This is probably my favorite out of everything I have written so far! It contains a lil bit of angst and a lot of fluff!
Warning; panic attack
Alexander + Fireworks = A bad idea
For as long as Alex can remember he has hated fireworks… they were beautiful to look at but the noise they made was terrible. He remembers the first time he watched them from up close, he remembers screaming and running into this mother’s arms as they exploded in the air.
After that night Alex swore he would never go close to fireworks ever again… but tonight he was breaking that promise to himself.
Alex convinced himself that tonight he would be fine… it had been over 7 years afterall.
“Happy 4th of july babe!!” John exclaimed as he busted into Alexander’s office, throwing festive confetti in the air.
“Well happy 4th to you too” Alexander said as he stood up from his desk and made his way over to John, kissing him on the lips.
“Sooo” John began, grabbing Alexander’s hands “ I was thinking tonight we could head downtown and watch the firework show?”
Alexander hesitated for a moment but when he saw how excited John was he didnt have the heart to say no, “I would love to!”
And that is how Alexander got himself into a horrible situation, little did Alex know there is always a silver lining.
The morning went great, he ate breakfast with John and listened to him ramble on excitedly about how much he loved fireworks and 4th of July as a whole. Alexander tried to relate with John but failed to due to his fear of the fireworks.
“They probably aren’t even that bad… its been 7 years!” Alex tried to tell himself and it seemed to be working, that is, up until it was time to leave.
John and Alex had been cuddling on the couch, watching a local parade on TV when Laf texted them about a 4th of July BBQ Herc was throwing.
11:26 am- Laf: Salut mes amies! Tonight Herc and I are having a BBQ, its before the fireworks and the Schuylers have already agreed on coming… you wanna come?
They gladly accepted the invitation and decided to take a small nap before getting ready for the evening. As they lay spooning in the bed, Alex was kept awake with thoughts of everything that could go wrong later in the evening. He imagined things from him panicking all the way to a firework exploding prematurely and him losing everyone he loved… him losing John.
“Are you okay?” A concerned John asked, Alex didn’t realize it but he must have started crying during the time he was stuck in his own imagination.
“Yea, im sorry…” Alex lied, trying to change the topic.
“Whats wrong?” John asked frantically as he wiped a tear from Alexander’s red cheek.
“Umm… the last time I got close to fireworks was 7 years ago… I ran straight into my mothers arms, terrified. Anytime I hear them now I think of the thunder and the hurricane-” Alex confessed.
“Oh my god Alex im so sorry! We dont have to go tonight! We can just leave Laf’s early and come back here and watch them on TV like we always have! Gosh we’ve been together for more than 4 years I should have known!” John rambled in a guilty manner.
“Babe, its fine. It has been 7 years John, I think I will be ok tonight.” Alex tried to reassure John and himself.
“Okay but if you dont feel comfortable at any point tell me and I will get us a cab faster than they can light the fireworks off!” John promised, kissing Alex on the top of his hand.
By now it was almost five o’clock, John and Alex started getting ready, they were supposed to leave their apartment in an hour to get to the house of Laf and Herc which was located on the outskirts of the city.
An hour soon passed and now John and Alex were heading out the door, dressed head to toe in patriotic colors. They had two lawn chairs slung over their shoulders, prepared for the fireworks that would come later on.
Upon arriving at the household of Laf and Herc, both boys broke out into hysterics at what was hung on the door. Laf had decided to take decorating into his own hands and dec the entire house out with french flags.
“I mean he did get the colors right!” Alex laughed and he looked around in amusement.
“You bet I did!” Laf laughed as he turned the corner, enveloping his friends in a hug, “follow me, everyone else is outside.”
The two boys were led outside where the Schuyler sisters were tanning by the pool with tea in their hands, Herc was flipping burgers, and music was blasting.
“Look who showed up!” Herc boomed, causing the sisters to turn their heads.
“Hey!” Eliza said rising out of her seat and walking over to hug the boys, Angelica and Peggy soon following.
Greetings were exchanged, memories were made, and now dinner was just finishing up, Alex and John were convinced to stay at Laf’s place. Herc convinced them that the view was much better from their backyard and everyone seemed to agree. This helped Alex calm down some, at least he would be surrounded by his friends.
“I’m going to set our chairs up.” John announced, leaving the table and walking over to the side of the pool where Alex and John left their chairs.
