its too big to talk to school

anonymous asked:

Playing an addict is overrated. Its not attractive at all. You're ruining a pretty face with a horrible act.

I’m not playing Alice for you. I’m playing Alice for myself. If you don’t like it - you don’t have to interact with me. Hogwarts is a big enough school that not everyone will talk to everyone. If you’re someone i’m plotting with - message me and we can change the topic of the plot - but Alice is an addict. She will always be one. Even when she gets sober, which I have plotted for her in the future. But ‘once you’re an addict you’re always an addict’ because those feelings don’t go away. You still crave the substance you were addicted too. 

I know its not an attractive trait. I didn’t plan on it being an attractive trait - but Alice is flawed. She’s damaged from years of emotional abuse from her mothers side of her family. She has the death of her mother hanging over her head as she was told that it was her fault. She sees it as her fault. I didn’t want to play her as the overly whiny character who just wants everyone’s attention - so I played her as an addict. Someone who turned to substances to numb the pain that she felt after the loss of her mother rather than turning to anyone who would pay attention to her. Marcus is the only one that knows her entire story and that she will go to for the attention and affection needed to start to heal. 

I ruined a pretty face? I love Taylor as much as the next person - but have you seen some of her music videos? More so ‘My Medicine’ Taylor looks high as hell in the video. Its where I got my addict idea actually. I don’t know much about drugs as i’ve been reading up on the main ‘potions’ she does. (LSD, Mushrooms, Molly). I don’t think i’m ruining Taylor’s face just because i’m playing her as an addict. Everyone plays their face claim differently and if you don’t like it - oh well. I’m not changing it to please anyone. 

I’ve been a member of this roleplay for I think five days now. Alice isn’t going to have a redemption arc until later on. I don’t want her to give up her drugs right away and become the perfect little girl. I find the ‘perfect little girl’ status to be extremely overrated - more so than the addict label. I feel this is true because I actually feel like I play her withdraws and her highs correctly. If you read Alice’s backstory - while it is partly generic it has depth to it on different levels. Alice lost her mother to something that she could of prevented. She was forced to go and live with a father that only came around when it came time to buy her things for Hogwarts. He never even sent her birthday cards. Now she’s forced to live with this person who she doesn’t even know, while he is trying to shove seventeen years of neglect down her throat with gifts. Alice remains on drugs because she feels her fathers feelings are fake - that he’s just trying to seem like the ‘cool dad’ to make up for all the times that he should of been there. I have an arc for that too - but obviously I haven’t been here long - she’s not going to accept that her father does love her and the reason he had to stay away. 

Long story short. If you don’t like it - get over it. I’m not playing the character for you. I’m not playing it for anyone in the rp. I’m playing it for myself. This is the first character that I haven’t poured my entire self into. She’s not a copy of me. I don’t struggle with addiction. My parents are happily married to this day. The only thing that is remotely similar is I don’t have a good relationship with my father, but thats because i’m a total momma’s girl since my dad worked so many hours when I was younger to give me anything I wanted. I’m playing Alice as someone who is deeply flawed and scarred but has a loving, sweet person under all the layers that turn people away from her. If you look at my threads with Marcus - Alice is a completely different person. She still has her withdraws but he’s someone she feels like she doesn’t have to be high around. He’s someone that she enjoys being around and is genuinely nice too. Pay attention to those threads - because that is the Alice that is real. That is who she is when she isn’t on drugs. That’s the person she was before her mothers passing. 

Alice didn’t become and addict just because - she became one because she lost the one person that was there for her that didn’t judge her. She lost not only her mother - but she lost her rock, her best friend, her safety blanket. Alice has it hard as a half blood because her mothers side of the family hates magic and her father was never around until her passing. She feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere. 

If you’ve stayed around for this entire explanation/rant - I thank you. I have good things in store for Alice. She has redemption coming, there are explanations for her behavior. Just give it time and let the pieces fall where they do on when these arc’s will come. You can’t force them. If I forced them I might as well made her a Mary Sue that was perfect from the start. Like everyone else here - my character suffers from something. They all have something to hide - I feel like I’m playing Alice as a real person - with real emotions and reactions to what happened to her.