its all about how you feel

I really wish sites like allkpop would stop posting things talking about how some Onew fansites closed down. Like yes some did, but most of them gave other reasons besides the whole controversy going on right now. Others are just on a break until things clear up and they have every right to do that. Stop trying to scare people and make them more anxious and upset than they already are

anonymous asked:

My question is: why is 3/4 of the yoonkook tag top yoongi? I have nothing against it but some people are so aggressive about him being a top that I got uncomfortable reading them like this. I mean, sure it's a possibility but it's all you see in fics. How are readers/writers not curious to try something different? I have started reading so many good fics that ended up being top yoongi, I'm losing faith. Last week I discovered Reckoning and god bless wickedqriosity. Redolent is now a fav.

This. I actually took to saving every fic I could find that had bottom!Yoongi and top!Jungkook, not only so i have good reference to come back to it (you can see my fic rec HERE), but also to show everyone just how unbalanced the fics really are. In the AO3 SugaKookie tag there is currently 2,530 fics. I personally went through each page, skimmed each fic that didn’t mention who topped or bottomed in the tags and walked away with only a measly 275 fics. That hardly even makes a 3/4th fraction. 

And it’s true, I’ve run into so many people who are very rude and mean about someone liking bottom!Yoongi in the YoonKook pairing. I don’t understand why people are so mean about it. The only conclusion I could come up with on why people are so adamant about top!Yoongi is because of him being a mere 4 years older than Jungkook. I can’t tell you how many fics I go through where their age is made an issue. A lot of people bring it up as “Jungkook learns Yoongi is 4 years older than himself, OH NO HE IS SO OLD.” And I roll my eyes so hard it hurts. 

In a perfect world we would have a nice even half and half of top and bottom!Yoongi in the YoonKook tag, but until then I will try my best to close the gap. I will continue to promote bottom!Yoongi in SugaKookie and hope that it gets more love! One day we will have a good half and half selection for all tastes in the SugaKookie tag!

Also, yes! Wickedqriosity is amazing, and I love their works so much ;~; I’m eager for a new update from them!

moltengoldichor  asked:

okay, but have you seen that thing in the extra content abt kevin having the best grades in the foxes and aaron having second-best (i swear this is impossible, when does that boy sleep), and aaron is still bitter abt kevin having better grades, so bitter, he will never let it die, but also sometimes aaron tells kevin to go to sleep and calls him a moron and kevin squints suspiciously up from his essay and says this is aaron trying to sabotage his grades and all i know is that they're in love

     listen i could go on and on about how worried i am about kevin (for 2 yrs of hs there was a 3 month period in which i was in two sports while preparing for midterms for 5 ap classes. i can imagine the feeling of Imminent Death that comes with doing sports + academics) but let’s talk about kevin and aaron being bitterly competitive about academics

aaron: what the fuck are you doing its like 2am go to bed you idiot 
kevin, surrounded by 3 mugs with varying levels of coffee, leg bouncing a mile a minute, 2 notebooks and a textbook open with a pen behind each ear: i have a test in 7 hours and 23 minutes and i’m acing the fucker if it kills me
aaron: is this because nicky put my last test on the fridge and i got 3 points higher than you did
kevin: ………………….if you value your life you will Leave Me To My Studies

i will say regardless of how i feel about the quality of ootb i am always amazed and so damn proud of the fact that it usually makes it into the top 5 and im not sure how many of its readers even follow this blog but thank you for making that happen

anonymous asked:

I have a feeling the first clip snake thing is to get everyone riled up. How many of us actually think she wrote a snake themed album or even a song about a snake lol. It's more a power play. Oh what you thought i was over. See how I command everyone's attention w a single clip. She's a BOSS and making sure everyone knows even her haters

oh, she’s def got everyone’s attention. maybe its not a snake at all. maybe it’s the tail to some other creature or something and  shes’s just being a tease right now making people think its a snake.

anonymous asked:

Hi there, just wanted to ask, i have been feeling a bit unsure about my transition, i think that having a top surgery would have make me feel like i am finally being myself, the problem is that i would still like to be her not him, only with a flat chest, do you think its okay to feel this way ?

