So here it is, here it FINALLY is, words can’t express how sorry I am for taking so long with this. I really did put a lot of work and thought into this, I tried really hard and even though it’s heavy stuff and it doesn’t have any smut, I hope you guys still like it. And I hope that my fellow black girls who read this maybe get some comfort out of it, because I wanted to write it to work out some of the issues I’ve been having about this stuff.
The N word is used once in this blurb, so a warning for that. And, I guess I should tell you guys that the little story ‘you’ tell is something that happened to me when I was young. So. Yes. You’re welcome to tell me what you think, I hope you like it, and it was worth the wait <3
“You alright, love?” Harry’s voice cuts through the thicket of heavy thoughts occupying your mind, and you blink as you turn to look at him from over the car console. “You’re a bit quiet.”
You can tell by looking in his eyes that he knows what’s on your mind, he knows that you’ve been bracing yourself for this dinner party for days. He knows you only agreed to come for him. He just wants to know that you’re okay underneath it all. He wants to know you don’t hate him for it.
“I’m fine, baby,” you say quietly, placing your hand on his arm where it’s outstretched towards the steering wheel. The shirt he’s wearing is a crisp, pristine white, just sheer enough to be his style, and for a moment you stare at the contrast between it and your dark skin. It only drives your anticipation higher.
It isn’t that you don’t like any his friends; Harry is a sweet, open, funny guy, and therefore he attracts many of the same. Through your time of knowing him there are many friends of his that you would go so far as to call friends of your own as well.
The host of this party, however, is not one of them.
From the moment you met Blake there was something about him you didn’t like, something smug and snivelling in his face that put you off. As with everyone that Harry introduces you to though, you figure there must be something there that Harry sees in him, and so you resolved to withhold judgment until you got to know him better.
Getting to know him didn’t help. He proved to be as pompous and obnoxious as you had initially suspected, his ignorance never stopping him from loudly voicing his uneducated opinions, his pathological need to prove himself right in all situations making it utterly exhausting and infuriating to hold any meaningful conversation with him. Thankfully, he was a very busy man and often out of town, meaning you didn’t have to constantly suffer his presence, but it didn’t make those rare occurrences any easier to get through.
Harry, for his part, knows you well enough that he was aware of your contempt for his friend before you told him outright, but it wasn’t very easy for him to understand. Your boyfriend is really very intelligent, so much so that it frustrates you to no end that he doesn’t get enough credit for it, but when it comes to racial matters, he’s very much out of his element. Dating you only flustered him more, seeing as before he was able to remain mostly oblivious, now, with it loud and blatant and in his face, he didn’t know how to react. When the racist comments towards you started flooding in on social media, when tabloids printed articles of the two of you with headlines about him having caught a case of ‘jungle fever’, you weren’t happy about it of course, but it was nothing you didn’t expect. Harry, on the other hand, nearly gave him a stroke over it.
So you never felt like it would do you any good to sit Harry down and tell him you didn’t like his friend because you can tell he harbors racist views; it would upset and confuse him and it was a conversation you didn’t want to have to weather through. You just hoped that nothing ever happened to force the matter.
Are there any specific lyrics or anything in the sharpest lives that make you think it's about Gerard getting clean? I really like this meaning, I'd never really thought about the song like that until you mentioned it
Oh man there’s heaps… I’ve never been drunk before in my life so I have no experience to draw on here, but in my mind this is what I think of it. Don’t kill me if I have the wrong idea - I just don’t have the first hand knowledge.
So he makes a few blatant references to drinking - in the first verse and the pre chorus (“I’m drunk I suppose” and “I’ve really been on a bender and it shows”), but I think the whole song kind of emulates the struggles of addictions and stuff. Like at the start he basically gives you the run down of his drinker life - he comes home late, crashes on the couch in his clothes because he’s tired from dancing all night and maybe he’s drunk etc etc. But the attitude in this, especially in “I’m drunk I suppose” is like he doesn’t really know, and doesn’t really care, he’s just going with. Same with “If it looks like I’m laughing I’m really just asking to leave, this alone”. To me it’s like he’s just dismissively laughing it off when people confront him about his addiction or try to intervene - Remember when Brian on LOTMS said intervention wasn’t working? “You’re the one that I need, I’m the one that you loathe” I think at least at some point drinking leads to crankiness right? I mean with hangovers and what not… And generally if you act cranky to people, they’ll act cranky back because your sudden un-called-for crankiness annoys them. Gerard needed his band mates and friends and other people, but in his out-of-it state it would have been easy for him to think that they started hating him because of the cranky. Here it’s like he’s realized he has a problem and that he needs help, but he doesn’t think he’ll get any because he thinks he’s loathed. “You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose ‘Cause I love all the poison Away with the boys in theband” Gerard did say in LOTMS that he felt that he needed to be drunk to be able to be Gerard on stage, to be able to perform… “I’ve really been on a bender and it shows” I don’t know about you, but I think this line is delicious in a musical sense too. It’s an admission of his problem, but what’s more - he knows it shows, which means can see how it’s affecting everything. And it’s just something about the way Gerard sings it and the actual succession of notes that he sings that says he knows his problem is bad. I also love how the guitars have that whole pitch bendy thing going on to go with it :3
In the chorus, it’s like there’s two options for him, and he’s torn between the two - facing it and actually getting clean - to kill the habits “A light to burn all the empires”, or giving up and allowing it to get worse and worse - which wouldn’t take much - “A kiss and I will surrender”. To rise or fall?
Then there’s the third verse. “There’s a place in the dark where the animals go You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow" I like to think he’s referring to that mentally altered state you’re in when you’re drunk, in this bit. Taking off your skin - is kind of like how some of your inhibitions are removed when you’re drunk. ”Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo“ On one hand getting drunk might be fun - gives you a high - whatever, but on the other hand he should stop and think about what he’s doing to himself… It’s like while he’s trying to get clean, the temptation to just go and drink and get loose is tugging at him and whispering persuasively in his ear about how fun it would be, and its hard for him to keep snapping himself out of it. Then the pre chorus and chorus come in, and it’s really too much for him to have to do this on his own.
Also, there’s that bit in the bridge of the song where the Mikey goes nuts and Ray starts playing D# s and then E s and there’s this casual choir in there. Now the choir is split in two and is singing one of those scales that I forgot the name of (you learn them in grade 1 piano I’m sure…) where one part goes up the C# minor scale and the other goes down the C# minor scale simultaneously ( of course The Sharpest Lives had to be in freaking c sharp minor :P ). I think it kind of emphasizes the whole alternate paths thing, - rise or fall.
Yeah… so that could have been briefer, but I suck at explaining things even though my parents are teachers. I apologize. It’s fuzzy in places but that’s half my interpretation of the song. (I’m sorry for answering late <3 )
When someones drinks out of a beaker during physics club - and the result is a conversation on if the beaker COULD HAVE been cleaned well enough to drink out of, never mind that we have no proof if it's really clean or not.
“The sound you’re hearing is sheer effort it’s taking to not call you every synonym of ‘idiot’.”