its weird like seeing myself look at myself

Winry Rockbell - I was looking through my folder and found an unfinished sketch of Winry. I can’t believe I’ve never drawn her before. And I experimented with the focus and lighting and shadows. I think it looks decent :3

Made by jiyu-koya. Please do not repost, do not remove source.

shellyshockz  asked:


I always worry that its weird but I very much consider Fairy and I to be the same person. While I dont discuss this much I actually have a very difficult time connecting my own appearance to myself. When I look in the mirror I dont see ‘me’ if that makes sense. 

I always felt more connected to magic and monsters and myths on a personal level so even as a kid I was always imagining myself as some sort of animal or creature. Its one of the reasons I had so many sonas throughout the years, because I was constantly changing and felt like if a sona no longer ‘fit’ me then I needed to find a new one asap. I used to get extremely upset during these shifts and stressed greatly about making sure my sona felt perfectly like ‘me’. 

Im still growing but what I like about Fairy is that I think Im allowing them to grow with me instead of just abandoning an idea and starting from scratch. Im slowly learning to just accept that Im me and Im allowed to change without recreating my whole identity. 

anonymous asked:

I'm nb and out to most of my friends and u refer to myself as a mom a lot of the time (like plant mom, friend group mom etc) and I get a lot of weird looks for it, is it weird to use mom for myself is I use they/them pronouns? Like when I refer to myself as someone's partner I say partner or datemate so I guess it's a little confusing

I can see why people might find it a bit confusing, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use those kinds of nicknames :) if you’re comfortable referring to yourself in that way then I can’t see why not - I’ve occasionally referring to myself as ‘king’ of things and our ‘mom friend’ is a dude

{{wELP MY HAND SLIPPED AND I MADE A DREAMXERROR CHILD BECAUSE WHY THE HELL NOT THey also still need a name which I have yet to decide 


anonymous asked:

For the past couple of months I havent hang out with any of my friends mostly because their always busy. But like I enjoy spending time by myself and not hanging out with anybody. Whenever I tell people I like doing things by myself they think its like weird and boring. But people need to understand that being by yourself is actually nice like I love myself more than ever than hanging out with my friends because they made me feel bad about myself all the time.

Yes it is nice to have some me time to yourself but just make sure you are seeing friends occasionally otherwise you may sort of get forgotten about, or they may think your not bothering, then when you need or want friends they may not be there 💖 just looking out for you. But then again if they make you feel bad about yourself they aren’t really friends tbh

so i dont have any progress pics yet cause its not super noticeable (and i dont like taking pics while working out) but ive been going to the gym a couple times a week, nothin too crazy, but im feelin good!! i keep seeing myself in the mirror at the gym and sometimes i look like i have some muscle definition!! its a weird feeling, ive never wanted to be ripped or anything, and i hate working out, but its time to get in shape and start doing better things for myself. im sick of this weak ass existence ive had going on for the last couple years. im finally here to get better. i will be better. i will be happy.

Sentence Meme for people with the same faceclaim
  • "But... how do we look exactly alike?"
  • "Oh my god its like looking in a mirror!"
  • "It's like looking into a very poorly dressed mirror"
  • "Am I drunk? I think I am because I'm seeing myself"
  • "Oh... are we not going to do that thing where we both move our arms in sync? Well now I feel stupid for doing those random arm movements"
  • "Is this some weird 'separated at birth' thing?"
  • "Are you me from the future?"
  • "Am I you from the past?"
  • "Witchcraft! It has to be! No two people can look alike without the involvement of sorcery!"
  • "I can't believe you look just like me?"
  • "Well, I must say that looking at myself makes me realize just how beautiful I actually am"
  • "Gosh I am... beautiful/handsome!"
  • "Give me my face back. It's not yours"
  • "Impostor!"
  • "Do you think you can just parade around trying to be me and think that I wouldn't notice"
  • "Are we long lost twins?"
  • "I am so exited to have a long lost twin!"
  • "Is this real? Or am I dreaming?"
  • "I can assure you, this isn't a dream"
  • "We look exactly the same!"

its weird to look at yourself as fragmented facts and experiences and try to reconcile them with who you are. or i guess more accurately piece them into a person because at this point in time i feel wholly myself (if that makes any sense) and like i am my own person but trying to figure out how that person appears to the rest of the world or how to define myself is so odd. its weird to know that i am myself but not have any sense of Who that person is in any terms or how people see me. 