Lee says:

Yes, it’s okay to feel that way! Pronouns don’t have anything to do with what your gender expression is, or how you’d like to medically transition. But not all top surgeons will accept that; some like Dr. Steinwald probably would be okay with it, but some other surgeons may want you to identify as trans-masculine. 

You might need to get a letter from a therapist saying you are ready to get top surgery if you don’t go to a top surgeon who does informed consent.

kellanoe  asked:

I was sick recently and while I was sick, I wasn't able to stay awake at all, I would only be able to stay awake for a little more than 3 hours a day before I'd fall back to sleep for the rest of the day and all through the night until about the same time as the day before, what did I have?

Fatigue, but that was very likely a symptom / consequence of the sickness itself, and not the sickness per se.

It is common when sick that you feel very tired – it’s how your body saves energy to get back to normal while it does its “immune system” thing.

anonymous asked:

Hello, how do I tell my boss I have been attempting suicide?

Hey there lovely,

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low. The first thing you need to know is that you are absolutely under no obligation to tell your boss about your mental illness, let alone your suicide attempts. If you need sick leave, all you are obliged to say is that you need time off for your mental health, and if a doctor’s note is required, ask them to sign you off. So please only tell your boss if you’re comfortable! 

In terms of telling your boss, my tips would be: 

  • Write down exactly what you want to say. You could even just write them a letter and hand it to them. 
  • Schedule a meeting with them and say that you specifically need to talk about something personal, in private. It may help to tell them that it’s your mental health you want to speak about. 
  • If you are a member of a union, it may help to have your representative with you. You’re also entitled to have somebody else there with you for comfort and reassurance. This could be a colleague, even somebody from the HR department.
  • Know your rights. Know that you don’t have to tell them anything, and they cannot discriminate against you for this, that is illegal. You cannot lose your job for this or be demoted. You can only lose pay once you’ve received all your statutory sick leave. 
  • You may be asked to get a second opinion from a therapist employed by the company. Your boss is allowed to do this. Your boss is not entitled to be present at the appointment or force a time, etc. This is on your terms as long as you fulfill the requirements, ie actually attend an appointment. The therapist is not allowed to share anything confidential.
  • Depending on what country you’re in and the kind of company you work for, they may be able to offer you treatment through the company. You do not have to accept it (but it may be an idea as this treatment is usually high quality!). Again, the person treating you is not allowed to share any confidential information about you.

Disclaimer: any legal advice given is my own general knowledge, I am not a professional and this may differ in your own country. Please always check with a professional.

In terms of feeling so low, here’s a little bit of advice about how to cope with feeling suicidal: 

  • Remember there are always reasons to stay. This life is worth living. 
  • Reach out. There’s love in your life in the most unexpected places. 
  • Get professional help, if you can. It really is worth it and I would never encourage facing mental illness alone.
  • You are valued. You are worth it. You have so much potential, you are talented and I promise you, you are going to find success and fulfillment in life. You will learn to love yourself someday, and you’ll realise how loved you are.

It’s going to be okay, lovely.

Caitlin x

anonymous asked:

If you haven't made this set already, could you make a gif set of all the times Cas is there for Dean with mental health stuff? I feel like the writers messed up when Dean went to talk to Cas about Mary, because he dismisses the issue instead of offering consolation like he has in the past. (That or he's done playing the therapist because he's not in a good place either, idk?) Thank you ❤

I pondered this for awhile and spent a lot of time reviewing episodes with Cas and Dean interactions, and I actually don’t think it’s entirely out of character. There are times when Cas is not comforting. That’s partly due to him being an angel and human ways and emotions used to be alien to him (and still sometimes are). And sometimes it’s because he has his plate full of his own shit (like in s6 for example). And I think him being distracted in s12 (coupled with the fact that he has no mother and no way to relate to Dean’s problem), I don’t think it was all that out of character when he dismissed the Mary issue. That said, there are plenty of times Cas is there for Dean, emotionally-speaking, so please enjoy the gifset. :)

i feel as though hellenism is different from any other religion in the sense that, the gods speak to those and those they speak to or contact in any way have different interpretations of them. and that they’re all unique and apart of the experience of being hellenic.

it isnt about reading the myths that have so many different tellings. it’s about finding out for yourself and the truth that you believe. it is how the gods present themselves to you that matters- not the myths that have been mutilated throughout history.

