its just that im not breathing anymore

Fireworks

This is probably my favorite out of everything I have written so far! It contains a lil bit of angst and a lot of fluff!

Warning; panic attack 

Alexander + Fireworks = A bad idea 


For as long as Alex can remember he has hated fireworks… they were beautiful to look at but the noise they made was terrible. He remembers the first time he watched them from up close, he remembers screaming and running into this mother’s arms as they exploded in the air.

After that night Alex swore he would never go close to fireworks ever again… but tonight he was breaking that promise to himself.

Alex convinced himself that tonight he would be fine… it had been over 7 years afterall.

“Happy 4th of july babe!!” John exclaimed as he busted into Alexander’s office, throwing festive confetti in the air.

“Well happy 4th to you too” Alexander said as he stood up from his desk and made his way over to John, kissing him on the lips.

“Sooo” John began, grabbing Alexander’s hands “ I was thinking tonight we could head downtown and watch the firework show?”

Alexander hesitated for a moment but when he saw how excited John was he didnt have the heart to say no, “I would love to!”

And that is how Alexander got himself into a horrible situation, little did Alex know there is always a silver lining.

The morning went great, he ate breakfast with John and listened to him ramble on excitedly about how much he loved fireworks and 4th of July as a whole. Alexander tried to relate with John but failed to due to his fear of the fireworks.

“They probably aren’t even that bad… its been 7 years!” Alex tried to tell himself and it seemed to be working, that is, up until it was time to leave.

John and Alex had been cuddling on the couch, watching a local parade on TV when Laf texted them about a 4th of July BBQ Herc was throwing.

11:26 am- Laf: Salut mes amies! Tonight Herc and I are having a BBQ, its before the fireworks and the Schuylers have already agreed on coming… you wanna come?

They gladly accepted the invitation and decided to take a small nap before getting ready for the evening. As they lay spooning in the bed, Alex was kept awake with thoughts of everything that could go wrong later in the evening. He imagined things from him panicking all the way to a firework exploding prematurely and him losing everyone he loved… him losing John.

“Are you okay?” A concerned John asked, Alex didn’t realize it but he must have started crying during the time he was stuck in his own imagination.

“Yea, im sorry…” Alex lied, trying to change the topic.

“Whats wrong?” John asked frantically as he wiped a tear from Alexander’s red cheek.

“Umm… the last time I got close to fireworks was 7 years ago… I ran straight into my mothers arms, terrified. Anytime I hear them now I think of the thunder and the hurricane-” Alex confessed.

“Oh my god Alex im so sorry! We dont have to go tonight! We can just leave Laf’s early and come back here and watch them on TV like we always have! Gosh we’ve been together for more than 4 years I should have known!” John rambled in a guilty manner.

“Babe, its fine. It has been 7 years John, I think I will be ok tonight.” Alex tried to reassure John and himself.

“Okay but if you dont feel comfortable at any point tell me and I will get us a cab faster than they can light the fireworks off!” John promised, kissing Alex on the top of his hand.

By now it was almost five o’clock, John and Alex started getting ready, they were supposed to leave their apartment in an hour to get to the house of Laf and Herc which was located on the outskirts of the city.  

An hour soon passed and now John and Alex were heading out the door, dressed head to toe in patriotic colors. They had two lawn chairs slung over their shoulders, prepared for the fireworks that would come later on.

Upon arriving at the household of Laf and Herc, both boys broke out into hysterics at what was hung on the door. Laf had decided to take decorating into his own hands and dec the entire house out with french flags.

“I mean he did get the colors right!” Alex laughed and he looked around in amusement.

“You bet I did!” Laf laughed as he turned the corner, enveloping his friends in a hug, “follow me, everyone else is outside.”

The two boys were led outside where the Schuyler sisters were tanning by the pool with tea in their hands, Herc was flipping burgers, and music was blasting.

“Look who showed up!” Herc boomed, causing the sisters to turn their heads.

“Hey!” Eliza said rising out of her seat and walking over to hug the boys, Angelica and Peggy soon following.

Greetings were exchanged, memories were made, and now dinner was just finishing up, Alex and John were convinced to stay at Laf’s place. Herc convinced them that the view was much better from their backyard and everyone seemed to agree. This helped Alex calm down some, at least he would be surrounded by his friends.

“I’m going to set our chairs up.” John announced, leaving the table and walking over to the side of the pool where Alex and John left their chairs.