As soon as he was out of earshot Laf whispered to Alex “I dare you to go push him in!”
Alex sprang to action, creeping up on John slowly, and then gently shoving him into the deep end of the pool with a huge smirk on his face.
“Oh my god! Alexander you are so paying for this!” John laughed as he swam to the side of the pool “now help me out or you are totally sleeping on the couch tonight” he joked.
Alex didnt think twice before lending his boyfriend a hand, however, this resulted in John pulling Alex in beside him.
“I can believe you!” Alex laughed, splashing John in the face.
John splashed back and soon they were having a full on splashing war.
“I hate you break it to you love birds but the fireworks are starting soon!” Angelica laughed as she set their chairs up and sat a towel in each of the seats.
The boys eventually got out of the pool and dried off, they were now sitting waiting for the fireworks to start. John noticed the way Alex was slightly shaking his leg so he gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was right there. Alex squeezed back weakly, but John wasn’t completely convinced that Alex was fine.
The fireworks started about five minutes later. When the first one shot off Alex jumped a little but on the outside he seemed to be fine. John didn’t know that Alex’s chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, he didn’t know this until Alex’s breath quickened and he shot out of his chair and into the house. John quickly jumped out of his chair and followed him inside, but not before telling the others to stay out and watch the fireworks, he didnt want Alex to be overwhelmed.
“Alex baby? Its John, where are you?” John spoke softly, not wanting to frighten Alex anymore. When he didnt reply, John had to follow the sound of Alex’s sobs… the sounds led him to the bathroom.
“Im going to come in… its just me” John warned as he slowly entered the bathroom. Upon entering, John rushed over to his boyfriend who was laying in the shower trying to get as far away from the fireworks as possible.
“John I-” Alex whimpered when John lowered himself into the shower right beside him.
“Shh, focus on calming down right now” John instructed “is it okay if I pull you closer?”
Alex nodded and John wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and pulled him so their bodies were touching.
“Ok I need you to take deep breaths for me Alex and just remember that the noises outside are just fireworks and that you are inside and safe.” John spoke gently as he slowly ran his hand through Alex’s hair to try to calm him down.
Minutes had passed and Alex was slowly beginning to calm down, he now had his face in John’s chest with a slow stream of tears pouring out of his eyes.
“John what about the others?” Alex sniffled, referring to the rest of their friends left outside.
“They are completely safe, just like you.” John told Alex as he wiped tears from Alex’s cheek.
Just when Alex had stopped crying he looked back up at John and spoke again “Im so sorry, I know this was your favorite holiday and i ruined-” he rambled, tears spilling down his cheeks once again.
“Alexander dont you dare apologize, your mental state means more to me than any holiday ever will” John promised as he enveloped the boy in a hug, Alex responded by grasping tightly onto John’s tear stained shirt.
They sat like this for a while before John broke the silence, “would you like to move out to the couch?”
Alex only nodded, not bothering to move his head from the crook of John’s neck as John lifted him up and carried him to the couch. The boys now had a good view of the fireworks, only this time there was no sound.
John was eager to get Alex comfortable on the couch, he had been planning this very moment all day- hell for weeks now he had been planning. What John was about to do would change their lives forever.
“You better now baby?” John innocently asked the boy laying on the couch, not wanting to do what he was about to do if the boy wasn’t 100% stable.
“Yea I am, thank you so much John” Alex gave John a weak smile.
“Anything for you my love, I’m going to grab something but ill be right back” John promised as he kissed Alex’s hand and walked into the other room.
When John returned, he returned with something special in his pocket.
“So ive been meaning to talk to you all day” John began as he sat down on the couch next to Alex.
“What about baby?” Alexander had a hint of worry in his voice, the smile on John’s face seemed to calm Alex’s fears though.
“Us.” John then got down on one knee in front of Alex “Alexander Hamilton the past four years have been the happiest of my life-” John began, Alex was now crying happy tears “and I owe that all to you. Waking up each morning and seeing you is a dream come true and I want to do that for the rest of my life. You mean so much to me Alex and sometimes I dont think you see that but I want to change that. Alex I want to be by your side through everything for the rest of our lives… will you marry me?” John finished, leaving them both in tears.
“Yes! Oh my god John Laurens a million times yes!” Alexander jumped off of the couch and into John’’s arms where John was waiting with a small gold band in a box.
Alexander smashed his lips against John’s and just then a firework shot off, only this time Alexander didnt flinch.