Not gonna lie, sometimes I really wonder how the Murphys’ didn’t realize Evan was lying sooner. Of course, that wouldn’t help the plot, but it seems pretty early on that Jared and Evan are writing rehab into the emails, and to some unknown extent, are writing about Connor’s experience there. I am sure we all assume that Connor has been to rehab (though not technically confirmed, Cynthia does mention it and as Connor’s classmates, Jared and Evan probably would have heard about it at some point, explaining why they’d bring it up in the emails). But, as I’ve seen other people mention on here, Cynthia says that she ‘fought for rehab’, not that he actually ever went. Though we can’t actually be sure that Jared and Evan ever included the reference to rehab,, because it was the whole ‘sucking dick for meth’ bit which obviously got deleted, and therefore, the mention of rehab as a whole could have gone too.
Arguing that Connor did go and they did bring it up in the emails, I do question how two boys who have never been to rehab could have written about the experience even remotely accurately. Plus, there are so many specifics that could have so easily gone wrong. How long was he in rehab for? How did they get those days right? Even if he missed school for quite a while, surely he wasn’t at rehab that whole time? There would have HAD to have been days where he was just at home. So for Evan and Jared to get the timeline even remotely close, seems pretty impressive to me.
Which leads me to what I’ve been thinking about for a while. Evan is a watcher. An observer. He knows about Zoe filling out quizzes in magazines and how she dances because, for Evan’s entire life, he’s sat on the sidelines. You can argue that he only noticed this stuff because he liked Zoe - but I wouldn’t reduce him to that. When you have no one to talk to, you fill the void by placing yourself into other people’s conversations, and eventually other people’s lives. Also known as Evan worming his way into the Murphys’ lives. I would argue that Evan did this long, long before we ever saw it.
Evan was injecting himself into Zoe’s life long before the narrative began. And so was he, with Connor. Even if we say that Evan didn’t have any reason to want to know more about Connor, he would have ended up doing so just because of Zoe. How do you get to know someone? You get to know the people around them. Plus, Connor and Zoe going to and from school together would have been something Evan noticed. He would have noticed Zoe at the jazz band concert, and he would have noticed how her brother didn’t show. He would have noticed when Zoe came to school alone for a while and wondered where Connor could be. Evan would have seen these things, and I like to think that sometimes Evan would have wondered who Connor was.
That’s why I think Evan was so good at writing the letters. Sure, he was projecting himself onto Connor. You can’t get to know someone just by watching them. We see this with how Evan and Zoe play out. But, I think Evan spent quite a while catching glimpses of Connor and that wove itself into the letters. Of course, Evan’s not perfect at it. Alana notices that things aren’t making sense, which just drives home that despite Evan watching Connor for who knows how long, watching someone doesn’t equal knowing someone. Regardless of how much Evan thought he knew, at the end of the day, he could never know enough.
I guess that’s why the letters worked so well and then failed so badly. Evan knew the big things, the moments like rehab, printer throwing, getting high, going to school with Zoe, that Connor was alone. Things that the Murphys also knew about Connor. But Evan, just like the Murphys, didn’t know the details. He didn’t know what Connor wanted to do after high school, or his favourite colour, or his favourite song, because he didn’t actually know Connor. Just like how, despite their best attempts, the Murphys didn’t either. So it worked for a while. Until Evan had to keep projecting himself into the letters, because the big things were becoming too small, and the small too big. Until things were crumbling and Evan couldn’t keep up anymore. All of that just makes me that much sadder. That Evan and Connor could have been so close for so long, so present in each other’s lives, and yet somehow never quite meet. And doesn’t that make the whole computer lab scene even worse? That Connor was telling Evan, ‘now we can pretend we both have friends’, and for a moment, maybe Evan thought it could have been possible. Maybe he thought that Connor, just like Evan, had been watching too.
Sincerely Three x Comedian!Reader who writes music
Okay this boy is a meme so once he’d find out you’re a comedian
He would lose his shit
But you writing music tOO? Pump the fuckin breaks
I feel like he’d find out by barging in on you during a writing session
You wouldn’t have your phone near by Bc you’re working like an adult and Jared would be texting you a million times, like a child, asking you to hang out
“I just found my old Nintendo 64. Get ready to get your ass super smashed”
“That sounds dirty and I stand by it completely”
“Fuck it, I’m coming over. I hope you’re not naked.”
