italian meat

I swear if I run into one more vegan/vegetarian lesbian I am going to scream. My family is too damn Italian for me to bring home one of those. They basically greet you at the door with a prosciutto. Its like a rite of passage to try one of my moms meatballs.  Guarantee someone will shout out what do you mean you don’t eat no meat!! (thats ok I make lamb).


First table of the day, I get sat a one top. I grab his Coke for him and give him a few minutes to look over the menu. After a few minutes, I go back and ask if he’s ready to order.

Me: are you ready to order sir?
Guy: yeah but I have a question real quick. The meat sauce, it has meat in it right?
Me: …yes.
Guy: oh ok. Can I please get the spaghetti with meat sauce and a Caesar salad?
Me: I’m sorry sir we don’t have Caesar salad. Is a house salad ok?
Guy: sure but can I get Caesar dressing on it?
Me: I’m sorry sir but we don’t have Caesar dressing (why would we have Caesar dressing but not Caesar salad???)
Guy: ok ranch then. And can I get some franks red hot sauce too?
Me: we don’t carry that but I do have tabasco
Guy: what about chololo sauce? (This is seriously how he pronounced cholula lol)
Me: sorry sir only tabasco
Guy: that’s dumb. I hate Tabasco.
Me: I really don’t care for it myself either. I’m sorry about that.
Guy: then don’t bring me any sauce. I hate Tabasco.

As soon as I brought everything out, he asked for Tabasco lol