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Matt insisted on putting the glow in the dark stars up. :)

8

times have changed

Do you know what pisses me off the most about the dreaded “Autism Moms”?

Let me tell you, as an autistic adult who also was a main caregiver for an autistic boy (my brother). 

For the record:  I swear that if you use this post to say autism makes people violent and abusive, I will send 12,000 angry geese to flock in your bedroom and destroy every item that you treasure the most. AND I will eat the leftovers you had planned on eating for lunch tomorrow. Don’t you fuckin dare miss the point of this post. 


Listen up. I got a story for you.


Bit of background first.


My boy, my little hobbit, was born when I was ten years old. My mother left him alone with my grandparents and me. She legit abandoned him. 

My grandparents weren’t sure they could take him in. 
I begged. I pleaded. I asked as hard as I could to let us keep him and not give him back to my mother. 

Of course, they said yes. 

I dutifully became the protective older sister.


I would bathe him up until the week I left for college. I measured his medications and crushed them into his favorite yogurt. Blue, if you were curious.I made sure his food was perfect - french fries made just like he wanted, a chicken fry sandwich complete with his favorite McDonald’s sauce we bought in bulk.  
I went to his speech and occupational therapies several times a week, and practiced the things he learned. I went with him to his first day of school.

I even did a middle school project all about autism (which I am slightly embarrassed about, as I mentioned A$ in it ugh). I read all the autism books a 12 year old could find, and immersed myself in the Vanderbilt paperwork. I delved into the world of IEPs, visual schedules, and basic sign language.

And now, I’m still sending them resources and information on medications, papers for teachers, and going over doctor notes for him - despite being six hours away. 

(Of course, I was an undiagnosed autistic girl who also needed quiet. When I wasn’t needed to do these things, I was often in my room away from the loud television and people. I wasn’t a perfect caregiver, but I did do a lot.)

All of that to say: yeah, it wasn’t easy. But since when is raising a kid ever easy? I started looking after this boy when I was ten years old.

But here’s what infuriates me.

I read all the time about these autism moms who complain about how terrible their lives are. They say they’re afraid of being hurt and their lives are destroyed. Some even talk about killing their kids.


You know what?

Yeah, I got hurt by him or when helping him. I got bit, scratched, hit, and everything else. Usually it was just him being frustrated over lack of communicating his needs, so I was rarely angry. 
I ran after him when he went out the door straight for a lawnmower and I fell to the concrete. I grabbed him right before he ran into a street and ended up with my arm covered in blood.

I was kicked in the head and given a traumatic brain injury that requires me to now use a cane, and has caused a ton of nervous system issues. I even use a wheelchair part-time due to another condition that occurred afterwards. I’m only 20, and my health is pretty comparable to someone with congestive heart failure.

And you know what? 

I never in a million years thought about hurting my little brother.


I still don’t blame him. He was often overwhelmed, and had meltdowns. As an autistic person myself, I understood it - even if I didn’t know I was autistic at the time. (I suspected, but was too focused on other things.) 
I don’t know if I’ll ever get better health-wise, and that’s okay. I don’t know if I’ll get to run and dance again, or if there’s worse effects to come. It’s just what it is, and I’ve accepted that. 

He’s a child. It’s not his fault. He once asked me if it was, and I hugged him tight and said absolutely not. 

I say all this not to demonstrate how violent autistic people can be, but to demonstrate that I get where these autism moms are coming from.

  Again, for the record, autistic people are far more likely to be abused and assaulted. 

Remember how I said  I get where they’re coming from?

Yeah, that’s still not an excuse to be harmful toward your child. Ever.


You don’t give your babies bleach, shock them, or starve them. You don’t talk about them as if they’re literally a death sentence for you. And you sure as hell don’t want to murder your little ones. 

And if you literally want to kill your kid, if you would rather have a dead child than an autistic one, I have news for you.

