its flavor

anonymous asked:

dont let anyone ever tell you that flavored lube tastes like whatever its supposed to, all flavored lubes taste like plastic and regret with a pinch of sugar

ive never touched lube in my entire life

ARIES: I heard that somebody with icicles in their chest once told you that spring was only for people that know how to be wanted but they were lying. Hardly anybody takes care of honesty the way that you do and somehow that’s still a surprise. Take the weight of your insecurities and lay them to rest underneath a gravestone. When wildflowers grow from what you buried don’t bother to pick them. They’ll always be there. Don’t you know what it’s like to come back to things? 

TAURUS: The peach pit on your dresser has been sitting there for years and it’s okay that you can’t throw it out yet. Okay that you can’t put it back into the fruit and unbite all of the soft and the sweet and the “maybe this time it’ll be different” that leaked out onto your fingers on the nights that your teeth feel too used to be desired. Wash your sheets and dry them outside. Lay underneath the clothes line and listen. Unclench your fists. Rewrite the grocery list.

GEMINI: It isn’t your fault that not everyone can swallow the parts of you that have sharp edges. You’ve been spending too much time forcing yourself down the linen aisle when you should be finding the nearest comic book store. There’s a reason superman is nicknamed “man of steel” and you deserve all of the iron-throated hearts that you can find. Invest in a metal detector. Don’t be ashamed of what you find.

CANCER: The way you bare your chest to the world is terribly brave and I don’t want you to continue feeling responsible for the people you’ve kissed that have taken advantage of that. Skin-deep damage does not make you unlovable, it gives you new perspectives. Don’t apologize for the ways you have tried to survive this. You’re better than the fires you’ve walked through and the storms you’ve caused. Suck on a peppermint until it loses its flavor. Name the taste after your last heartbreak. Now spit it out.

LEO: Your chest caves in whenever you think about the past and nobody’s ever told you that everything is temporary. Well, honey, I have some news for you. Start checking the mailbox again before the neighbors start to worry. People still want to stain paper with your name and martyring yourself over words is something you’ve become too talented at. Take a break, now and again. Burn the television set if that’s what it takes. Air out the smoke and look into a mirror, admire how powerful you seem as you step out of the haze of what’s gone.

VIRGO: Oh, baby, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve drained the bottles but you’re not the only one who’s felt like this. I know that it’s hard to let yourself feel these things but you have to try, you have to let the light in. It’s so dark in the room you’ve been using to store your regrets and your pallor has become a reflection of the ghosts you’ve been taking orders from. You were made for the sun. Let it kiss you without repercussion. Allow yourself to kiss it back.

LIBRA: So maybe you dropped too many pennies down the wishing well and now your wallet is nothing more than negative space. So maybe you forgot who gave you that good advice that one time and you’re still beating yourself up over it. Go ahead, admit to your faults. Set a place for them at the table and scold them for being late. Eat their portion and kick them out. Being familiar with every side to your geometric personality is not something to be ashamed of. Remember the angles, and keep moving. People like you are not meant to stand still.

SCORPIO: I think that your ears were made for listening to things that break. The shattering of a vase. The cracking of a heart. Does it ever get exhausting to be so awfully aware of how things sound when they forget to function? Nobody expects you to take every smashed hope and piece it together on your own. You are not a bottle of glue no matter how much you feel disaster sticks to you. I promise. You don’t have to carry that toolbox around, anymore. It looks heavy. Set it down.

SAGITTARIUS: You have your father’s mouth and consequently have dreams where you’re ripping it from your face. Somebody told you once that you were inadequate and now there’s a bruise on your ego and you can’t seem to stop touching it. Why are you so obsessed with how long it takes to heal? Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry? Take off your armor and let your skin breathe. There’s still time to be okay with the idea of loss. You’re not too late. You’re not too late.

CAPRICORN: Stop using the word pathetic whenever anybody asks you to describe yourself. The people that hold you accountable for the abuse you’ve endured are the ones that turn away whenever they see it. You don’t need them, you never did. Can you feel that prickling sensation running up your arms? It’s tomorrow knocking and it wants to show you something beautiful. Let it. You’ve handled tragedy, surely you can handle tenderness.

AQUARIUS: You’ve been fucked over so many times it’s hard not to see yourself as a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Dark red bedsheets and rusty doorknobs and a lampshade that hasn’t been touched in a decade or two, this is where you lie and try to erase the memories from your naked body. You don’t want to belong to anybody almost as much as you don’t want people to believe they’ve changed you. They haven’t, you know that right? No matter how many people hike up mount everest it’s still a mountain. It’s still bigger than what’s stepping on it. It still keeps its name.