As soon as he was out of earshot Laf whispered to Alex “I dare you to go push him in!”

Alex sprang to action, creeping up on John slowly, and then gently shoving him into the deep end of the pool with a huge smirk on his face.

“Oh my god! Alexander you are so paying for this!” John laughed as he swam to the side of the pool “now help me out or you are totally sleeping on the couch tonight” he joked.

Alex didnt think twice before lending his boyfriend a hand, however, this resulted in John pulling Alex in beside him.

“I can believe you!” Alex laughed, splashing John in the face.

John splashed back and soon they were having a full on splashing war.

“I hate you break it to you love birds but the fireworks are starting soon!” Angelica laughed as she set their chairs up and sat a towel in each of the seats.

The boys eventually got out of the pool and dried off, they were now sitting waiting for the fireworks to start. John noticed the way Alex was slightly shaking his leg so he gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was right there. Alex squeezed back weakly, but John wasn’t completely convinced that Alex was fine.

The fireworks started about five minutes later. When the first one shot off Alex jumped a little but on the outside he seemed to be fine. John didn’t know that Alex’s chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, he didn’t know this until Alex’s breath quickened and he shot out of his chair and into the house. John quickly jumped out of his chair and followed him inside, but not before telling the others to stay out and watch the fireworks, he didnt want Alex to be overwhelmed.

“Alex baby? Its John, where are you?” John spoke softly, not wanting to frighten Alex anymore. When he didnt reply, John had to follow the sound of Alex’s sobs… the sounds led him to the bathroom.

“Im going to come in… its just me” John warned as he slowly entered the bathroom. Upon entering, John rushed over to his boyfriend who was laying in the shower trying to get as far away from the fireworks as possible.

“John I-” Alex whimpered when John lowered himself into the shower right beside him.

“Shh, focus on calming down right now” John instructed “is it okay if I pull you closer?”

Alex nodded and John wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and pulled him so their bodies were touching.

“Ok I need you to take deep breaths for me Alex and just remember that the noises outside are just fireworks and that you are inside and safe.” John spoke gently as he slowly ran his hand through Alex’s hair to try to calm him down.

Minutes had passed and Alex was slowly beginning to calm down, he now had his face in John’s chest with a slow stream of tears pouring out of his eyes.

“John what about the others?” Alex sniffled, referring to the rest of their friends left outside.

“They are completely safe, just like you.” John told Alex as he wiped tears from Alex’s cheek.

Just when Alex had stopped crying he looked back up at John and spoke again “Im so sorry, I know this was your favorite holiday and i ruined-” he rambled, tears spilling down his cheeks once again.

“Alexander dont you dare apologize, your mental state means more to me than any holiday ever will” John promised as he enveloped the boy in a hug, Alex responded by grasping tightly onto John’s tear stained shirt.  

They sat like this for a while before John broke the silence, “would you like to move out to the couch?”

Alex only nodded, not bothering to move his head from the crook of John’s neck as John lifted him up and carried him to the couch. The boys now had a good view of the fireworks, only this time there was no sound.

John was eager to get Alex comfortable on the couch, he had been planning this very moment all day- hell for weeks now he had been planning. What John was about to do would change their lives forever.

“You better now baby?” John innocently asked the boy laying on the couch, not wanting to do what he was about to do if the boy wasn’t 100% stable.

“Yea I am, thank you so much John” Alex gave John a weak smile.

“Anything for you my love, I’m going to grab something but ill be right back” John promised as he kissed Alex’s hand and walked into the other room.

When John returned, he returned with something special in his pocket.

“So ive been meaning to talk to you all day” John began as he sat down on the couch next to Alex.

“What about baby?” Alexander had a hint of worry in his voice, the smile on John’s face seemed to calm Alex’s fears though.

“Us.” John then got down on one knee in front of Alex “Alexander Hamilton the past four years have been the happiest of my life-” John began, Alex was now crying happy tears “and I owe that all to you. Waking up each morning and seeing you is a dream come true and I want to do that for the rest of my life. You mean so much to me Alex and sometimes I dont think you see that but I want to change that. Alex I want to be by your side through everything for the rest of our lives… will you marry me?” John finished, leaving them both in tears.

“Yes! Oh my god John Laurens a million times yes!” Alexander jumped off of the couch and into John’’s arms where John was waiting with a small gold band in a box.

