its too hard to say goodbye

Sentence Starters {Intense Angst Edition}
  • "Do I really mean nothing to you?"
  • "I never meant to hurt you!"
  • "You are worth less than dirt to me."
  • "We could have been happy together..."
  • "I should've protected you!"
  • "Will you stay with me till I'm gone?"
  • "Don't leave me here, please!"
  • "It was my fault... it was all my fault!"
  • "I don't want to die-!"
  • "Please give me another chance!"
  • "It's okay... I wasn't meant to survive this."
  • "Please forgive me..."
  • "I'm dying and you can't stop it."
  • "You're dying and I can't stop it!"
  • "I only came to say goodbye."
  • "Stay with me!"
  • "I thought you loved me. I was wrong."
  • "I thought I loved you. I was wrong."
  • "Please don't hurt me!"
  • "I don't want to see you."
  • "I'm so sorry..."
  • "I'm ending it tonight. Don't try to stop me..."
  • "What did you do to yourself?"
  • "You can't just tell me to leave!"
  • "This wasn't meant to work out, you know."
  • "It's too hard. It's just too hard..."
  • "I was stupid to think you cared."
  • "You were stupid to think I cared."
How the turtles say goodbye to the s/o:

WARNING: NONE

Requested by: @mcartminec4

Hi! I’m going through a rough patch right now because I’m in military school & I’m going become a Solider but my parents won’t see that. So can I a scenario where the turtles have to say goodbye​ to their​ S/O who is going to war. You don’t have to do it. If it’s hard to understand it’s basically turtles x depressed solider reader. (I’m so sorry 😅)

Originally posted by heroinewithoutashell

Leonardo:

Leo puts on a front; he’s the leader, the other’s can’t see him weak. But the truth of it is he’s going insane; he can’t handle losing you, he loves you far too much and now he has to say goodbye. Goodbyes were never something he’d had to do before, because he’d never lost anything he loved, and never had he been more grateful of that. This sucked. It was painful and horrific, and he didn’t think he could recover from the loss of this love. He kissed you so tenderly, you barely felt it, and his lips just hovered there for what felt like forever, but at the same time it wasn’t nearly long enough. You had to look at him, one last time, and you could see each other breaking at the thought of being apart. But the main reason it hit Leo so hard, was because he was the leader; and this was the one thing he could not control. He was powerless, because he was losing you.

Originally posted by mikeyandpizza

Raphael:

He won’t let on that he’s upset, because he’s too tough for that, but really he’s dying inside. Breathing is agonising as he stares at you, preparing to walk out of his life for good. He doesn’t want to let you leave, but he can’t do anything to make you stay. So he puts on a brave face, plays it off like nothing, but when its his turn to say goodbye, it begins to fall. He’ll mutter quietly, so that the other’s don’t hear his soppy excuse of a goodbye, and he’ll hold you for as long as possible when you give him a final hug. When you look up at him, you can see the pain in his eyes, and even you don’t want to pull away. This is him losing his everything, and the damage is already visible in his hollow green eyes. He loves you more than he could ever say, and right now holding you is the only thing holding him together.

Originally posted by karai-oroku00

Donatello:

He won’t say much, in the upcoming days he’ll distract himself with work so that he doesn’t have to face the awkwardness of being around you, knowing you are going to leave him in a matter of days. And when the time finally comes that you have to go, he’ll stumble over his words, not finding the right ones to say before his time with you runs out. And you’ll just smile, trying to memorise every inch of his face, and when he gets too choked up to continue, you reach up and kiss his cheek, knowing that words aren’t always enough.

Originally posted by heroinewithoutashell

Michelangelo:

He’ll look at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen, and in a second you’ll regret leaving. Despite having to go, you’ll want to stay just to stop Mikey looking at you like that. He won’t even try and play it off cool, even if it’ll make it easier for you to leave him, he just doesn’t have the strength. He’ll let out a soft sob, and pull you into a crippling hug, which neither of you want to end. Because Michelangelo knows that as soon as he lets go of you, you’ll be gone for good. And he doesn’t ever want you leave, he loves you too much to ever say goodbye. Even though he has to…

It’s Joy Time for Bruno Mars

WE’RE JUST CAVEMEN, hitting on rocks,” says Bruno Mars. “It’s no different—you’re a caveman and you got a rock in front of you, you hit it with a stick to get everybody dancing. This is our time to forget about everything, it’s joy time. So who’s the best at hitting that rock? Who’s going to make the village dance the hardest?” 

At a casual glance, you might not know that Mars is one of our superstar cavemen. Pulling up to an upscale Italian restaurant on an anonymous street in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley, alone in a relatively modest Cadillac, he parks in back by the dumpsters to slip in quietly. In contrast to the flashy outfits he wears onstage, he’s dressed in a simple collarless bomber jacket, a white Gucci logo T-shirt and camouflage pants. A small crucifix on a thin chain hangs around his neck. 

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What if Freebatch was real?

 What if Ben and Martin did love each other, but they couldn’t be together because they chose to walk a different path? What if they fell in love on set and HATED themselves for falling in love because it was so cliche but they eventually couldn’t help themselves and did something about it? What if they look at each other on set while pretending to be two men who can’t figure it out and they kinda hate it because they figured out they love each other long ago? What if Martin kissed Ben first? What if he was frustrated with how polite Ben was being about something and Ben was prattling on and Martin kissed him to shut him up? What if Ben kissed Martin first? What if Martin was taking the piss with Ben and Ben was so grateful that he knew he would always have Martin be honest with him and he leaned over and kissed him in appreciation? What if Ben tried to tell Martin about his engagement a million times but couldn’t make himself do it? What if Martin read about the engagement in the paper or heard about it from others? What if Martin’s heart broke when he heard but he had to pretend it didn’t matter? What if Ben kinda hoped Martin would show up and stop him? What if Martin was so, so close to showing up and stopping Ben? What if the first time they spoke after they couldn’t make themselves hang up the phone? What if they stayed on the phone in silence just going about their day, simply enjoying the knowledge the other was on the line? What if they never spoke about it but decided it could never happen again? What if they fell into bed again and again and again and swore every time would be the last? What if one day they decide to call it quits on Sherlock because it got to be too hard? What if they go years without talking to each other? What if one day when they’re both free they meet and talk and admit that it wasn’t possible to move on? What if they kiss, make love, and vow to never say goodbye again? What if Martin pokes fun at Ben’s looks and says he’s disgusting to look at? What if Ben pokes fun at Martin’s beard and says its far too itchy? What if they both dress in matching tuxes at their wedding and pledge their love in front of friends and family and were finally, finally happy? What if Freebatch was real? What if?

