its from step up for the cool cats so the quality is bad

Chapter 1: Prison break (part 2/8)

AU: Takes place after age of Ultron before civil war in an alternate Universe where they were able to get Pietro to a hospital in time revive him. He was dead for a few minutes meaning Wanda still felt the death and reacted as she did killing Ultron before they knew Pietro would live. I brought Spiderman in a little early for fun too. I’m taking a lot of liberties with the cinematic timeline, but I just like using all the characters.

Parts one / three / four / five / six / seven / eight

Warning: violence, language, bad jokes

You stood in the middle of a gym like area. Presumably where the avengers trained. The jet had dropped you directly onto the roof of Stark Tower where Good ole’ Cap was waiting. They gave you some fancier cuffs this time which seemed to repress your powers. As if you would wait until now to make a run for it. If 2 years of prison food hadn’t made you turn tail some weird test of your powers wouldn’t. A red head in a skin tight suit met you and Cap in the gym like room.

“Natasha Romanoff,” Steve gestured to her then to you. “Y/N.”

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“Manos” is NOT the worst movie MST3K ever did

Sorry, but I wouldn’t even put it in the Worst 5. I can watch Manos repeatedly, and have. The movie itself is bad, but fascinatingly so. It has so much to work with, to the point where Rifftrax could re-riff it and do an amazing job. Torgo alone is a wellspring of comedy platinum. And one does have to take into account the context of the film, having not been made by, you know, a fillmmaker.

So what was worse than Manos? Well, I think I need to point out that for me, “worse” in the MST3K sense primarily involves plain old watchability. There’s been some real AWFUL stuff, but there’s usually been something at least unintentionally entertaining to them, something to grab interest and carry me along for the ride. “Worse” movies are the one that give the riffers nothing to work with. Movies that are, more than anything, dull, or just unpleasant (and largely dull). In no particular order:

Rocket Attack U.S.A. - This shameless piece of scare tactic has the double-whammy of being a pro-war “fuck the poor, invest in our nuclear arsenal” screed, and being absolutely boring. It’s no wonder the Brains latched onto the bling guy saying “Help me”, it’s the only piece of interest in the whole damn movie. (Not that that blind guy would get any help under the world the filmmakers wanted.) At least Invasion USA had a lot of really stupid destruction in it. Rocket Attack is mostly just… gray people talking grayly, then everyone dies. Who cares.

Invasion of the Neptune Men - I’ve seen this all of once. It’s all I can stand to. It’s pretty much the only Sci-Fi-era show I can’t bring myself to watch again. It’s Prince of Space without the weirdness, and the weirdness is what made Prince of Space watchable and riffable. It’s a dull repetitive slog. And without the visual insanity of Krankor and the “snappy” dialogue to work with, sadly the Brains fall back on a lot of really mean, hack “har har JAPAN” jokes that were already veering into “going too far” territory in Prince. This one is partly the Brains’ fault, but goddamn if the movie itself wasn’t a black hole to begin with.

Castle of Fu Manchu - Speaking of racism… What happened in this movie? No, really, what? I’ve read recaps. My brain refuses. I have a really hard time with the notion that anyone who watched this episode could then somehow say Manos was worse. Unlike Neptune Men, I’ve tried to rewatch this one and just couldn’t. It’s so boring and nonsensical and poor Christopher Lee just… wasted. Not soused-wasted, I mean you could have had anyone else in that role and it wouldn’t have mattered kinda wasted. This is not helped by it being smack in the middle of a sizable run of the show where I feel the riffing was probably at its weakest post-KTMA, where quantity far outpaced quality.

The Sidehackers - This one’s infamous and rightly so. But even with the rape scene cut out, this movie is just grimy. And that’s all it is. What’s the message? What’s the point? Are we supposed to think sidehacking is cool, in that people involved with it also get involved in murderous rampages that leaves just about everyone dead? The sidehack sequence is a great big pod race, only not as exciting or non-intrusive. The “comedy” is painful, and there’s not enough non-mean, non-vicious, non-scummy weird to latch onto. It’s just a nihilistic deathmarch.

The Hellcats - Now, take The Sidehackers and then remove what little merit that had as a film and just wallow in the grime of a drugged-up biker gang just… doing whatever. Let it glurp into every pore, filling you with the need to remove your skin and start over. This is another I just can’t bring myself to go back to today. I’m sure there’s some scrap of plot, but the film isn’t interesting enough to make you care. And it’s not even like this gang are especially awful. They’re just mid-grade gross, like stepping barefoot onto cold cat puke. Plus there’s Ross Hagen. Ugh.

