its lenny

10

they need help (i need sleep)

@proinsiascassidy
2

I kinda like the idea of tres horny boys finding paintings of the adventure zone k/nights crew. With like, Taako and Merle looking up at Troth and Lenny with a weird feeling of kinship and approval, and Magnus looking at them all and just feeling a little stressed and confused and like, protective maybe and not knowing why. 

I Found - Leonard McCoy

Summary: Len is scared to lose any more people. based on the song i found by amber run

Prompt: bones imagine based on the song I Found by Amber Run? - @uhura-ny

Warnings: language, lil angsty

A/N: lil less than 2k words. one of my favorite people requested this piece. i was so happy when i finished writing it that i sent her 8 messages screaming about it. it’s a good piece, not exactly what was wanted, but i’m pretty satisfied with it! i obv had to add some jim to hold myself over. ENJOY and tell me what you think! 


A novice in the art of ignoring those on his mind, Leonard found it difficult to keep his mouth shut and in his most neutral scowl— especially when you were the one in question.

His palms were growing tired of his fingernails just as his teeth grew tired of being constantly gritted and he thought maybe his eyebrows would be stuck in a permanent furrow while his jaw would never come unclenched. He couldn’t stop, though.

He couldn’t just not dig his nails into his skin with enough force to draw blood— it kept him from reaching for you. It was compulsory that his teeth remained gritted with such strength— there was no chance any words meant for you could leave his lips that way. He absolutely needed to furrow his eyebrows, knit and screwed together— it prevented his eyes from softening for you.  And he knew there was no way he could ever unclench his aching jaw— it made sure to keep intact the slipping tension he so desperately needed to keep from sinking into you.

He didn’t dare forget about you, either. While he did his best to choke back the feelings that awoke for you just by the smell of your shampoo or the sound of your voice, he couldn’t afford to forget those feelings ever existed. They were a warning for him— a cautionary tale that laid before him the outcome of ever feeling that way again, the outcome of ever falling so hard again.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried. He’d actually tried so hard. He kept himself locked in the medbay, tied to his desk, drowned in a bottle of cheap bourbon. But that made it all worse— quitting you cold turkey just wasn’t an option.

He then resorted to limiting his exposure to you. Just lunch every afternoon! Sometimes dinner, usually breakfast. A little pop-in to see how you were fairing in the bowels of the Enterprise as Scotty’s favorite engineer beside himself. But that was it. No more than that.

He was rethinking things as he sat before you now, though. With the way your finger-mussed hair brushed against your cheekbones and your eyes sat widened in amusement, he needed to rethink things.

“— so they keep injuring themselves! Out of spite!” you said loudly as you laughed, waving your hand around so your water came dangerously close to sloshing over the rim of your glass. “Can you imagine having such little regard for your superior officer that you’re willing to risk knocking your teeth out?”

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anonymous asked:

Imagine if Jenny hadn't sent for Laoghaire when Jamie and Claire return in Voyager and Jamie had the chance to tell Claire about Laoghaire. Willie, too. Maybe in a place special to them both on the Lallybroch land.

Truth and Love - Part One (of Four)


Claire woke to find it still dark. Jamie and Ian were sitting by their campfire talking quietly but casting large shadows on the rock face behind them as they gesticulated wildly in the course of their discussion. Claire blinked and tried to decide who was doing the scolding and who was being scolded; from what little of their tone she could pick up, that was all she could tell for certain.

She rolled over and grabbed the edges of her cloak tight about her. She was both looking forward to and dreading arriving at Lallybroch. A proper bed and some time to enjoy it with Jamie were what she hoped most to find upon their arrival. They needed some time to talk through what they wanted for their future now that there were the two of them once more.

It took Claire a moment to decide whether they were yet to go to bed or simply up before the dawn. No, she would have noticed Jamie join her so they hadn’t slept yet.

Jamie cut Ian off when he saw Claire approaching.

“Ye’re no having trouble sleeping, are ye?” he asked with concern.

“It’s certainly easier when I have you there next to me,” she teased with a tired smile.

His face relaxed and he smiled back, rolling his eyes briefly as he glanced down and saw Ian watching them.

“I’ll come back with ye, Sassenach. It’s late and we’ll be wantin’ to get an early start.”

“Good night again, Ian,” Claire said with a smile for her nephew.

“Sleep well, Auntie Claire,” he smiled and nodded. “Uncle Jamie,” he added with a significant look to the man in question that Claire couldn’t possibly miss.

