ivans a duck

twilishark  asked:


Who holds…

The umbrella, when it rains - Ivan, though he has a bad habit of trying to give Toris a little too much personal space, and so the umbrella sometimes drips on him. 
The popcorn at the cinema - They hold it on the arm rest between them, and its always salt. But they don’t go to the cinema often, and Toris holds the snacks as he usually sits in Ivan’s lap on the sofa when they watch movies at home. 
The baby, when it cries - Ivan. He’s really good at lullabies, and the crying distresses Toris so he has a bad habit of stressing the baby out more
The ice cream cone, when they share - Toris, as Ivan sometimes grips it a little too hard and shatters the cone. Also Toris likes ice cream more than Ivan 
The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie - Ivan, otherwise Toris will keep changing the volume and brightness
The basket, when they go shopping - Ivan. Toris holds the list, and bobs about, whilst Ivan reminds him of stuff he forgot.
The door, on dates - They’re pretty equal, but Ivan knows it gets on Toris’s nerves if he treats him like he’s more delicate than him (which he did a lot at the start of the relationship)
The other’s hand, most often - Ivan used to let Toris initiate it but Toris likes to hold hands anyway, so they hold hands a lot. Otherwise their little fingers are intertwined.
Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day - Ivan, and he started crying happy tears, which started Toris off and they ended up a tearful giggling mess at the altar. 
The camera, when they take pictures together - Toris has a steadier hand, so Ivan often ducks down with his chin on Toris’s shoulder. Ivan has a habit of kissing Toris’s cheeks in photos and it makes Toris really happy \OwO/

