its a tw thing you know

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mmmmm ok not to be dramatic but i just wanna say that when i was 17 i hadn’t even applied to college because i didn’t see myself making it out of high school. i was on the tail end of a 9 year battle with depression, anxiety, self harm, eating disorders, and suicide attempts that i didn’t think i would survive. but i ended up at college somehow and realized what happiness felt like for the first time. in the next few years i was raped, sexually assaulted, stalked, chronically ill, and i watched my dad die in front of me. now im 20 and im okay. my scars are hidden under a tattoo. i am safe from the people who have hurt me. i have my mental illness under control. i know my dad loved me. and i just graduated magna cum laude with two bachelors degrees.
so i just wanted to post this in case it finds its way to anyone that thinks they won’t make it to the next phase of their life. growing up i thought things couldn’t possibly get worse and these last few years have proven to be the hardest of my life. but i came out of it stronger and braver and better and you can too :~)

Hey to all those people telling people “ it’s not so bad, just power through the cramps” when they're on their period because it’s not an excuse to miss school/work etc.!

I had bad cramps today, but I tried to “power through it” and went to class anyways, even though my grandmother had to drive me because I couldn’t walk to the bus.

I tried to “power through it” when I started to feel like I was going to throw up in the middle of my lecture, leaving to take a walk outside in the cold to try and clear my head, even though walking made my right side feel as though it was being ripped in two.

I tried to “power through it” when I started getting cold sweat all over my body, taking off my sweater and then putting it back on two seconds later because my body couldn’t decide if it was hot or cold.

 I tried to “power through it” when spots started to appear in my vision, and just kept walking towards the exit.

I tried to “power through it” when I started to dry heave, and started walking faster.

I tried to “power through it” when my ears started ringing and the spots took over my vision and I was so so hot but shivering and my side felt on fire and twisted into knots and stabbed all at once.

I tried to power through it to the point where I collapsed in the middle of my college hallway. A stranger brought me to Outreach Services, where I lay on the floor, vomiting, for an hour until somebody could pick me up and take me home.

The school paramedics told me that I had passed out because I put too much stress on my already taxed body. My body was taxed because of hormonal fluctuations and blood loss aka my period.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. In the past when I’ve had cramps like this, I’ve stayed in bed and eaten strawberries and watched MASH all day.

So don’t you DARE tell me that you should “power through the cramps and do it anyways”. Powering through made me pass out. Powering through made me have to be wheeled out of the school in a wheelchair because I couldn’t keep my balance to walk. Powering through made my grandmother with osteoporosis and a tendency to panic have to come pick me up from school and help me up the stairs and almost break her hip when I started to collapse backwards on the front steps. Powering through made my 13 year old brother have to supervise me while I took a bath because I was afraid I would pass out and drown (he was super sweet about it actually; we closed the curtain and he read me Voyage of the Dawn Treader). Powering through made my mother who works to support our family pretty much on her own have to take time off work to come home and make sure I was okay.

In conclusion; If someone feels crappy because of their period cramps, leave them alone. Don’t make them do things anyways, because you might make it worse. And definitely don’t make them feel bad for not wanting to do things because of cramps; that’s the reason I even got out of bed this morning. Be nice to people on their period. Possibly buy them chocolate or painkillers. Nut don’t make them do things when they have cramps, and definitely don’t tell them “it’s nothing, power through” because cramps? Cramps can be one of the worst things you could possibly imagine.

Seriously. Fuck you all.

Pour Up (M)

Words: 12,944.

Genre: Smut. Just filthy threesome smut.

Summary: All it takes is for you to be drunk and faded before you have the audacity to sleep with Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung.

[!] Contains mature content such as graphic smut and coarse language + mentions of alcohol and drug use.