Alexander smashed his lips against John’s and just then a firework shot off, only this time Alexander didnt flinch.

Guardian angel (d.l.)

▹Short imagine 

A/N: okay this is so freaking long!! but u should read, its not even done bc i have so many ideas for it!! so there will be a second part!! I hope you guys enjoy thank you love u -i

Masterlist

Request stuff here


“Why do you keep hurting me?” I asked, he was hurting me but not physical worse, mentally.  My eyes filled to the brim with liquid and I just cant help but let the tears fall.  I take a long gulp.

Keep reading

secret relations (Part 2)

Anonymous: Can you make an imagine where spencer is dating the reader and they both work at the BAU but they keep their relationship a secret to avoid being teased and the reader gets jealous when one of the cops at the station flirts with him. xoxo

A/N: i might make this into a series im not sure, but i do have some ideas i hope thats okay. x

Part 1


Originally posted by sweetg

You all shared the information you had and you all went your separate ways you hurried outside dialing Garcia’s number breathing heavy “Y/N? what’s wrong?” you couldn’t steady your breathing but you looked around to make sure no one was around “P I saw Spencer talking to a blonde, they were touchy and giggly and i just cannot handle that.” she sighed and tried to calm you down “Y/N try to talk to him maybe it was a misunderstanding” you shook your head but you told Garcia you would after you hung up you turned to see JJ her eyes written with sympathy you shook your head “JJ, please i don’t know why this is so hard for me i always thought this would happen i just thought i’d be able to walk up to him, grab his hand and walk away with him” she nodded and walked towards you “i know it’s hard but maybe you should talk to him” “talk to who about what?” you leaned your head on JJ’s shoulder sighing loudly as Derek walked up behind JJ “come on Y/N you can tell me anything” you shook your head walking back inside the building, you walked up to Hotch “hey um can i speak to you about something personal?” he stared for a bit then nodded and took you into the conference room you both sat down. You took a deep breath “meandspenceraredating” you said quickly hoping Hotch didn’t really hear you he chuckled lightly which is something Hotch never did “come on now Y/N im a profiler i know, and… Reid already told me.” you sat back in your seat sighing in relief running your hands through your hair “he’s afraid Derek is gonna make fun of him” Hotch nodded “I know” just as you were about to answer him Spencer walked in you looked at him then back at Hotch “im gonna get back to work Hotch stood up sternly saying “no you two are going to sit here talk about how you’re going to tell the rest of the team, but mostly Morgan.” he straightened his suit and walked out. Spencer sat down beside you “Baby, what’s wrong?” you looked down playing with your fingers “lack of eye contact, unsteady breathing, dialated pupils, tear stained chee-” “stop profiling me. just stop” Spencer was taken back at your sudden change of voice “Spencer, I want to tell the rest of the team we’re together, Hotch, Emily, JJ, and Garcia already know im sure Rossi knows its only going to take a short amount of time before Derek finds out i don’t want to keep us a secret anymore Spence.” he stared at you his eyes pleading “please Y/N, not now” “then when Spencer? I cannot continue this relationship if you cannot tell our family something that makes us extremely happy, unless… I don’t make you happy.” he paused for a second and took a deep breath “after the case, I promise.” you nodded as he kissed your forehead as you pulled apart Hotch walked in “there’s another body” you sighed and followed Hotch out and into the SUV with him, you Hotch and Morgan went to the crime scene and since it was a little ways to go Morgan chirped “so Y/N what did you have to talk to Reid about?” you drummed your fingers on your lap Hotch cleared his throat looking at Morgan in the rearview mirror he threw his hands up in defense as you approached the scene you heard gunshots you quickly pulled out your gun as the SUV came to a stop the three of you got out weapons drawn pointing it at the source of the shots “put your weapin down! Now!” Hotch screamed at the unsub, you stepped forward as he was pointing his gun at Hotch and Morgan you inched closer to him “Stephen, look at me, look here.” you held your weapon up showing him you were putting it away tears streaming down his face you looked back at Hotch who nodded you looked back at the unsub “Stephen, i know you were sexually assaulted as a kid by your step father and your mom did absolutely nothing about it and for that i am terribly sorry” your hands up, inching closer to him “You don’t know what i went through! You don’t know me!” you stopped moving and just stared “I do Stephen, I know exactly what that feels like I understand you completely. when I was younger my step father touched me as well and no one did anything about it and the thing is I never told anyone about it, until right now. we can get you the help you need” you held your hand out as the man shook and sobbed “now please, hand me the gun it doesn’t have to end like this” he rose the gun aiming it at you he squeezed his eyes shut “im sorry” and fired sending you to the side getting hit in the arm as you fell to the ground you heard another gunshot and Morgan ran to your side “Y/N, are you okay?” you nodded and held your arm to stop the bleeding “we got him Morgan” you said happily and out of breath. he nodded and helped you up. Hotch arrested the unsub but before he got in the cop car he stopped and talked to you “agent, will you please talk to me when I need you?” Hotch’s face wanted you to say no but you just couldn’t you nodded your head and walked towards the ambulance as you sat down letting the paramedics check you out Spencer ran over to you “Y/N, Y/N! are you okay?” you smiled and looked up at your cutely worried boyfriend you nodded “yes Spence, I’m okay I mean other than getting shot” you smiled and watched as he rubbed your knuckles with his thumb you slowly pulled your hand away as Morgan started to turn around and walk over to you two he rests his huge hand on your tiny shoulder “how ya feeling?” you shrugged looking at your wound, “just got shot by a psycho killer but other than that Im great” you glanced up at Spencer who was watching you as you responded to Morgan “Wait so what did you need to tell Reid?” you chuckled and patted his chest “You’ll know when we get back home.” you got up and walked towards Prentiss “So did you tell Morgan?” you smiled and shook your head “We’re telling him when we get back and I’m actually okay with that” 


