its also 2 in the morning and i was being really loud but i dont care

{Special} College!Mark Tuan

[warning: alcohol mention // hookups] 

  • major: english language 
  • minor: entrepreneurship 
  • sports: basketball team
  • clubs: he was part of a dance team for a while, but now he’s really into graffiti so he does that in his free time instead
  • mark is the laid back, chill person in class that everyone likes and doesn’t really know why ?? like he just his this kind of aura that pulls you in
  • chose english as his major because he kind thought it’d be easy but has actually come to really like it. like the buttload of reading and essays every two weeks makes him wish he’d never bothered but he’s learned a lot and now he goes everywhere with a book
  • skateboards and reads at the same time and bestfriend jackson is like !!!!!! you’re gonna fall !!!!!! maRK !!!!! MARK!!!!!!!!
  • he kinda has this dream that he doesn’t tell anyone about but basically he’s into street art and graffiti and he’s customized a couple of peoples skateboards like taehyung for example and he’s even done designs on the walls of stores downtown and he kinda hopes he can make a career out of it even though everyones like “you wanna make a career out of graffiti? you’re joking right?”
  • thats why he took the minor in entrepreneurship because he’s kind of too shy to ask anyone if they’d be willing to help him out with starting a business 
  • aside from academics though he’s super popular because he’s the point guard for the uni’s basketball team and like whenever he’s at practices or sitting on the quad eating lunch some freshman runs over blushing and hands him confession letters or asks for his number 
  • and he always feels bad and accepts the letters and gives out his number like it’s hot pancakes so buddies bambam and yugyeom always have to get him out of these situations by being like “oH mark dropped his phone in the pool yesterday SORRy!!” or “wow he’d love to give you his number but he never remembers it RIGHT MARK”
  • and after marks like sorry guys and they’re like hYUNG gET Yourself together you can’t always be super nice!! and mark shrugs and just kind brushes it off because he’s like “i dont wanna ruin anyones day! i just want good vibes all around.”
  • mark is literally the campus “good vibes, handsome face” prince
  • skates around high-fiving everyone and sometimes you can catch him sitting in the gym when no ones there reading kafka and dozing off he’s cute y’know
  • so how do you cross paths with the chillest person on campus??? well see you’re the RA (resident assistant) for the new co-ed dorm that just opened this semester and because it’s mixed girls/guys the college is super strict on rules off staying out and sneaking in
  • and so you’re sitting at your spot at the elevators flipping through your notes but not studying when you hear the elevator ding and you look up and there’s this boy
  • and he’s got like a mask hanging from around his neck and a duffel bag over his shoulder and his hairs a mess and there’s something that looks like pain splotches all over his oversized shirt and like
  • he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights and you just sigh and get up and you’re like “do you have your uni id?” and he’s like………”um……listen can you pretend like you never saw me?? please??” 
  • and you’re tired and this boys cute and you consider letting him off but you’re like “sorry, you know i can’t. what’s in the bag?” and the boy bites his lip and he’s like “it’s just cans….” and you’re like “cans??” and he’s like “spray-paint cans….” and you’re like “spray paint??” and he’s like like he flashes you a smile but you’re like …………looking at him and he’s like “the smile didn’t work?” and you roll your eyes but you’re also like
  • “if i tell the residence board that you snuck in here at 2am with a bunch of spray cans, you’ll probably get switched out of this dorm you know that right?”
  • and he nods really fast and you sigh and you’re like
  • “ill tell them you were late for curfew, but i wont say anything about the cans - ok? so show me your id.” and the boy like passes you the card and you look at it and you’re like
  • “ok mark tuan, im sorry i have to report your lateness so get back to your room and don’t think of sneaking out again.”
  • he smiles as you pass him the card back and this time it actually kinda like makes your heart jump and he like makes his way down the hall but turns to look back at you but you pretend to busy yourself 