PISCES: You’ve become so good at sacrificing yourself for the possibility of something worthwhile that your body looks more like an altar than an assortment of bones. If this is your church I hope that your god looks like your nine year old face whenever somebody asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. I hope your prayer sounds like an exhale and that your choir sings in harmony and that every donation tastes like honey. Don’t forget to bow your head every once in a while. Remind yourself of your feet. Of how fast you’re able to run.

—  APRIL HOROSCOPES, 2/30, Caitlin Conlon
2

This animal tastes frightened.

Chopped judge to contestant: Your meat is so undercooked it’s practically raw, your vegetables are burnt, your sauce tastes eerily like cough syrup, and we all saw you spit in our dishes after time was called. I will say, though, your flavors are good

Chopped contestant in post-round interview: I think I have a good chance of moving on

8

VFD in every book | The Slippery Slope

thinking about garrus and shepard in me1, talking late at night over weapon-cleanings or mako repairs when shepard can’t sleep. garrus, the idealistic rookie who wants nothing more than to protect, and shepard, the closest thing to a guiding light he’s stumbled upon

thinking about garrus and shepard in me2, finding companionship in one another after their individual struggles. garrus, weighed down by the lives of the people who trusted him, and shepard, still lost and out-of-place in a world that kept going without her

thinking about garrus and shepard in me3, seeking each other out in moments of solace when the war seems bleak and never-ending. shepard, who keeps pushing herself to do the impossible, and garrus, who just wants to be the light that guides her back home

instagram

WOW…this actually fits perfectly!

hey btw im claiming red velvets red flavor as a new fresh lesbian anthem, hettys stay away…

Sugar Baby Education 101: Wine & Food Pairing

When you are an SB, it is important for you to play the part in your SD’s life, meaning be well educated about things and have proper etiquette and KNOW your wine… or have at least an idea about wine and food paring.

 So here, my hoes a little basic overview (if want to learn more about wine, just google that shit out!)


Just like adding milk into coffee will change its texture and taste; food when interacting with wine will affect its flavor. Different ingredients and preparation methods will bring out different taste sensations with the same bottle of wine.

There are a lot of pairing guidelines, but only one universal pairing principle –

A good pairing is when the food and wine do not overshadow each other. Wine and food can complement or contrast each other, as long as they do not mask each other’s unique flavor and characteristics.

Factors to Consider when Pairing

When pairing food, you are really complementing or contrasting four elements. The way the dish is prepared and cooked will affect these elements:

Body/ weight: heavy, medium, or light-body?
Flavor intensity: weak, moderate, strong?
Aroma: earthy, fruity, grassy, or herbal?
Taste: sweet, spicy, acidic, sour, bitter?

Example 1: Most people prefer pairing Cabernet Sauvignon with steaks because they are both full-bodied, strong flavor, and the protein in the meat will soften the tannin in the wine. A venturing wine lover may pair a red steak with a full-bodied white Roussanne.

Example 2: With spicy, strong flavor Thai dishes, the classic gourmets would go for a Riesling. Its neutrality will complement Thai cuisine’s spices. Its acidity and med bodied will match the weight of the food. A venturing wine lover may pair with Gewurztraminer or Marsanne.

Our Favorite Wine and Food Pairings:

It is not always white wine with white meat… Pinot Noir, Beaujolais, Chianti are few handful reds that pair well with chicken. Below we have listed our favorite pairings as a good starting point:

Western Dishes:

Chicken – Full-bodied whites (Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc) or light reds (Beaujolais, Pinot Noir, Rioja, Chianti)
Foie Gras / Pate - Sweet whites (Sauternes, Riesling Spatlese, Tokaji)
Green Salad – Herby whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Blanc, Sancerre, Pouilly-Fume, Vinho Verde)
Grilled Fish – Light to medium bodied whites (Sauvignon Blanc, Vinho Verde, Chablis)
Pasta (red sauce) – acidic reds (Barbera, Chianti, Zinfandel / Primitivo, Valpolicella)
Pasta (white sauce) – fuller bodied whites (Chardonnay, Viognier, Gavi, Pinot Gris)
Pizza - Sparkling or a fruity red (Prosecco, Barbera, Dolcetto, Valpolicella)
Raw or steamed shellfish – Crisp, acidic wines (Champagne, Sauvignon Blanc, Chablis)
Steak – Full-bodied red (Cabernet, Merlot, Syrah, Malbec, Barolo)

Asian Cuisines:

Chinese – Riesling, Gewurztraminer, Sauvignon Blanc, and Pinot Noir
Japanese Sushi – Beaujolais, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling
Spicy Thai / Indian Curry – Viognier, Riesling, Gewurztraminer, Rousanne

Cheese:

Creamy soft brie or camembert – Champagne, Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, dry Riesling
Strong goat cheese – Sancerre, Sauvignon Blanc, Pouilly-Fume
Hard / Aged cheese – Bordeaux, Cabernet Sauvignon, Brunello, Dolcetto, Merlot, white Burgundy
Semi-hard cheese – Semillon, Rioja
Smoked cheese – Gewurztraminer, Sauternes, Shiraz
Blue cheese – Sauternes, Banyuls, Port, Late harvest wines, Madeira, Amarone;

Last but not least, some PAIRING TIPS:

Acidic wines go well with many dishes. Sauvignon Blanc, dry Riesling, Chianti are great examples. In addition, acidic wines make salty dishes appear less salty.
For fatty food such as foie gras, try Sauternes (an equally rich and intense wine).
For spicy food, try fruity, low-alcohol wines such as Riesling and Gewurztraminer.
Sweet food goes well with a bottle that is slightly sweeter.

