it-will-be-fun-they-said

peterudonta replied to {x}

even tho they’re jewish i can totally see them making (increasingly ridiculous) christmas cards for a laugh.

“come on it’s cold!” jon complained.

“why are we doing this anyway?” bran asked

“this is how goyim show they’re a happy family,” arya said.  she tucked a set of antlers she’d bought at target onto bran’s head and chucked the santa hat into jon’s face.  then she handed the rudolph nose to sansa before donning her own.

“they’re going to think we’re making fun of them,” sansa said wryly, putting the nose on her face.  “does this clash with my hair?”

“you look lovely,” beamed bran.

“we’re not making fun of them.  we’re having fun,” arya said cheerfully.

“can we hurry up?  it’s cold,” jon complained again.  

arya jumped up and jon caught her and she grinned at the camera.  “on the count of three say happy hannukah!”

every harry potter post on here thats not a super tenuous and ill-advised political metaphor is some exhausting 3-part affair where the first part is the op being like “can you summon a patronus specifically to suck your dick lol” and then some rando comes along and adds onto it like “no this is a very beautiful idea. imagine students in dumbledores army learning to summon customized fleshlight patronuses… imagine summoning a human shaped patronus you could date….. what if hogwarts professors knew fun pop culture references and said them to each other” and then the third part is someone posting an 80k word essay-fanfiction about their heroic slytherin OC being the first wizard ever to pioneer the Dickius Suckicus enchantment and starting the first sex positive wizard kink shoppe that ends up defeating voldemort or whatever the fuck

Season 1 Bashir: This is BRILLIANT, gonna practice RUGGED FRONTIER MEDICINE and have ADVENTURES and do THRILLING HEROICS and PULL MORE TAIL THAN JAMES T. KIRK

Season 4 Bashir: Have been officially dumped by everything in a skirt on the station. Adventures are scary. Major Kira is scary. Captain Sisko’s shiny bald head is scary. Also am fairly certain I want to fuck a lizard.

fake dating! zimbits

It was only by a stroke of luck that Jack happened to look at his phone just as he exits the lecture hall. The group chat was blowing up – the group chat was always blowing up these days – but the lack of all-caps or exclamation marks caught his attention right away.

Eric Bittle: Guys, I wouldn’t ask this of y’all if I really didn’t need this, but I have to ask a HUGE favor of one of you.

Shitty Knight: brah are you dying

Justin Oluransi: You can have my kidney, Bits.

Adam Birkholtz: u aren’t gonna save that for me just in CASE, JUSTIN?

Larissa Duan: shit, bitty, r u ok

Eric Bittle: Um, yeah, mostly, I just…..need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.

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Join the Deliverance, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
I’m like 2hrs into the game but man I feel bad for team mom Lukas already lmfao

heartbreak chronicles {2} | M

PT 1 | PT 2 ONGOING

Contains: smut, sexting {fuckboy!jimin}

Words: 5,764

Summary: Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well.

[img cr]

A/N: Can you believe that I managed to come up with a quick update? Me neither.

Monotone, drowning in tedium — that was how your first Monday class begun. Somewhere deep inside your mind, you could hear your teacher going on about an empty subject, filling the air inside the classroom with disconex sentences and incomprehensible claims; your own perception far beyond the yellowed walls of that room. Perhaps, sitting on the last row was not helping your lack of focus; but, much to your personal bliss, Jennie was right next to you, taking the notes you would make sure to use later.

In all honesty, your mind was in the same location as before: the party. Equivalent to what unfolded during the weekend, the story repeated itself amidst your tired daydreams; dragging your consciousness towards the bubbling, divergent feelings inside your chest. Unlike what you first expected, the anguish and guilt of your acts did not last longer than the ride back to your dorm, instead morphing into a sense of curiosity. After all, there were so many details that you waited to be presented with — the second step, the collateral damage it would have on your friendship and, more than anything, Jimin’s reaction.

You just did not expect it would come that instant.

The cloudy preoccupations of your chaotic thoughts dissipated as a light buzz sounded below you, your phone lighting up with a new notification. With a frown, you stared down at the illuminated screen, eyes falling to the white text.

The second you read it, your heart skipped a beat.