We were all at the BAU Morgan was all too eager to hear the news “come on guys tell me.” you giggled and took Spencer’s hand “Me and Spencer are dating, and have been dating for 2 years now.” “Well actually 23 months, 17 days, 15 minutes and 52 seconds” you looked at Spencer which caused him to smile wide you both looked at Morgan who stood shocked but happy “I’m happy for you pretty boy, so when is there gonna be little baby geniuses?” after hearing that both you and Spencer blushed. You playfully shoved Morgan’s shoulder “not for a while, Morgan” Morgan pulled you into a hug but quickly retreated and looked at you all “everyone else knew except for me?” you looked up at him innocently and smiled “everyone else just kind of figured it out, come on man you’re a profiler for god sake” everyone laughed and Morgan lightly shoved your shoulder, ruffling Spencer’s hair. Just as you all were all talking and making jokes a familiar voice echoed through the bullpen “so, this is where my little flower works.”



A/N: this is far from over, please let me know what you think of it criticism is expected, and if you have any ideas that you want me to add that would be great too. thank you. x


masterlist

I stopped writing about you all the time and stopped thinking of us as much.

So why is it that when I do, it hurts so bad? It feels like every single mistake I’ve made crashes down on me at once until I can’t breathe anymore.

It feels like goodbye.

But babe I miss you so much. I’m not ready to say goodbye yet…

—  I guess this is it.

Today has been such an emotional roller coaster. First, I see that TRC is getting a tv show?? How awesome is that?!? And then, I get a Welcome to the Madness exhibition skate from Yurio, and I die because of how much I didn’t realize I needed it. But then I break down in a dressing room becuase I’m so overwhelmed, like?? Why is life so hard? Why can’t it just be simple so I can breathe?

WANTED PLOT: loosely based on the vow

“okay.. honey. you need to breathe okay? breathe.” he stepped closer to her, not caring about boundaries anymore as he cupped her face in his hands. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you the truth but its what the doctor advised me okay?” he brushed back her hair before taking a deep breath. “its true.. i’m your husband. we’ve been together for at least four years and have been married for a year before your accident.. im so sorry for not telling you, and im so sorry for distancing myself from you. i just thought that maybe its what you needed.. the doctor’s said that you might not get your memories back, and i didn’t want you to feel like im forcing my life–this life on you.”

anonymous asked:

im too young to bee feeling this way, it was so good at the start wy didnt i just stay? we could have worked it out. ive been trying so hard to stay strong and move on but i just cant anymore, theres so muchpain its hard to breathe my heart doesnt deserve to feel this im a good person why do i have to make stupid deecisions

You didn’t stay because it was the smart thing to do

And trust me you’ll get over him just give it time

32. - Ill be the Freak U can Taunt.

Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?
You can ride my face until you dripping cum
Can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?
Can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?

Pussy so good, I had to save that shit for later
Took her to the kitchen, fucked her right there on the table.