Real-time fandub highlights:
  • RIP Ryan
  • Lucia is Amethyst
  • #AntHunt
  • Dipper: "I can smell my brain."
  • Waluigia
  • Dipper: "I don't want my breakfast to kill me."
  • Soos: "Hey did you know that Chalupas and Tacos are the same food? It's a conspiracy."
  • Dipper: "Stop drinking coffee, switch to de-caf."
  • Sheriff Blubs: "I'm already hot chocolate. get it? cuz I'm hot and attractive? That has nothing to do with race."
  • Mabel: "Are you sure the footprints didn't do it?"
  • Dipper: "Yeah, it was the invisible wizard, with an axe!"
  • Soos: "You can't chop a chalupa with an axe."
  • Dipper: "This is just like the Spongebob movie"
  • Mabel: "hey, are you a corner?"
  • Manly Dan: "the clock insulted my fandom."
  • Dipper: "I can understand that."
  • Durland: "HE'S A GOBLIN IN LOVE!"
  • Toby: "Your little legs must be tired-no wait not yet."
  • Blubs: "Can we just kill him because Goblin lives don't mater."
  • Blubs: "This new season of Breaking Bad is really weird."
  • Stan: "Some may say it's wrong for a man to love a meme about himself."
  • Random breaking out into songs from "Aladdin-The Return of Jafar."
  • The *horrific* Karaoke of "All Star" during the break.
  • Oscar: "If that karaoke was a politician, it would be Trump."
  • "That was far too coherent to be Trump"
  • The Ukulele cover of Peanut Butter Jelly in tribute to Dogan.
  • The recitation of the History of Japan.
  • "Lapis, Peridot, Jasper, Steven, Pearl, Amethyst, Bismuth, and Garnet all fused to make Dogan."
  • "Peridot is actually Larry King"
  • "The Cameo of Steven's brother."
  • "The Cameo of an ant."
  • "Bismuth and Greg got together and Bismuth revealed herself to be Stan."
  • Soos: "Is this a mushroom? No that's a doorknob."
  • Wax Sherlock Homes: "I would say the dying scene from 'Blaze Runner' but I forget it."
  • Wax Sherlock Holmes: "laughy laughy laugh and die"
  • Sheriff Blubs: "Let's all go get some HOT CHOOOOCLOLATE"
  • Dipper: "We used coffee to kill a man."
  • Wax Larry King Head: "Hey, you should kill me."
  • Cash Wheel Announcer: "Welcome to cash wheel: the show with a wheel with cash in it."
  • Wallet Dad: "ha ha don't puke all over the ground."
  • Announcer: "I sure hope your questions are answered cuz were back."
  • Stan: "yada yada yada, I have a big nose."
  • "If a girl online says she's Asian is she Asian?"
  • "What if she's Russian?"
  • "Asians are like the Weeping Angels."
  • "The Weeping Asians."
  • Mabel: "Ok, well the real #1 is YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!"
  • Stan: "Time to use my old man powers: AAAAHHHH BUILD A WALL!!!!11 BUILD A WALL!!!!11"
  • "Um, sir we have Donald Trump on the premises"
  • "ah, uh, um, PUT HIM ON TV!!"
  • Stan: "I'm a cartoon stereotype"
  • "I shouldn't have gone back"
  • Dipper: "Hey, here's my girlfriend, she's Asian and Russian!"
  • Guy (after seeing his worst nightmare): "TRUMP IS PRESIDENT, TRUMP IS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS PRESIDENT!"
  • Mabel *helping someone with the vending machine*"hey, there's a portal behind there, did you know that?"
  • "We'll be right back to Real-Time Fandub on Dogan TV."
  • Ant Hunt Clue #1: "vlpjjanps onoeodyoncexxl"
  • Mabel: "Is a Capricorn a unicorn in a cap or is it a unicorn who drank a Caprisun?"
  • Dipper: "Mabel you have crazy ADHD."
  • Mabel: "Not a wo-manattee?"
  • Mabel: "My whiskers aren't nearly that big."
  • Dipper: "Thank you for randomly handing me a bottle."
  • Mabel: "'McGuckett labs?' Is that a band name?"
  • Dipper: "He has a McGuckett face."
  • Lil Big Dawg: "Oh, hey, I'm here and I'm eatn' my pants."
  • Lil Big Dawg: "Gotta go fast gotta go fast"
  • Soos: "Looks like Sonic's my overlord"
  • Dipper: McGuckett, come here boy!"
  • McGuckett: "Don't tell me not to vote for Trump!"
  • why did that page fall so slowly
  • Mabel: "If you suck all the water out of a watermelon does that make it a regular melon?"
  • Dipper: "THAT'S A NEWSPAPER!"
  • Dipper: "He did vanishified! Or did he?????"
  • Dipper: "This is like a Zelda Puzzle."
  • Soos: "Man that was a lot easier than a water temple."
  • Blind Ivan: "What is it you have seen?"
  • Lazy Susan: "i saw ghost busters the remake and it was ok i guess"
  • "Mabel was asking SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!111"
  • Dipper: "OH WAIT I'M DIPPER!"
  • Lazy Susan: "I feel like a feeling."
  • Dipper: "Your hat's gonna get there before us!"
  • Dipper: "To the Bat Cave!"
  • Mabel: "What's the difference between pie and cake????"
  • Robbie: "My Chemical Romance felt like My Little Pony to me."
  • "What are you Scallywags doing here?"
  • Blind Ivan: "There's a duck and there's an eye but not any more! hahaha!"
  • Mabel: "If evolution is real-"
  • Dipper: "Mabel! Don't erase our minds, and, yep that's my plea, yep that good!"
  • Mabel: "If evolution is real why can't Aquaman tale to all animals? It doesn't make sense???"
  • Soos: "Mabel is a bottle if maple syrup."
  • Mabel: "Polly Pockets are just tiny barbies."
  • Toot-Toot-Mc-Bumbersnazzle: "I love Polly Pockets!"
  • Mabel: "It's okay, we can all go play Pokemon Go."
  • *Young Fiddleford's monologue*
  • Young Fiddelford: "Scare Crow Brother."
  • Mabel: "Adventure Time got weird! That was the Ice King, right?"
  • Stan: "Whoop! There goes a Rick and Morty cameo!"
  • Stn: "Time to make this a running joke for the next few episodes."
  • dudududuududududuududuududuuduududuedededededeedlellelelldldldldajdededeldeasdaddaedededeaarrfatffeddetaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
  • Steven Universe Real-Time Fandub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
Mythology Oh BOY

Ivan ducked as another stick was thrown at him, his eyes squinting. He didn’t know why the woman didn’t seem to like him, he just wanted to be friends.

“Stop following me, creature! You need to stay at your home!” Ivan hadn’t understood what she’d said, he had never learned the human language, but she didn’t sound happy. He brushed his hair from his eyes, frowning at it. It was rather dirty, halfway down his back.
He’d braid it later.
He moved a little slower, maybe staying behind a bit would ease her nerves.