Pair complex food with a simple wine. And pair simple food with a complex wine.

Witchy Wonders: Honey

I know that I have not been posting as often as I would like, but I’m super excited to announce the new Witchcraft series I’m starting called ‘Witchy Wonders’. For my very first post, I’m going to be delving deep into the universe of honey. This classic and long-loved sweetener has so many uses and it represents so many things.

- HONEY HISTORY -

The long and rather broad history of honey is actually not as boring as it sounds. Knowing the history of any witchy tool can really help you figure out how it works and how to incorporate it into your craft. In honey’s case, the color really stands out, and oftentimes it is used to represent happiness or prosperity. 

Throughout history, honey has been dubbed ‘of the gods’ and it has also been happily associated with sweet and pleasant things because of its rich, thick flavor. When people had no other kind of sweetener to turn to, honey was their solid rock. Bees thrive nearly everywhere, so it is mentioned in history all over the world. 

Honey began its trek to greatness thousands of years ago, whereas Witchcraft has only been prominently known for around five hundred years. Therefore, it can also be respected for its age and usefulness. 

- HONEY’S COLOR -

The color of honey varies depending on the flowers from which the honey has been derived. If a colony of bees gets their flowers in Autumn, the color of their honey will be much darker than we’re typically familiar with. If the flowers bloom in Summer instead of the later months, you’ll see the more infamous shade of yellow/golden syrup. 

With the usual color correspondences, gold stands for wealth, prosperity, abundance, good luck, and fertility. This makes honey perfect for money magic, as well as magic for general abundance. Since honey’s golden shade also represents good luck, an abundance spell done with honey doesn’t have to be super specific because it already brings good luck. For instance, if you were to do an abundance spell that wasn’t super specific without honey (or another good luck ingredient), then it could bring an abundance of sickness or loss or absence of some sort.

If you have access to some darker, autumnal honey, it can be used for earth magic because of its brownish color. Use it for animal magic, earth magic, spring and summer sabbats, and other such forms of Witchcraft. 

- KITCHEN HONEY -

Using honey in the kitchen can make superbly delicious food, and it can also aid in Witchcraft. When honey is put into kitchen Witchcraft, you can use it so many ways. Add it to your breakfast in the morning for a happy and pleasant day. Dip fruit in it. Mix it with your favorite herbs. The possibilities are nearly endless, considering how many amazing recipes you can find.

Replacing sugar with honey in a recipe will make it closer to the earth and nature itself. Sugar has been refined and processed, therefore reducing its natural Witchcraft uses. Of course, sugar is still good for many spells, but less ideal for earth and nature magic,

- HONEY + HAPPINESS -

For thousands of years, honey has been widely associated with happiness and pleasant feelings. This is because of its wonderfully sweet and syrupy taste. It leaves behind reminiscent feelings of spring and summer, and it marks the memory of nature and the flourishing earth. 

If you’re ever feeling in need of a sugary treat, make something with honey instead of sugar. It will bring you the same happiness without the unhealthy side effects. 

Honey is absolutely perfect for happiness spells to make things just a little bit better. You can also enchant items for happiness using honey and you can place them around your home to radiate positive vibes all day long. Honey is one of the best resources for witches with depression, anxiety, stress, and any other negative feelings. It can help you feel better when you’re feeling down, and it just makes things cheerful.


Whatever you choose to do with honey, it’s always a great tool to have in your witches’ armoire. Without a doubt, honey is the happiest, golden-est, grandest sweetener available for your magic endeavors. Have fun, and happy bewitching!

P.S. Do not hesitate to send me some messages! Questions, requests, and just a little hello sometimes are all welcome. :)

Desire

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: Shoutout to Pia @abovethesmokestacks for beta’ing this <3

Also, I feel like I haven’t written a full-length fic in 57 years??? So, I present to you the worst bj ever written

This is my first “songfic”, feedback would be greatly appreciated. Lyrics are bolded and in italics.

Words: approx 3.3k

Prompt: Based off 50 Cent’s Candy Shop.

Warnings: smut - oral (both receiving), spanking, “Sarge” kink, use of metal appendages, unprotected sex (It wouldn’t be a shock if you wrapped your cock)

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