Kalea:

“I cant believe the way I acted at dinner last night”, I mumbled against Malakai’s skin as he continued to run his fingers all over my body. He had been like this since making up, unable to keep his hands off me and I him.“My mother is going to kill me”, I sighed with defeat as he finally let out a chuckle as he pressed his lips against my shoulder. “Serves yo ass right for actin out”, He grinned though he kept his eyes closed as I continued to trace over his tattoos on his chest.

“I just wanted to ruin dinner for Dom”, I admitted pathetically which had him laughing as he lifted his head and looked down at me with tired eyes. “Thats hella evil baby”, He stated with amusement however I simply found myself shrugging my shoulders while I took the sight of him in.

Keep reading

Problem is I worry about you more than I should, Its not my place to do so anymore. I swear its not jealousy, Im glad that you’re happy even if its not with me. Im just scared she’ll hurt you and you’ll go back to find warmth beneath the chimney in your chest getting closer to death with every smoke filled breath.
—  S.M // Please stop smoking
Preference #11: Surprise

A/N: Again I’m always taking requests. He will either give you a surprise or you will surprise him. Also I start school soon so my schedule will be crazy, I promise to try to upload a pref once a week!  Enjoy! xoxo

Keep reading

the horoscopes as shitpost types

aries - lanky kong

taurus - sad frog

gemini - rick roll

no sorry i cant do this anymore im leaving this entire site forever i cant make this post its just not right to put living breathing people through this

#19 (Imagine) - Both in this

#19 from my au to-do list “i need to know were both in this”

*****

LIST HERE

*****

REQUEST ARE ALWAYS OPEN BABES (be sure to message me a #!)

******

Originally posted by influenzare

It was constant . Every single day , there was a new fight . It could be the littlest thing. From me having the television up too loud , to him not paying attention to the laundry . Just little things would strike an argument between us , but this one felt like the worst we’ve ever had .

“I hate you” I scream at him ,pushing at his chest with all my might .

It had been at least thirty minutes of constant yelling at eachother , him saying hurtful things that made my heart break repeatedly , and me hitting well below the belt with my words.

He didn’t say anything , just clenched his jaw and took my blows , but I wanted to hurt him . I wanted to hurt him like hes hurt me .

“I don’t know why I ever thought I loved you . You don’t deserve to be happy Justin , you deserve to be lonely forever” I shout venomously , and even im surprised at my hurtful words , but they were already said , and there was no taking them back , not after everything .

“Then why are you here Y/N? Why are you wasting your fucking time?” He spits back , grabbing my hands and pulling me close to him .

The tears are pouring out of my eyes at this point , at for one moment , I truly did hate him . I missed the way we used to be , before all the fighting , before the wall that was put between us for some reason .

I miss when we could just talk about anything , and cuddle , and he would randomly kiss me , making my heart lurch in my chest every single time .

I miss the way he would hold me close at night , as if afraid to lose me , and the way he woke me up with kisses .

But something has changed between us . I don’t know when it happened or why , but sometimes , I beg and pray to god that we can get back to that stage . That this is just a bump in the road, and that soon the road wont be bumpy anymore , that everything will get back to normal .

I couldn’t answer him . I couldn’t tell him all of that , because right now , he was hurt and angry , and he was going to use any of my vulnerability against me .

“I don’t know “ I sob , ripping my arms from his hold and turning around , completely and utterly defeated .

I give up . I was simply exhausted , and I didn’t want to scream anymore . He completely wrung me out from the inside out .

I silently walked up the stairs to our bedroom ,walking into the closet , and pulling out a duffle bag .

I set it on the bed before opening my underwear drawer , pulling out a handful of panties and bras and throwing them in the bag . I grabbed random things , too hollow inside to focus on what I was doing , and after closing the bag , I changed into some jeans and a sweatshirt , sliding on my keds and grabbing my duffle bag , car keys , and phone .

I slowly walked back down the stairs and set my duffle bag near the door .

Even though this relationship wasn’t healthy at all , I couldn’t leave like this .

“Im giving you one more chance” I tell Justin , who was now in the kitchen , his hands on the counter as he looked up at me .

“One more chance to fight for me , to tell me that we can work this out , that im not the only one in this . I need to know were both in this Justin” I say , my voice quivering.

“But if not , ill just walk out that door , and well be done. For good. No more fights , no more hurt , no more disappointment . Its not up to me anymore . Ive tried , now its your turn to try” I finish , letting out a deep breath .