Remember baler trip?

3 nights ago nagalarm phone ko. “Write letter to echa”. Well I wrote somethin again. Supposedly aabot ko sana kung andun ka. But I threw it na. Then every thought rushed in to my head about something. Idk its hard. But I was gonna say goodbye. My love was gonna say goodbye. It needs to. I need to atleast hold back enough coz Its too hard. No matter what I do I cant make you love me. Saka sa nakikita ko, sa mga actions natin, nakikita ko naman na wala talaga. So yun. I really do love you. But unfortunately too many things dont permit it. Your friends, my ex and sadly you. You’re an awesome lady. Kept tellin u that. But I can’t bare the pain of the ignorance. And its not your fault. I chose to love you. It’s not your fault you’re you. I can always be your friend. Not your bestfriend coz you have Terrence. Or whoever. Jealous as it may sound, but it’s the truth. I’ve always been a friend. And you know you can come to me anytime. Whatever you do in life whatever you accomplish, please know I’m always loving you from a distance. For the last time, I love you so much. Thank you for all the good moods and also the bad ones.

— 

P.P.

And this was the saddest morning message I have ever received.

5+1 times Nursey and Dex didn’t get together

During the strange and quiet time that exists between Christmas and New Year’s, Dex realized that he no longer hated Derek Nurse, although he thought about him just as much. His mind kept trying to slot Derek into the small spaces of his life: the window of a hipster coffee shop as he drives downtown with his family for brunch, his laugh in a living room full of redheaded siblings, the weight of him sitting next to Dex as he scrolls mindless through Netflix.

Dex had dialed the number on New Year’s Eve before even realizing what he was doing. Nursey answered almost immediately with a din of noise behind him.

“You good, Poindexter?”

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“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” 
- Winnie the Pooh

An old, dusty toy beneath a bed. Forgotten - @tangentqueenofdragons I was trying very hard not just to redraw that scene from Toy Story 2, partly because it would take too long (I’m such a procrastinator) and partly because while I do believe wholeheartedly in drawing from references I do also want to be able to figure out drawings in my own head. 

Anyway enjoy this drawing, and the feels. 

Lauren Aquilina sentence starters
  • "Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here."
  • "I can't be everything you want to see."
  • "It sounds like my idea of hell."
  • "Please don't drag me down."
  • "Society killed the teenager."
  • "Didn't you know the devil always wins this game?"
  • "You are dying to just to live."
  • "You're a grade A in following the crowd."
  • "I just wish I could mute all their mouths."
  • "I don’t know how I’m gonna get up from this one."
  • "It's clear that I'm not ready for this."
  • "I can't live up to these expectations of me."
  • "I don't see you with me."
  • "It's time to say goodbye."
  • "Why is it always you I come running back to?"
  • "I've wanted you for too long."
  • "Why do I wanna do it all again?"
  • "You've had me chasing you for years, I don't know why I still care, but I do."
  • "I've never wanted anything more than you."
  • "You left and then acted like we never existed."
  • "Do you know how hard I tried to be everything you wanted?"
  • "Who am I to tell you that you should stay?"
  • "I know you'll be happy, and eventually I'll be fine."
  • "Those hardest to love need it most."
  • "Such good friends, it has to end, it always does."
  • "We are too fragile just to guess."
  • "What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools?"
  • "I want you more than I've wanted anyone; isn't that dangerous?"
  • "Oh god, I feel so unprepared."
  • "Got what I want, but now I'm scared."
  • "Do I annoy you?"
  • "Do I bore you?"
  • "We won't ever be."
  • "Forgive me, I'm just so fucked up in the head."
  • "Do I embarrass you beyond belief?"
  • "Is losing me such a big relief?"
  • "Look at all the chaos you've escaped."
  • "I love your brain, but I hate your guts."
  • "You've got it all."
  • "Put all your faults to bed."
  • "You can be king again."
  • "You're too wrapped up in your self doubt."
  • "I can't control my feelings."
  • "You're completely off limits, for more reasons than just one, but I can't stop."
  • "You're aware of my existence, but you don't know I'm here."
  • "You're the center of attention."
  • "You're so busy being busy, I don't want to interfere."
  • "My mind is blind to everything but you."
  • "I wonder if you wonder about me too."
  • "Our lives are stories waiting to be told."
  • "We'll defy the rules until we die."
  • "So let's be sinners to be saints."
  • "The world may disapprove, but my world is only you."
  • "If we're sinners, then it feels like heaven to me."
  • "You showed me feelings I've never felt before."
  • "Our hearts are too ruthless to break."
  • "I'll never be the same."
  • "Why won't you just talk to me?"
  • "Talk to me or watch me leave."
  • "There's a universe inside your head."
  • "Are you ever gonna wake up, or are you gonna let me just walk away?"
  • "I don't know why you're hiding."
  • "This changes everything."
  • "You're so oblivious to words I've never said."
  • "This is the ugly truth."
  • "Shall we leave?"
  • "Becoming strangers once again, or maybe that's all we ever were."
  • "You'll be fine without me."
  • "And in your excellence, I forgot I used to have my own."
  • "You won't even notice that I'm gone."
  • "You consume my thoughts... I'm not sure that I'm in yours at all."
  • "The worst part of it all is that I desperately still want someone who never wanted me."
  • "I'm only your everything when you feel alone."
  • "Who the hell are you for the hell you've put me through?"
  • "Everything we try to say has hidden meaning."
  • "Time moves slow, waiting for this to evolve."
  • "When hearts have nothing to hold, they let go."
  • "What the hell are we waiting for?"
  • "Are we lovers or liars?"
  • "There's nothing left to try."
  • "Lying to ourselves, lying to each other."
  • "All the things you loved are now my flaws."
  • "Should we lose everything we've got, or settle for something that we're not?"
  • "Can we go back?"
  • "You're running just to run from me."
  • "I don't blame you."
  • "Who would wanna be around me?"
  • "Thought you were human but you're just a ghost."
  • "It's not hard to let it go when there's nothing to hold on to."
  • "I've forgotten who you are, but I remember that's a good thing."
  • "You promised me we'd always be fine; guess you lied."
  • "It's not that I don't want you, it's just I don't know how to love you like I used to."
  • "Second chances are hard to find when you damaged everything I had left."
  • "I know I've been so cold, but pushing you away is how I cope."