You don’t deserve that child, and you better back up and understand this.


You autism moms need to stop. You need to listen. 


Your kids are going through a world that wants to “cure” them, force them into suffering so they can look “normal.” Your kids are going to spend their entire lives dealing with a world that is hostile to them. People try to assimilate us to save their own pride, at the expense of our own comfort and stability. 
Your kid is going to go through life being told that they should be literally “treated” with electroshock therapy because of their neurology. They’re going to be told that they shouldn’t reproduce. They’re going to be told that they’re not worth having space in this world. Your kid is going to grow up one day, and they’re going to hear this and internalize it. 

I know that, because that’s what I hear every day. 

You say it’s so hard to have an autistic kid?

Well, of course it is. But you know what?

Kids are hard.
They’re going to kick, hit, pinch, and everything else. Even neurotypical kids do that. I don’t know a single kid who hasn’t bit their caregiver or thrown something when grumpy. 
(I’ll say it again for those in the back: autistic kids are way way way more likely to be abused and hurt.)

When you have a kid, you sign up for this. You love that little one unconditionally, you protect them with all your heart. You give them support. You love that child even if they have a disability, especially when they have a disability.

You teach them that they are allowed to exist, that they are just as valuable and needed in this world like anyone else. We need all the neurodiversity in this world we can get. 

You teach your child that they’re not a burden. You teach them how to say no and that autonomy is often more important than compliance. You teach them that you love them, and that they will always have someone in their corner to back them up when times are tough.


I don’t care how hard you think it is raise an autistic child.

Trust me, I know full well it’s hard. Parenting is hard. It’s not easy, and it’s not always roses and fluffy kittens. That has nothing to do with having an autistic kid; that’s just a fact of life. 

The fear of getting hurt is valid. I can attest to that, and I don’t think I can downplay that. But that behavior is communication, and you have to learn how to read it. I did. You have to fight for better supports, for ways to make it easier on your kid - and by doing this, easier for you too. 


Sure, it’s hard.

But you know what? Your kid’s going to have it much harder. 

a common myth that circulates in queer and trans communities and that i hear often is the idea that going on T will change you, make you more angry, more aggressive, etc. I have heard this mainly from other queer and trans people who are not on hormones. This is not only false, but is very transphobic. Testosterone, like any hormone, can affect your mood but the extent of this is really just like how your mood changes sometimes during puberty. Testosterone does not affect your personality, your general behavior and who you are as a person. The physical effects of T can definitely affect how you see yourself and may make you more comfortable being assertive and things like that, but actually ive noticed that its less that my personality has changed from being on T and more that people perceive my actions and behavior differently because I look physically more “masculine”. There is no proof to say that T makes you an asshole or more aggressive, or that it give you “T rage”, that is all completely unfounded and honestly transphobic. This rhetoric just further stigmatizes transition and anyone who choses to go on T in order to feel better about themselves and their body.

i just.. . can’t get over sign of the times. there is so much feeling in it - hope, desperation, strength, vulnerability, pain, love, bravery - and all of it is so palpable, i feel like i can taste it in the air while the song’s playing. he pulls you in at the very first note and tangles you into his soul with every note after that. the energy in his voice just. it washes over you, wave after wave, like an ocean of electricity and emotion. 

8

You were the first to ask me if I’m okay. It’s not even a big deal, but those words…strangely comforted me.

Talking to the Moon: How to Get Somebody to Change Their Mind

We’ve all got one in our lives: that person we love dearly but for some reason, they just don’t seem to hear us when we talk. If you follow astrology, you probably know that Mercury is the planet of communication, but even more so than that it shows how we process information and how our thought process works. Now, perhaps you and the person that comes to mind have compatible Mercury signs, perhaps you do not, or maybe you don’t even know what the person’s Mercury sign is. The point is that when you want to get a message across to somebody, particularly one of an emotional nature i.e. “this really hurts me when you do that”, “I need this to feel happy”, “you’re not hearing my perspective”, or anything similar to those statements you don’t want to talk to the person’s Mercury.