[10:22] Jimin: we need to talk

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After the season finale of Supernatural.
  • Doctor Who fandom: Oh no.
  • Sherlock fandom: Not again. *Sighs*
  • Doctor Who fandom: D-do we need to do something?
  • Sherlock fandom: I don't know if we CAN do anything...
  • Supernatural fandom, rolling around and crying in a fetal position: caRRY ON THEY SAID! It'll bE FUN THEY SAID! AAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH
  • CROWWWWWWLEEEEY
  • ROWEEEEEEEEEENA
  • *Sniffles* CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
  • Doctor Who fandom: Yeah no there's nothing we can do. Just let it pass.
2

- Why don’t you take this form more often Amatus?                                             - Dorian.                                                                                                               - You’re halla fine.

Dorianmance Week : Centaur!Au

The Name Game

The Name Game (m)

Word count: 3.1k

Genre/warning: smut, literally no plot - I legit was having some Tae feels and wanted a dirty talk, fuckboy one shot. So this is the result.

Also for my baby girl, @borderlinehc hope you enjoy. 

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You invite some of your friends over for a small party. When a tame night in turns into a dirty one. Your friend Hoseok comes up with a fun game for you all to participate in.

You were rushing around your house getting everything ready at the last possible second. It was only some of your closest friends coming over but you still wanted the house to look good. Especially if Taehyung might show up. He said he had to work but he would try and get his shift covered. You felt like such a teenager but you really did have such a big thing for him.

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Why does everyone always agree to the bloody shadow game?? The Millenium items are no protection from a swift chair to the face, after all.

In other news, the wife and I are watching the Yu-Gi-Oh anime (again, in my case) and it is Excellent.

Vodka

This is sorta lame and cheesy, but it’s basically just a fluffy Imagine about Tom being a cute boyfriend and taking care of his drunk girlfriend💗
Author’s Note: This is a oneshot inspired by sorta me? My mom had a party and made a ton of mixed drinks, and because I’m a dumb baby that never drinks, I forgot that vodka literally punches you in a face when you drink too much of it? Anyways, I got drunk and ended up crying to one of my cousins for about 40 minutes about all the reasons why I love Tom? Apparently, I’m even more cheesy and sentimental drunk than I am sober, who knew lol?