theres a point where it tips
theres a point where it breaks
theres a point where it bends
and a point we just can’t take
anymore

theres a line that we’ll cross
and there’s no return
theres a time and a place
no bridges left to burn
anymore

we can’t just wait with lives at stake
until they think we’re ready
our enemies are gathering
the storm is growing deadly

now its time to say goodbye
to the things we loved
and the innocence of youth
how the time seemed to fly
from our carefree lives
and the solitude and peace we always knew

theres a day when we’ll fight
and we’re not gonna fall
theres a day when we’ll stand
and a day when we won’t crawl
anymore

there’s a moment in time
and there’s no going back
when we’re pushed too hard
and we won’t hold our attack
anymore

we can’t just cling to childish things
as evil just grows closer
humanity’s in jeopardy
this fight is far from over

now its time to say goodbye
to the things we loved
and the innocence of youth
with a doubt in our minds
why we chose this life
and at times we can’t help wondering…

were we born to fight and die?
sacrificed for one huge lie?
are we heroes keeping peace?
or are we weapons?
pointed at the enemy
so someone else can claim a victory?

now its time to say goodbye
to the things we loved
and the innocence of youth
how the time seemed to fly
from our carefree lives
and the solitude and peace we always knew

@jabbubabbu the ray of sunshine he is tagged me to do these, helping to cheer me up a little (i’m not too sure I got that job, I’m going to wait until Friday before I properly start searching again) <3

  1. Coke or pepsi: Coke (if I have Pepsi you can say goodbye to my normal sugars and a fantastic hypo, we have learnt this the hard way)
  2. Disney or dreamworks: Both. Why must you fight perfection against perfection. 
  3. coffee or tea: Neither unless herbal teas
  4. books or movies: Books
  5. windows or mac: Windows
  6. dc or marvel: I don’t actually have an opinion on this. 
  7. xbox or playstation: Playstation
  8. dragon age or mass effect: I don’t play either. 
  9. night owl or early riser: Night owl
  10. cards or chess: Cards
  11. chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
  12. vans or converse: Neither 
  13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: I say huh?
  14. fluff or angst: GOD I LOVE BOTH. BOTH HAVE THE POWER TO DESTROY. According to my bestie I write angst quite well though?
  15. beach or forest: Forest
  16. dogs or cats:  Both, yess!
  17. clear skies or rain: Rain
  18. cooking or eating out: I want to cook more but damn if I don’t love being unhealthly
  19. spicy food or mild food: Spicy but not too much
  20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Can I put in Easter? And not just because of the chocolate. 
  21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot:- Too cold always. 
  22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: I would like to work towards fighting the justice system and helping others understand they can find peace. Not very super hereoy but still I think that’s what ‘d want.  
  23. animation or live action: Ehhhhh both. 
  24. paragon or renegade: I know this is for games but honestly I am such a paragon in real life it’s not even funny
  25. baths or showers: Baths,for my awful skin condition
  26. team cap or team ironman: Team Cap
  27. fantasy or sci-fi:  SCI-FI! SCI-FI!
  28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so what are they?:  My favourite quotes change from time to time but here are my 4 at the moment. 1: “If the hurt comes so will the happiness - be patient” - Rupi Kapur. 2: “The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers” - Deepak Chopra. 3: “Spread love everywhere you go…Let no on ever come to you without leaving better and happier” - Mother Teresa and this is one I wil always always stand by “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” - King James Bible (Galatians 5:14)
  29. youtube or netflix: Both
  30. harry potter or percy jackson: A Very Potter Musical
  31. when do you feel accomplished:  When I know I’ve helped someone or had a very good stage run. 
  32. star wars or star trek: I love Star Wars and I love Star Trek. A battle that has lasted the decades. That said…STAR TREK! STAR TREK!
  33. paperback books or hardback books: Hardbacks
  34. horror or rom-com? Rom-Coms, we get on better than horrors. 
  35. to live in a world without literature or music: NO.
  36. pastel colors or dark colors: Hmmm that pastel happiness asthetic. 
  37. tv shows or movies: TV shows, you don’t have to scramble to fit it and tie it all up in one episode. You have wayyy more time to develop your characters, their stories and their motives. I know movies can do this too but to the extent of TV shows (and I mean good ones) I don’t think so really. Also you tend to get hooked on a character or storyline an maybe sometimes you just want to know what happens and maybe the movie doesn’t explore that. 
  38. city or countryside:  Countryside
  39. If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: - Listennn I’m quite happy being my beautiful stubborn and self indulgent Taurus self. 
  40. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be? - HAHAHAHAHA, WE ALL KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO PUT. It’d be of course the wonderful Big Time Rush but I’d choose their final album 24/7. OR I’d shove all their songs onto one album and have it like that. Because I would like to cry to Worldwide for years. 
  41. cinema or theatre? - Theatre. I am a theatre kid. THE STAGE IS WHERE I BELONG. YASSSS! Also come on now some of the best plays have made it onto stage along with many types of theatre e.g Maks (Commedia Dell Arte) Clowning, Mime and physical theatre such as DV8, Pina Basuch etc. 
  42. If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be? - Again too many but right now I WOULD LIKE TO HUG JAMES HATHAWAY, PLEASE MY AWKWARD TALL SMOL. Oh and always H.G Wells from Poe Party, please be kay our smol bean.
  43. smiling or smirking? - Smiling
  44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent? - I have days where I am one or the other, no spefeic. 
  45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle? - Playlists
  46. travelling or staying at home? - Both
  47. If you could have a meal with three people, alive and dead, who would you choose? - Now there’s a question. Mary Kate Wiles because I would love to pick her brain and I basically love her. Maya Angelou because wow, and Thomas Sanders because he seems really nice and looks like a laugh a minute. 
  48. Favourite sports team? - Mclaren Honda for F1 but damn if I don’t love Ferrari. But to be honest I don’t really mind so long as it’s a good and clean race. Oh and I think my mum and my late grandad would be like you what if I didn’t put down their ultimate love and praise for Tottenham Hotspur. 
  49. Paris or London? - London

Tagging @illegaile @buttonedrose @roxymoron101 @sestrachilds @selfishsocks but only if you want to do it mind!

