itsy bitsy teenie weenie

How Would You Feel? -Ed Sheeran

REQUEST: Anon: Hon, I’m all out of Fred Weasley fanfic, not sure if you write them but if you do one based on Ed Sheeran’s How Would You Feel? Maybe reader is spending the summer at the Burrow with the Weasleys?

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader

WARNINGS: Little, tiny, itsy bitsy, teeny weeny bit of angst, maybe, sorta hinted at smut? Idk. Tell me if I missed anything.

A/N: This is such a great request! I’ve never done a lyric based fanfic so I hope this is at least kinda close to what you were asking for. I, personally, am super proud of this one. I hope it’s not too long. Thanks for reading! <3 (oh and I’m on mobile so it won’t italicize so sorry about that)

A/N2: Characters and pretty much everything else do not belong to me. Please inform me of any typos or just ways I can improve. Also, plEASE REQUEST THINGS I LOVE REQUESTS AND WILL ACCEPT ANY AND ALL OF THEM.


The Burrow was bustling with redheads and company as the weather outside remained dreary. The Weasleys always had company. No matter the size of their home nor paycheck there was always room for one more.

You were currently sinking into the seemingly never-ending armchair by the fireside, enthralled in the flames and your own thoughts. The twins were busying themselves with different plans and formulas across the room, and the rest of the Weasleys were wandering in and out of each room. You didn’t truly know anybody very well in the Burrow, but when Mrs. Weasley caught wind of a student without a home for the summer, well, she practically packed your things for you.

“Hey,” One of the twins snuck up behind you, you couldn’t quite tell them apart yet but you thought it was Fred, smiling widely at how surprised you seemed to be that someone would speak to you.

“You are the one girl
And you know that it’s true
I’m feeling younger
Every time that I’m alone with you”

You were flustered, you’d heard of the infamous Weasley twins but had never thought they would bother talking to you. Your fear must’ve shown because, “don’t worry, I don’t bite,” Fred paused, “most of the time.” He winked and your lips formed a small smile.

“Though, he does tend to pry,” George called from across the room. You almost thought you saw Fred blush from the corner of your eye.

“And tease,” Ginny said as she walked in and out as quickly as she came.

“And scare the living hell out of you,” Ron did the same.

“Really? My own family, how could you?” Fred paused, holding his heart dramatically, “how could you forget prank?” You laughed, and continued to do so with Fred and George until you were called for dinner.

Though Molly Weasley was possibly the best hostess one could have, you’d been worried how you’d get on with the others. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

You spent the majority of the next few weeks with Fred and George, though mostly Fred. You hadn’t had this much fun since you could remember. You could’ve mutually said you’d become best friends in these few weeks.

“We were sitting in a parked car
Stealing kisses in the front yard
We got questions we should not ask”

One night at the dinner table Mrs. Weasley began commenting on the amount of time the two of you had been. Your face heated up as Ron began hinting that more was happening than all you’d been telling them. You glanced up at Fred and, shockingly, he seemed just as embarrassed as you.

You had to admit to yourself, if no one else, you did have more feelings for the tall joker than you let on.

After cleaning up dinner, Ron’s conversation continued with some of his siblings, but in more detail, for lack of a better word.

“Sorry,” Fred mouthed to you, you’d never seen him so embarrassed. You laughed and shrugged in response. The two continued listening, amused,though also because you thought they might assume things if they noticed you two leaving together.

All eyes were now on Ron and it was your chance to leave. Fred gestured to the kitchen door and you followed him out.

“Sorry about Ron, this is the only time he’s been around an non-ginger girl, other than Granger, since… Well, I don’t think he’s really been around a lot of girls. He’s just trying to impress you,” he chuckled as he began making the two of you hot cocoa.

“Impress me? Why the hell would he want to do that?” You asked, genuinely surprised.

“Well why the hell not? You’re practically perfect,” he said it so casually you almost spat out your hot chocolate.

“In the summer, as the lilacs bloom
Love flows deeper than the river
Every moment that I spend with you
We were sat upon our best friend’s roof
I had both of my arms round you
Watching the sunrise replace the moon”

“Hey, Y/N, I have something I wanna show you tonight, if you’re up for it,” Fred asked you as you walked into the kitchen for breakfast. Ron had begun laughing, what brains he had left out, at this statement (you’d become quite annoyed with his ongoing theories).