They crossed the clearing to where Jamie had erected their small shelter from a crevice in the rock face using a blanket for a third wall and dried moss, leaves, and grass to cushion the ground under his cloak. Claire pulled her cloak off again and lay down leaving room for Jamie beside her. He hesitated before taking a seat and leaning against the rock.

“Is… something wrong?” Claire asked rolling over to face him and putting a hand on his knee. “What were you talking about with Ian?”

“I thought he should go ahead to Lallybroch,” Jamie answered with a shrug, “let them know we’re on our way.”

“You want him to face Jenny and Ian without you there to run interference?” Claire asked.

“He wants them to treat him like the man he nearly is so I told him he needs to face his responsibilities and that means facin’ his parents and havin’ it out with them, no hiding and letting me… what was it ye called it? Run interference?” Jamie smiled and shifted his shoulders awkwardly against the hard rock. His hand covered Claire’s on his leg, a finger playing with her ring. “The lad… he told me––and rightly so––that I ought not to lecture him… when… when there’s something I’m needing to tell you.”

Claire stiffened and her heart began to pound but Jamie held her hand tight in his own.

“What… what do you need to tell me?”

“First… I need ye to know that I meant what I said before,” Jamie began, his voice dropping low. “I want ye, Claire. As much now as I ever did before––more even. But I’ll understand if… if what I say now changes how ye feel towards me. I dinna want to take ye to Lallybroch if… well…”

“Jamie… you’re scaring me,” Claire confessed.

“We said we wouldna talk of… when I told ye I’d not lived these twenty years as a monk––”

“I don’t need to hear about other women, Jamie.” There was warning and fear in her voice but Jamie’s fingers rubbed circles into her palm and it helped to keep her calm.

“There’s only three in those twenty years and wi’ two it was naught but a single night,” he said quickly. “I would be more than happy to pretend they didna happen… the Lord knows they didna make me miss ye or yearn for ye any less… rather the opposite, in fact,” he rambled. “But… I need ye to listen because I need ye to understand.” He looked to her, imploring and terrified.

For a moment all she could hear was the pounding in her ears. She wanted to rip her hand away and curl into a ball against the rock, put her fingers into her ears and hum the way Brianna had done during thunderstorms as a child. But a flicker of curiosity caught in her belly and grew, threatening to twist her guts. She squeezed Jamie’s hand back to signal she was ready for him to continue.

“There was a lass in my time paroled in England… Her parents betrothed her to a man old enough to be her grandsire and she…” He shook his head at the memory. “She didna mean to be bedded by an old man––no for her first time.”

Claire bit her tongue so the retort “So you said you would help?” remained unsaid.

“I felt for her position but had no intention to take her for that reason,” Jamie insisted, the intensity of his meaning squeezing her fingers till the bones ground against each other. “She was the daughter of the man in charge of my parole… and she was a sly and conniving thing too. I wasna allowed letters except those that passed through her father and he was to read every one of them. Jenny and I found ways around it. But the lass got her hands on one and…” Jamie shook his head. “If it had only been me threatened by it, I’d no have done it. But it wasna just me her havin’ that letter put in danger; it was Jenny and Ian and their bairns… They… they were all I had left.”

Claire took a deep breath, her thumb rubbing soothingly against his fingers. Before she could assure him that he’d had no choice but to go along with what the young woman had wanted, he blurted, “I have a son by her. William, he’s called.”

At that, Claire did try to pull her hand away but Jamie reached out with his other hand to hold it in both of his, a pleading gesture. “It was the one night and I didn’t know until after she had died in childbed. Nearly everyone believes he’s her late husband’s and I never can claim him. But he’s… mine. The lass’ parents are raising him. When I was there… I could see him from time to time.”

Nearly everyone…” Claire murmured quietly.

“I had to leave when the resemblance became too strong. I’ll… I’ll never be able to see him again… and he’ll never know. I… havena told anyone at Lallybroch about him––even Jenny and Ian.”

“Then… what were you and Ian talking about by the fire just now if it wasn’t…” she swallowed hard and forced the words out, “your son.”

Jamie bowed his head with obvious shame. His grip on her hand remained desperately, painfully tight as his fingers pressed into the back of her hand.

“Ye need to understand… losing you, Claire…” he made a sound almost like a laugh. “Ye ken what yer name is in the Gáidhlig? Sorcha. ‘Light.’ Losing ye, yer light was gone. I was stuck in a never ending dark of night. All I had left were the stars––Jenny, Ian, their bairns. At times they shone brighter, at times they were dim, but they were what light was left to me… until William. If yer light was the sun, he was moonlight, brighter than the stars.”