  • you don’t see but mark kinda grins to himself before going inside and his roommate jackson jumps on his ass like WHY YOU SMILING BRO and mark’s like SHUT IT ITS 2 AM
  • a couple of weeks pass and you like forget about mark tuan tbh and you’re at the mandated floor party that the other RA’s decided to throw and like honestly you didn’t want to go but free food and free drinks and like for once you don’t have to stay up patrolling the floor and dying of boredom 
  • so at first it’s fun you’re talking to other RA’s and to people in your major when suddenly it seems like the whole dorm + the other dorms is at this party and the music is loud and you like decided “you know - i deserve to let loose”
  • and so you do !! you have fun dancing and before you know this cute guy with blonde hair in his eyes and a gorgeous smile is dancing along with you and you know
  • one thing leads to another and somewhere in between you two are kissing and he’s holding you around the waist and like !!! the other RA’s are cheering you on and wolf-whistling as you get pulled out of the party and toward the guys room
  • and it’s consensual a little dream-like because you don’t care enough to ask his name but like it’s a GOOD TIME 
  • the morning comes though and you’re like waking up in a bed that is not yours with strong arms around you and someone softly breathing against your neck and you’re like OH 
  • and your heads a little heavy but you’re also like,,,,,,i have class at 10 i GTG FAST
  • so you carefully try to slide out from the persons hold and you successfully do so unTIL you put your foot down and practically fall face first over something and you like catch yourself but you’re like ow and you’ve awaken the other person and you look up to see a sleepy boy
  • and he’s like rubbing at his eyes and he’s got cute blonde bed head and heS SHIRTLESS OK bUDDY
  • and he’s like “did you trip over my board?” and you’re like ummmmmmm (you did but like who wants to admit that in front of the person they just hooked up with????) 
  • and he laughs and it’s such an adorable laugh and you like scurry to grab your shirt off the floor and he’s like “you don’t want to stay for breakfast?” and you’re like “i REALLy should GO HAHAHA…” trying to simultaneously sound casual and hide your red face but the guy just laughs again and he’s like
  • “c’mon RA, let me treat you to a bagel and some coffee?” and you look up and you’re like “…….did you call me RA?” and he grins and points to his face like “remember me?”
  • and it takes you a second to like calm yourself from embarrassment and all that and when you get a good look at him you’re like
  • it’s 
  • mark
  • tuan
  • and you’re like “……………you’re the guy i reported………” and he chuckles like “yeah i am. but you didn’t tell the resident board about my graffiti so it’s chill. as you can tell, i was not kicked out.”
  • and you’re like speechless and you’re not sure what to say you’ve never really hooked up with someone you reported for being past curfew before and so you kind of sit there on his dorm floor holding your shirt
  • but it’s mark tuan so he just smiles calmly and gets up and you shield your eyes and he’s like “hey, it’s nothing you haven’t seen.” and you’re just like akdghoewe shut up do Not remind ME 
  • he leans down to offer you his hand and you take it shyly and he like picks you up easily off the ground and pulls you against him by the waist and you’re like 
  • eep,,,,,um,,,i need to put on my ,,,,,,, shirt
  • and he is so so so SO handsome up close with half-lidded eyes and a sharp jawline and lips you remember kissing and you’re just so tempted to kiss them again
  • and he’s like “so, RA, what will it take to make you go on this breakfast date with me?”
  • and you’re like “i………class……………ten…….um….” and mark’s like “so you have a class at ten? ok, ill let you go this time. but you will owe me a date - ok?” and you nod just because you really don’t know what else to do in this situation and he grins and lets you go and you get dressed and say a shy goodbye as mark sits in his bed watching you and you like dash out the door at the speed of light
  • lmao jackson waiting outside the door: “heY aren’t you our RA??” and you’re like “UM NO I DONT EVEN GO HERE BYE”