Mercury is our analytical brain and even when it is in a water sign where it tends to be more emotional, it still is an objective, logical process. If you REALLY want to get a message across to somebody when they just don’t seem to “get it”, you talk to their MOON. Now, I typically don’t advise using astrology (or any other metaphysical practice, for that matter) to pretend to be something we’re not, but in cases of communication, sometimes we absolutely MUST get a message across to somebody and the ONLY way to do that is to phrase it in a way that they can understand. Here is a guide on communication styles that are compatible with each Moon sign. I recommend trying more than one, as other factors in the chart, such as aspects to the Moon, can change the results of using each style.

Fire Moons: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Now, I don’t want the fire Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need fire Moons to inspire us and provide us with a sense of directions. It is imperative, however, that when you want a fire Moon to understand something, you have to make it about them. The fire element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way that it reminds them of how they do something, how they feel, or how they are affected. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can give them a scenario in which they would feel the same way. Using a fire-based way of talking generally requires a bit of rallying where you present your argument in a way that gives them something to do.

Specifically for:

Aries: Give them an action correlated with your argument. If you want them to do something, tell them EXACTLY what it is you want them to do and why they should do it. Don’t expect them to know any of it, lay it out for them. They instinctively crave direction and do well with open doors. Aries Moons are notoriously hard to get to change directions once they’ve picked something and patience can go a long way since they tend to change paths from time to time. Often times, they’ll spontaneously start following your idea as if was theirs if you give them enough time.

Leo: Appeal to their sense of dignity. Leo wants to feel special, and if you explain how seeing the way you do or acting the way you want them to makes them more magnanimous, they will likely oblige you. They instinctively do not want to be like everyone else or average. Challenging a Leo Moon by saying you know better is the biggest mistake you can make, so if you can lead them to making the decision themselves you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.

Sagittarius: Ask them why they think things should be done a certain way and challenge them to expand their horizons. Sagittarius moons are likely to feel like they’ve figured life out, but they’re always intrigued by the possibility that they haven’t and if you offer them an expanded view they will likely hear you out. You cannot, however, treat this expansion like it your doing. Sagittarius Moon must connect the dots for itself to feel like it can truly follow the path you’ve presented. Using an analogy so they can make the jump themselves is often very helpful.

Earth Moons: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Now, I don’t want the earth Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need earth Moons to ground us and keep the world running. It is imperative, however, that when you want an earth Moon to understand something, you have to make it about what’s best. The earth element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them, in practical terms, how something is more reasonable or realistic. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell them why, with real-world examples and a plan, why your idea is worth hearing. Using an earth-based way of talking generally requires a bit planning and thinking through the steps of what you’re suggesting so that the earth Moon can take you seriously.

Specifically for:

Taurus: appeal to their sense of materialism and be consistently patient. Taurus Moons are notoriously stubborn when they find something that works for them, and getting them to change their mind is not an easy task. Taurus moons, when they care about you or anything else, want you or it to feel valued and if you explain to them that doing what they’re doing will yield no harvest, they will slowly but surely change. The harvest does not have to be literal food, but if you explain to them that they won’t fill up your “love tank” or get what it is they want by staying stubborn they are capable of immense change.

Virgo: appeal to their sense of order. Virgo Moons like things to be neat and tidy so they may instinctively reject information that has to do with anything other than worldly affairs. If you want a Virgo moon to change its mind, be prepared to give them a list, in order, of your arguments. They respond well to formatted, organized arguments (even about things like emotions and zest for life) so providing them with cause and effect arguments works well.

Capricorn: appeal to their sense of discipline. Capricorn moons are often the tough-love type and are naturally ambitious. Getting these ambition-focused people to hear your point often requires that you explain the benefit of what you’re proposing to the overall bottom line. While not all Capricorn Moons go into business, they often act as if they had, so if you haven’t thought ahead about the consequences of what you’re proposing they don’t want to hear it.

Air Moons: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Now, I don’t want the earth Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need air Moons to keep ideas in circulation. It is imperative, however, that when you want an air Moon to understand something, you have to be very careful how you phrase it. The air element, since it tends to understand emotions by observing them rather than feeling them, responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them what something looks like and why it looks that way. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell very concisely and using step-by-step logical descriptions of how an idea takes place. Using an air-based way of talking generally requires a lot of clarifying, so if you want to get your point across to an air Moon, be prepared to make your point multiple times in multiple ways until they can understand it on an intellectual level.

