your back. the second you spoke, Donnie jumped and bashed the back of his head against the underside of the table. You quickly ran to his side, trying to hold your smiled back as you pulled him out. He fell backwards slightly so he was in a sitting position opposite you. “Wh-what are you doing here?” He asked, rubbing the back of his head. His words, while better than Mikeys, were still slurred. “I have the night off, remember? So I thought Id come bother you.” You giggled, playfully punching his arm. But Donnie frowned, looking like you had insulted him. “You don’t bother me!” He slurred as he attempted to get up but wobbled. You quickly caught him and wrapped his arm around your neck. “really?” You asked, looking up at him as you tried to maneuver him out the lab. Donnie had a habit of trying to make things when he was drunk. And this had resulted in a number of small explosions, cuts, bruises and burns. You didn’t want him to harm himself so you decided to escort him to his room before he hurt himself or Raph got to him. “Yes, you are without a doubt, the most brilliant-ist thing in my life.” Donnie said. You smiled up at him. He was so sweet to you when he was drunk. “Donnie, I don’t think brillinatist is a word.” You chuckled, shaking your head as the two of you swayed to the side slightly but you got yourself back on track. “SEE!” Donnie almost yelled, pointing his free hand at you and taking you by surprise. “you’re so smart! So smart and pretty. Pretty pretty pretty.” He mumbled the last three words to himself as you couldn’t stop the small blush which he failed to notice. “Where are we?” He asked, stopping suddenly. The fright made you trip over your feet and you tumbled to the ground with a thud. Before you could look up, you heard Donnie yell out “y/n” and then he fell to the right of you. You couldn’t stop your laughter as he scurried over to you. “Are you okay? Did you break anything? Should we go to the hospital?” He fumbled over you, barley able to hold himself up. “No, no, im fine, Donnie. I promise.” You giggled, batting his hands away slightly as they tried to touch yur arm to make sure you were fine. “Ar-are you sure?” he asked as you managed to wriggle away from him and to your feet. “Im sure.” You smiled, helping him up to his feet. But this time, instead of his hand going around your shoulder, you felt him slip it round your waist. There was a tension hung in the air as he held his breath, waiting for you to push him away. But you didn’t. You moved your hand around him to settle on the back of his hard shell in an attempt to help him with balance and the two of you continued on your little journey. despite nearly falling and getting crushed by Donnie a couple of times, you managed to make it to his room with no more accident. Donnie seemed deep in thought the whole way but that didn’t stop him from asking if you were okay again and again, not that you minded. “Here we are.” You said, using your free hand to push open his bedroom door. But as you tried to pull him inside, he dug his feet into the ground. “Whats wrong?” You asked, your eyes glancing around what you could see of the room in case there was a danger Donnie had noticed. “I don’t want to.” Donnie hiccupped, trying to take a step back but you managed to stop him. You moved from his side and took both his hands in yours, trying to drag him inside. “Why not?” you asked in a strained voice as you tried and failed ot pull him in. “Because then you’ll leave.” Donnie mumbled, slouching slightly as you stopped pulling him. You stared at him, a little dazed at what he said. He looked genuinely upset, as if he could cry. “Donnie-“ You started but you could finish your sentence as Donnie wrapped his arms around you in a crushing hug. “Don’t leave me? Please, I love you. Don’t leave.” He begged as he started to sob onto your shoulder. If you were shocked before, you were utterly baffled now. Could he really love you like you had loved him all this time? You had to mentally slap yourself as you remembered he was drunk. You had said your fair share of stupid things when you were drunk too but you knew he wouldn’t let you leave. “Its fine, I promise. I’ll stay with you tonight.” You pulled back, smiling at him. His eyes went wide with disbelief as a smile dawned his face. He pulled back and grabbed your hand and pulled you inside his room and towards his bed. before you could even protest, you were thrown in the bed and covers flung over you. Blinking slightly, you sat up in Donnie bed to see him lying down on a small couch he had at the other side of his room. “Donnie, I cant steal your bed. You sleep here and I’ll sleep on the couch.” You said as you attempted to get out his bed. “No, you get the bed because you’re a princess.” Donnie mumbled as he buried his head into his pillow. You rolled your eyes, knowing there was no arguing with him. So you lay down in his massive bed, breathing in his scent which relaxed you. Remembering Raph earlier, you quickly darted to the door and locked it to be on the safe side. As you