  • you get to your class on time thank u god but your friend is like “you have a hickey the size of a damn baseball on your neck dude” and you’re like gOD MARK TUAN I HATE YOu (no you don’t you really don’t)
  • and it’s when your back on RA duty (wearing a scarf around your neck and glaring @ anyone who has anything to say about it) that you see mark again
  • this time he’s got a stack of books under hand as he comes out of the elevator and he’s reading one of them and you’re like please don’t notice me.,please don’t notice me,,,please don’t-
  • but he looks up and grins and comes over and he’s like “how was class?” and you’re like “fine!!” but also like in your head you’re like: stop. sounding. so. damn. excited. that. he . talked. to. you.
  • but mark just tilts his head and he’s like “are you gonna come to the big basketball game this friday?” and you’re like “yeah, ofc we’re going up against the rivals of our uni i have to go.” and he’s like “cool, ill wave to you from the court.”
  • and with that he winks and you’re like ???????? but then you’re like Wait………mark tuan…………AS IN STAR BASKETBALL POINT GUARD MARK TUAN and oh my god you’re having so many realizations in this moment 
  • at the game you’re sitting in the bleachers and you’re still like “no. it’s not him. it’s a coincidence-”
  • and then the players come out and theRE he IS and you’re like oh MY GoD I rePORTED the TOp ATHLETE in OUR SCHOOL FOR BEing LATE and THen HOOKEDU P WITH him and you’re just like ?!?@?!?@!@!? and mark oh-my-god tuan spots you in the crowd and winKS LIKE he promised he would 
  • and your friend is like WHAT DID HE JUST WINK AT YOU
  • and you’re like “……..i can’t believe this but……..yes……”
  • and the whole game your head is still spinning about all of this and when mark shoots the winning score everyone goes crazy and your friend literally has to like pull you up to clap but like then mark is running over to your side of the court and he’s running up the bleachers and people are yelling and patting him on the back and he’s just running and stop right infront of your row and reaches out to grab you
  • and that’s how you get a victory kiss from mark tuan and it leaves you feeling even more dizzy, but also like you kiss back because DUH it’s MARK TUAN
  • and he presses his forehead to yours and grins and all the other players on the team are like MARK GET IT and it’s just like a damn dream
  • you bet you say yes when mark’s like “wanna come over again, RA?” and you’re like don’t call me RA and he chuckles and you guys get out that gym faster than anyone has ever seen before
  • and this time it’s not a hook up. it’s something more and so it’s slower and more romantic
  • and mark whispers against your ear that if you’re unsure you two can stop but you’re like i want this and you know it’s just
  • it’s just better when you’re both aware of each other and each others bodies
  • and mark is sweet and gentle and you’re like falling more and more
  • in the morning you actually wake up and snuggle into mark’s hands and he’s like sleepily like “hey,,,,,,,,,,RA,,,,” and you’re like “mark…….” and he laughs and says your name this time and he’s like “do you wanna go out?” and you’re like “you mean date?” and he’s like “yeah……can you since you’re my RA and whatever?” and you’re like “probably not but……im sitll gonna date you.” and he laughs and kisses your forehead and he’s like “whose the rule breaker now?” and you hit him playfully but it’s nice and giggly
  • when jackson finds out you’re dating mark (which it becomes obviuos because instead of going out to shoot hoops with jackson he’s standing at the elevators flirting with you all the damn time) jackson is like “SOOO you’re with Marky boy?” and you’re like “Marky boy?” and jackson like yeah that’s what i call him and you’re like OH 
  • and so now whenever mark calls you ‘RA’ as a joke you’re like “You think you’re funny, MARKY BOY?” and he’s like JACKSON 
  • you finally get around to asking mark what he was doing getting in so late with cans of spray paint when you first meet and he’s like “i was doing a peace for this guy downtown who owns a gallery.” and you’re like “a piece?” and mark shows you like this binder where he keeps photos of all the graffiti he’s done on walls, on bikes, on peoples skateboards and you’re like “mark?? this is amazing?? why isn’t art your major??” and he kinda laughs and he’s like “it’s all silly, you know - like it’s not a living.” and you’re like “with talent like yours i think it could be.”