I’m sure Kingsley mentioned something about the multiverse to you guys at one point…?

And to the person who asked about the cape, I have explained it’s origins.

I did it!!!!! :D yays!

So, as a milestone thingy you all have a choice:

Either, whoever likes this post will get an ask and a compliment from me.


If this post gets over 1000 notes I will post a picture of myself. I have never done this sort of thing before so its kind of weird for me, but if you really want to see what I look like then I’m more than happy to show you all ^-^

I made the note requirement high for a reason.

15809) The weird thing is, I was aware of my body dysmorphia even as a child. In like fourth grade, I remember telling myself over and over, "Everyone thinks they're fat," while looking in the mirror to reassure myself. Then I found out that most people see their body the way it actually is. I don't understand how it's possible to not have a distorted body image.

10 or 5, shit maybe even 1 or 2 yrs ago I never would of imagined being able to feel this way but honestly im so happy with the way i look?? its actually insane. Like who actually knew feeling like this 90% of the time was a real possibility??? if you told me that 3 years ago i wouldve called you crazy but im actually comfortable in my skin and it feels very foreign to me.

The craziest part is that i don’t really look much different from how ive always looked. No one sees me and is like “wow youve changed so much!” because i havent at all but theres like this inner glow coming out of me that I literally NEVER had before lol coupled w/ just taking care of myself and working on developing healthy habits and routines thats really transformed the way I see myself. Most of it has been emotional work, tbh. Work that has to do w/ my friendships, relationships and my career.. its weird. idk if this is just what happened when youre about to turn 25 or what??

anonymous asked:

i feel somewhat bad bc i draw mabel as how i looked like as a 12 yo kid bc i really see myself in mabel and relate to her a lot, but i was really chubby and busty when i was 12 (like... i was mistaken for 17 yo) and im somewhat scared people think im sexualizing her when im really just projecting myself onto her this might be a really weird ask sorry

i think like, theres a certain way artists sexualize characters where its really obvious when theyre doing it, or someone who might do it on another occasion. ive gotten pretty good at detecting it… it’s not in the body types, it’s in the posing, i think? you can draw a girl who’s busty without her immediately being a sex object, our body types are not determined by our promiscuity. and if anybody tries to call you out on it just tell them what you told me. just watch your posing and the way you treat her clothing (clothing clinging to the shape of a body is another big red flag) and you should be fine.

Matsui Rena mobile mails 2014/02/25~2014/03/03

Several entries regarding Rena’s concurrency in Nogizaka, notably the one she wrote the 03/02, the evening Nogizaka Captain posted about the shuffle and not wanting to be dyed in their “rival color”. Reading this mail you understand more easily why SKE/Rena fans didn’t take Sakurai words too well. They did hurt Rena and made her even more anxious than she must have feel already…
Glad Sakurai apologized the day after. The exchange won’t be easy, but I count on Rena to live up to “神様” (trollol) expectations.
-> special thanks to Gekirena for helping me finding this precious mail (m__)m

Among other things this week : E stage, hair, play, prunus, Ruby, Lion King (seriously, how can someone watch the same movie hundreds of times? :O) and to finish, an apparition of everyone’s favorite(?) space rat.

Also chokers. Chokers everywhere. They shouldn’t be allowed. Foul play! They’re too sexy for my frail froggy heart!! (*/°^°).


Tuesday, February 25th 2014  23:19


Lately I find choker to be particularly cute, there is also one in Mae Shika Mukane’s costume!
This Spring I want to wear ton of them!

The only problem is that when I fall asleep when I going somewhere I feel like I can’t breath anymore after some time. (laugh)
Neck is a fatal weak point for humans.

I may have a hard time with them but since they’re so cute I’ll bear with it and wear them.

★Wednesday, February 26th 2014  12:22


Peevish mood this morning…
but striving to make it through this morning anyway.
I gave a fright to the staff crew when I came a cropper on stage earlier.
Need to look where I put my feet.