“Actually….that would be farthest from the worst thing…”
So you’d be pluckin away at your keyboard and chuckling at some of your own jokes when
Jared bursts in the door, Nintendo 64 in one arm and and handful of games in the other
“You didn’t answer your phone so I just ca-what are you doing?”
“Are you playing pIANO? YOU CAN PLAY PIANO?”
You blush a little (which he secretly melts at because your cheeks get all red and I stand by the fact that Jared would love his S.O’s cheeks? Anyways..) and tell him
“I was writing some songs for a comedy show I want to do…I don’t know I was just trying some stuff out I guess”
“Can you play it for me?”
“I’m not going to have a choice am I?”
“No, no you will not”
He would get the bIGGEST smile on his face
The big goofy Jared smile
“So you’re like….Bo Burnham…”
“I mean I guess so, but ya know one comedian is different from the other it all comes down to perspective and it’s ju-”
“No no you’re better than Bo Burnham”
He’s your biggest hype man
“You’re the only person I know who’s funnier than me, Y/N”
He. Would. Tell. Everyone.
He would be so proud to tell everyone that his S.O is the “King/Queen of Joke Songs.”
Connor would’ve met you at one of your comedy performances.
Jared decided he wanted to try stand up comedy and dragged Evan and Connor along to watch.
He would not be having any of it
“You’re gunna fucking blow it, Kleinman”
“I’m so glad you brought me here to watch you fucki-”
And you’d come on stage and Connor would instantly shut up
You went on and had everyone in sTITCHES, especially Connor.
Evan and Jared were looking at him like he was broken, they didn’t think he was capable of laughter?
You performed one of your favorite comedy songs you’d written about the patriarchy or something like that and Connor would be in love the second you said something like
“This next song is about everyone’s favorite societal tit punch: the patriarchy”
Connor hadn’t laughed like that in a long time
Surprisingly enough, Evan convinced him to talk to you after the show
(Jared sucked, but you gave him some pity laughs)
Connor would come up to you and he would be n e r v o u s
What if you thought he was a freak or just dismissed him like everyone else did
He’d tell you how he hadn’t laughed like that in a while and he really loved your sense of humor and point of view on things
Which sparked a lively discussion
You of course making Connor laugh through the whole thing
He would make you laugh quite a few times too
Connor is very clever and you’d admire that
You’d! Ask! Him! Out!
He would be shocked
“Wait fuck really?”
Okay now him w the comedy while you’re dating
You’d be the most important person in his life
You’d make him laugh when he’d think that he couldn’t even smile that day
He would be at every single one of your performances (and he would always bring you a flower)
Ok so I HC that Connor plays guitar sO
He’d help you write some of your stuff
“You could always write about how fucking hilariously awful jared’s set was”
You’d both laugh over that a LOT
The Murphy’s would really like you too Bc they’d notice connor’s mood change when you’re around
Connor would get annoyed when you’d come over and he’d just want to take you up to his room and talk and (fuck) cuddle n shit but his parents or his sister would constantly ask how your comedy is going
(Connor would love to cuddle don’t fight me on this)
You’d practice your show in front of him
He’d cry genuine tears of laughter
And he would at your show too even tho he’d already heard the jokes
This boy loves you so fucking much
This. Boy. Is. Your. Biggest. Fan.
You’ve known Evan for as long as you can remember and for as long as he can remember, you’ve been the funniest person he knows (Much to jared’s protests)
You and Evan would be up in his room on his bed watching Bo Burnham’s “What” and of course you were both laughing up a storm
Evan would be clutching his stomach and his lil nose would be scrunched up
And when Bo started playing “Repeat Stuff” you of course knew all the words
Evan would look at you and blush through his laughter Bc I mean you’re so cute and hilarious and he likes you a whole lot
After it was over Evan would look at you and Evan like
“Ya know, y/n. You-you could uhm you could do that”
“Do what Evan? Comedy?”