  • and you’re the first one mark tells about his idea for a business later on where he does custom pieces on peoples boards and bikes and he gets excited talking about it and you can see how much he loves it and you’re like “you should do it. honestly. i believe in you.”
  • and when you say that, like that you believe in him, mark just leans in and kisses you sense less to the point where you fall over and he’s like still kissing and you’re like !!! and he’s like “i love you, like you don’t even know.”
  • sometimes when he gets commissioned to do pieces on walls or on storefronts you go with him and like you can’t do much but pass him cans and clean off his sweat every now and then but mark appreciates you being there so much
  • and there’s that side to mark the kind of wild edge of graffiti and skating and going to parties together and what not but you also have
  • his quiet, focused side like when he sits against a tree on the quad with his board beside him and a book in his hands and he looks so serene and beautiful you almost feel bad for disturbing him
  • but whenever you come by he smiles this kind of smile that’s so genuine and only for you that you can’t help but be addicted to it and him,,,,,,
  • mark gets a job to do a skateboard design for a company and he gets stuck on inspiration but then he sees you and you’re just writing some notes down, laughing at something on your phone and he’s like “i know what to design.”
  • he makes a beautiful piece that involves like elements that remind him of you, beautiful nature and glowing bright colors and when the company asks what the name of the design should be he says your name
  • and you don’t find out until youngjae shows you the board in a magazine and you turn to mark with your jaw dropped and he just sheepishly looks down like “what?” and you just tackle him in a hug and youngjae is like LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL 
  • “mark write your essay.” “but i want to kiss your face instead?” “ill let you kiss my face if you write your essay.” “but i want to kiss it now?” “mark, you sound like bambam right now do the essay.” “wow sheesh thanks for insulting me like that.”
  • bambam somewhere on campus: “i can sense something is. Wrong.”
  • when you have RA duty it gets boring but mark sends you funny photos of himself and of the basketball team members but your favorite of all time is that time when mark caught jb singing along to brittney spears in the locker room and he recorded it and sent it to you and you were like dying of laughter
  • mark lets you wear his basketball jersey when you stay over at the dorm 
  • you and mark cuddled together in his bed reading together and jackson walks in, makes a face, and is like “i should report this to the RA.” and you’re like “BOY I AM THE RA” and jackson is like rip and mark is like :-P
  • every time mark and you disagree on something he’s like “remember that time you reported me YOUR BOYFRIEND to the residents board because i came in late.” and you’re like “remember that time we hooked up and i tripped over your damn skateboard because you left it right in front of your bed like a genius?” and it’s silly and you can never argue for real because you both use that on each other and start laughing your heads off
  • sweaty mark after practice licking his lips and motioning for you to come down from the bleachers and the rest of the basketball team is like …..ooooooooooo we better goooooooo……..
  • jinyoung policing you and mark’s PDA when you go out together like “holding hands is ok but if i see you two smooching out here like it’s some kind of -” “jinyoung it’s 2016 did you just say smooching?”
  • dating english major mark who cutely highlights quotes in books that remind him of you and skates around in front of your building till you get out of class just so he can walk you to your next one and like you are the one person he can always go to for support with his art and anything else
  • and it’s just nice you two become so important to each other 
  • jackson: mark spray paint your significant others name on the library wall so everyone knows you really love them
  • mark: ok i w-
  • you: NO YOU WONT WE WILL BOTH GET IN trouBLE jaCKSON SHUT your MOUTH
  • mark wanting good luck kisses before games even if it means that you send him a photo of you doing a kissy face because you’re on RA duty during a game LOL

