its been way too long

Amy Schumer: “I’M SUCH A WHORE!! MY VAGINA IS BIG AND HAS LOTS OF FLAPS!! I’M GROSS! LET ME TALK ABOUT HOW BAD MY VAGINA SMELLS!! MEN ARE FUCKING GROSS, RIGHT? LETS GET POLITICAL REAL QUICK! NOM NOM NOM FEED ME DICK AND CUM!!!!”

Amy Schumer: “My special has a 1 star rating because of trolls and the alt-right!!“

AU where instead of going to Samwell, Jack starts a widely successful Publicly Broadcast show for children.

Jack learns that he is great with kids after coaching them for a little over two years. Moreover, kids are good with Jack. There is no pressure to be anything other than who he is.


It all starts with a local news program doing a fluff piece on Jack Zimmermann’s coaching ability. But then it turned into something completely different when Jack skated onto camera and started to introduce every single one of his kids and what was special about them. He was…really enchanting actually. He didn’t ever really talk down to them. Jack just treated them as a tiny friend. 

They ARE his tiny friends, but that’s not the point. 

The footage they got of “snack time” was really the best. Imagine a good 16 kids piled around this massive man teaching them the best way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

 It should have been obvious that a local channel would contact him. It still surprises Jack. They want him to host a show? Why? Everyone always teased him about how impersonable he was during interviews. Is it because he’s Jack Zimmermann’s son? Or Alicia’s? 

Jack asks all of these questions to his mother and she just laughs. “You made a PB&J interesting to 16 kids just by being you”

Jack figures it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot. 

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you’re doing good, but it’s never enough - is it?
you’ve got nothing but heartburn.

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harry’s such an amazing and caring person and i’m so happy and grateful that i get to witness it firsthand?? like everything he does is so that his fans will get the best possible experience?? he lowered his stage so he’d be closer to them… tried to prevent his tour tickets from going to the wrong people… is gonna tour smaller venues for a more intimate experience for both himself and his fans?? and he’s so kind and respectful to everyone he meets like idt you can name a person in the industry or just people in general that have said that harry has acted like he’s above them in some way?? he’s a fucking massive celebrity but he’s still so grounded i’d like to send daily thank you notes to anne for raising such a lovely man

passin’ time