RWBY Volume 3 Soundtrack prompts
  • "Now they know the cost of trusting you's obliteration."
  • "This is not a tragedy."
  • "This is not an accident."
  • "You placed your faith in fools and now you'll smother in lament."
  • "Their iron gloves point fingers."
  • "If i just closed my eyes then i could go anywhere."
  • "don't be foolish, give up your wish, big things aren't for you."
  • "You were the one who held me down and told me I was heading nowhere."
  • "Accept your fate and show good face."
  • "Why was I your fool?"
  • "I've got a message here for you!"
  • "Time for you to learn it's my turn!"
  • "I won't be held down any longer!"
  • "I've waited all my life and finally it's here."
  • "Hey wait turn and show your face!"
  • "I'm in control I own my soul I'll never go back there!"
  • "I don't care what it costs me, I know I almost lost me."
  • "You rose i fell made my life hell."
  • "Finally see how sick you are."
  • "Who am I to complain?"
  • "The life I fought for still isn't mine."
  • "I know that I could do so much, if I could just believe in me."
  • "Can I stop my fall?"
  • "Years of scorn will leave you cold."
  • "I think I might change it all."
  • "We're all born with a dream, we wanna make come true."
  • "I bet it's hard to live with, knowing that you'll never be this fine."
  • "I'm cool like the rain, and I'm hot like the sun."
  • "You can see I never miss a beat."
  • "Your makeover's long overdue."
  • "We can't all be divine."
  • "Just think of happy things."
  • "Just be more like me!"
  • "You and I disagree on certain points of view."
  • "Don't beat yourself up, don't blame yourself."
  • "Maybe your inner beauty can make up for your waistline."
  • "You are my star."
  • "You make me smile when the world's come undone."
  • "What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and not fall in love with you?"
  • "Can I lock up my heart and not feel it?"
  • "If love is blind then how do I make you see me?"
  • "I'm falling there' no doubt."
  • "Is there any chance for this dream romance?"
  • "Should I just give up?"
  • "What's a fool to do?"
  • "Could you fall for me like I fell for you?"
  • "You should give up now your retaliation's moot!"
  • "You want to mess around come on let's go!"
  • "I'll run circles around ya, I can touch the sky!"
  • "I'm the one that your mama said 'don't mess with them or you'll end up dead' "
  • "The bigger they are, then the more they will bleed."
  • "I gleam like a blade and am harder than iron."
  • "I'm the one, who rose out of filth and was loved by no one."
  • "You're still standing up? Well let's go another round."
  • "You like the way I dress? Yeah I know I'm fine."
  • "I guess you didn't know that you were dealing with the best."
  • "You shoulda stayed at home today."
  • "It might be hard to hear me say, kicking your ass is child's play."
  • "I hope you're not crushed by this ridicule."
  • "Does it feel good? Knowing you tried?"
  • "How does it feel knowing your efforts will fail?"
  • "You will not prevail."
  • "It was you who ended their lives."
  • "Have you no shame?!"
  • "You'll regret your deeds."
  • "You'll watch them all bleed."
  • "The taste will be sweet when you get what you've earned and i'll watch you burn."
  • "I never felt that it was wise to wish too much."
  • "I never thought a hero would ever come my way."
  • "Now it's cold without you here."
  • "I won't say goodbye."
  • "You showed me that a greater dream can be achieved."
  • "The light you gave to guide me will never fade away."
  • "Moving forward never felt as hard as today."
  • "I don't have to say goodbye."
Top 10 Anime Girls

Since the very inception of anime, no question has been more difficult to answer than this one “Which anime girl is the best ?”.
Today i aim to share my opinion on this matter. 
Ill cut straight to the point, this is my list of the top 10 anime girls, i will be judging: 
1) Personality 
2) Appearance 
3) Lasting Impact
These were the key points i kept in mind when compiling this list.
Oh and only one character per franchise.
Please enjoy
*this is not a character review, i will only be detailing aspects of characters i enjoyed and aspects that fleshed them out or made appealing and interesting. 
*for future reference and Omni-Bus anime is an anime, often a harem where each of the possible love interest for the MC gets her own arc animated, each arc is self contained and when one arc ends it is considered final and a new arc begins, actions on one arc do not affect other arcs unless specified. Basically every girl gets the MC, but the MC gets only one girl per arc. Each arc should be treated as a self contained story.


NUMBER 10
MEI TACHIBANA : ( SUKITTE LI NO YO )

PERSONALITY : At the begin of the anime, Mei is the single shyest character i have ever seen, refusing to acknowledge anyone around her out of fear of getting hurt. As the anime goes on, she begins to grow as a character, slowly accepting others and allowing herself to get close to people. She often is well meaning but her shyness, indecisiveness and lack of trust in others causes herself and those around her a great deal of grief. Nonetheless she comes of as a lovable if awkward character with plenty of strength hidden behind all the shyness.

APPEARANCE : 
With a character like Mei, she is more grounded in her design, short hair is always plus in my books and her huge eyes may seem a bit odd to those not used to this style,but overall her design was well implemented as it serves the purpose of the story where the “School’s hottest guy” falls for the “average girl”.

LASTING IMPACT : 
Her slight tendency to act violent was a memorable feature of hers, but the real impact came from how well Mei worked as character you could root for no matter how many times she made the situation worse for herself, her struggles felt believable and would easily  connect with those suffering from social anxiety. 

NUMBER 9
TAIGA AISAKA : ( TORADORA )

PERSONALITY : The term “tsundere” refers to someone who is initially cold or hostile towards others but over time shows a more caring side. Taiga Aisaka is the first of many to come on this list and also the embodiment of this term. She is a tsundere through and through and a very well developed tsundere at that.Prone to all manner of violence, she is immensely entertaining to watch. Really you truly need to watch Toradora to understand what i mean. I shall say no more.

APPEARANCE : 
I have long held the belief that Taiga was designed to appeal to the Lolicon demographic ( which im not to fond of ) and my belief is well placed, she is short like a child, and has several characteristics of a child. With this in mind though, one must actually consider that she is in fact not a child, well, not under the age of 14 anyway, i found myself more attracted to her adorableness rather than any other form of appeal and that worked given her tsundere personality.

LASTING IMPACT : 
Taiga probably had the one of the largest impacts on me out of any character on this list, purely because she is unbelievably entertaining to watch, she steals the screen every second she is in frame and its a definite plus that she gets solid development as the show goes on.


NUMBER 8
CHITOGE KIRISAKI : ( NISEKOI
)
*tsugumi would be here but i decided with chitoge because she got more development as a character.

PERSONALITY : If you were to ask me if i’d ever be sick of tsunderes, i’d laugh for about 10 minuets straight and then slap you. Yes she is another tsundere and i mean heavy on the “tsun”, she is voilent loud and never expresses her feelings. Since the anime hasnt reached a solid conclusion as of yet, she has yet to develop completely as a character, but even so, by the time season 1 ends, you see a noticeably different Chitoge than the one from the beginning. I really look forward to seeing her grow more as a character.