find college!vixx (here) , college!bts (here) & [not complete] college!svt (here) 
find special college!jb (here)
and please look forward to more college!seventeen + special college!aus

breathejessica  asked:

What are we supposed to do when we just give up? I don't even care about myself anymore, my last daddy made sure of that.

Your last “daddy” was most likely an abusive scumbag that didnt deserve you then. 


But theres hope. Because you are beautiful, and the fact that you are reaching out means you haven't given up… which also means you haven't failed.

Allow me to put you back on the road to recovery of both your confidence and your self image, and if you do as I say… it may just change your life.

1.) Stop looking for a daddy dom. 

….and dont look again until you are absolutely confident that you have successfully gotten through the following steps.

2.) download the booster buddy app from the app store.

 In addition to giving you reminders to take medicine, eat, drink… do normal basic things. You can also get loads of daily encouragement and have a digital stuffie to play with, dress up and make your own. You are never alone… booster buddy will make sure of that.

https://mistersbeard.tumblr.com/post/140463466758/mistersbeard-todays-topic-useful-apps-to

3.) begin a success journal.

It sounds like you are at the bottom, so the only direction now is up. Create a success journal and tell your booster buddy to remind you to write in it. Every day mark your accomplishments down… which it seems like you will have many. Got out of bed? success. brushed your hair instead of just throwing it up? success! ate a decent meal? success! Cant remember what your successes were for the day? Booster buddy will let you know… including the water you drank, the physical activity you engaged in.. etc.

Then every morning when you wake up, look back on the previous days successes. 

https://mistersbeard.tumblr.com/post/162149287473/the-success-journal-there-are-times-in-our-lives

4.) Reflection 

You have probably been conditioned to think you are ugly or gross or whatever.,.. i get it. You were abused, but that person only has the amount of hold on you now that you allow them to. They hurt you, abused you and then abandoned you. So why do they still deserve your feelings and emotions?

This requires diligence and practice. 

Every time you pass your reflection, give yourself a good compliment. Doesnt necessarily have to be about your physical appearance. Though it should be often that you do, because as I said, you are beautiful. I would probably date you. Be mindful of the compiments you give yourself and if you cannot think of anything, open up your success journal and look at what you accomplished so far or yesterday.

“You helped that old man pick something up off the ground” - You’re awesome and helpful and he appreciated it.

“You tried a new food you were scared of” - way to go on being strong. because you are strong.

“You got a second look from that boy at the pretzel place in the mall” - you look fantastic in those jeans and your butt is amazing.

We dont even realize the small things in our lives that we could compliment ourselves on until its all laid out in front of us and we really think about it.

5.) filter out the negative

You have “those” people in your life. the ones who seem like friends but make you feel bad about yourself. the ones who get you into mild trouble. the ones who are constantly complaining, or talking bad about others, or just generally not improving your life in any way. When someone finds out they have cancer they take strides to get that cancer cut out, when you have friends that are cancerous to positive growth in your life.. you need to cut them off.

Cut them off. Because otherwise its like a bunch of junkies huddling around a crack pipe.

They may seem like all you have…It may be one of the hardest things you do, but sometimes its ok to be alone. Because when the noise is gone, you can focus on the calm and actually be awakened to whats around you. If you concentrate and focus enough, you may just notice that one person in the corner or off to the side that’s always there, offering you a snickers or asking how your day was. And maybe… just maybe they’re not just being nice, but would make a really awesome friend.

when you make that awesome friend or give them a try, write it down in your journal… compliment yourself in the mirror because you would have never done that before, and then let your booster buddy know so they can celebrate with you.

6.) Realize that mistakes are not failures

They are simply roadblocks to success.Mistakes are the main ingredients in the recipe of success. You never fail until you’ve given up trying. Mistakes help you get better, be stronger, and grow.

Take the positives out of your mistakes and discard the negatives. Apply those positives to tomorrow to help you either not make that mistake again, or handle it better the next time it comes. Make it your mantra… “Mistakes are not failures” every time you encounter one. Repeat it out loud. Write it down. Embrace it.

7.) Follow these steps for 2 months or more. 

Look… the only one who is really going to change your life is you.

You either want to be better and have a better life, or you want to lay around in your complacency blaming others and wallowing in your pity party. Which will you do the rest of the year?

If you want to be happy, you can be. Thats your choice though.

Be diligent with the steps I have provided. Work hard at your own self and stop putting yourself into others who don’t deserve you. Realize that you are a precious princess and you deserve to be happy… AND STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU DON’T.


Follow the treatment plan I have laid out for you.. and in a few months I will look forward to a pm from you telling me how drastically better your life is and how happy you are.