Stormy Nights & Hateful Fights || Byun Baekhyun
Word Count: 1,843
Byun Baekhyun + Reader + Angst
A/N: Woah I got carried away when writing this.. I actually wanted to punch myself when I reread this why why why. Well… Enjoy!
The rain outside grew stronger as the night grew darker. The coffee on your table remained untouched, getting colder as time passes by. Although at a time like this, you didn’t need caffeine in your system to wake up. Worrying about Baekhyun does its job well in keeping you up late at night.
The small hand on the clock points at 2, 2 in the morning. Baekhyun still wasn’t home. You were worried about him driving home alone this late at night, not to mention the heavy rain and wet concrete. You didn’t want to think negatively, but in this type of situation, who wouldn’t?
Despite all your worrying, you knew where he was. He may be at a different place right now, but he is always with the same person. Taeyeon. It was always her.
You don’t want to feel even a hint of jealousy. You knew about their collaboration and it made you so proud and happy for Baekhyun. This project can be another door to his success; to gain more popularity and opportunities. He was so close to achieving everything he wanted and you were so happy.
You don’t want to feel even a hint of jealousy but here you are sitting alone in your dark living room, anticipating for your boyfriend’s return.
Yes, you were anticipating if he will even return home. Most nights, you’ll get a short text message from him saying he’ll be staying at a friend’s house or a hotel near their office. As much as you want to believe him, you knew where he was. It was always with her.
No, he wasn’t cheating. Well.. at least that’s what you want to think.
When you met Baekhyun, he was broken. Broken by the same person he’s with right now. But even though he had a damaged heart that was thought to never love again, you healed him. You gave all of your love in hopes for him to change and be happy again, this time with you in the picture. And you did. 2 years later, your relationship with Baekhyun is stronger than ever.
But why do you feel this way? Why are you being this way?
You’ve always thought trust and faithfulness are the most important in a relationship. But why do you feel like the two of you are lacking one of each? Can’t you trust him? Is he being faithful?
Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of the front door creaking open, showing no other than Byun Baekhyun.
His clothes were wet from the rain, small droplets of water were dripping from his hair, his shivers were visible. You quickly jumped up from your seat to grab a towel before putting it carefully around your boyfriend. You sat him down on a wooden chair that you pulled near to the front door (you didn’t want the carpet to get wet, but that’s not the case, is it?)
Grabbing him a new set of clothes from your shared room, you gave him a few minutes to change, taking the time to make him a cup of hot chocolate to warm him up from his shivering state.
He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later to be greeted by a plate of cookies and his warm beverage. He quietly ate and drank while you sat across him, waiting for an explanation that never came.
“This is the latest you’ve come home..“ you started. Your voice was low, almost like a whisper. You were cautious with your words, trying not to trigger him especially this late at night with his tired body. You waited for a reply. Baekhyun lifted the cup to his mouth, drinking the liquid. You don’t even remember if he have looked you in the eye right from when he arrived home. He hasn’t voiced a single word. He felt cold like the weather.
When did your relationship take a huge turn? It used to be full of sunshine. Butterfly kisses in bed, back hugs in the kitchen, laughter in the rain, and just plain love. It felt like the Baekhyun you knew suddenly had a drastic change, like a button was suddenly pressed and turned him into someone you don’t know. When you look at Baekhyun, you see him; his physical state. But his eyes looked empty. The ones that were filled with with deep affection changed into something dark and empty. You used to fall for the dark abyss inside his gaze only to be caught by his tenderness, but this dark abyss you see right now is nothing but emptiness that let you fall continuously, hoping for something to land on. This whole relationship was empty but you refused to believe it. You kept on filling the emptiness with your own endearment thinking it will help recover the once passionate relationship. But it only caused you to feel distressed, consuming your energy, and soon collapsing on the shallow emotions of Byun Baekhyun. You were desperate for him to save you.
His silence was testing you. Your once soft physique turning into desolation.
“Baekhyun, I need an explanation on why you’re acting up like this.“ your voice grew loud and stern, surprising Baekhyun. His head raised, his eyes finally falling on your own.
“What explanation? You know damn well I’m busy with work.“ he answered. He leaned back on his chair with his arms folded to his chest.