APPEARANCE : 
Her appearence really sticks her out as the true star of the show, her long blonde hair with pink tips on the end, her bow on her head that at times act like bunny ears, her “well proportioned” body, as evident in the multiple swimming episodes, all these combine to create a character worthy of a staring role. Her tsundere outbursts are especially adorable, add in the signature “Studio Shaft head tilt” and you have a character who is the centre of attention at all times.

LASTING IMPACT : 
Watching Nisekoi purely for Chitoge is perfectly reasonable, she is indeed the most entertaining character their, while getting a solid amount of development, she left a fair impression on my, and watching her deal with her emotional turmoil was a satisfying endeavor. Its unlikely will see the conclusion to her story soon as season 2 of nisekoi is still a way down the road but seeing Chitoge again makes it worth the wait.

NUMBER 7
MINENE URYUU : ( MIRAI NIKKI )

PERSONALITY : Ok, first let me say, i know im going to get a lot of shit for including Minene instead of Yuno, and here is why i did this, Minene is a better character overall, she has a immensely crazy side but manages to keep calm and composed even in the face of many adversities, she also has a caring side to her that is exposed as the series goes on and has one of the most emotional sub-plot in the entire series. Given her background its easy to understand why she is messed up in the head a bit, but unlike Yuno, Minene actually grows as a character and by the end, we she a completely different and greatly imporved Minene.

APPEARANCE : 
One other area where she trumps Yuno is in character design, i mean, she is smoking hot !! Long purple hair and incredible body, its obvious the designers made her with sex appeal in mind, given that she has her fair share of nudity in the series. She even manages to rock an eye patch, and that says something. But she does have her adorable moments to. So its not all mindless sex appeal.

LASTING IMPACT : 
She was a definite badass, seriously she may one of the best ass kicking babes in anime, and it was nice to see a women who is sexy and can still kill most of her male opponents in a few seconds. And her ability, not to completely lose her mind ( unlike almost all other characters in the series ) made her really stand out.

NUMBER 6 
INABA HIMEKO : ( KOKORO CONNECT )

PERSONALITY : Yes, another tsundere, but i warned you people there were more to come. Inaba isnt a severe tsundere but still, she is indeed one. She constantly puts up a front of being strong, cold and independent making wise ass remarks about the other characters, but soon we learn her true more fragile and caring nature, and its this sort of character development that makes her easy to root for and relatable. At times she allows her true feelings to slip out leading to both drama and hilarity.

APPEARANCE:
Oh look, short hair, no but seriously, as far as appearance goes i love girls with short hair. Inaba is one step away from being what i would call the perfect looking girl. She is not too short, Short hair, a good body ( not ridiculous ), if she had glasses, she would be unfairly perfect. She hits more a cuteness appeal that sex appeal, which i think given the nature of the show is a very wise decision. ( although a few episodes try to bring her to sex appeal side, but only a few, and they worked fine ).

LASTING IMPACT : 
Given how Inabas story played out, she left me with a big impression, i loved her from start to finish and her pain felt real, instead of some overly dramatic nonsense pushed in just for the sake of drama ( unlike a certain other character in the series ). Inaba was entertaining to watch from start to end, she managed to be a solid character in a very solid show. Also id like to point out that i loved the voice of Sawashiro Miyuki who voiced Inaba. I feel in love with her voice as soon as i heard it.

NUMBER 5
RYUKO MATOI : ( KILL LA KILL ) 

PERSONALITY : Ryuko starts of the anime as a very hot headed,angry and over confident character whose sole incentive is revenge. But while she is till hot headed and over confident at the end of the anime, she does really grow, mostly due to her the friendships she makes on her way. Ryuko has a solid resolve and an unstoppable drive, her personality feels like a breath of fresh air for a female character, to be able to vulnerable yet strong, weak yet protected, at first she may appear bland and one dimensional, but if you still think that at the end, then you didnt pay attention to her at all.

APPEARANCE : 
While Ryuko’s personality may be a breath of fresh air, her appearance is the tried and true form of character design, that of the short hair, bright highlight, and a body to envy ( if your a girl )(body you want to hold if your a guy). But at times it like two different Ryukos exist, one is when she transforms into her battle outfit that shows as much skin as a bikini, but the other, when she is normal, is hugely more grounded, (see above pic). i personally like her “normal” form, she still has the rocking short hair, that in your face highlight, and that damn sailor outfit, seriously, she is a hell of a lot more attractive in that. These two forms are so drastically different its hard to believe its the same girl all the time.

LASTING IMPACT : 
To say Ryuko left a huge impact on we would be saying too much, but she did leave me with a rather large hole in my heart, not often do i fall for girls who have no romance in their anime, so to say goodbye to her with no romantic plot, it felt really odd, im not saying that every anime needs romance, im just saying, what happened here with Ryuko was weird. But regardless she made it so high on this list even without any romance, and thats because she was a solid dynamite character. Dont lose your way Ryuko.


NUMBER 4
MUROTO AKI : ( PHOTOKANO ) 

PERSONALITY : Im just gonna come out and say it, she worked, on every level she appealed to me, she is a shy, timid, strict, hardworking, kind and a slightly awkward tsundere and that just worked for me. I loved everything about her personality. I really have no complaints. 

APPEARANCE : 
She has glasses and twin tails, you can see where this is going right, again her character design appealed to me greatly, and while the anime portrayed her with a slightly flat chest ( not completely flat ) and tried to give us the impression that she had it as an imperfection in her design, it seemed to ground her more in reality and that in turn added to her appeal and added a cuteness to her every time she got embarrassed about it.

LASTING IMPACT
 Best senpai ever !!Easily providing the most enjoyable arc in photokano, Muroto senpai left a huge impression on me, i fell in love with her almost as soon as she was introduced and grew to love her more as the story went on.Being the student council president had a sort of authoritarian appeal to it “if you know what i mean”. Sadly due to the Omni-Bus format of Photokano, we spend only a small amount of time with our beloved senpai though it was marvelous seeing her get her happy ending, if she had a whole season dedicated to herself, she would be in the top 3 easily.

NUMBER 3 
KAGA KUOKO : ( GOLDEN TIME )

PERSONALITY : Kaga Kuoko, is really an odd one, at the very beginning of Golden Time, i was deeply annoyed with her obsessive and boderline insane possessiveness, but very quickly and much to my amazement i found myself completely in love with her. What were once annoying personality issues became quirky adorable traits, guess its due to the fact that early on we discover that she has such pure motivations behind everything she does, she does it all purely out of love, and who could hate that, especially when the end of the shows come around.