And he’d shake his head vigorously
“Y-yeah! Like uhm yeah like Bo Burnham! You uhm you h-have a really really good sense of humor and you have a really pretty voice and you know how to play pianosoitreallymakessenseforyoutobeacomedianand”
“Evan, Evan hey”
He would blush BC he was rambling again but his feelings for you make him flustered!
“You really think I could do this kind of stuff?”
So you’d try, Evan has always been your biggest supporter so you’d do anything for him
You started with a song first, thinking it would be easier than writing a whole bit
You’d be in jazz band with zoe so you got the piano on lock
You’d write your song about growing up with Evan or something funny about childhood
When it was done you’d immediately run to Evan’s house and show it to him
“W-will you sing it for me?”
Of course you would so you’d sing it for him and like clockwork, the nose scrunch
He would be laughing so adorably hard and his face would be all red
“I-I haven’t laughed that hard since you pantsed Jared in seventh grade”
You would be so grateful for Evan and him pushing you(in his own way) to pick up comedy
He would always be your #1 supporter and him and Heidi would always be at any performance you ever did because they love you. (But not as much as Evan loves you)
okay so these are rly quick but @nellos12 posted about how connor would absolutely be april ludgate which is amazing and completely tru and it made me realize that if connor is april then alana is for sure leslie knope,, like i have a thousand more leslie quotes that r perfect for her but these two were my fave
i have an eternal appreciation for Toby’s face in that last gif bc u can see the “oh god i was not prepared to have this revelation today i must go rethink my life because a lot of things are starting to make way more sense”
this is dumb af but imagine : mike taught stan how to swim!!!! because our stan the man is the air/bird(not literally) boy and was scared of water!!!can u give me some headcanons?
I LOVE THIS? SO MUCH? OH MY GOD?
(I gotta ignore canon for this one because Stan does know how to swim as shown in the movie when they go to the quarry! But I’ve been ignoring Stan and Eddie’s deaths in part two so I can ignore this as well :D)
♡ stan is incredibly self conscious about not knowing how to swim because all of his friends know how to. he secretly dreads going to the quarry with them simply because of this. he’ll still enter the water with all of his friends but once it reaches his waist he won’t go in any further.
♡ unfortunately one day richie pleads with him to participate in a game of shoulder wars with him, eddie, and mike to which stan reluctantly agrees on the condition that he gets to ride piggyback on mike’s shoulders.
♡ he goes the whole game being anxious but still managing to have a good time… at least until eddie knocks him off mike’s shoulders, sending him into nearly six feet of water.
♡ stan panics and flails like a mad man under the water until he feels the familiarity of mike’s arms around him. he’s pulled to the surface by the farm boy, gasping and shaking in both shock and fear much to his friends’ surprise. he clings to mike like a lifeline, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and even his legs around his waist.
♡ he realizes now that his cover is blown and he has never wished to sprout wings and fly away so badly in his entire life.
♡ “holy shit…” richie gasps. “stan the man…do you not know how to swim?”
♡ stan is completely MORTIFIED. his face gets all red and he can’t even look his friends in the eye as he admits that he never learned how to swim despite it seeming so easy and simple.
♡ he expects laughter after he explains himself but to his surprise it never comes. instead he’s met with a hand on his shoulder and a bright smile from mike who warmly states, “i can teach you.”
♡ stan couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he quickly nods more than eager to finally be able to swim like the rest of his friends.
♡ mike demonstrates for him and then instructs him to do the same but stays by his side the entire time, his hands underneath stan’s midsection just in case something goes wrong
♡ he helps him maneuver through the water but occasionally stan loses his footing or gets stuck in place and just PANICS.
♡ he screams and flails around despite mike and eddie assuring him a million times that they would never let him drown.
♡ “HELP! HELP!MIKE I’M GONNA DROWN!”
♡ “stan–STAN! stop that! you’re not gonna drown!”
♡ eventually he begins to get the hang of maneuvering himself and mike gradually stops helping and following him around the water
♡ soon stan is swimming all by himself in the water (as all the losers cheer and applaud him) and he grins triumphantly at mike before launching a hug at him and whispering his thanks.
♡ the grateful smile he gives mike is forever burned into the boy’s mind.