I suppose that many fans are worried about Nogizaka, but Ikoma is properly resolute to take up this challenge, Hori-chan sent me a mail saying how he was happy about my concurrency, others like Kanon showed concern about me, so I’m decided to give my best.

Because, doesn’t it sound fun to jump in a whole new world you know nothing of?
We were the same at first, we couldn’t accept things like kennins and shuffles. But now we plainly understand their merits. It all depends on me to make the same happen with Nogizaka, but first I have to be accepted by members themselves!
When Rie-chan first came as a concurrent member, I already knew her well so I welcomed her without any objection.
It must make a big difference depending if you already know the person or not.

We will talk about the shuffle again another time.


Thursday, February 27th 2014  19:37


Shooting continues today.
There is only one scene before we call it a day, but there is some quite grandiose development coming so I better brass myself for having my image changed considerably!

I couldn’t appear in Seira last stage but I hope my feeling properly reached her.

Because the sadness is something we have to overcome.
I should be strong too.
How to fill the emptiness, how to be recognized, how those questions are quite difficult ones.

But nothing will make my feelings wilt.

Because I know how departing for a new journey always requires great efforts.

Friday,  February 28th 2014  14:26


I could take it easy all this morning and I’m finally going out. We will start rehearsal now.
I had things to do I couldn’t allow myself to skip and yet I did. Reflection upon my behavior now.
It wasn’t the time to watch The Lion King )´O`(

But it really is a masterpiece. Such a good work.
And I luv Disney movies.

Since there is a reward awaiting me today, I should make sure to work hard.


Friday, February 28th 2014  17:32


I decided to properly apply my eyes make-up today, hope it comes out nicely.
I’m a bit nervous.
How comes?

I’m causing people around me to worry a lot.
But everyone is different from everybody else. Ways of thinking are different too.
I will follow and trust in my own curiosity for now.

I’d be very happy if you were to look after me as I release my burning curiosity.

Because you know, I’m one of those people who love adversity. (laugh)

Friday, February 28th 2014  22:25


MSte is overrrrr~
How was it?
I’ve grown used to see myself with brown hair, everybody tells me it suits me too, but I’m still quite shocked seeing myself like this in VTR )´O`(

Photos are fine though.

Dyed hair have its pros and cons.
I’ll have be careful it doesn’t take a weird color when I’ll restore them to black.
I’ll need to dye them one more time before that… So it will last all March maybe?
Do I need to take this color off first before to dye it back to black?
So many mysteries for a first-timer like me.

Ah, but I have no regret!
It’s for the sake of a role after all.
Brown hair are perfect for the girl I play in the movie so I think it’s the way it should be.

Just a few words about my role and I can’t think of anything else anymore… (laugh)

Saturday, March 1st 2014  22:47


Today I went to watch Miyazawa-san’s play.
I rushed there right after the live broadcast!

Miyazawa-san’s back was the coolest thing I had ever seen, she was sublime fighting by herself without even a shield.
And it made me feel envious.

A play is what I want to do the most. I felt how it could bring me so much and gave me the will to work even harder starting tomorrow.

I was trying to picture how it must feel to stand there, on stage, when the roar of applause rises  from the audience.
It’s not like I could grasp the sensation fully yet, but it makes no doubt it must feel incredibly satisfactory.

★★Sunday, March 2nd 2014  00:18★★
Words count alone can give the wrong idea. The so called difference of perspective.


Since the concurrent position was decided, I read Nogizaka members’ blog a lot and I keep listening to their music.
They have so many great songs. I’m aware everybody have their own feelings regarding the situation too.

To tell the truth, I was certain the shuffle wouldn’t affect me at all.
Since there are members like Jurina and Nao-chan in kennin, I had arbitrarily developed the feeling that I had to watch over SKE for their share too. That’s why I thought I wouldn’t be involved.
That I would forever be in SKE (only).

Having seen Rie-chan, Jurina, Anna, Nao-chan and Minarun in concurrent position I know how they struggled and I understand how incredibly difficult it is.
But now that it’s time for me to throw myself into this whole new place, I will experience this hardship firsthand and write it in my flesh.

