Colors (Part 17) [Min Yoongi x Reader]
Genre : Mafia/gang AU (M)
November rain falls through the tattered grey sky like bullets of a pellet gun, hammering the earth and its inhabitants mercilessly. Min Yoongi stands near the window and listens to the rain battering the roof above his head and the window through which he looks at the world dancing below him. People are lost lambs running here there, shielding themselves up with their open umbrellas and looking for a safe space. But to him it’s ‘just rain’. It cleans and purifies, washes away our sins from yesterday, gives us a new beginning.
Rain is sad but rain is fulfilling.
He opens the window, just a little and puts his hand out to touch it.
The sleeve of his shirt starts to get soaked and he doesn’t really care. The sweet smell of rain pours in through the small crack; it’s so full of earth; he inhales it all at once. If he could keep some of it in a jar forever, he would take it with him everywhere. His bed room though always smelled like bitter perfume and cigarette smoke, the air was so thick sometimes he felt like he was choking on it. And when he couldn’t breathe anymore he just had to get out. He would always leave without a word to anyone; wander around town for hours and hours.
A few days ago he didn’t come back home and stayed out all night just watching the stars. That night Min Yoongi saw the whole universe moving above his head, a sky freckled with so many stars he didn’t even knew existed. In Seoul the only ‘stars’ you saw were on posters with a twinkling smile. He felt like a small kid who had just seen a real tiger for the first time, except, he has never actually seen one of those either. He has never even been to a zoo or an aquarium, even an amusement park.
On that day, Min Yoongi came to realize how sad his childhood truly was. He was never deprived of any of his materialistic needs. But now that he looks back, a little bit of affection would’ve shaped him into a better human being. He only had a brute for a father and a mother who disappeared from his life, never showed her face again.. He doesn’t really have a fond memory of being happy, like ever and that’s a bit depressing.
Jimin had found him that morning, sitting on a park bench looking all morose.
“Hyung” Yoongi, hearing that familiar voice, had looked back. The boy looked concerned. He always cared too much.
“I watched the stars all night” Yoongi had told Jimin. Jimin sat beside him, a hood over his head and hands shoved deep in the sweatshirts pocket.
“And how’s your ‘path to rediscovery’ going hyung?”
Yoongi had scoffed.
“I’m still looking for inner peace. One of these days I’ll find it.. I think I should just shave my head, it’ll help with the flow of thoughts and new ideas-”
“Don’t worry about that… You dye your hair so much it will fall off on its own.”
They both ended up laughing and sharing a cigarette before walking home together. Another thing Min Yoongi learned that day was the true meaning of ‘Existential crises, as he was standing right in the middle of it.
Yoongi hears the bed creaking behind him, while he’s still staring out, he doesn’t really make an effort to turn and look at the cause of it. He’s more interested in the outside world; the streets down there have turned into a river of dirt, flowing from one street to another.
“Come back to bed” he then hears a sleepy voice behind him. But he chooses to ignore it “Why did you open the window? It’s so cold. Close the window and come back to bed”
He finally turns and looks at the person sprawled on his bed.
Minah sleeps without any manners, she doesn’t sleep on her side she sleeps on both – right in the middle. But that’s not the only problem; Looking at her just brings back the taste of last night’s whiskey and regret in Yoongi’s mouth. He hates that aftertaste; it’s bitter and burns a pit in his stomach. Her face is covered with her long blonde locks and she’s wearing his t-shirt.
He rolls his eyes and walks past the bed towards the bathroom.
Min Yoongi washes up quickly, runs his finger through his messy hair and studies himself in the mirror. He finds a stranger staring back at him: With tired baggy eyes and face covered in fading bruises. His hair is no longer a shade of green, it’s not any shade at all. It’s just black - Plain, colorless black. He can’t remember the last time he saw his hair in its natural form. He noticed how his skin looked too pale under the burning fluorescent light in the bathroom. He looked like he was glowing. It was becoming harder and harder for Yoongi to recognize himself these days.
Yoongi steps out of the bathroom, Minah was still sleeping - thankfully. He looks around for his jacket, finds it under a heap of clothes and exits out of the room.
The moment he stepped out of that room a strong smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air and hit his nose buds. His feet automatically chased the source of it which led him to the kitchen. Jimin sat near the dining table reading a book. He looked up at his hyung once and then went back to reading.
Yoongi found a mug and poured himself some of the bitter caffeine, sat on the chair in front of Jimin and sipped it quietly.