APPEARANCE : 
Kuoko does it again, she normally goes against my idea on how the perfect girl would look, but she is so high on this list thanks to those traits as well. Her long light brown hair, her summer bikini figure and her adorable eyes all managed to win me over. 

LASTING IMPACT : 
When the final curtain dropped and the anime ended, i was left wanting more of Kuoko, much much more, she may have been the star through out the show, but that just left me wanting more and more, her tireless efforts to be the best for her love made her easy to sympathize with and her story has some truly heart wrenching moments. Golden Time was such a hit, purely thanks to her. 

SO ITS TIME FOR THE FINAL TWO, THIS DECISION WAS REALLY HARD, IN THE END I MADE MY FINAL TWO CHOICES BY LOOKING AT THEM OBJECTIVELY, RATHER THAN HAVING ANY BIAS. IN THE END THESE TWO ARE TOO PERFECT TO SEPARATE, SO IT CAME DOWN TO HOW GOOD THEIR RESPECTIVE STORIES WERE. WITH THAT IN MIND, LETS BEGIN :

NUMBER 2 
MISAKI AYUZAWA : ( KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA ) 

PERSONALITY : Misaki was initially hard to like, being a guy i found it hard to enjoy her “anti-male” point of view in the few early episodes. But it wasnt that i didnt understand her, in fact, she grows to learn that she held a misguided point of view and begins to show signs of growth in the form accepting her male students as peers and not enemies, but still has firm grip of things as student council president. This is the point were i began to fall for her, her innocent personality, her strong tsundere character and her strictness as student council president clicked for me, each was balanced perfectly in the right amounts to give her depth,likability, and make sure her character didnt do a complete 180. She even manages to beat some ass every now and then, and that just makes my attraction even stronger. The best thing about her though, is how she truly cares for those close to her, when it comes down to it, she even manages to overcome her shyness to still be there for others. She has a winning personality, which i would have loved to see come full circle, but unfortunately the anime ended permaturely and its unlikely we will ever see a sequel and since this list is anime only i cant consider her “manga version” ( the anime does have a satisfying end though so fear not ), but i cant help but feel that if she did come full circle in the anime, she would have had the number one spot. Well i guess it of to the manga to see how she continues to grow.

APPEARANCE :
 Misaki was designed perfectly, i cant and would never complain about how she looks. Everything from her hair to eyes to body to face, i can not find a single thing i would change. The fact that she spends 50% of her time in a maid outfit is another huge plus in her favour, i know this anime is marketed as shoujo ( anime aimed at the female audience ) but that didnt stop them form giving us guys something to enjoy.

LASTING IMPACT : 
You can tell by now but, i wont be forgetting Misaki any time soon, she has won her way into my heart and is gonna stay their a long time, she is the only character to ever make my want to read a shoujo manga. and im off to do just that. Looks like i got alot more Misaki to look forward to. 

FINALLY 

NUMBER 1 
KAORU TANAMACHI : ( AMAGAMI SS/ AMAGAMI PLUS ) 

PERSONALITY : Kaoru is so unbelievably lovable. Really she is, she has this ever present innocence about her that just makes everything she does adorable, this coupled with her tomboy attitude worked really well for me. At the begin of her arc she struggles to come to terms with falling in love with her best friend and begins to wonder if it okay to love a close friend, as the arc progresses we start to see her following her heart rather than her head, and this leads to some really funny and heartfelt moments. Its amazing how much her character grew in such few episodes and since she is one of only two characters in the series who has to win Junichi’s affection it added a nice pallet cleanser from watching Junichi try to win a girls affection. Kaoru also gets jealous and embarrassed really easily so it was nice to see her overcome these issues in order to be with the one she loved. She also has a kinky side(which i love) , which i wont spoil, its something you need to experience first hand. Considering Amagami SS is a Omni-Bus anime its incredible how well developed Kaoru was, out of all the girls i felt like she grew the most and thats s big feat, considering that if you combine both seasons of Amagami she has only six episodes to herself.But she till managed to win me over instantly. Perfect personality to a perfect character.

APPEARANCE :
Yet again i find myself so completely in love with her appearance. Intersting thing, i fell in love with Kauro even before her arc began, thats purely because when she popped up as Junichis friend, i fell in love with her character design, she has that beautiful medium short black hair and everything about her overall character design screams perfect, sure she was designed to be more of an average character when compared to the rest of the cast, but here is where i believe perfection lies in simplicity. Also a plus is that she has a super cute waitress outfit that she spends some time in and while we do get a few bikini shots, their isnt too much fan service from her end( except for one glorious scene), which i actually didnt mind at all, because i often find myself more attracted to characters if the arent constantly fumbling around with their clothing as if it was made of water. Honestly if someone came up to me and asked me to describe my idea of the perfect girl, hands down i would describe Kaoru, maybe just add some glasses for kinks sake. 

LASTING IMPACT : 
To be number one on this list and have had only 6 episodes dedicated to herself across 2 seasons should no doubt convey that Kaoru left the biggest impression on me from all the girls in this list. 
And while other characters stories would have benefited from greater lengths to their story, Kaoru came full circle is such a fulfilling manner that the only reason id ask for more episodes with her is just to have more episodes with her in them, its as simple as that, i want more Kaoru, not because she was incomplete, its just i want more. Everything about her was pure perfection from personality to appearance to voice, oh her voice, Satou Rina did one hell of an amazing job voicing Kaoru with hands down the cutest “Thank You” i have ever heard in my entire life. Really, it will melt your heart when you hear it. Ultimately i have no regrets about putting Kaoru as my number one, hell she broke the friendzone, sure she wasnt the only girl in the anime to do it, but she did it best, she saw what she wanted and did everything she could to get it. She was cute, sexy, funny, playful, serious,lovable ,shy,independent, strong, vulnerable, and thats why i loved her. 

Hope everyone enjoyed this list, be sure to check out all the anime ive mentioned if you already havent, really these girls deserve your time.
Ultimately this is my opinion and there is no real way to decide the universal number 1 anime girl. Hope you all enjoyed !!

