its so in focus

Dean barely notices when Sam runs into the house to investigate the nephilim situation. His eyes dart this way and that, taking in the tattered, broken wingspan spread out before him.

All of the times that he lost Cas, he never saw his wings. Not once. And it feels so…final.

Dean’s lips tremble as he casts his gaze upwards towards where he knows heaven is watching. He wonders if the angels care. He wonders if God cares.

He knows Chuck probably isn’t even in heaven, and maybe he has his ears turned off while he’s having the family meeting to end all family meetings with Amara, but he tries anyway. He wants to beg, bargain, and scream, but he’s not sure he can speak. He sends up a plea, his lips mouthing silent prayers.

The air is still. Too still. Deathly still.

Dean squeezes his eyes shut and slumps down to the ground. He bows his head down, but he can’t yet bear to look. Not yet. Not again.

He breathes, and it feels like a monumental effort. He is hyper aware of being alive, of his lungs filling with oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide, and suddenly he thinks he might understand why yoga helps to clear the mind. Maybe he’ll take it up. He could do with a nice, clear mind after…after…

He opens his eyes. Cas is there, but he isn’t.

Dean swallows against the burning lump in his throat as he reaches a hand out. Hand touches hand. One is cold.

Dean stares at the eyes and wills them to open as he curls his fingers around the still, cold hand. And finally, after much effort, he finds that he can speak.

“Please,” Dean pleads, his voice smaller than he thinks it has ever been. “Please. Cas. I need you.”

No. That’s not right. That’s not enough.

“I love you.”

Too late. He says it, finally, after all of these years, and it falls on deaf ears. Ears that will never hear those words.

Dean’s eyes sting. “Come back. Like you always do.” His voice cracks. “I love you. I love you. I love you. Please come back.”

The world is still. Too still.

He’s not coming back this time.

Dean folds himself over Cas’s body and finally allows himself to break.

My country is celebrating 100 years of independence this year and we are also achieving marriage equality on the 1st of March. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our achievements as a nation than celebrating equality and human rights. Congratulations, Finland, may there be many more victories such as this and may your freedom last a thousand years!

(yes, the Finnish flag appears backwards because she’s waving it around)

8
So I saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Lots of thoughts bouncing around. Some spoiler free thoughts:

  • Loved it. 
  • Gamora has a much more….consistent/fleshed out personality in this one? I love it.
  • That’s actually true of basically all the characters. Especially Drax and Gamora. 
  • Rocket steals the show. And other things he should not steal. 
  • Also Nebula. Nebula was WAY more interesting and dynamic. 
  • Really strong theme development and BEAUTIFUL color palette. DC, takes notes.
  • If I have one major complaint with the film, its that it has too many antagonistic forces, so the focus gets split. Lesson: Never more than 2 antagonists. Any more than 2 and things get dicey. 
  • Groot is so cute and the movie is very very aware of this. 
  • Mantis is very likable. 
  • Holy shit, 3 named female characters, each with their own minor character arc not directly tied to romance in the film? MARVEL STUDIOS, YOU SPOIL ME. 
  • Stay until the very very end of the credits. There’s like 5 stingers. 

happy (late) birthday @pixlokita!!! 

another part for the baby shinichi au, this time with ‘ellery’ making himself a nightmare for haibara to look after so she’ll hurry up with her antidote. this is probably right after she tells him he’s better this way because at least now he can’t run off and reveal his identity to people (plus he’s still ticked off about hattori being the one to name him after his favourite writer, how dare she allow that to happen)

bonus:

acomaf vs acowar

people who keep saying acowar was trash compared to acomaf…. let me tell ya something… acowar and acomaf are two different books with two different purposes. acomaf was a character driven book. the whole purpose of it was for character arcs and development. it was supposed to be a bridge for something to come. rhysand and feyre’s relationship drove the book, which made it so enjoyable. acowar was a plot driven book. its whole focus was on the war with hybern. the entire point of the book was to find a solution. the WAR drives the book. and for a book focused on war, it was pretty darn good. of course acomaf was better than acowar in the character sense, but the characters were already developed in acowar. acowar needed to be plot driven if anything was gonna get done in this world.

2

LGBT+ books: Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

“I think everyone’s a bit bored with boy-girl romances anyway,” he said. “I think the world’s had enough of those, to be honest.”

2

reigens stage partners:

- a dove, father of six with a stable income;
- an old rat who likes soaps and eats raisin
- two espers

8

David Tennant Don Juan in Soho Stagedoor 18th March 2017 

reference sheet i made for my designs of the boys!

8

you gotta keep on keeping on