Eegah! - Speaking of grease… this one just makes my skin crawl. It’s the most rewatchable of the movies on this list, but only marginally, and a good chunk of that is because the Brains were recovering and getting into a good quantity/quality ratio in riffing. Plus there was lots of deserving, well-pointed spite on display towards the terrible, terrible cast. But yeah. I’d easily call this worse than Manos because this one clearly had some budget and some sliver of actual professionalism involved, yet… this is the result. There’s more to latch onto here, but most of it is pretty repellent.

It Lives By Night - Man, what is with the late-60s-early-70s? Doctor Mellow McGoovystache provides some yuks, but this is no Track of the Moon Beast, even if it is kind of the same movie. The “science” doesn’t make any sense, and doesn’t even have the excuse of “weird space shit” or “native people curse legend thing” so it can play by made-up rules. Again… this is just grimy and unpleasant, with the added “bonus” of a cut attempted-rape scene. But unlike The Sidehackers, apparently this scene had literally nothing to do with the plot. The sheriff just tries to rape Kathy and… that’s it. Nothing changes. And when cut from the movie for MST, you’d never notice. Yow.

So, that’s my Hot Take. Got a movie you think is worse than Manos? Why do you think so? Let’s us, won’t us?

Service with a Smile CH 5

A/N: So this chapter is more of a transition chapter- one that will make the next chapter go more smoothly. All  the same, I hope you enjoy it! I’ll try to get CH6 up as soon as possible, but I currently have a lot on my plate, so we’ll see how that goes. :) Thank you for your patience!

CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4

Next: CH 6


Astrid chose not to dwell on any of the events that took place the night prior. As she sat in front of her room’s vanity mirror applying a thin stripe of eyeliner, she was still putting effort into avoiding that particular subject. When her parents poked their heads into her room to question her about her evening at the Haddock’s- seeing as she slept almost as soon as she got back to the hotel- she responded with ‘fine,’ and continued the conversation by discussing other matters.

Perhaps it wasn’t the most effective tactic to use. Astrid was most definitely a girl who favored confrontation over cowardice, but she wasn’t technically utilizing the latter. She already attempted to confront He Who Shall Not Be Named about his particular attitude towards his parents’ remarriage, and that went absolutely wonderfully. Having already tried that, she decided to disregard the situation as a whole. It wasn’t her problem, anyway- and it wasn’t like she needed another thing to worry about and the extra stress that it came with.

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Sweeter     Chapter 2

Adrien woke to the blaring sound of his alarm with a small smile on his lips. He blinked groggily at his phone wondering why he was getting up so early; when he snapped awake excitedly realizing it was his first day back to school. He practically jumped out of bed waking his kawmi.

“5 mooore minnnutes” Plagg complained

“No can do buddy” Adrien replied as he looked around for something to wear “We got to get there early so we can say hi to everyone!”

He decided on a forest green long sleeved shirt and a pair of grey jeans, grabbed a pair of boxers and ran to take a shower.  When he came out of the bathroom dressed and almost ready, having brushed both his hair and teeth he found Plagg half asleep using his breakfast as a pillow.

“Come on Plagg eat up! You never know what the day may bring and I might need you ready for action” Adrian said while tying up his black sneakers.

Plagg woke out of his haze and swallowed his cheese whole than zipped into the backpack Adrien was patiently holding open for him.

“Today is going to be a great day I can feel it!” He smiled widely and went to open his door when he was suddenly faced with Natalie hand ready to knock.

“Oh Adrien” she said slightly surprised. “I’ve come to inform you that your class schedule has been changed, your father felt as though you were taking the easy path through your senior year when he reviewed your choices and has decided to have you take a more serious route instead to better prepare you for college.”  

Adrien huffed and rolled his eyes “Well you can inform my father that in a few months I will be eighteen and he will no longer have a say in the way I live my life. So he better enjoy it while he can.”  He knew it wasn’t Natalie’s fault if anything she had been his saving grace these last few years. But a person can only take so much of being controlled before he starts to fight back. Over the summer Adrien’s “Yes Father” attitude had changed drastically. He was older, on his way to being on his own, and while he loved his father dearly, he couldn’t take being ignored and constrained any longer. In short I guess his rebellious teenager phase was in full swing and being Chat Noir didn’t help keep it in check, in fact it kind of made the whole matter much worse.

“Now Adrien, be sensible, you are only going to make all our lives harder the more you try and fight his… suggestions”

“You mean his orders, his commands?! Ugh sorry Natalie I know it’s not you , just tell him I comply but please also mention, that next time he has “suggestions” on how I live my life he can come talk to me himself”

“You know he won’t like that, and you know how busy your father is.”

“Oh believe me, I know.  I have been hearing how busy my father is for last 8 years of my life from anyone but him…” Adrien mumbled as he shouldered his backpack and went to go meet the car out front.