Time to Say Goodbye from RWBY, Vol. 2 (feat. Casey Lee Williams)
Jeff Williams
Time to Say Goodbye from RWBY, Vol. 2 (feat. Casey Lee Williams)

Theres a point where it tips
Theres a point where it breaks
Theres a point where it bends
And a point we just can’t take
Anymore

Theres a line that we’ll cross
And there’s no return
Theres a time and a place
No bridges left to burn
Anymore

We can’t just wait with lives at stake
Until they think we’re ready
Our enemies are gathering
The storm is growing deadly

Now its time to say goodbye
To the things we loved
And the innocence of youth
How the time seemed to fly
From our carefree lives
And the solitude and peace we always knew

Theres a day when we’ll fight
And we’re not gonna fall
Theres a day when we’ll stand
And a day when we won’t crawl
Anymore

There’s a moment in time
And there’s no going back
When we’re pushed too hard
And we won’t hold our attack
Anymore

We can’t just cling to childish things
As evil just grows closer
Humanity’s in jeopardy
This fight is far from over

Now its time to say goodbye
To the things we loved
And the innocence of youth
With a doubt in our minds
Why we chose this life
And at times we can’t help wondering…

Were we born to fight and die?
Sacrificed for one huge lie?
Are we heroes keeping peace?
Or are we weapons?
Pointed at the enemy
So someone else can claim a victory?

Now its time to say goodbye
To the things we loved
And the innocence of youth
How the time seemed to fly
From our carefree lives
And the solitude and peace we always knew

Originally posted by pinkdaydreamzz

(Part One) (Part Two) Imagine since Steve finding out you still love him he has been thinking about you. Only Fury had offered you a job in England, where you would be helping some other hero’s over there, and its your last night and Tony is throwing a small party for you. 

A change of scenery is what you might need. A new place for a new life, well the same life but just in a new place, still Avenging but with new people and an entirely different country.

 Fury had offered the job to you, it took a couple hours for you to accept and this what you felt like you needed, to be away to start over and become yourself again. To become the person you once were before Steve. Tony was supportive the others were only just coming round to the idea, Steve hadn’t even spoken to you, you guessed he was supportive of it also. 

“I’m going to miss you” Tony hugs you, he had thrown a small leaving party for you, only the Avengers and the closest agents were here and it was very emotional. You hugged back just as tightly, without Tony you wouldn’t have gotten through this, he truly had become your best friend and that was thanks to Steve.

“Now, call me whenever you can and I’ll make sure to come over there and visit” you nodded, Tony wasn’t crier but he seemed pretty upset to see you leaving. Thor hugged you and wished you luck, mentioning that Jane’s work usually brings her to England, so you should be seeing him soon anyway. 

“Do you really have to go?” Natasha and Wanda asked you nodded “I’m going to kill Steve for pushing you away like this” she mutters, Wanda hugging you, you giggled.

“I want this,” you tell her “I need this, it’s scary and new but it’s right, besides I’ll see you both soon” you hug Natasha and she doesn’t let go for a few minutes. 

Clint wasn’t much of a hugger but he wished you well with a pat on the back, stating that his poker buddy would be gone, Bruce gave you an awkward hug but each goodbye made you cry still- they had all become family and it was difficult to leave them behind. Saying goodbye to a few more faces; Sam, Pepper, Maria and Fury, you decided to call it a night and leave on your floor for the last sleep here.

*
“(Y/N)” you stopped, your heart rate increasing in speed, you turn to see the person you dreaded the most… Steve Rogers. You were walking to the jet that would be taking you to England, how Steve found out about your taking off location you didn’t know, you hoped to avoid him altogether. 

“Everyone get’s a goodbye but me?” he asked, hurt and offended by you “what I mean nothing to you now? After everything I expected at least a farewell hand-shake, this is low even for you” he tells you, your heart clenched but the anger swelled inside you. 

“You think I don’t care about you?” You asked in disbelief and he nods slowly, both knowing that is untrue “I cannot believe after five years you do not know one thing about me” you say in utter-shock, tears threatening to spill over your eyes as you look up at him. 

“Then why didn’t you say something? Why does everyone get a goodbye but me?” he asked, hurt also evident in his eyes as he looks at you.

“Because its too damn hard. When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes not want to go” he looked down as tears fell down your cheeks “so, if you think I didn’t say goodbye to you because you don’t mean as much as everybody else, you’re wrong. Its because you mean more to me. So there, alright. There’s your goodbye” you sniff and wipe the tears.

“I don’t want you to leave, is that selfish of me?” he asked, you nod and he sighs, tears of his own falling down his face as he looks at you.

“You’ve been selfish without even realising it, Steve,” you tell him, holding back the tears “don’t make this harder for me, please. For once allow me to be selfish; for me to leave you, for me to move on from you and be happy at last” he nods slowly with a forced smile “look after them all, and yourself” you hug him quickly “now I’m going to walk away, I’m not going to turn around, that doesn’t mean I don’t love or care for you… just, if I turn I might not want to leave and I need to” he nods slowly. 

You turn and walk to the jet, giving the man the nod to go, you climb the stairs and pause at the door but walk through them and sit on the far side away from the windows that show Steve. 

(SURPRISE! I LIED TO ALL OF YOU. Credit to F.R.I.E.N.D.S for Rachel’s speech to Ross, that always makes me cry, also… I lied this isn’t the last part I just wanted to say it was. Part 4 is kind of a bonus, like I might not even upload it and leave it for whatever ending you want, like if you want them to go their own way or you can imagine you got off the plane like Rachel did. I’m iffy about uploading part 4! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this mini-imagine series, one of my series is turning into a one-shot the 40′s Bucky one. Hope you liked this.) 

Thank You, Taylor Swift (T.Swizzle pt. 2)

Request: THE TAYLOR ONE IM LAUGHING SO MUCH OMG PLEASE DO A PART 2 WHERE THE READER BUYS SPENCER SPEAK NOW AND ITS LIKE ‘YO THIS IS THE REAL SHIT’ pls

 A/N: I didn’t quite know how to do this so I hope this is good enough!! <3 <3

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Victoria Sponge Cake - Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction (Candi Peel/Master Baker Series)

This is my sweet treat submission for teasing-tales-tuesday with this week’s theme being ‘confectioners’
As i had already started my ‘Candi Peel - Master Baker’ Series with a Chris Evans oneshot (found HERE) i thought it was time to expand the series and took the prompt to write some Tom based cake fluff! This is fluff and will be continued for a smutty conclusion!

No real triggers here.
Rated PG-13
2000 words

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Candice looked around the small bakery and smiled to herself. In the recent months since her cooking show zoomed to the top of the viewing figures chart she life had snowballed. The cookery book she’d released to go alongside her show had just sold its second millionth copy, and she was now a much sought after celebrity herself with spots oh Ellen, Oprah in the USA and guest appearances on Graham Norton and Alan Carr’s chat shows in the UK. The producers liked her flirty interview techniques even when she was the one being interviewed, and with a rather special appearance on Grahams show alongside some of the cast of the latest Marvel movie, she soon had most of the internet - especially Tumblr - speculating on who she was dating, who she should date, and to her amusement, now including her in some delightful fanfiction stories with various male (and sometimes female) celebrities.

