Happy Blackout!

I want to give a shoutout to black people that have dealt/are dealing with the same thing I’m going through right now so:

Shoutout to depressed black people
Shoutout to suicidal black people
Shoutout to self loathing black people that love being being black, but just don’t like themselves as a person
Shoutout to asexual black people
Shoutout to black people that can’t seem to figure their (a)sexuality out

I’m telling myself it’ll get better someday and I’m telling you now. We’re going to be okay.
Even if it’ll take a while.

And for everyone I support with my whole heart, body and soul (if I even have one):

Shoutout to dark-skinned black women
Shoutout to feminine black men
Shoutout to LGBTQ+ black people
Shoutout to black trans women/men
Shoutout to black people in general



I finished my Mercy mittens! Shes kinda my fav Overwatch char. I just really love playing support, though I’ve been trying to get better at Pharah. Someday haha. These are based on Mercy’s “Huge Rez” spray. I’ve charted the mittens and plan on putting out a pattern for my fellow Overwatch knitters hehe. This pair will be listed later in my Etsy for a lot less then if I were to custom make them, as they are my testing pair. I love the way these mittens fit😊

❧ Midnight Shadows  ; 1

♡  Pairing : Jimin x Y/N

♡  Genre : Fluff / Angst

♡  A/N : New Jimin fan fiction I hope I’m improving in writing

❧ 1 | 2

Really, my life was never going good or great or anything in between. It was shit. Everything in my life. I prayed that it all would get better someday but it never would. I really did hate life. Everyone says “Be happy, don’t be sad theirs nothing you should cry for” I don’t know what kind of bullshit lies they’re all spitting to most of us. It’s okay to cry. But self harm is not okay I hated it. But I did it.

I did it just because my life was shitty enough. I had bruises everywhere because my mom beat me everyday at night. My dad almost never comes home because he’s either drinking or with some hookers. My mom lets her anger out on me. I never did P.E class in school, because I didn’t want people to treat me differently. I know I could’ve changed this situation but I never did.

And here I am

My parents had seen my cuts. I also told them about my countless suicide attempts, that never worked out.

That’s why I was in the car ,and they were bringing me to a mental hospital.
I never wanted to go to one. I wondered how long will I stay there.

There I went through the door with my bags. They immediately put me in my room, and told me not to come out until they tell me to. I thought that was a weird rule. Honestly, it was so cold there I was shivering. I laid in my bed and thought about my life.

What if it was normal?

But that’s a stupid thought my life is probably staying the way it is.
The nurses came and told me to go to the cafeteria to eat.

It was really strange? How can these people smile if they’re in a mental hospital.
Almost all the people in the cafeteria looked at me and whispered in each others ears. Was this school all over again?

One boy standed out from the crowd.
He was a blonde haired boy, I can’t deny he was very handsome in my eyes.
But he was sitting alone, I wonder why?

I came to his table and he just looked me in the eyes and death glared me. To be honest that scared be a bit but I don’t judge people until I know about them.

I managed to talk to him even though I was pretty shy.

“Hey, can I sit here?” He only stared at me.
Before looking down into his book, it looked old.

“I’m not stopping you from sitting here” he replied sarcastically.

I put down whatever they gave me, it really didn’t look great though. Even it’s smell is gross.

“How can you eat food like this?” I was confused how can anyone eat this it smelled like it was taken out of a garbage bag ant put down into a plate.

“I guess if you want to survive, you gotta eat something right?” He remained with his serious expression.

How can this guy be so calm about eating some kind of trash. But I wonder if he even eats it he looks so skinny and pale.

“But do you even eat this yourself though?”
I asked him ,because I was still confused.

“Not really” he looked up from whatever he was reading and his eyes met mine.
I looked away immediately .

“That explains why you’re so skinny” I mumble

“What did you say I couldn’t quite hear you?” He looked at me. He had an attractive face.

“Nothing you need to know” I politely smile

After 10 minutes it was time to go outside for everybody. I ended up thinking this place was literal prison.

And there he was reading his old book. I wonder what it’s about since he’s reading it.

People looked at me with shocked expressions when I walked over to him.

I wonder why?