I stood there , like a fucking idiot , counting to 60 in my head and hoping hed say something . Hoping he’d beg me to stay , and promise to be better . But he didn’t say a word .

I shook my he’d , fighting the tears welling up in my eyes as I said “ I hope you find the right woman for you Justin , because obviously it isn’t me .”

I quickly turned around and walked towards the door , wiping my eyes furiously as the tears fell , scolding myself for not waiting till I got outside to continue crying .

“Y/N” I hear behind me , and I stop abruptly , not daring to move .

“Im in this” He says , my heart is racing so fast I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.

“I can be better. We can be better” He continues , his hand grabbing mine gently and turning me around .

“I love you. Please , don’t go” His voice cracks , and my heart warms slightly .

I raise my hand and gently cup his face , his eyes slightly puffy .

“Promise me well make this work” I say softly , and he nods quickly .

“I promise”


************************

THIS WAS SO SAD I CRY OLM IM SORRY

Im sorry-cameron dallas

Im sorry-Cameron dallas

*your his sister*

*THIS MAY BE TRIGGERING*

Tears poured down your cheeks,as you set up the
Video camera,
You sat there,whimpering quietly,as you stared directly into
The lens,
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm yourself
Down,and then you finally spoke up
“Im sorry” you choked out
“Im sorry im such a fuck up” you said your body shaking
“I just…cant live like this anymore,the pain,is eating away
Inside of me,i hear voices,telling me to kill my self,so ive decided,
Thats whats gonna happen,by the time you see this ill probably be dead,
Please dont worry,because when im dead ill be in a place where i cant be
Happy,its just,i cant handle this,i hate myself for this,but please mom,dad,and cam
Dont cry over me,i dont want that,ok,just remeber that i love you,and ill be watching
Down on you from up there okay?” You sniffled
You paused for a bit just staring at the red light flashing on the camera
“Goodbye” you said as you shut off the video camera,
You uploaded it and set up the rope,
You hung it from your celling fan,
You sighed,sitting on the edge of your bed,just thinking

*camerons p.o.v*

“STOP IT NASH” i laughed trying to push nash to the ground
I was currently at nash’s place with the rest if the guys just goofing around
“Cam your phone is buzzing like crazy” said taylor
“Pass is hear” i said,taylor tossed me my phone,
I checked the screen and my notifications on twitter were going
Crazy,people kept on tweeting me a link and telling me too click on it
I looked at it puzzled but clicked in it anyway,
It took me to youtube where i saw a video of my little sister..

Thats wierd..

I though,i pressed play,and saw her tiny frame on the screen,
“Im sorry” she spoke
I watched the whole thing through and i was in tears
“Cam what wrong?” Jack G asked
“Guys ive gotta go” i said pushing past them,
“We’ll come” they all demanded
“Just stay here”
“No were coming”
I finally gave in,
I got in my car,all the guys piled in
I drove as fast as i could,

I knew i shouldnt of left her home alone today,
Something was telling me not to but yet me being the
Dick i am,i still left her

I was crying harder than i’d ever been before, i could barely
See,
I sped along the road,i arrived safely back home
I got out and ran into the house as fast as i could.

*YOUR P.O.V*

I got up from my bed and put the rope around my neck,
I had a stool to stand on so i could jump,and die faster
I slowly stood up on the stool,staring at the wall
I heard them,the voices

Just do it
Jump
Get it over with

“Ok” i whispered
I finally jumped,
My vision got blurry
I couldnt breathe

“Goodbye” i choked

I heard faint footsteps coming up the stairs
I couldnt make a noise so i just stayed there almost lifeless