“What is it?” You asked cautiously, ignoring the giggling Ron.

“Well you’ll have to find out, won’t you,” he smirked. Still cautious, you agreed and waited anxiously until the set time.

You were waiting by the front door when Fred came running down the stairs, grabbed your hand, and continued on. His backpack grasping onto his shoulder, he dragged you to the broom shed, you both picking a considerably large amount of daisies along the way, and took both of your brooms. Through the fooling around and poking fun of each other, somehow, you’d made it up onto the roof of the Burrow.

“Well, this is our stop,” he said, looking up.

You hadn’t noticed how beautiful the stars were until now. Each star sparkled with a different light from the others. It was marvelous. When you looked back over at Fred he’d been staring at you but quickly looked away. You must’ve gotten something in your hair on the way here, you thought.

Fred began unpacking his bag. Four jumpers, sweets, a blanket, a sleeping bag, sweets, a thermos (presumably hot cocoa), water, more sweets, and a camera. He was always prepared. You laughed at the amount of sweets he’d brought, he looked at you like he was unaware one wouldn’t bring three bags of sweets on a trip to their rooftop.

The two of you sat down on the cold roof and starred up at the stars in peaceful silence. You looked over at him and he seemed just as entranced as you were, the wonder in his face made him even more handsome and fascinating than before.

When you both started talking it didn’t seem like you could stop. He asked the questions he’d been dying to ask for the month and a bit you’d been there. You found he was a man of more depth than he let on. His eyes would light up when talked about things he was particularly passionate about and would scowl when he heard of someone being rude to you, saying they’d “regret it later.” You made a daisy chain for each of your heads, he wasn’t very enthusiastic about it but he wore it anyways, and you both took more pictures than you could count. It was, quite possibly, the best night of your life up to this point.

After several hours of talking and laughing, you’d moved back to mostly to watching the sky, exchanging words and thoughts every once in a while, whilst each wearing three jumpers and sharing both the sleeping bag and blanket. You were having a competition of who could find the most constellations and shooting stars for the last bit of cocoa, you were winning.

“Oh I see one! Another point for me!” You bragged and he begrudgingly scraped another tally under your initial on the roof with a rock you’d found under your back.

“I don’t even think you’re seeing them anymore, you just want to win!” He accused you playfully.

“You’re just mad because I’m up by ten points.”

“Of course I’m mad; I’m down by ten points!”

“It’s not my fault I took astrology!” He rolled his eyes and looked back up. You both fell asleep soon after you won the cocoa.

You were startled awake by an excited Fred, who laughed at your scared reaction. You simply rolled your eyes at him.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?“ you stated, he just rolled his and pointed out at the sky impatiently.

You were in awe. It was just as beautiful as the night before but in a completely different way. The sun was climbing up over the treetops, shedding an orange light on anything in it’s path. You knew Fred was looking at you but you just smiled and continued watching; this was too wonderful to miss.

"How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?
It’s just something that I want to do
I’ll be taking my time, spending my life
Falling deeper in love with you
So tell me that you love me too”

Ron was on a roll again; telling his many “stories” about the two of you to his siblings. You had to step out to the front yard to cool down from all the blushing.

You stepped further out into the night, staring up at the stars. You were thinking about, to be completely honest, Fred. Possible love was always a difficult subject to, even temporarily, erase from ones mind. For Merlin’s sake, you’d only known him for two months, though you were leaving for hogwarts soon so this may have been your best chance. You were mental, but he often seemed to be equally so.

“There you are, Y/N, ‘was wondering where you’d gone,” Fred stated walking towards you from behind, making you jump. “Sorry about Ron, by the way, he can be a complete g–”

As he reached you, you turned, with a great jolt of courage and spontaneity, placing your hands on his neck, you brought his lips down onto yours.
You were genuinely shocked when he kissed back. He moved his hands to your waist and held you close, deepening the kiss. You broke the kiss for air, earning a groan from Fred. All you could do was laugh, and the best part was; he laughed with you. You’d done it. Still holding each other, he placed a small kiss on your nose, you giggled. He kissed you again.

“How would you feel, if I told you I loved you?” He asked between kisses as he tried holding you impossibly closer.