Originally posted by taekookie-bts

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Trans problems that arent talked about enough

Not being able to bathe because your dysphoria is too bad.
Not being able to wear a binder because of anxiety issues/sensory issues
Not being able to grow body hair
Your body hair is too noticeable
Presenting as masculine and being 5'0
Presenting as feminine and being 6'3
Others using you as their *trans friend* in order to win an argument
Being out to some but not to others
Swimming. Seriously just fuck that.
Gym class
Transitioning during school
Trying to get people to use nonbinary pronouns
Standardized tests using sex and gender interchangeably
People refusing to do research and expecting you to explain everything
People mean mugging you when you shop in the clothing section that matches your gender
People telling you to choose between your religion and your identity
Coming out as gay before coming out as trans and trying to figure out what to call yourself
Trying not to visibly cringe every time you get misgendered
Being afraid to go home
Being afraid to go to school
Being afraid
Doing dangerous things to attempt to alleviate dysphoria
Not being able to look in the mirror
Getting bashed by other trans people for not having dysphoria (yeah im lookin at you truscum)
Not wanting to transition
How to sex??
Trying to figure out your gender
Society enforcing the gender binary like its some sort of law

Shout out to all of us with sleeping disorders and fatigue issues who have to suffer through sleep hangovers when we do finally get a good night’s sleep!

My energy gain from 12 hours of good sleep is worthless when I have to use it to fight through my headache and nausea.

Just a post, a kind of psa, a shoutout, a plea to people who romanticize Darkiplier.

Don’t.

I don’t know how to impart this knowledge without sounding batshit insane, so I’ll water it down a bit to get just the point across. Certain times, thinking about him makes my hands tremble, my mouth dry, and my eyes water. He’s done unspeakable things to me and to others, and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.

He’s abusive. He will not think twice about hurting you, regardless of how “close” you think you are. Emotionally and physically, he would tear you apart and feast on what’s left, if given the chance.

Any gesture he makes has a spiderweb of strings attached. Dinner with him is a deal with the devil.

He will hurt you if it benefits him. He may appear nice and caring, but believe me, he will drop you the second he sees fit. He will use you to the degree where you won’t be able to tell right from wrong, left from right, or up from down. And once you get twisted up in the chaos, he will leave. He will move on.


I’m not shitting on those “soft” posts, don’t get me wrong. Just know that those are not who he is. Is he a well-made character? Yes! The concept of Dark is incredible, and is executed perfectly. I admire how Mark developed him! Just know that there are real people like that. They are dangerous.

Please do not take this as me attacking anyone or anything.

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I think there’s a fault in my code

hoo boy this took me a long time haha

my own rendition of what I think dark!ethan would be like! he’s kind of a glitch/robot based thing? 

had to turn down the gif quality to fit within tumblr’s size limits, I think it turned out okay though! let me know what you think!!

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These were the photos that had made me so upset with my body yesterday. I’ve struggled with depression for a while which drastically changed my appetite. During the worst times of my depression I was not eating and dangerously thin to the point hospitalisation was suggested by my family. But now I’m actually eating and enjoying food. So yes, I’m bigger than I may have been before but I’m also happier. I enjoy food again and that is such a big blessing to me. I wasn’t going to post these photos because of the rolls and curves but fuck it. I’m posting them. Love yourself.

🌸 don’t reblog please 🌸

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this is a thing that’s happening now right

anonymous asked:

sorry if its been asked before but i cant seem to find it; nightmares are mentioned a lot in this blog, and i was wondering what kind of nightmares are believable? straight up reliving of the incident; things vaguely related to what happened; a glimpse of good times until the incident, whatever it is, comes and ruins it, etc? i realize some of those sound a bit cliche so i wanted to know if they're grounded in reality. thank you!

In general I find ‘straight up reliving’ nightmares to be…. on the rarer side. I didn’t know many folks who dealt with that, though it definitely did happen.

More frequently nightmares looked sort of like the following:

- Realistically Could Happen Lead Up Events to the abuse.  So, if a messy kitchen sometimes starts arguments that lead to the abuse? That character might have nightmares of coming home to find that the kitchen is a never ending mess and no matter what they do they can’t fix it. There’s always more.

- Non-scary dreams of an abuser. There’s nothing actually happening in this nightmare. They’re having dinner or going to a play or driving in the car. This one has two flavors, where even in the dream there’s a feel of ‘everything is about to go wrong’ or where the aftereffects is the focus. The dreamer is left feeling guilty or like maybe they made it up.

-Non-abuser being abusive/yelling/being violent. Sometimes this is ‘this person did something that sort of vaguely reminded me of when x happened and now my brain is spinning out of control’, sometimes this is ‘brain being scared of trusting people/assuming abuse is inevitable.’

- Nothing. The character can’t remember anything but wakes up knowing something bad has occured while they slept. Feeling gross and unsettled and being unable to place why.