Vodka
She giggled to herself, ankles knocking into each other as she braced herself on the door of her apartment. She was absolutely, completely, and undeniably smashed. Truly, she couldn’t even remember how she’d gotten this way, but then again, she could barely recall her uber ride home.
Her hands kept shaking and she couldn’t find the correct key to fit itself into the doorknob. At this rate, she’d be out all night.
Tom paused the film he was watching and glanced back towards the front door. He was pretty sure that he could hear someone out there, but it was probably just their neighbor’s being noisy. Allowing the film to regain his full attention, he did his best to ignore the strange sounds outside, until he heard something that replicated her giggle.
His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. She was supposed to be at a sleepover with her best friends, not coming home at one in the morning? Tom got up and made his way over to the window by the door. Peeking out, he saw that the giggle outside indeed belonged to her, and she appeared to be struggling hugely with the task of opening the door.
Quickly crossing to help her inside, Tom yanked open the door and barely had time to catch her as she crashed in on top of him.
“Tom!” She yelped excitedly, making no effort to move off of him, instead cuddling further into him, while he laid sprawled across the floor with her lying on his chest. “Do you wanna hear a joke? It’s so dirty and I know how you love dirty things!” She explained innocently, her eyelashes tickling his neck.
Tom chuckled, “Darling, come on up here. We’ve gotta close the door.”
“Okay, I’ll tell you!” She leaned over him, “What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?”
“You’re absolutely wrecked.” Tom laughed, taking in her mussed up appearance. She still looked good, how could she not? Her skirt was just shorter, her breasts were more exposed than she’d be comfortable with sober, and her eyemakeup was slightly smudged. Her hair tumbled down her back in messy waves and she teetered on her high heels.
If she had come home sober, Tom would’ve dragged her off to bed with him, but alas, she was drunk and needed to be taken care of.
“She gagged!” His girlfriend giggled, finishing up the butt of her joke. “Do you get it?”
Tom burst out laughing and cradled the back of her head as he rolled her onto her side so that he could get up to lock the door. “Yes, baby, I do. Where’d you hear that one?”
She didn’t even seem to have registered what he asked her because, in response, she said, “I don’t think I’d be Cinderella if I was a disney princess. She gags, but not me. I don’t gag, unless you make me.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re going to be so embarrassed in the morning.” Tom said, slipping his hands beneath her arms to pick her up. Helping her down the hallway to their bedroom, he asked, “Darling, how come you’re not with your friends right now?”
She blinked her eyes slowly and licked her lips. “We were all talking, and drinking. So, so, so much drinking. Did you know that vodka is strong? Like, it’s so strong, because, I’m not sure if you can tell, but,” She leaned closer to his chest and pressed herself up onto her tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “I’m kinda drunk right now.”
Turning his head towards her, he decided to play along, “Are you serious? I’d had no clue.”
“Well, yes! Anywho,” She dragged out the last letter of anywho before she tripped over herself again.
Tom caught her and slipped a firmer hand around her waist. “Anywho?” He pressed.
“We were all talking about our boyfriends, and how much we love them, because, I love you so much. And then, we started talking about the stuff we do with our boyfriends.” She paused in the hallway to poke Tom’s chest, “That’s my favorite shirt on you.”
“Darling, I’m not wearing a shirt?” Tom said, cocking his head to the side.
“I know,” She smiled, “That’s why it’s my favorite.” She gestured to Tom’s exposed midriff, “This is all great. Like, you look so good. The best.”
Tom dissolved into laughter and shook his head, “My silly, drunk girl. What are we going to do with you?”
“Well, you see, what I’d like you to do with me is make-out. That’s really why I came home. We started talking about some things,” She cupped her hand around Tom’s ear and whispered, “Sexy time things. And we all agreed that I should come home to you so that we could do the sexy time things. Because, I wanna do them, with you.”
Finally crossing the threshold of their bedroom, Tom placed her gently onto the bed and tried to ignore her last statement. Yes, she was his girlfriend. Yes, she’d just told him that she wanted him, and yes, he obviously wanted her too. But, she was drunk, much too drunk to consent to sex with him.
Tonight, Tom would be a good boyfriend and take care of her, but, in the morning, Tom would be a good boyfriend and he’d give her at least 2 orgasms with 2 advil pills to chase away her headache before breakfast.
“Sweet girl, we can’t right now. You’ve been drinking too much, you’re absolutely wasted.” Tom tried to reason with her.
“No, no I’m not. If I was drunk, could I do this?” She took a deep breath, “‘May I feel said he/ (I’ll squeal said she/ just once said he) It’s fun said she/ (May I touch said he/ How much said she/ A lot said he) Why not said she.”
Tom cut her off, “Sweetheart, nothing you say matters right now, you’re too drunk. Now just let me help you out of that dress.” Shaking his head, Tom laughed as he walked over to her with an oversized sweatshirt of his in his hand. Only she would be able to quote E.E. Cummings completely inebriated.
Kneeling in front of her, Tom lifted one of her feet onto his lap to unbuckled her high heeled shoe. Undoing the clasp and carefully removing the heel, he pressed a tender kiss to the top of her foot.
“You know, I like it a lot better when you’re on your knees for a different reason.” She pouted, sitting up to watch him.
Tom chuckled again as he began to remove her other shoe, “Trust me darling, so do I. Roll over-” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence when she interjected.
“Are you gonna spank me?” She asked, rolling over. Her tiny dress had ridden up even more and Tom had to bite down on his lower lip and clasp his hands together to prevent himself from doing just that.
“You’re making this really difficult.” Tom muttered.
“Then do something about it. I thought bad girls got spankings?” She teased him, eyeing the hardness growing within his pajama bottoms.
“Stop it, I’m trying to take care of you and you’re making it really hard.” Tom groaned.
“I can tell,” She giggled.
“For fucks sake,” Tom rolled his eyes, “I’m going to help you out of the dress, and that’s all the touching I’m going to do tonight. Then, I’m going to take off your makeup, and you’re going to go to sleep.”
“Tom,” She whined, wriggling around on the bed, “I don’t wanna. I want you to do me.”
Tom laughed, “You’re going to die in the morning, oh my gosh. You’re such a child.”
“Ugh!” She whined and flattened out onto the mattress.
Sitting down behind her on the bed, Tom rolled her over and unzipped the back of her dress. He did his best to not look, but the zipper kept getting caught in her hair, and he couldn’t ignore the soft skin of her back. He saw that she’d chosen to wear the pretty, light pink, lace bra that she’d been wearing the first time they’d had sex. Groaning over the memories, he helped her rid her body of the confining fabric of her dress and had slid his sweatshirt over her body.
She turned to lay on her back, “Will you at least kiss me?”
“Yes,” Tom placed a soft kiss on her mouth, “Do you wanna get up to go to the bathroom to take off your makeup, or do you want me to do it for you here?”
“Hmmm, here.” She sat up and stuck her hands inside of the sweatshirt, only to toss her bra off seconds later.
Tom’s eye lingered on her chest as he got up to retrieve her makeup wipes.
“I love youuuuu.” She said, hugging herself to his chest after Tom had successfully cleansed her face of all traces of makeup. “You’re my favorite, even though you refuse to fuck me.”
Tom tucked the duvet under her chin and crawled in behind her. He kissed her temple and curled an arm around her, “I love you too darling.”
He prayed to the high heavens above that she wouldn’t feel his excitement poking her in the back while she drifted off and into dreamland.

