*The audience settles back into their seats and the lights dim in the
auditorium, starting back up over the court*
*Standing at attention to address the
audience* Court will rise.
*Enters once more and settles behind his
Court is in session *He moves back into
his position near the bench, this allows time for the audience to resume
Right Mr. Farquar, where were we?
In the Drawing Room. The Maid had just been shot
Oh yes, I remember. Well what happened then?
Well m’lud, we return to the drawing room an hour later. The body has been
removed, and Inspector Topiary and Sergeant Manners are just beginning their
*The lights dim on the courtroom and start coming up on the main stage,
the sheer curtain pulls back once more to open upon the Drawing room, and hour
after the murder occurred, with Sir Hector speaking with the Inspector, the
Sergeant, Davinia, and Petunia. Topiary asks if Sir Hector knows of any reason
the maid may have been shot. Sir Hector mentions that she was not a very good
maid but that’s hardly a reason to shoot anyone, he gets chastised by Lady
Davinia, not only for his poor taste in statements bot for his foolhardy
scheme. The inspector agrees with her that it was a ridiculous plot. Hector
admits that, but in hindsight he needn’t have worried the necklace was a fake.
The inspector asks how he knows this, Petunia pipes up about the Baroness
inspecting it and announcing they were not real emeralds. Topiary aska where
the guests were when the maid was shot, Davinia tells him honestly that they
were all on their way to their rooms to wait for the inspector. The sergeant
asks who found the body. Hector tells him how Glossop the butler was there when
the poor girl was shot. The inspector decides to start with the butler and asks
the Sergeant to see everyone present to their rooms until he needs them.
The Sergeant escorts the ladies while the Inspector
asks Sir Hector to send Glossop in to him. While the butler arrives Inspector
Topiary takes out his magnifying glass and scrutinizes the area where the maid
fell as well as the doors and the large French Windows. Glossop enters and the
Inspector begins by asking him how long he’s worked for the Croquet’s, and
we’re given the same drawn out 2 minute answer that Twitter was given back in
act one. The Inspector had to interrupt him to spare us a second time, he asks
if Glossop enjoys the position, he answers in the affirmative, Topiary
continues about the health of the relationship of the Croquet’s, Glossop
answers vaguely. The Inspector continues on with what had occurred in that room
that evening. Glossop explains how they learned the necklace was fake and how Sir
Hector called for the Inspector. The guests were asked to wait for the
Inspector in their rooms, Sir Hector asked himself, Glossop, and Blossom the
maid to tidy up the drawing room for interrogations. Then there was a sudden
shot and Blossom fell dead. He had no answer for the Inspector as to why
someone would shoot the poor girl. The Inspector takes note and asks Glossop to
ask Mr. Éclair to come down. Glossop exits and in his absence Topiary asks
Sergeant Manners to conduct the interview so that he can watch the reactions*
*He enters almost hesitantly and stays
near the door* Inspector? Sergeant? You wanted to see me? [pg 19]
Yes sir, we did. Would you like to sit down?
Now Mr. Éclair, perhaps you would like to recount the events of this afternoon?
It’s all very simple. I arrived just before lunch, following an invitation from
Sir Hector to spend the weekend, playing tennis. On my arrival I was met, shown
the gardens, then appeared in here for pre-lunch drinks. Then Sir Hector for
some reason or another produced his wife’s emerald necklace. The Baroness
screamed “Fake! Fake!” We were ushered to our rooms, and the maid was shot
Very clear, Mr. Éclair
Well if you can make sense of it, you’re welcome to it
So where were you when the maid was shot?
…Er…I was in the library with Lady Davinia
Not in your room?
On my way there Inspector. I needed something to read. As you know I work in
the theatre. I am always on the lookout for new ideas
Was there anybody else in the library?
No we were quite alone
Thank you Mr. Éclair. That will be all for now
Can I go?
You mustn’t leave the house I’m afraid
Oh how exasperating. It will be very bad for my play if it gets out that I’ve
been involved with murder and robbery
Well just remember that Blossom is dead. She can never leave. Perhaps you’d ask
Mr. Fortesque to come in please *He almost pouts but exits to go and fetch
I don’t think much of him Inspector
Neither do I
Inspector you wanted to see me?
Yes indeed I did. Now I know why you were down here this weekend, and what
happened this afternoon, but perhaps you could confirm for me where you were
when the maid was shot.
Oh that’s easy. I was in the library with Baroness Gorianova
Really? Was anybody else there?
No just myself and the Baroness. I was looking at the map of Africa. I’m
planning a new expedition to seek out the lost tribe of the Umbongo. I
specialize in lost tribes you know
Really sir. What do you do when you’ve found them?
Well not much actually. But I love travel and it lets you get to know a country
well. I love Africa
Quite sir. That’ll be all. Please send in Mr. Barrington-Smythe
OF course, Inspector *He makes a speedy
Another one in the library alone eh? Curiouser and curiouser.
Tell me Sergeant. If Mr. Fortesque spends so much time in Africa how is it that
he has such a pale complexion?
*Enters, looking a bit tense*
Inspector, please be quick, I would like to return to London this evening, I
have urgent business to attend to. I’m due to play in a tennis tournament
You’re in rather a rush aren’t you sir? After all this is a murder
investigation, and you were due to stay here the weekend
Well I’m afraid I’ve got my dates mixed up
I’m sorry Mr. Barrington-Smythe but you will have to remain here until our
investigations are completed
Look it’s obvious that I couldn’t have killed the maid. I was in the library
with Petunia when the fatal shot was fired
Really sir, I thought you might be. Were you alone by any chance?
Yes we were. Now if you’ll excuse me I must pack
I’m sorry sir, you can’t leave, not just yet. What line of business are you in
This and that you know, I dabble
Right, thank you sir, please wait in your room
Oh really *He’s a bit cold and he walks
Right Sergeant. This is what I want you to do. Go and interview the ladies, Baroness
Svetlana, Trellis Trelawney, and Lettis Croquet. Find out where they were this
afternoon. I’m going to make my own investigations about the three gentlemen
we’ve just interviewed. I’m sure they have something to hide
Very well sir *He pulls out his own
notepad and heads off to stage right, the lights dimming slowly after him*