-Non-abusive but tense/scary/out of control dreams. Not necessarily just a PTSD thing, some of y’all might have had the whole ‘trying to drive from the passenger/back seat’ dream as well. But things like that.

Hope that helps a bit, 

TS

I'm a Freak (Connor Murphy x Reader)

Connor Murphy x Reader


TW: swearing, yelling, Connor saying he doesn’t deserve to live, unedited and short. :(

(a/n; first published fic ever!! I hope y'all like it! Its unedited and horrible, but let me know if you would like more in the future!)

656 words (I think)

Connor tossed in his bed, grumbling and angrily yanking the sheets off of himself. He sat up and sighed, running his hands through his hair. The only thing he could hear was the giggling and whispers coming from his sisters room late at night. Connor shot up from his bed and stormed into the hallway, slamming his door open. He pounded on Zoe’s door angrily.

“Shut the fuck up, you guys! Seriously! I’m trying to sleep!” Connor shouted, twisting the door handle and trying to come in.

“Go away, Connor! We’re having fun!” Zoe shouted and giggled. Connor furrowed his eyebrows as he heard more than just y/n’s voice in Zoe’s room.

Connor slammed himself against the door until it burst open. Connor was panting slightly and red in the face with anger. His anger got worse as he noticed Evan Hansen sitting next to Zoe.

“What the fuck, Zoe!?! Mom and dad said y/n Hansen could come over, not her fucking brother!” Connor fumed, not noticing the scared look on Evan’s face. You weren’t startled since you had helped with Connors bipolar disorder before.

“You, you are SO lucky mom and dad went out for the night.” Connor turned around and slammed the door before anybody could say anything.

“I-I’m sorry, Zoe, I should-should go..” Evan turned red and started to shuffle until Zoe took hold of his hands and looked him in the eye. She was whispering comforting words until you got uncomfortable.

You shuffled out of the room while the lovers were making eye contact and sweet talk. You sighed, shuffling slowly downstairs into the kitchen in only a tank top and short shorts.

Connor was pacing the kitchen when you got down there, still frustrated and trying to cool down.

“Connor?” You called out, a sad smile on your face. You stepped forward and placed an arm on his bicep.

“I’m sorry.” Connors voice broke as he dove into your arms, tears welling up in his already red eyes.
“I can’t control my anger, I’m just a freak who doesnt deserve to live.”

You held Connor and ran your fingers through his slightly messy hair.

“Connor, please, come with me to get help.” You begged, trying to convince him to talk to someone with you for the hundredth time that year.

Nobody could convince Connor to do things like you could, he was head over heels for you. He never told you, but he had ways of showing it.

“Okay,” Connor broke, trembling in your arms. “Okay.”

Nobody had known you two were together for a fact, but many people guessed you were. People made fun of you for hanging around Connor Murphy, so Connor made you promise not to tell anyone you were dating. He didn’t want anyone to pick more fun at you.

Little did you both know, Evan and Zoe were standing at the top of the stairs, watching you two.

You rocked Connor back and forth as he sniffled into your neck. He was leaning on you with his arms wrapped tight around your waist. He was shirtless and in black shorts, what he normally slept in.

“I love you,” Connor began, using the L-word for the first time ever. “I love you so much, y/n.”

Your eyes widened as you pulled him closer. “I love you too, Connor. You mean the world to me.”

Connor looked up and pressed his forehead against yours, connecting your lips for a few seconds and still swaying back and forth.

“Wow..” Evan whispered to Zoe. “So, y/n and Connor, huh?

Zoe nodded with a small smile. “She’s good for him.”

Don’t Romanticize Self-Harm

Holy shit

Dont romanticize self harm. dont make it seem like an okay, pretty thing. self harm is not an ‘aesthetic’, dont act like because you self harm it makes you a ‘less basic’ person.

Its ugly, its awful. Holy fuck theres nothing good about self harm, not a single thing. I know tumblr was worse about this before-but scars are not aesthetic, they are not pretty.

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Keep reading

Be More Chill characters as shit I've said trying to be cool

Jeremy

Me and this moth have a lot in common. It’s crushed. I have a crush.

Michael

You all make fun of the ‘smoking drugs’ line but little do you know that I actually have no idea what the correct term is and I use it unironically

Christine

Is there such a thing as like…platonic sex? But the sex is cuddling and the platonic person is my boyfriend

Chloe

Well it’s not my fault your morals and principles are as fucked up as your face

Brooke
(my apology to the aforementioned quote)

For what it’s worth I think your face is very nice!