Tips To Surviving Band Camp

Hey everyone! So as the school year is coming to an end, marching season is beginning. This of course means band camp! Whether you’re a rookie or a returner, it’s always nice to know what you’re getting into and have some reminders.

1. WATER! Drink LOTS of water! This is probably the most important thing. Stay hydrated, drink water every chance you get, because you’re going to be out in the hot sun on the turf all day. Most people bring those big water jugs, make sure you drink AT LEAST one of those in a day, two would be even better. Drink a lot at night too so you’re hydrated in the morning too. 

2. Sleep! You’re gonna be exhausted at the end of each day, so make sure you take care of yourself and get the sleep you need to stay healthy during camp. I know I went to my drum major’s house and fell asleep during dinner break last year XD You want to have the energy you need, which is gonna be a lot, so don’t be staying up till 1 or 2 am watching netflix if you know you have vis block at 7 am.

3. For my trans and nonbinary friends, DO NOT bind during band camp! Trust me, I am in the same boat with this one. As much as I know you want to pass, it’s not safe or healthy to bind in those conditions. You’ll restrict your breathing at a time when it matters most. I know it’s gonna suck, but your health and safety is more important.

4. Don’t blow your chops out! Sometimes you really wanna practice, or over practice, but trust me if this happens you won’t be helping yourself. You wanna be able to come to camp every day ready to play your best, and you won’t be able to do that if you over played the day before. Know you’re limits and recovery time, especially for all you lead trumpets.

5. Eat. Whether you’re in drum corps or a high school band, you all need to eat. This goes along with sleep and water, but you need the energy. If you go jazz running around the field in 100 degrees whether with no food in your stomach, you’re gonna throw up or pass out. Stay healthy and take care of your body and make sure you’re getting the nutrients and protein your body needs for an activity like this.

6. When it comes to health and safety, just know your limits. If you’re not feeling great, sit out. You director will understand. Your health always comes first. And if something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Also, I know a lot of people have injuries. Make sure you don’t push those. Wear the knee brace or the elbow brace, wrap your ankle, do whatever you can to help yourself and sit out if it hurts. Don’t push yourself too far.

7. Now that the health and safety stuff has been addressed, social interaction! A lot of you rookies may go in not knowing people, and I understand how scary that can be. Take it from someone who couldn’t even talk to the two girls marching next to me for the entirety of band camp, it’s so much better if you just talk to them. Talk to other freshmen, talk to your section leaders and drum majors, talk to the upperclassmen! We want to get to know you too, and we know it’s hard at first. Band camp is the beginning of a great journey and you’ll make so many friends, you have nothing to be worried about.

8. DON’T LOSE YOUR DOT SHEETS OR MUSIC!!! Seriously. If you lose them, we have to go to the band room and make copies, then you’re behind because you didn’t have all the materials. It makes it easier on everyone if you keep track of everything. It’s also good to show that you’re responsible.

9. Listen to your techs, section leaders, and drum majors. They know what they’re talking and they were put into their positions for a reason. If they tell you you need to fix something or to stop messing around, listen. They’re doing what’s best for you and the band. You learn so much from them too, take every opportunity you get when they give you tips for improvement.

10. HAVE FUN! Like I said earlier, band camp is just the beginning. Do things with your friends! Go out for lunch or dinner together, get to know everyone, have a little fun with your rehearsals. A lot of schools do games at band camp and get into it! It’s so fun to just relax and goof around with people. Do things with your section, talk to people. Just have a good time! These people are gonna become your family and give you an amazing experience.

Bonus (11). A lot of people are reblogging this and adding SUNSCREEN! I cant believe I forgot that haha but yes! Sunscreen is super important! Even if you don’t burn easily, wear it! Reapply every 1-2 hours if I’m being honest. Getting burned sucks!