“Well then; I love you,” he smiled his adorably childish smile as you kissed just bellow his lips.

“Well, I love you too.”


A/N: pretty sure this is the fastest I’ve ever written a decent fanfic so yippee! Thanks to all you babes who read this! :>

You know I’d really like to think the stereotype that ace people don’t understand sexual humor isn’t true, but last night a group of other ace’s and I were playing cards against humanity and it took us 15 minutes to figure out that the card that says “ itsy bitsy teeny weenie” wasn’t referring to small hot dogs or a yellow polka dot bikini so….


@hella-free-space​ some bunnies 4 u, since I hear you are lacking them in your life. (Mostly Goober, feat. Duma, Toothbrush, Big Moosh, Moosh Minor, Hob Gadling, and Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, among others :P)

Plus bonus, sO MANY BABIES

I’m probably gonna be selling some babies around the end of the summer/beginning of fall, wink wink nudge nudge, if anyone is interested ;)

Send one of the following symbols and one of my OC’s names and I’ll doodle:
🏄 OC in what they would wear to the beach/pool 

Especially with it being summertime, I couldn’t pass this up. Also they made the biggest itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka-dot bikini for Kimaris. He’s kinda paranoid about taking off his armor, even in summer heat.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CROTCH SHOT AND THE MESSY ROOM (and the itsy bitsy teenie weenie pole shorts because this is a Rare Move where you actually don’t have to be almost starkers, but hell, I was already dressed for practise). But like, this move is 100% yondu and if you put him near a pole he is guaranteed to do it. Maybe without the ‘prayer’ bit at the end. Just all crotch, all the time.

My entry for #BottomHannibalDay


Anyway, here is a little slice of life, more PWP with an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bit of story around it, featuring yours only, a boring exhibition visit, some teasing and use of something that’s… oh well.^^


He’s watching me watching him, tying the paisley tie with slow, deliberate movements, fingers gliding. He does it on purpose of course, this show in front of our bedroom mirror, knowing I find it riveting.

It’s not the cloth of course, nor even the act of hiding what’s underneath.

It’s the deliberate teasing of my impulse to strangle the living daylights out of him. Often.

He knows about my fantasies by now, knows how I … dreamed about killing him once upon a time.

With my hands.


Read the whole story here

(Using the official gif because it’s perfect!)

Originally posted by feyestwords



Thank you for this!

Sean Connery’s itsy bitsy teenie weenie red mankini: ZARDOZ review

This film takes place in the distant future and Sean Connery plays Zed, a big hairy warrior in a red mankini (and even a wedding dress at some point) who worships a godlike statue’s head called Zardoz. It can talk, unlike other gods, and it promises that all who worship it will be allowed to come to Vortex and become immortal. Vortex is a holy place with naked ladies, so naturally everybody starts to worship the damn thing. But Zed thinks that Zardoz is a phony, so he sneaks into the God’s mouth to find out more about all the naked ladies. Pretty silly, really. Still, I found this film extremely entertaining. It’s not as preachy as many other “thinking-man’s science fiction films” and it has bizarre dance numbers, magic marker mustaches, mankinis and immortal dialogue like: 

“The gun is good! Penis is evil! The Penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of men. But the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of the filth. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.”

Amazing. All movies should have dialogue like that. Anyway, that is the plot. And along the way, Sean Connery falls in love with the sexy Charlotte Rampling, shows off his hairy chest, sleeps with lots of hot chicks and shoots people with his futuristic gun – I’m not exactly sure why, but it’s very macho and he probably has a good reason. Zardoz (pronounced “Shardosh”) is directed by John Boorman (Deliverance), and because this is a sci-fi movie with perhaps the coolest man who ever lived, I was hoping for “Bond in Space” with action and spaceships? But nooo. It’s a philosophical type of film with an apocalyptic warning that the future will become a dark place (completely devoid of underwear) if people don’t change. Great film, a one-of-a-kind treat for sci-fi and Sean Connery fans.

Release year: 1974
Country: UK
Director: John Boorman
Starring: Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling

- Beyond 1984. Beyond 2001. Beyond love. Beyond death…
– I have seen the future and it doesn’t work!
– Into a world of eternal life, he brought the gift of death.