It’s not about what group I’m being sent to.
I think everyone worries about it, but what matters is that I simply and purely love SKE.
In the future I want to add Nogizaka. I’ve liked Nogizaka since before, but I liked it as a group.
Does the nuance in how much I liked it and I want to like it from now on comes across? Of course it won’t be easy to be acknowledged by everyone.
First I want to go greet them.

I need to do things properly.


Sunday, March 2nd 2014  09:43


Good morning.

I’ve been thinking over a lot of things since yesterday, had a lot to memorize to and now that I try to put some order in my mind my head feels like it’s going to eXplode! (laugh)

Preparing for tomorrow’s work I tried to figure the best course of action to give the less trouble to people around me.

Ah, since I came back home Ruby has been giving me total attention.
She must have been lonely when I was gone.
I missed her too~)´O`(
She let me take her in my arm, she came to see me, showed me her belly etc, she’s totally in lovey-dovey mode.
She is so cute! I love her!

I think that every time, but I time I’d love to spend the day sleeping with her!

Fluffy Ruby is the best.

Sunday, March 2nd 2014  21:21


The stage is over!
That’s my own count but with today’s stages I’ve finally performed a total of 10 times right?
Pfeww. It’s not much compared to everyone but I’ve taken a lot of pleasure in every of those stages and they’re always a precious time for me.

I have to admit that thinking it is going to end makes me sad.
I thought we had room to progress so much more…
But that’s precisely because we have this time limit that I want us to improve as much as we can.
Today Churi came to see the stage and I received a fresh opinion from her, I’ll think about her words and make the best of them.

I was a poor Leader, but I was glad to be accepted by everyone for who I am.
It’s not a reason to not try to correct my flaws.
Though I have the presentiment those efforts will be in vain. (laugh)

I won’t perform in the stage the day after tomorrow but please everyone, look forward to it.

Sunday, March 2nd 2014  23:37


Here I am at this hour thinking about how I would have wanted to try to perform LAY DOWN with this hairdo.
I hesitate about how to make my hair for Team E stage DVD recording.
I haven’t performed it with straight hair yet so trying to picture the result is exciting but Churi told me today’s ponytail was just right, so which one?

Half-up isn’t half of a bad choice either, no? (laugh)

Which one do you like best?

And I still have my hair dyed too, so much unforeseen events.(*´・ω・‘*)

Oh, worries~

Monday, March 3rd 2014  10:27


Retributive muscular pain in da place!
And there is a big ski rash forming on my scalp, I can tell(´;ω;‘)Ugu
The greatest affliction in this world.
Probably because the ponytail kept pulling my hair tightly yesterday.
Since my skin is sensible it immediately gets inflamed.
I’ve taken off the extensions near the swelling and opted for a new hairstyle for the day.

I could rest early yesterday so I feel exceptionally refreshed today.
I slept for a whole 12 hours!
Though I woke up a first time at 5am, I went back to sleep until 7am.

A warm bed is such a bliss.

Monday, March 3rd 2014  21:24


That Kyubey blanket is too cute.
One of those which turn you into him completely.

Oh right, when I went out for the shooting today I noticed lots of prunus were already blooming.
This mere observation put me in a good mood.
Plum blossoms are small and cute. Seeing those flowers today, I took a liking on them.
I was moved by how such thick and solid tree and branch could produce so frail and cute flowers.

Cherry blossoms are nice too, but I have preference for plum ones.
Though my favorites remain white magnolia.

I love pure white flowers.

8341) I'm at my highest now (recovered), and it's weird to think that when I was at my lowest weight I didn't see it at all. I saw myself as how I see myself now but with a negative connotation. I really wonder what I must've looked like to other people.

I look in mirrors a lot. Virtually any reflective surface I pass I’ll stop for a quick second and check myself. Now some may find this narcissistic but they don’t realize it’s the byproduct of years of insecurity. I’ve been fat my whole life, and insecure for a good amount of it. Since starting post-secondary I’m largely over feeling self-conscious. But me checking myself is an anxiety thing. Its a thing I need to do in order to make sure that I no longer feel the same way I did growing up - where I hated seeing my reflection and wished I looked different.
It’s mostly a passive habit now, as opposed to a nervous one. But something I feel like has become part of my self-care in a weird way, a reminder of how far I’ve come in being happy with myself.