There was pride in his voice that cut at Claire. It was a pride she knew too well; the pride of seeing your child’s growth and accomplishments firsthand… the pride of knowing. It was the pride he should have had for Brianna. She knew he loved Brianna and would undoubtedly claim he was proud of her… but it would never ring at the same pitch.

“When I left Helwater and came back to Lallybroch… I’d neither sun nor moon and the stars… Ye did tell me once that we see their light for a time after they die and burn out, no? I came back and it was as though I couldna see their light anymore. The bairns were mostly grown or didna ken me so well as they once did. The tenants had less need of me… It wasna like comin’ home at all,” he admitted with dejection and pain in his voice.

Claire swallowed sensing a lump in her throat. It hurt to hear about William, to think about Brianna, but it hurt more in that moment to feel Jamie reliving his pain. What would she have done, how would she have survived without Brianna? Worse, to have had Brianna and then lost her in some way? She reached her free hand up and rested it atop his two.

“I… can only imagine… what Jenny thought of me then, how she feared for me bein’ alone as I was. She… she didna want me to be on my own, kent I needed someone to care for and to have care for me.”

Claire’s hands went cold and limp.

“Who?” she asked quietly. “She pushed you to marry someone else––that’s what you’re trying to tell me… you’ve remarried…”

Jamie’s inhalation sounded almost like a sob. He nodded.

Claire closed her eyes and focused on the clammy warmth of his hands and how they trembled holding her own. He was scared––terrified. But he was telling her. He could have––and arguably should have––told her sooner… but he was telling her. And hadn’t she herself said that she didn’t care if he was a bigamist or a traitor or a thief. A nervous part of her wanted to laugh; when they’d first wed, she had been the one with two living spouses, though one of hers had conveniently been living in another century. But she had kept that from him for several months, until the truth of it could be avoided no longer.

He hadn’t known she was coming back for him. She had interrupted his life, had consciously known it would be messy and awkward to try and fit the pieces of their lives back together. He had spoiled her with that week of not-knowing. She had let herself relax and think it would be easy after all.

“Do you… do you love her at––”

“No,” he interrupted quickly. “I never should ha’ married her. She was a widow wi’ two lasses and desperate for a man to provide for the three of them. It has helped––bein’ needed in that way, as a provider… But we werena happy and I didna stay wi’ Laoghaire moren’ a few months after we wed before goin’ on to Edinburgh.”

“Laoghaire?” Claire pulled her hands sharply from Jamie’s grasp. “Are you telling me the woman you married is Laoghaire MacKenzie?”

Gonna Be a Bit MIA: A PSA

So with no new episode this past weekend, I haven’t been posting a lot on my blog. Instead I’ve been doing what I can to prepare for the coming weekend which the universe has conspired to ensure kills me (metaphorically, though it also promises to be incredibly exhausting physically). I’m currently getting my affairs in order, doing what I can to pad my queue with my three main fics for the next few weeks but I will be a bit MIA until next weekend is finished. I’m going to try desperately to get my thoughts for A. Malcolm sorted and posted for Monday morning as usual but there is a chance I won’t be able to until Tuesday. In addition to finally having the much anticipated reunion dropping this coming weekend, I have my niece’s birthday party to prep for on Saturday and then help host on Sunday (on whatever sleep I manage after staying up and watching the new episode). There is also something else dropping on Sunday that is almost certainly going to leave me an emotional and  incoherent mess (and that’s all you’ll get for now though you’ll be able to find me buried next to @bonnie-wee-swordsman I’m sure). I think three days is the standard for resurrections though so it won’t take too long to emerge from what promises to be one of the most eventful weekends in my Outlander fandom life. And when I do, there will be A LOT to talk about. 

That soulmate glowing chest AU with hidekane tho
When they were kids, they were always together, so one day Hide’s parents invited Kaneki and his mom over, and they had a lunch together. When Hide and Kaneki ate their meals, as always, they were going to play outside, so when the blond grabbed his bestfriend’s hand and looked into his eyes, excited to say something about a new game he just imagined, their chests started glowing. Both of them were confused at first, but then they giggled and commented “We’re superheroes now! The best duo is up to save the world”, because they were kids and didn’t know about soulmates. Hide’s parents just smiled and told them to take care of each other, while Kaneki’s mom felt relieved, because her son is in good hands.