Assalam sister, I had a major heartbreak tonight. after 3 years of relationship, he left me. heartlessly. i keep on ask him why is this so easy for him, i keep on saying sorry but he's still with his decisions. im hurt way too deep. I cant even sleep, I dont have anyone to talk to at this hour, it's 4am at my place. I can't stop crying. what should I do? I'm lost. why did i ever sign up for this. If only I could turn back time, I wont 😔
Wa Alaikumussalaam habibti
Firstly, I want to express my understanding for your situation. Heartbreak like such is really not easy to swallow, to know that the one you love doesn’t love you back. So it’s okay to cry about it for a while, it’s totally fine to let it all out, your emotions are meant to be expressed. you love(d) him, so it’s obviously tugging at your heartstrings. so give yourself time to process it since it comes as a shock to you. i did not experience something like that but I’ve even cried once for someone (female) I considered a friend because they still mean to us the world. and at some point i forgot them. i may see their face but I do not recognize them. they’re not the one i want to surround myself anymore.
you may not believe it now but after a while of separations your heart will get unused to him, your emotions will slowly fade and left will be just a stranger in front of your eyes. you’ll learn that you can even live without him. i may not know the reason for his behavior, but consider yourself lucky to leave him as well. he obviously didn’t take you and your feelings serious in any kind of way, so you do deserve someone who does. don’t apologize at all. being with someone should not be about begging them to stay with you since it should come volunteeringly from the heart.
(if) the relationship was not a marriage then this is your ultimate chance to repent and to return to Allah (x). even if it isn’t, you need something to occupy yourself. to fill that empty space. surround yourself with friends, do not isolate yourself!, find something that causes joy to you. it will be hard at the beginning, after all you miss them, but you will come to the realization that there isn’t any other way left other than starting to love yourself.
May Allah heal your broken heart and mend that which hurts you. may He feel the holes with tranquillity and peace. Ameen
If you feel lonely, come off anon and I’ll listen, ok? x