Jenna

If I took a shot whenever you mentioned your boyfriend, I would be a recovering alcoholic.

Jake

Your ego makes up for all the boob you don’t have.

Rich

I started hating myself before it was cool.

(AND)

No, of course you’re not fat… just… dimensionally challenged..

Squip

I may look calm but in another life I’ve ripped out your spine and hanged you with it.

anonymous asked:

do you guys know any fics where its (very) angsty through almost the whole thing but has a happy ending? thank you so much !!

yes we do my friend!!! we live for these tho :’) 

  • Loud as Lions - IM NOT CRYING THERES JUST 10KFRP IN MY EYES// historical, fighter!soo and general!jongin deal with their lives and the feelings they have for each other :o (tw: internalized homophobia)
  • If My Yesterday is a Disgrace - kd are bestfriends but jongin’s feelings aren’t reciprocated therefore he wishes to stop loving soo but ksoo wakes up in a different universe where jongin isn’t his bestriend :(
  • The Woes of the Heart - pining af!! ksoo is a wedding planner and while he carries on and helps to organize jongin’s wedding, he’s suffering inside and he pours his feelings he has for jongin into the diary
  • You Are My Heart - bestfriends to lovers au, soo loves his bff but jongin is in a relationship…until one day he shows up at their house broken and sick :( this is a roller coaster of feels likeee????
  • Warm Me Better - family au, ksoo is insecure thinking he’s not enough for jongin ;;; but together they overcome all obstacles!
  • Convoluted Desires - post-war au, jongin lost his bff seungsoo and when he comes back alive but broken, he meets ss’ brother ksoo who is forced to work in a brothel and feels protective towards him
  • Whisper the words, “I love you” - they’re married but have been fighting a lot lately and unhappy with each other to the verge of divorcing which makes jongin sad so he takes ksoo on vacation in hopes to save their marriage ;;
  • Running Up That Hill - chaptered, rich!soo prostitute!nini the angst aged me 35yrs before they got their happy end boi don’t test me ever again like this 
  • Déjà Vécu - bish this reincarnation/soulmate/non au didn’t win The Best Fic for nothing you’ll be teared apart like 5x throughout the story before you deserve dat happy end>:O 
  • Straight on ‘til Morning - idk how to explain this masterpiece tbh but basically jongin is being abused by his ‘bf’ and ksoo cant do nothing but wait for him
  • Siren Song - pirates!au, this isnt /super/ angsty but jongin gets captured by captain!ksoo
  • Spring, Summer and Autumn - jongin wants ksoo to stay ;u;
  • Second Chances - jongin and ksoo are married but they go through some issues until an accident happens and one of them doesnt rmb anything :(
  • baby, please come to me - angsty drunken smut + mentions of anxiety
  • Somedays I’m Made of Metal - im!!! so ksoo sleeps around but he’s actually lonely (go figure!) and he slowly changes for jongin who doesnt make it easy for him ;)
  • Apricity and the Moon Above You - kadi’s relationship in this can be described as the sun and the moon where the moon is always waiting for the sun
  • Set Me Free - architect!jongin gets depressed when ksoo leaves him 
  • We’ll Cast Some Light - what’s angst without a hanahaki au :’) aka where someone will throw up flower petals if their love isnt reciprocated (dw it ends well hehe)
  • Yesteryear - 49k of reincarnation au where jongin tries to bond with his soulmate everytime he is reborn :’)
  • Complications; and how they arise - this is an old fic but ahh i rly do love the writing, best friends to lovers au with side!chansoo

more happy end angst fics here! happy reading c:

 - Admins H + J

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Derek: “I have no clue how you deal with them. I mean look at them Ethan and Benny are like carbon copies of Stiles and Scott. Who knows how bad the four of them could be together.” 
Sarah: “Hey, at least your Erica and my Erica are getting along. After they got over the werewolf/vampire thing. It’s freaky how much they’re alike and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”
Derek: “I’m honestly just waiting to see how much Rory can annoy Isaac before Isaac strangles him.”
Sarah: “Yeah, Rory has that effect on people. Luckily they have you and me to keep them in place or who knows where these dorks would be without us.”