its bad because i laughed

rinse the blood off my space toga

“Can I see? Wait, there’s no shafts? it just.. grows in two colours?”
“Er. Not exactly.”
“The other humans’ plumage isn’t near this bright. Are you a born leader?”
“HAH. no.”
“It signifies caste, then? Or a mating display?!”
“Not even close. I went out and paid an artisan to apply a harsh chemical to rip out my natural colouration, then apply this artificial one.”
“That sounds.. unpleasant.”
“Yeah it burned like a <<dog?>>, my scalp was tender for days after.”
“If it doesn’t create any advantages, what’s the point?”
“Ah, it just looks <<rutting>> <<cold>>. What other reason do we need?”
“..humans are weird. .. .. .. do you think it would work on feathers?”

anonymous asked:

Would you guys be wiling to do one that doesn't have Steve in it but is all about Steve? I'm thinking of Fury's initial meeting w/ Sharon asking her to protect Steve. Then, subsequent meetings where she reports relevant happenings. But since there are no relevant happenings (until TWS), Sharon's reports consist mainly of Steve's general comings and goings, his lame attempts to hit on her, and the embarrassing stuff he does when he's alone.

“Did you think I didn’t know?”  Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I think my recruiter didn’t look into it.  I expected you would know, sir.”  Sharon stood at parade rest, only allowing the slightest twich of her lips towards a smile.  

Fury hummed.  “It’s why you’re here.  And not why you’re here.”

“Sir?”  She liked Suduko, crosswords and thousand-piece puzzles.  Fury was more like one of the Fates speaking in riddles than anything else.  

“I chose you for this assignment because Former Director Carter wouldn’t trust anyone else with this detail.  I also chose you for this assignment because regardless of whose blood you’ve got, you’re the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Sharon let out a slow, steady breath, feeling the tension bleed out of her shoulders.  “Thank you, sir.”

***

Fury was mulling over a stack of paperwork, steam curling from his World’s Best Boss mug that sat at his left elbow. (She was pretty sure it was a gift from Natasha).  

“Your monthly report, sir.”

Fury looked up, and sat back.  “Go on.”

“Exercise commences at 0400 hours each day, and ends at 0600. Grocery shopping every other day, a—“

“—Single or multiple trips?”

“Supersoldiers only need single trips, sir.”

Fury smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Between 1400 and 1600 hours each Sunday he cleans and sings.  He orders take out once each week, only on Saturdays for his weekly movie marathon.  He’s reached the 80s, if I’m not mistaken.  There were a lot of lightsaber noises and don’t-you-forget-about-me’s coming from his apartment last week.  And the joke about his midday coffee run being ‘A mission from God’.”

“Anything unusual or concerning to report?”

“The number of times he’s watched Indiana Jones is concerning.”

“Oh?”

“He was reckless in the field before, sir.  I worry what new ideas he’s been picking up.”

Fury smiled, all teeth.  “This is exactly why I chose you for this assignment, agent.”

One of, like, five situations that immediately sprang to mind after LL#6...
  • (Context: Megatron and a number of his new companions pop back into the primary universe in order to do some stuff and there's a brief teamup w/ Optimus Prime.)
  • Megatron, introducing everyone one by one: And this is Orion Pax...
  • Optimus Prime: I, uh, recognize him.
  • Megatron: ...my conjux.
  • Orion Pax: Hi!
  • Optimus Prime: .......
  • Megatron: ........... *awkward muffled cough*
  • Optimus Prime: Hey, Megatron, excuse me but I have a quick question whAT THE FUCK-
2

I actually had this ‘done’ a few months ago but when I tried to line it properly…it looked bad, so I just gave up on it for a while.

But since drawing’s still difficult for me these days I figured I’d try and fix it up a bit? Colouring is probably the most fun, I swear.

Confession: Tiki is half the reason I started playing Heroes, her design’s way too cute!

I just saw someone with the blog title ‘Connor finished the bleach!’ and… I am so tired of people in this fandom using suicide as a joke. It’s not funny to joke about people killing themselves even if they’re fictional and this fandom does that way too much. There are plenty of people joking about the whole falling out a tree thing, but Evan did that to kill himself and that is not a laughing matter. Don’t erase suicidal behaviour for a cheap joke. I understand most of the people doing this haven’t themselves been suicidal but erasing and laughing about suicide for notes and followers is just sickening.

arcana is fun because I was already picturing my character as kinda short and done with everything

But no one informed me Professional Drama Queen Julian Devorak was a fucking tree

Reading Green but for a Season has made me realize how quickly Damen would have been found out if Laurent hadn’t been there to cover his ass. Like. The man is not subtle at all. He’s just standing in that command tent like he owns it. Like he’s the prince in the room.  Laurent is literally keeping Damen’s secret for him.  

anyone: warren is creepy…. i mean, max even has a bad dream of him. so he’s evil, right?

me, who knows that trauma can make you have nightmares even about the kindest and gentlest people: why you gotta do my boy dirty like this

(61) Gladio’s pick-up lines.

[Spoilers]

Gladio: Bah, who needs the sun? I sure don’t. I’ve got you, Iggy. You’re not only as hot and bright; you also lighten up my whole day.
Ignis: Do I? That’s weird; I still can’t see anything.
Gladio: Not funny, Iggy. :(

jesus fuck i really love him¹

On misamied fandom

You know what’s ironic about the ‘softer’ portrayal of Jeanne Alter as a tsundere perfect ‘wife’ character? Sure, she likes the protagonist, but she canonically wants to be surrounded by a harem of hot guys as an otome heroine. Something completely ignored and overlooked by the fandom, even if it’s her first big re-apparition and in her profile after you unlock the last interlude.

At most the fans (Japanese ones too) pretend she liked the yuri reverse harem option, the fake Brynhild, when in truth she was turned off with the woman’s unwanted advances in the event and this was played for laughs. 

What a beautiful night to see .gifs of Daryl punching Rick right in the face, seeing as I’ve wanted to punch Rick right in the face since “Indifference.” XD

Originally posted by geekylaugifs

okay so AU where Jack’s got MacGyver’s mullet. Literally everything’s the same, except he’s got that horrible mullet

  • Keith: Is that your hand on my ass?
  • Lance: It was an accident.
  • Keith: Lance, your hand's still on my ass.
  • Lance: IT'S STILL AN ACCIDENT!
8

Nivin Pauly + his unfortunate singing escapade
ft. Dulquer Salmaan cracking up on the side