Okay, here’s the thing- I want Panto to flirt with Dirk, and I want Dirk to be flustered/flattered and seemingly enjoying the attention (even if he’s not actually into the guy). I want Todd to be absolutely certain that Dirk’s digging the hot bubblegum prince. And then I want the ‘AU fanfiction episode’ to be a musical (maybe Buffy style where no one can control what they’re singing), and I want Todd to burst into this:
And I want Dirk to be confused AF because a) who are you singing about I don’t fancy anyone?? and b) YOU fancy ME?!, and for Todd to be embarrassed and run away. And Dirk wanders round confused for a long, long time before bumping into Panto, who (having noticed that Dirk’s in love with Todd because it’s so obvious) bursts into the exact same song. Penny drops, Dirk politely turns down Panto and tracks down Todd, and he’s both nervous/delighted because OhGodOhGodToddLikesMe and also so fucking amused because really Todd? You thought I was interested in HIM? Do I have to hit you in the face with an ‘I like you’ brick?, and it’s really cute and awkward and they both know now and it’s sweet and they link fingers by the campfire, not making a big deal out of it or anything, and Dirk doesn’t think it’s the magic spell making him want to burst into song right at this moment.
Basically what I’m saying is don’t be fooled by all the Dirk/Panto headcanons I’ve been posting- I am still Brotzly Trash #1 and I am very much enjoying using this pretty new character as a shameless plot device in all my crackiest get-together headcanons and y’all can’t stop me.