“We have to move” Jimin decides to speak first, snapping Yoongi out of his peaceful train of thoughts. “We’ve been here for almost a month. It’s time to move hyung”
Yoongi brings the cup up to his lips, first taking in its smell and then tasting it slowly. Jimin always made the best coffee.
“Okay. If you want to-” Yoongi said, sounding a wee- bit disinterested.
“Namjoon already bought Yung-shin, his men are looking for us like hounds. Your father is hunting us down too. Ho-seok and I are his top fucking priority right now. We need to move out of here quickly-”
“Have you found Taehyung’s location? Where is that asshole hiding?”
“No, not yet..but don’t worry. We’ll find him soon, he’ll eventually come running back to us hyung. Where else could he go?” Jimin said drinking his coffee, turning his attention towards the book again.
“I’ll make all the arrangements to move out ASAP. We’ll be stronger if we’re together, right?”
Yoongi finished his coffee and got up to leave.
“..Hyung, I need to tell you something else. It’s important.” Yoongi sighed. He was really getting bored of this conversation; one, he was craving a cigarette and two, he promised to see Choi, the old man they owed ten grand to. He and choi were ‘friends’ now, a strange bond formed over drinking together every other day.
He sat down; literally fell on the seat, to show Jimin how disinterested he really was right now.
“What?” Yoongi asked him. Jimin spoke in his body language way louder than his words; Yoongi noticed how he straightened his back and leaned ahead on the table, he looks around nervously, as if looking for the right words to say. He looked like a doctor who was just about to give some really bad news to his patient.
“Hyung..It’s about Y/n.”
Yoongi lazily slumped back on his chair; hearing that name after almost a month, still for some reason brought a burning sensation in his chest. He could feel – no, he could hear something fizzing up inside of him. He buried you, even though you’re alive, he buried you every day.
And it was working too. He was with Minah every night so he could forget your face; he drank every day with Choi because the taste of burning alcohol was still more endurable than you in his head. But now hearing your name again feels like the nails in your coffin that he hammered for past one month are getting pulled out.
“What about her?” Yoongi asks after a small pause, he did his best to hide the growing strain in his voice.
“Hoseok hyung.. is-” Jimin looked so small whenever he had to confess something. He looked like he was 14 all over again.
“Can you be fucking quick about it. I have important business to attend-” Yoongi scolded him.
“Hoseok is there. With Jin and Y/n”
‘What the fuck.’
Yoongi didn’t dare say it out loud. The sole purpose of sending you there with Seok Jin, was to keep you far away from this shit storm. Hoseok was one of the ‘co-producer’ of that shit storm, what the fuck was he doing there? He was dangerous. Not in the sense that he could hurt Y/n, but he could attract people who wanted to.
“He went there looking for Taehyung, turns out Seok Jin and __ were in the same place. They were actually living at his house”
Taehyung was living with Y/n, Jin let it happen. This was a fucking joke, it had to be. It had to be, this didn’t actually happen, did it? Should he laugh? Taehyung was dangerous, in a sense that he could kill Y/n. How Jin could let it happen?
“Hyung,..He stabbed her.”
He heard the door opening behind him, sound of bare feet dragging on the floor. Hold it in he told himself, hold it in Min Yoongi. The urge to completely dismantle this place and run out of here, he was holding it in with all his might, crushing his teeth and hiding his balled fist underneath the table.
“Taehyung? Did it-” Yoongi asked “Taehyung stabbed her” and Jimin nodded.
“You lied when you said you didn’t know where he is? I asked you 5 minutes ago. All this time, you lied to my face-
“Hoseok didn’t want to let you know.” Yoongi kicked the table with his one foot in anger and got up.
“How long did you know? How long have you and Hoseok been in contact?”
“About 2 weeks now”
“-And you’re telling me now?”
“Ho-seok said that he wanted to deal with Taehyung himself. I-
“Who do you fucking work for? Me or Jung “fucking” Ho-seok?”
“Hyung, we need to leave. We’re not safe if we’re miles apart from each other. You can’t protect people by sending them away from you. HYUNG-“
Yoongi was already up and about. As he was about to open the door and run out when a hand landed on his shoulder. He eyed the women from the corner of his eyes.
“Yoongi, are you okay?” Minah asked looking worried.
“Don’t fucking touch me” he snapped at her and she retracted her hand at his warning. And then Yoongi was out in the rain, running somewhere, hoping to find some peace and quiet. His head was screaming again.
Maybe some alcohol could numb it. He needed to see Choi anyways.
He wanted to forget. Forget it all.
…‘Forget’ that he needed you so much right now.