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Sanji and Luffy

I could be wrong on this or people can disagree, it’s just my opnion. But I’m going to say it anyway.

Sanji was the hardest member Luffy had to convince to join the crew. Here are my thoughts as to why and how Ingot that conclustion.

1.) Sanji had said no from the get go and even said no after the fight with Don Kreig.

You may say “well all the SHs or most of the SHs had said no at first. Granted this is true. But Sanji was still the only one to say no even after a big fight.

I mean each crew member (Zoro, Nami, Chopper and Franky) all had aone hesitent but they didn’t take long to accept it.

Yet Sanji Sanji needed.time to think about it. He down right refused Luffy. Even after Luffy saved the resturant he had said no. It wasn’t until he realized that it was time to go did he accept to go. At the last minut too. Luffy was ready to leave. Then Sanji said "alright. I’m comming.” then Luffyngave Sanji time to pack and say goodbye. Dispite the need to get to Nami he gave Sanji time. Its hard to say how long of time but since Sanji packed a few things and even sat in a chair to process it could have been an hour at the most. And Luffy waited. He wasn’t his bouncy self and rushed it either. He gave Sanji space. Even waited while Sanji gave his heart felt cry. It was almost as if Luffy knew then Sanji was a bit different than the others. Granted he tried to force it, but then he accepted Sanji’s decission. Which I believe makes

Sanji joining the cew all that meaningful. Sanji could have still said no. Maybe even went on his own. He didn’t have to go with Luffy to get to the grandline. Yet he chose Luffy anyway. He gave Luffy the okay.

Where like Chopper, Zoro, and Franky he really didn’t give much of choice. He told Chopper to shut up he was comming. Franky he allowed Robin to squeez his balls and Zoro he gave an altamtum. “I’ll get you your swords you join my crew.” of course there was more too it then that, Luffy did save them all from something. But Sanji was the only one who said no after being saved. Luffy didn’t exspect Sanji to say no. He was genually surprised but pleased.

I think that in itself made the bond between them rather strong.

I’m not saying Sanji is the closest to Luffy. I’m saying it’s a possibilty their bond is stronger?

I get that a lot of people would argue that Zoro and Luffy have a stronger bonde. Thay could be true. I agree that Zoro is loyal to a fault.

Some say Nami may have a stronger bond with Luffy. Which can also be true.

I also liek to think that Luffy’s bond with the SHs are in equal messure.


But I this feeling especially after chapter 844 that Luffy just might have a stronger bond with Sanji then the others?

I mean throughout the series, Luffy told every single enemy He was going to be the Pirate King. He did not once say he couldn’t be. This is the first time we see this.

Now of you think of it. Sanji is the ships cook. He is not wrong to say he can be replaced back in thriller bark. A cook is important yes. They will need Sanji. There is no mistake. But they can replace him if it were the case. A doctor should know enough about nutrients to get the crew by long enough. Until they get a new cook. Not to mention Robin has spent a good bit of her time alone and Nami jas proven to be able to cook. They could probably get by.

But Luffy said He CAN’T continue without him. Trully why would he wajt to? Sanji is probably the best cook there. That right there is showing a strong connection there. He didn’t say that about Nami or Robin when he saved them. It would have been hard to continue without Nami. But he didn’t shout out to her. I can’t without you. No. And Robin sure they need her, how many people can read pylogriphs? Not many. And granted at the time he didn’t know that but he still didn’t shout he couldnt continur without her.

Now with Usopp he let Usopp leave. Usopp technically DID leave the group and had to be let back only after apologiesing. Thats what makes it different between Sanji and Usopp. Sanji still never said “I’m leaving the crew” jsut that I am staying with them (vinsmoke’s.) Dispite it all Luffy still said “I can’t continue without you.”

Why? Because he technically can. What is so special about Sanji? I can only assume the two share some sort of bonde together. I’m not saying its love. Obvously a frienship… But it leads me to believe that Sanji is Luffy’s most precious Nakama?

These are all just my ideas. I can probably go on about it but I fear its long enough. Haha

1.) I hope work is going alright for you. I hope the hours aren’t wearing you down too much. I hope the medicine is helping and I hope you’ve been sleeping better than I have.

2.) I know this was mutual but I’m starting to regret ever saying good bye. There hasn’t been a day I don’t think about you. Every time my phone buzzes, a part of me is praying it is you. And a part of me hopes it isn’t because I’m scared of what this could’ve been. We could’ve been perfect for each other, I know that. But the truth is I am a mess. And I didn’t want to drag you down with me. The truth is commitment is terrifying to me. And I know you deserve better than what I can give.

3.) She better know how lucky she is. She better fucking know. She better treat you right.

4.) Do you still check my blog? If you do then you’ll read this sooner than later. I miss you, I am miserable and I miss you. I miss waking up to good morning messages, I miss someone calling me beautiful and me actually believing it.

5.) You cared so much for me, I know you did. I don’t doubt this. I told you that night I’m not mad at you and don’t worry because I’m still not mad at you. I’m mad at myself because if I could just be normal about one fucking thing in my life then maybe we could’ve worked.

6.) You want the truth? One night I tried to forget you. I was desperate. I thought maybe I could move on. I was wrong. As of right now there is just such an emptiness in me. You filled that void but now that we aren’t talking, I am lost. (Don’t feel guilty. It is no ones fault.)

7.) My chest is caving in when I think about what goodbye means. I told you everything, I trusted you, I love you, and it got too messy for reasons only we know about. I doubt you’ll come back to me. But goodbye is final, and I told you once before how scary that is for me. Forever is the rest of my life. How can I go that long without you. How.

8.) Its almost midnight and this is sloppy. This isn’t meant for anyone’s eyes but his - so no one else may find this relatable and that’s okay.

9.) And this part is for him - I’m sinking and searching for you in other people. It hasn’t worked so far and I don’t think it will. Don’t feel guilty. I just need you to know that this hurts. I need you to know how much you matter to me. I need you to know that this wasn’t just some dumb fling. I fell so hard. So fast. That’s part of who I am, you know that. Everything is intense. I am too scared to be in a relationship for many reasons but I don’t know if I can forgive myself for letting you go. I know its only been a week since we said goodbye but I really haven’t been sleeping well. I haven’t been coping well. I miss your sweet words. I miss all of you. This is pointless I know. But I needed to say all this and this was the only way I knew how with out directly messaging you. I’m so sorry because I know you’re hurting too. I’m so sorry. Please do not hate me. And for whatever reason if you decode to come back, I’ll be here waiting.

—  For him