Grabbing an apple from the fridge and a cheese stick for Plagg he started his lengthy walk towards the front door grumbling the whole way

“Who does he think he is….Easy path… Advance Chemistry and Calculus …. Nope too easy for Adrien… Just cause I decided to take one fucking poetry class… “

“Hey its gonna be okay Kid, you still got me and the suit” Plagg said surprising Adrien with a rare moment of encouragement.

“Did you eat some bad cheese? Are you okay? Were you nice just then or am I dreaming?”

“Shut up or I will bite you! Serves me right being nice to the cocky son of…” Plagg mumbled burying himself deeper in the bag

Adrien couldn’t help but laugh snapping him out of his bad mood. He wasn’t going to let his father ruin a day like today he decided as he stepped into the late summer sun.

————————————————————————————————

Marinette. alarm had been going off for 15 minutes before she finally woke up enough to notice. She moved like she was in quicksand as she went to go snooze her alarm when a red shape snatched up her phone and was trying with all her might to carry it across the room.

“Oh no you don’t, you gotta wake up Marinette, it’s your last first day of school and I won’t have you be late” Tikki said with a strained voice

“uuuuhhhhhhh” she groaned “I’ve been late the last 11 years why should today be any different” she blubbered incoherently

“Because this year is different remember!!” Tikki exclaimed much too loudly for this hour in Marinette opinion. Besides what on earth was she talking about how was this year going to be any different? She going to go class, pass notes with Alya, get pushed around by Chole, stare endlessly at Adri- Marionette gave a small gasp

“Adrien!” She shouted bolting straight up making Tikki giggle.

“Tikki!! Today is step one to the 5 step Adrien Plan!! I’m going to do it this year for sure because I won’t have another year to try, I’m amazed he stayed single this long!”  She threw he covers off and ran to turn off her alarm snatching the phone from Tikki. She opened her checklist app and there it was in bold letters The Adrien Plan.

“ Assistant Tikki!” she sounded like an army general.

“Yes Mademoiselle Marinette.” Tikki resounded like the perfect solider

“Review the Adrien Plan in preparation for today’s events and to rally courage in the troops.”

“Step 1, Talk to Adrien in full comprehensive sentences without stuttering drooling or tripping. Step 2, Ask Adrien about his likes and interests and share your own! Step 3, Invite Adrien on a casual outing involving a common interest! Step 4, Confess feelings! Step 5, live happily ever after/ live with his rejection and move on!!”

Marinette was quite proud of her plan; it had gone through many drafts and updates since she first created it. She was proud of how mature it sounded; after all she was growing up. She had spent the summer really diving into her emotions and thoughts trying to figure out why she was such a mess around the amazing guy. Some days were frustrating cause she felt as though all these years she was getting in her own way, she hated how painfully shy seeing his gorgeous eyes made her; she hated how just his laugh could turn he from cool confidant class president to wordless fool. This time though she had figured it out, she needed to remember that Adrien was just a person, and that she was worth getting to know.

“Alright let us begin preparations for step 1!”

 She picked up her phone and played the most inspiring collection of loud music she could find and started to run in place, bounced a few steps then bolted through her room getting ready for the day while Tikki shouted encouraging phrases in the background like, You are worth it!, You can do this! Who is the Heroine of Paris!? You are!!

After the whole routine Marinette stood in front of her mirror admiring her outfit (which she made special for the last first day of school) she wore a loose fitting half sleeve chiffon shirt in a deep scarlet red with black trim and solid black capris with small ladybug buttons on the rolled up cuffs on her feet she had placed small simple black heels.  She smiled in the mirror admiring her classic pigtails though they had grown out over the years and appreciating the precision of her cat-eye eyeliner.

“You look great.” Tikki smiled alongside her Ladybug

“I feel great Tikki, its subtle enough but it will give me my ladybug courage every time I see my reflection. Thank you Tikki for always being there”

“Anything for you Marinette.” Tikki giggled and nuzzled her chosen’s cheek “We should still get there early so you can say hi and have time for a conversation!”

Marinette. tensed realizing it was all happening her nerves started to bubble in her chest, then she glanced in the mirror saw her ladybug self and took a deep breath, she could do this.

“Ready?” Tikki asked concerned

A nervous laugh escaped her lips “As I’ll ever be”

With that Tikki zoomed into Marinette’s backpack where a small box of shortbread cookies awaited. Marinette took one glance in the mirror along with a second long deep breath “Okay let’s do this!” and charged out the door with a very determined look in her eye much like her alter ego.


**SOME NOTES**

I really wanted to focus on how the characters are growing up and embracing a lot of the qualities we see in Chat Noir and Ladybug because they are learning and discovering how to be comfortable with who they are. I hope that comes across and will to continue to shine through in later chapters! thanks for the follows and favorites its been super fun writing so far :)

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