Particularly for:

Gemini: appeal to their sense of curiosity. Gemini Moons are constantly updating their vocabulary, so don’t assume that just because you know what you meant that they do. They need you do not only tell them, using words, how you feel but they also require that you use comparisons. Gemini thrives on information, and while they’re likely to point out differences in any analogy that you use, with enough of them they will likely isolate what it is you are trying to get across to them. Be patient, as Gemini Moons can be infuriatingly full of questions, but it’s just because they want to really truly hear exactly what it is you mean.

Libra: appeal to their sense of balance. Now, of course, many people think that Libra is an empathetic sign, and while it is incredible at observing and figuring out how to blend in, its understanding of other people is still air-based rather than water based. Libra is incredibly sweet and of all the Moon placements is the most likely to want to hear you out if you tell them that they’re not hearing what you’re saying, but they may feign understanding to avoid conflict. To avoid this defense mechanism, ask them how they feel about something and to explain it and they’ll return the favor by listening to you.

Aquarius: appeal to their sense of humanity. Aquarius Moons are objective, but they’re objective in the sense that they think everybody should be included, so they don’t want you to feel left out. If your argument explains what you need to feel included or that your argument has a place in the grand scheme of things, Aquarius Moon is much more likely to hear you out. They may not implement your idea in exactly the way you want them to because of this placement’s natural inventiveness, so you may have to give them a few tries to get it right through trial and error. But, make no mistake, they will continue working until you or your idea has a place.

Water Moons: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Now, I don’t want the water Moon people out there feeling like I’m bashing them, because we need earth Moons give our lives meaning and feeling. It is imperative, however, that when you want a water Moon to understand something, you have to make it about how something feels. The water element responds really well to arguments and ideas formatted in a way shows them why something affects somebody on an emotional level. They tend to be able to empathize best if you can tell why something means as much to you as it does. Using a water-based way of talking generally requires a bit of acting and showing some emotion about a topic so they know you’re serious about what you’re saying.

Particularly for:

Cancer: appeal to their sense of nurturing. Cancer moons are natural mommy-types and want to take care of how you feel. They’re generally care less about what you’re saying but more how you’re saying it. Showing tears of frustration will almost inevitably get Cancer Moon people to at least slow down enough to hear you out and they’ll want to do what they can to help you feel better. They may not be able to understand super logical arguments, but if you can express to them importance they can understand that.

Scorpio: appeal to their sense of healing. Scorpio Moons get a reputation for breaking people down, but their intent isn’t to obliterate somebody; it’s to give them space to rebuild. Because of this, Scorpio Moons may test ideas that come their way in ways meant to elicit a frustrated response from the messenger. Changing the mind of a Scorpio Moon is a long-term goal, as if requires that you show endurance and belief in what you propose to them. Once they see that you’re committed and there is nothing left to break down they can change their mind.

Pisces: appeal to their sense of empathy. Pisces Moons can be frustratingly difficult to get an opinion out of, but as a result their also very non-combative. Pisces Moon will generally give in simply by you asking. The trick is you have to consistently remind them because other people can change their minds too. Pisces Moons really don’t want to upset anyone, so showing them that them not changing their mind or behavior is upsetting to you will almost always elicit a response.

As with anything in astrology, always remember to take the whole chart into account, these descriptions do not account for aspects to the moon or the house the moon is in. Be sure to subscribe to my page for more astrology content and if you have anything you’d like to ask me about, send me a message.

-Peter

you know whats underrated? from the dining table

like i know we all joked about how its the sad jerking off song but like moving Past That the production value on this song is very beautiful? like its so subtle and moving and harrys voice on it sounds fucking amazing and those strings?? are so phenomenal and the way he harmonizes with himself like its really raw and powerful and yet simple in its execution that i feel ppl often miss it in favor of the more rockier songs on the album but i feel like ftdt deserves its own recognition for how hauntingly beautiful it is 

5