its bad because i laughed

rinse the blood off my space toga

“Can I see? Wait, there’s no shafts? it just.. grows in two colours?”
“Er. Not exactly.”
“The other humans’ plumage isn’t near this bright. Are you a born leader?”
“HAH. no.”
“It signifies caste, then? Or a mating display?!”
“Not even close. I went out and paid an artisan to apply a harsh chemical to rip out my natural colouration, then apply this artificial one.”
“That sounds.. unpleasant.”
“Yeah it burned like a <<dog?>>, my scalp was tender for days after.”
“If it doesn’t create any advantages, what’s the point?”
“Ah, it just looks <<rutting>> <<cold>>. What other reason do we need?”
“..humans are weird. .. .. .. do you think it would work on feathers?”

anonymous asked:

Would you guys be wiling to do one that doesn't have Steve in it but is all about Steve? I'm thinking of Fury's initial meeting w/ Sharon asking her to protect Steve. Then, subsequent meetings where she reports relevant happenings. But since there are no relevant happenings (until TWS), Sharon's reports consist mainly of Steve's general comings and goings, his lame attempts to hit on her, and the embarrassing stuff he does when he's alone.

“Did you think I didn’t know?”  Fury raised an eyebrow.

“I think my recruiter didn’t look into it.  I expected you would know, sir.”  Sharon stood at parade rest, only allowing the slightest twich of her lips towards a smile.  

Fury hummed.  “It’s why you’re here.  And not why you’re here.”

“Sir?”  She liked Suduko, crosswords and thousand-piece puzzles.  Fury was more like one of the Fates speaking in riddles than anything else.  

“I chose you for this assignment because Former Director Carter wouldn’t trust anyone else with this detail.  I also chose you for this assignment because regardless of whose blood you’ve got, you’re the only one I trust with this assignment.”

Sharon let out a slow, steady breath, feeling the tension bleed out of her shoulders.  “Thank you, sir.”

***

Fury was mulling over a stack of paperwork, steam curling from his World’s Best Boss mug that sat at his left elbow. (She was pretty sure it was a gift from Natasha).  

“Your monthly report, sir.”

Fury looked up, and sat back.  “Go on.”

“Exercise commences at 0400 hours each day, and ends at 0600. Grocery shopping every other day, a—“

“—Single or multiple trips?”

“Supersoldiers only need single trips, sir.”

Fury smirked and sipped his coffee.

“Between 1400 and 1600 hours each Sunday he cleans and sings.  He orders take out once each week, only on Saturdays for his weekly movie marathon.  He’s reached the 80s, if I’m not mistaken.  There were a lot of lightsaber noises and don’t-you-forget-about-me’s coming from his apartment last week.  And the joke about his midday coffee run being ‘A mission from God’.”

“Anything unusual or concerning to report?”

“The number of times he’s watched Indiana Jones is concerning.”

“Oh?”

“He was reckless in the field before, sir.  I worry what new ideas he’s been picking up.”

Fury smiled, all teeth.  “This is exactly why I chose you for this assignment, agent.”

greenhouse-nurse  asked:

Ok, so imagine this. Lance is dizzy because of a fever and has collapsed and while everyone's fussing over him while he's on the ground (still a little too weak to stand up) he giggles and is like "i guess you could say that" hunk is like lance no and then lance says "down with the sickness" and almost everbody is like lance stop, but keith just starts laughing because its so bad but its funny. ((I just wanted to make bad jokes tbh))

Omg, lol. I love this. I imagine Hunk dropping him back on the ground like “he’s fine” and Pidge being like “I think we all need a healing pod because we’re sick of your shit”

Keep reading

SHISHISHISHI I FOUND SOMETHING FUNNY!!!!!!

asksmoyan LOST HIS SMOKES!!!!!! 

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

8

Nivin Pauly + his unfortunate singing escapade
ft. Dulquer Salmaan cracking up on the side

3

@simple-symphonia iM SO SRY I JSUT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH U BCAUSE YOU’RE REALLY COOL IM SOR RY

beta kids wearing disgustingly embarrassing shirts i either owned or wanted to own when i was 13

rose: go crazy and kill everyone
dave: you call me weird like its a bad thing
jade: fake and gay
john: you laugh because i’m different, i laugh because you’re all the same

god that was physically fucking painful to type out goodbye

okay so AU where Jack’s got MacGyver’s mullet. Literally everything’s the same, except he’s got that horrible mullet

rivergum  asked:

like a lot of people who can probably relate, I have some forms of mental illness that leave me feeling Not Great, but your FUCKING BLOg IS LIKE A LITERARY DOsE OF VITAMIN D and EVERY TIME you are online or I see another post I feel so much better. So thanks for being you. Thanks so much. You help, just by doing that.

oh man. listen. LISTEN. you matter to me. all of you matter to me, okay?? whenever things feel really hard, whenever they feel Not Great, please know that you matter to me. i’m not a perfect person, and you are not perfect people, but together we’re all just trying our best.

i believe in all of you. i want you to be happy, but i still believe in and care about you when you’re not. okay? okay? and i’ll do my best to make you laugh even when it’s really, really hard.