tiptoed back to the bed, you noticed a blanket on the back of the sofa. You moved over to Donnie and pulled it down so it was covering him to keep him warm and you took his glasses off, placing them on a small table by the sofa. But he was already asleep. As you moved away, you heard him mumble “My princess” before letting out a soft snore. turning back to him, you watched him sleep for a moment. He looked so peaceful and sweet. Then you clambered back into his bed, allowing yourself to fall into a sweet dream. ———————-time skip ————————- When you woke, you heard a small groan from the other side of the room. You were still half asleep so it took you a moment to realise what had happened last night. Sitting up in the bed, you saw Donnie rolling onto his side, his head in his hands. “Bad hangover?” You called out in a sleepy voice. Donnie jumped at your voice, his eyes landing on you in his bed. But his eyes softened as they fell on your sleepy appearance. “[y/n]?” He asked, as if trying to make sure you were really there. “Yup.” You giggled as you pushed the covers back and got out of the bed. You then grabbed his duvet and pulled it over to him, throwing it over him. “What happened last night?” he asked, but you heard him chuckle as he sat up, the duvet falling away from his upper body. You giggled, taking a seat at his feet. “Im not 100% sure what happened before I got here. But when I came, Mikey was singing, Leo had passed out and Raph had a very menacing look with a marker.” You giggled at the memory. When you mentioned Raph, Donnies hand jumped up to his face, feeling to see if he could tell if he had marker on his face. “Its okay. I locked the door.” You nodded to the door as you spoke, seeing him visibly relax. “Anyway, I came to find you and you were in some state in the lab. So I brought you back here. You took some persuading. You wouldn’t even come in the room unless I stayed. Sorry for stealing your bed but you were having none of it.” You giggled, avoiding telling him what he had said last night. Donnie buried his head in his hands as you spoke, his cheek glowing with embarrassment. “Oh, god. Im sorry.” He mumbled, looking at you through is fingers. “Its okay. It was quite amusing actually.” You smiled at him, showing him it was okay. “Did…. Did I say anything I should regret?” Donnie asked, lowering his hands down. You had a slight suspicious he remembered saying he loved you but you weren’t sure. You might as well tell him though. Knowing your luck, Raph or Mikey might had over heard as he wasn’t quiet. “Not too much. You called me pretty at one point and you said you loved me at another.” You chuckled, trying to play it off as a joke. “[y/n], im sorry-“ Donnie trailed off as he shook his head slightly. “Don’t be. Ive said my fair share of stupid things when ive been drunk. I once told a bar of chocolate I was going to marry it.” You giggled, remembering the memory very vividly. “[y/n]? I wasn’t… lying.” Donnie suddenly said. You froze, your eyes widening slightly. “What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head to the side as Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes. “I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you.” He clarified. “I-ive always loved you but never had the guts to say it. But I don want the only time im ever able to tell you how I truly feel to be when im drunk.” As Donnie, spoke you could hear him regretting it. He glanced at you only for a second before trying to move from under the covers. “Im sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Donnie mumbled, scorning himself. You managed to pull yourself from your disbelief and moved in front of him before he could stand up. Ducking down, you pressed a quick but soft kiss to his lips. Donnie froze at the action, his whole body ridged. but before you could pull away, his hands reached out and grabbed your waist, pulling you forward. You fell slightly but he managed to catch you and pulled you onto his lap. You slowly pulled away from the kiss to look at him. “I love you too.” You mumbled, smiling slightly as you spoke the words you never dreamed you would say to him. Donnie let out a breath before smiling at you as you both moved in for another kiss. But after a moment, you felt Donnie wince. “What wrong?” You asked as you pulled back, concern written all over your face. “No, its nothing. Just a headache.” Donnie said as he pulled you closer. You thought it was sweet he was trying to work through the pain of a hangover just to stay like this with you. “Tell you what, I’ll go get you some tablets and water, then we can continue.” You said as you got off his lap, much to his disappointment. But he nodded, not wanting his pain to get any worse. As you unlocked the door and opened it, something big fell in the room. You jumped back but calmed when you saw it was Raph. He must have passed out outside the door last night. He let out a groan as he slowly started to wake. “Im so glad a locked the door.” You mumbled as you saw the marker in his hand. “Me too.” Donnie chuckled.