“This is the first time you went home in weeks and it’s 2 in the morning! You can’t give me a proper explanation on why you can’t even give your girlfriend a call and ask if she’s still breathing or some shit?“ you fired back. Your chair was pushed back when you stood up to tower Baekhyun. The rain fell hard on the rooftop, but your cries were louder in desperation.
“What do you want me to do?! Reject the opportunity standing in front of me just for you? For your selfishness?” Baekhyun stood up immediately, startling you. A few steps back were taken by you. His height making you feel small under his glare.
“Selfishness? Is a little attention coming from my own boyfriend selfishness?!“
“I come home after a long time and you greet me with your distasteful complaints.“ He turned around and walked away.
“Damn right I’m complaining. You don’t even treat me as a girlfriend anymore. I’m a mere decoration in this house or just for your convenience.“ you replied, following him to the living room. You saw him take his still soaked jacket on the couch and started walking to the front door. You stopped dead on your tracks at his actions.
“You’re leaving again?“ you whimpered. Tears threatened to leave your eyes, your lips quivered, your heart sunk. It’s only been an hour since Baekhyun’s arrival, an hour filled with screaming and hatred, and now he’s leaving once again.
“Taeyeon was never like this. Why can’t you be more like her?“ Baekhyun whispered.
“Wha-what?“ you were taken aback. You were contemplating whether you heard it wrong and that all of your emotions are causing you to hear something else. But as soon as Baekhyun turned around, looking at you with wide surprised eyes you knew you heard it right. Looking at Baekhyun, you knew he was as shocked as you are.
“Taeyeon? After all these years, it’s still Taeyeon?“ a sob escaped your trembling lips.
“No.. No no no no.“ Baekhyun shook his head nervously trying to get a hold of your hand. His expression turned into guilt and hurt when you took a step back away from his grasp. He took another step towards you, but you mirrored his step until you started to walk away.
“(Y/n) please. That’s not what I meant-“
“Not what you meant?! That Taeyeon will always be the one who’s holding your heart? That I am nothing but a rebound?“ you screamed at him. Tears are now streaming down your face. Baekhyun stood in the middle of the room, looking at you with pained eyes. You felt mentally and physically tired. You wanted everything to stop, you needed to rest. But you can’t rest like this. You can’t rest when every time Baekhyun leaves, you can’t help but think and worry where he was and if he was planning on coming home; home in your embrace. You can’t rest when you are constantly giving your all in order for this relationship to work when it was clear that the fire that once burned bright started to die down into a faint spark. The spark that was left in your relationship supposed to motivate you, thinking there is still a chance for it to burn bright again. But the spark did nothing but harm you whenever you tried to touch it, to heal it. You aren’t supposed to be alone, you needed Baekhyun to endure the pain.
“No, you’re not that. Please, believe me. I love you, please.“ Baekhyun pleaded. He finally took a hold of your arm, his body slowly dropping to the ground, his arms around your waist and his head pressed against your stomach. “I didn’t mean it. I love you. I need you. Please, please I’m sorry.“
“If you love me, why are you hurting me like this.. You can’t say you love me when everyday you leave me anxious for your return.. You can’t say you love me when I’m the one that needed saving but I’m the one trying to save the both of us.“ your hand landed on Baekhyun’s arm that was wrapped around you, trying to break away from his hold but he he only held tighter like his life depended on it. His apologies were muffled by his cries, your shirt becoming damp with his tears.
“I’m sorry. I’ll change.. I’ll be better. Please, just don’t leave.. I can’t- I can’t do it if you leave. I can’t be happy.”
As much as you want to refuse and ignore his plea, as much as you wanted to turn around and leave to finally rest, you didn’t have the heart to do so. Because you knew, that when you leave, everything will change. You knew the ‘rest’ you wanted wouldn’t arrive. Those sleepless nights would still be there knowing Baekhyun will never come home to sleep next to you. Those worrying will be endless knowing you will never hear from Baekhyun ever again. Your rest was impossible. The only moment you can rest is when Baekhyun can finally save you. And you’d do anything for that moment. The moment to stay.
“I’ll change, (Y/n). For you, for us. Just don’t leave me. I love you so much.“
The rain outside started to quiet down.The only sound that can be heard was your heavy breathing and Baekhyun’s cries. Your eyes shut close as soon as your fingers entwined with his soft hair.
“Let’s try again.. For us..”
Being tired didn’t matter anymore. For as long as Byun Baekhyun is there to mend you at the end of the day.