ithewriter

Graduation Growing Pains

Looking back over my previous posts and I have made a discovery: Just like the third season of Community my thought life had taken a seriously dark turn this year. I think it is time for a holiday musical episode, don’t you?

With graduation speeding ever closer I have been able to focus on nothing except career moves and the vague future that awaits me after accepting that longed-for diploma. For quite a long time the future loomed over me like the darkest timeline minus a burning monkey and with a double order of sticky felt mustaches.

Don’t misunderstand me, I am still terrified, but for the first time I am able to see the silver lining in the unknown. 

The biggest decision I have had to face is the all-encompassing ‘what now?’ The first question anyone asks me when I mention graduation is “So, are you moving out to L.A?” I’m sure there are plenty of people who are chomping at the bit to ship out but the thought of completely uprooting myself for a job that doesn’t exist yet unnerves me. There are too many variables in such a decision: money for the trip out, a new car (my old one won’t survive), an apartment, a job to pay for said apartment, and connections to keep from feeling totally lost. Not to mention being an entire country away from my family. 

I have options. North Carolina is beginning to boom with the industry. New York is always fun. Atlanta is fairly far but still East Coast. The only problem was every time I thought about one of these it never felt right. Only L.A. made my heart hammer and my feet itch to go despite the hesitation of my wallet and the fear in my head.

Thinking about it the other day I realized I had already made my decision without knowing: Los Angeles is the only place for me. All of the pieces are starting to fall into place. I am graduating so school can no longer be used an excuse. My internship can be made mobile. I am not dating anyone (and for once that’s a good thing). All of my excuses are being stripped away one by one which leads me to one logical conclusion:

I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I do know I must.