*camerons p.o.v*

I ran as fast as i could up the stairs and into
My baby sisters room,petrified
I opened the door and she was hanging from her celling fan
I let out a loud sob and ran up to her small body, i hugged her tight
I could hear her breathing a little bit,
“SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE” i screamed
Taylor instantly called the ambulance
“Please help me get her down” i sobbed
Nash and carter ran over and helped me get her down from the fan,
I layed her head in my lap and cried into her hair
“im sorry” i cried
“Cam” she spoke barley audible
“Just stay with me okay” i sobbed
I took her hand in mine and held it tight
“Just let me die” she whispered
That broke my heart
“no,please i love you”
Taylor ran back
“there here” he said as 3 men came in,
They put an oxygen mask on her and carried her out
I quickly followed behind
I ran into the back of the ambulance
I sat on the seat opposite her holding her hand
“Whats her name” the man asks
“Y/N Dallas”
“Age”
“Y/A”
“Can you tell me what happend”
“She tried to hang herself” i cried
“It seems asif you caught her just on time,otherwise she’d be
Dead,he hear rate is slow,but it should quicken up in a couple of hours,
Her breathing should take about an hour to get back to its regular pattern,
The hospital will probably keep her in for atleast 2 week,so that they can stabilise
Her,they will probably admit her to a physiatrics ward,and work with her there”
The man said,i just nodded,
I stared at her body laying there lifeless,
More tears escaped my eyes,
The ambulance stopped and they quickly opened the doors and wheeled her in
I ran behind them and followed them into a room where they hooked her up to machines
“She should be fine now,if anything seems wrong,or if she wakes up,just press this” he
Said indicating towards a button,i nodded and thanked him,
He walked out,and it was just the two of us,mom was away on a business trip,she came
Back in a week.
“Why did you do it y/n,everybody loves you,i couldnt imagine
Life without you,im so glad i caught you in time,otherwise,you’d have been dead.
You mean the absolute world to me,ill help you i promise,okay i love you”
I said holding her hand and putting my head down on the side of the Bed,
The door creaked,it was the guys
“Will she be okay?” Aaron asked tears in his eyes
“The doctors said she will be in for atleast 2 weeks,and they will put
Her in a physicatric ward” they all nodded

Suddenly i felt her arm move
“Y/N?” I asked
“Cam” she whispered
“Im sorry” she said crying
“Its okay,hey look at me” i said lifting her eyes to meet mine
“Were gonna help you okay,please please dont ever feel like you
Cant tell me whats on your mind,becuase if you keep it bottled up,
It will kill you,i know because ive been here myself,ive woken up in
A hospital bed,wishing i hadnt,we all love you okay?” I said a tear escaping
My eye,
“Thank you so much cameron” she said
I hugged her tightly,
“I love you” i whispered
“I love you too” she whispered back
-
-
-
-
I jus wrote this because i thought of it off the top of my head,i hope you liked it,sorry it was so long (btw inwas literally in tears)

Listen

frozen do you wanna build a snowman- Elsa’s p.o.v

lyrics:  Anna i cant build a snowman, even though i wanna go and play, i know i don’t see you anymore but i cant come out the door, maybe some other day, i still wanna be buddies, you’re still in my heart but my magic just keeps us apart, i really wanna build a snowman but i just cannot build a snowman.

im sorry bye…

my powers they are getting stronger, i wear these gloves so i wont harm, i hear you playing, its distracting me, i just need to breathe i need to stay calm. i know these rooms are lonely but so is mine, i never wanted to leave you behind.

anna, please just please don’t cry now, i wish i could hold you against my chest, im only hiding to protect you sis, i never wanted this, im doing my best, you’ve always been so strong girl, just keep being strong, i am so proud of you, i wish that we could build a snowman

(sorry for my bad singing, i just really wanted to do this)

let it be, you can’t make it come or go

“My friends and everybody else, they want something, but I- I don’t want it. And it scares me because I know that I should want it, but I just don’t. I feel alone, and like no one understands me. And I don’t know if there is something wrong with me for not wanting it, or if it’s something else, but I’m scared that I won’t be like everyone else when I get older, and I have to lie to people about it, and I just want to stop lying.” Harry takes a deep breath after that, feeling scared after he just told his biggest secret to someone. But, what he said didn’t make that much sense because he left out many important words.

Please read the tags!!

anonymous asked:

I don't want to be a bother but it's been 4 months today since me and this guy ended and I honestly love him so much and he was my best friend and now he doesn't care about me at all and I've been crying all night and usually I would call him and he would make me laugh but I can't do that anymore and I don't want to live or breathe because it's so hard without him and im never good enough for anyone and it fucking hurts and I wish he never left but he did and I don't know what to do anymore :(

Damn I can only imagine what you’re going through. I can tell you that showing a man your feelings does more harm then good sometimes and when you act indifferent at times it can go a long way. I know it’s really difficult cause everything is reminde
But just keep busy! And tell yourself you love yourself and that you’re beautiful. Maybe he’ll think differently but at the end of the day girl you only got you! Love you beautiful soul! It’ll get easier you e already gone through the hardest part