im so conflicted about daveed diggs bc sometimes when i see a photo of him im like “yes. that is my son. he is smol and wonderful and needs to be protected” and tHEN MY DUDES, HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF AND IM JUST ????????????
I am beginning to run out of ways to say “I love you” strong enough to let you know I mean it. It was past 10 o'clock and we had already said goodnight when I dialed your number with shaking fingers, ran into the parking lot and told you to meet me when I said I loved you for the first time.
My dear, I have already fallen in love with you, but words are so restraining I cannot tell you what exactly I’m falling into this time– but I have not yet left the clouds since I got here.
How can I deal with insecurity? It's becoming a problem in my daily life & seriously affecting my relationship..
Insecurity isn’t really different from uncertainty. However, when you are insecure, of what are you uncertain?
Insecurity is not healed by means of security. Insecurity boils down to uncertainty of identity.
Our happiness, love, and freedom are indelible qualities of our real nature. This is why we naturally move toward and seek those things.
If we seek those qualities externally, we either become insecure about losing them or anxious about securing them or some mix of the two. When we awaken to those immediate qualities within, there is peace.
This is the meaning behind the Buddha’s statement: It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Your real nature does not need to be attained or sought after. It is enough to stop seeking yourself where you are not. Because love, freedom, and happiness are only the formless radiance of your being, you cannot “get” them elsewhere. As a result, you cannot lose them either!
Those forms of happiness which seem to come from elsewhere are subject to the impermanence of the circumstances that allowed them. Be it a relationship, a life situation, a job, or whatever. The happiness is only ever your radiant Being yet the confusion as to the place from which it comes is what makes insecurity possible.
When we start externalizing our experience of and search for happiness, freedom, and love, we also externalize our identity. We invariably derive a sense of self from that which we regard as the source of our happiness. If that source is threatened, we feel threatened, our identity feels threatened.
Whenever you feel insecure, don’t run away from it. Don’t try to drown it with security or attempts to affirm security through other people. Instead, investigate it. What makes this feeling possible?
The practice of tonglen helps to cultivate a presence of mind to stay with the feelings we would rather get rid of while instead meeting those feelings with spaciousness, ease, and compassion.
A great book with which to begin is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.