“What you reading there buddy.” He looked up to me with an annoyed expression.

“A book? Can’t you see.” I was shocked he was this rude at the cafeteria he really was different.

“Oh, nice a book” I replied sarcastically at his comment.

“What do you want?” Was he this annoyed because of me I thought.

“Whats your name?” He looked at me with a death glare. What did I do wrong I just asked his name? Nothing else.

“It’s Park Jimin”

callmemarine  asked:

Hello fellow ENFP, i have a weird question, as an ENFP i am often very joyful and optimistic but i feel like all this in only on the surface and deep inside it's like there is no spark left i feel empty and sad because i don't know why i'm doing all that, i don't know why we are on this planet and it's obsessing me i can't think of anything else and i don't know what to do of my life, i'm not even going to school anymore, and people around me have no idea, so here's my question, what can i do?

Hi, thereee!!! First of alll, I’m very sorry to hear that. I’m so so sorry this reply took really long! But I hope you feel better soon. Now, I am by no means a professional sooo if you keep feeling worse and you feel like you might be feeling depressed, pleasee pretty pretty please seek a professional’s help!

Now, according to da functions (again, the “traits” of an MBTI type”, us ENFPs do sometimes have difficulties expressing some of our rather, pardon my French, shitty feelings. So, don’t feel “bad” or “fake” when you find it really hard to not put up a “sunshiney happy smiley” act. 

You might feel like you lost motivation. Noww, ENFPs are people of possibilities and when everything goes on and on and on and on in a monotonous pattern, there’s no possibilities anymore. That results in no smiles and a motivation-less ENFP. So I’d suggest changing minor things in your life, likeee maybe when you go to your fave coffee shop, instead of ordering what you usually do ask for the barista’s recommendation, etc. Life may not always give you great adventures but you CAN make your own adventure. 

When you feel sad, it might be some left over feelings you never talked about with other people. That might be the reason why, sometimes, when you feel sad you feel it very very strongly. So I would suggest trying to share. I knooow it’s hard and cringy and stuff but you’ll feel really great afterwards. Just share with people you trust :). 

Okay, I am sorry for the rant ahead. We are put on this planet because of a reason. I mean, scientifically the chances of a person existing is very close to zero! Now, you might feel sad and empty and lacking motivation right now but remember that you came with a purpose! Things seem pretty gray right now but everything gets better, and someday you WILL find how you can contribute to the world and do so! 

Remember that these thoughts are weights that are easier to carry together. Share it with people! Nobody has a clue how you feel so they can’t help you feel better. When you feel unmotivated and tired, try out new things! Who knows? Maybe you’ll like baking or designing or crocheting… it could be anything!

Stay optimistic and feel better soon!! 

Ok this is it. I’m taking a time off tumblr because I’m legitimately crying right now. I’m tired of dealing with human trash and with people who are fucking disgusting. I shouldn’t be constantly reminded of my abuse and I shouldn’t be constantly reliving what happened to me because some people have no heart. I’m so fucking done with this. I’m fucking done with everything. And this is more than just tv shows. Like sometimes I look at how fragile I am and I just wonder how I am going to survive out there in the world where people are like this all around. I’m sorry for being dramatic but I don’t feel like living in a world like this sometimes because I feel like I’m just going to suffer forever. and I’m going to be haunted by my trauma forever and it’s just going to be pain forever. I just can’t take this anymore. Not only here in the fandom but in real life too. I just can’t handle anything and I’m just a weak ass bitch who can’t roll with the punches. And I keep telling myself it’s going to get better someday. I’ll be stronger and life will be better someday. But someday never comes and things are always the same. 

issues and ...

problems (?).

i wanted to explain, at least for the few people whose showed a little curiosity about my whereabouts or absence.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

“I thought you didn’t want me.”

(you didn’t give me a pairing so I am going to indulge myself and write patater)

It’s sunrise when Kent shows up, and while Alexei hasn’t slept all night, his whole aching, exhausted body hums to life at the sight of him. He rushes downstairs to open the door and runs right out, in dressing gown and slippers, through the garden to the gate.

Kent looks horrible. He hasn’t slept either, that much Alexei can tell just from looking. And after what they said, after what Alexei himself said, he can’t blame him. They were harsh words. Harsh, but in the moment Alexei was sure Kent needed to hear them. Their relationship – strange as it is – couldn’t take the burden of Kent’s doubt and self-flagellation anymore. And Alexei didn’t want to find himself again in the role of reluctant punisher. I am not forgiving you until you find some way to forgive self,he told Kent. I am not dating–

Sleeping with, Kent broke in.

No. Not just sleeping with. Never just sleeping with. This is what I am telling you. I am wanting something else, but I cannot have if you want only pain.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How does Matsu greet his baby in the morning?

Osomatsu: walking into his son’s room he would lean into the crib and gently pick him up, with a smile on his face he would sit in the rocking chair after he changed him. “hay little one… sleep well?” he asks as he gently pets his son’s head, making him coo and giggle. gently laughing osomatsu would kiss him on the head as he gently rocks with him. “that’s good he would say sleepily.

Karamatsu: walking into his child’s room he would pick her up and laugh. “hello my angel of a child!” he says as he kisses her on the cheek, making her laugh and hug his face. karamatsu would grin and dress her in her favorite blue dress and sparkly slippers., using a soft brush he would brush what hair she has and put them into cute pigtails. holding her in his arms he would parade her around the house like a princess.

Choromatsu: with his daughter being prone to get sick easily, he would wash his hands before he picks her up and held her, but once his cleaning routine is done he would lay in his clean bed with her with his hand on her chest, feeling her heart beat under his hand. “i will help you get better.. if not now someday..” he would whisper and smile when she holds his hand with her small ones.

Ichimatsu: yawning he would look to his right and smile when he sees his baby boy, kicking around in his cat footy pajamas and manages to kick ichimatsu in the side. laughing ichimatsu would pick him up and hold him. “you think a small kick like that would get rid of me?” he said as he tapped his son on the nose. earning a pout from the boy and him trying to bite Ichimatsu’s finger.

Jyushimatsu: walking into his daughters room he would stay as quiet as he can, gently scooping her up, he would gently kiss her cheek as he takes her to the kitchen, setting her in her car seat on the counter next to him away from the stove. he would start to cook her her breakfast, looking to her when he hears her cooing and laughing, smiling his wide grin he would go over to her and play with her hands and feet, and then blowing on her tummy making her squeal with laughter.

Todomatsu: walking into his sons room he would pick him up out of his bed and hold him close and hum a bit to him to wake him up, smiling when he felt his child’s small hands on his face, gently kissing his hand todomatsu would sit in the living room with him as they watch the sun fully rise, only for them both to fall a sleep on the couch.

@galliaandco Kags is definitely and up and coming cornet player. Looks up to Daichi very much. Kags hopes to one day have the same chops and range as he does. He spends most of his times playing scales. Hinata is a “I might be small but I can lift” tuba player. The tuba is literally as big as he is but man can he play it. He tries to keep up with Bokuto’s energy and sometimes ends up on his back on the field with the tuba on top of him, arms and legs flailing as he screams, but he’s getting better. Someday he might even upgrade to the sousaphone.

It's a new day

Today will be better. I say that a lot but today is a new day. I got this.
I’m really going to go out of my way to be better today. This means going to the fireworks even though I don’t want to. It means taking a shower, brushing my teeth, being around my parents when I want to isolate, not staying in bed all day, etc.
I am going to get better someday. I’m determined today.

lilysflowershop  asked:

I'm not good at being comforting either, I'm afraid. But I do know what it's like to have a family- especially a mother - that treats you really poorly. It's horrible and I wish there was something I could do, because I know that it's shit to go through. And not having a computer is the worst! Just know I'm keeping you in my thoughts and really sending out good vibes. You seem like a nice person, you and your wife, so I hope things get better soon.

Someday, soon I hope, I won’t be here anymore. And completely out of spite I’m going to keep going. It’s amazing what spite can make me do tbh. If I quit she wins, after all. But God damn thank you all so much. This is just… Too much for my heart. I can’t handle this. I have an amazing wife,most beautiful person in my life, and all these people that actually care. I’ve just… I’ve never had this.